Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(University of Illinois)   Peace was never an option, eh? That's the Chicago way   (aces.illinois.edu) divider line
    More: Amusing, Abuse, Harassment, Psychological abuse, Canada geese, standard goose harassment efforts, Ryan Askren, Mike Ward, considerable time  
•       •       •

4009 clicks; posted to Main » and STEM » on 30 Nov 2022 at 2:35 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-11-29 9:24:09 PM  
Ill-annoyed geese?
 
2022-11-29 9:59:51 PM  
There are hungry people in cook county
 
2022-11-30 2:38:20 AM  
It does sound like we could eat our way out of the problem.
 
2022-11-30 3:06:34 AM  

beezeltown: Ill-annoyed geese?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 3:10:08 AM  

vudukungfu: There are hungry people in cook county


Are they worth eating, though? I mean that in taste and edibility? Dark-side corruption can't taste all that good imo.
 
2022-11-30 3:26:19 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 3:49:51 AM  

Smoking GNU: vudukungfu: There are hungry people in cook county

Are they worth eating, though? I mean that in taste and edibility? Dark-side corruption can't taste all that good imo.


An acquaintance of mine is permitted by the town to cull about twenty or so every season.  Overall it's a little on the greasy side and more of a chew compared to chicken, the breasts make phenomenal smoked jerky.
 
2022-11-30 3:52:42 AM  

Redh8t: Smoking GNU: vudukungfu: There are hungry people in cook county

Are they worth eating, though? I mean that in taste and edibility? Dark-side corruption can't taste all that good imo.

An acquaintance of mine is permitted by the town to cull about twenty or so every season.  Overall it's a little on the greasy side and more of a chew compared to chicken, the breasts make phenomenal smoked jerky.


Hmm, wonder how it'd fare in a slow-cooker /crockpot. Gotten pretty handy with those lately, been making more and more meals that you can strech over 5 sittings by converting further leftovers into pies.
 
2022-11-30 4:02:16 AM  
Here in Canada we use them for hammer throw practice.
 
2022-11-30 4:04:51 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 5:16:20 AM  
Leather bondage swings probably confuse. They are more simple than you think.
 
2022-11-30 5:36:23 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 6:27:16 AM  

monty666: Leather bondage swings probably confuse. They are more simple than you think.


They need more directions on what gets strapped where and in what order.
 
2022-11-30 6:43:15 AM  
Imagine 10 story tall versions on 4 legs.  The Jurassic must've been a nightmare place.

And the poop.  Oh god, the poop!
 
2022-11-30 6:43:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 7:04:40 AM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: Imagine 10 story tall versions on 4 legs.  The Jurassic must've been a nightmare place.

And the poop.  Oh god, the poop!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 7:14:11 AM  
We have nearly permanent residential geese in our subdivision. They tend to leave during the -20, but anything around freezing and they're assing up the whole place.
 
2022-11-30 7:20:34 AM  
The study isn't the first to find harassment doesn't work, but it is the first to explain why.

Did the geese leave? Yes. But they returned to the area almost two times faster than on days when they weren't harassed and left the park on their own.

"When they're not being harassed, they're making the choice to leave the park because it's beneficial to them - there's a resource elsewhere they want to access," Askren says. "Whereas when we're harassing them, they probably have a biological reason to be there. There's some sort of resource, such as food or water, and they want to be there at that moment.


No, wrong. The geese refuse to be chased away. They returned out of spite. They'll leave when they're damn good and ready.

But in all seriousness this reminds me of cities trying to chase out the homeless. =/
 
2022-11-30 7:29:05 AM  

vudukungfu: There are hungry people in cook county


...and cold people.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 8:09:29 AM  

Twilight Farkle: [Fark user image 540x940]


And then there are those among us who know the secret.  We're bigger than the goose.

That's not a bottle of Grey Goose...
Youtube Kxiys_GQRI0
 
2022-11-30 8:49:51 AM  
Of course it doesn't work. In nature, all geese areas are full of predators, if geese abandoned every aria the first or second time a coyote or hawk showed up and harassed them, they would have gone extinct.
 
2022-11-30 9:20:05 AM  

MechaPyx: The study isn't the first to find harassment doesn't work, but it is the first to explain why.

Did the geese leave? Yes. But they returned to the area almost two times faster than on days when they weren't harassed and left the park on their own.

"When they're not being harassed, they're making the choice to leave the park because it's beneficial to them - there's a resource elsewhere they want to access," Askren says. "Whereas when we're harassing them, they probably have a biological reason to be there. There's some sort of resource, such as food or water, and they want to be there at that moment.

No, wrong. The geese refuse to be chased away. They returned out of spite. They'll leave when they're damn good and ready.

But in all seriousness this reminds me of cities trying to chase out the homeless. =/


They only win because arbitrary restrictions are placed on the harassers.  Instead of banging a pot (or whatever stupid shiat they did in the article), run out with nets to capture them, beat them to death with clubs, and scatter the entrails.
 
2022-11-30 9:25:13 AM  
If attacked by a goose: grab it by the neck, swing it around your head [til you hear the "snap"], throw it at the other geese.

They'll get the hint.

Otherwise, there has to be some sort of terrier that will happily attack the shiat out of geese. They were bred to be pest destroyers.
 
2022-11-30 9:52:08 AM  
Nobody enjoys killing Geese, but if your gonna kill Geese, you might as well enjoy it.
 
2022-11-30 10:24:44 AM  

Smoking GNU: Redh8t: Smoking GNU: vudukungfu:


Fark user imageView Full Size


Now that is comedy gold.
 
2022-11-30 11:46:54 AM  
i.redd.itView Full Size


/oblig
 
2022-11-30 12:24:51 PM  
Untitled Goose Howard

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 1:05:20 PM  

Smoking GNU: vudukungfu: There are hungry people in cook county

Are they worth eating, though? I mean that in taste and edibility? Dark-side corruption can't taste all that good imo.


You have to kill, pluck, gut, and wash them.  Then you need to either part them out or brine them whole.  If you part them out, they can be baked, smoked, fried, stirfried, braised, made into terrines, made into soup, grilled, barbecued, and generally anything else. If it can be done with chicken, it can be done with goose.  You don't want to overcook the breasts, though, because they get tough and livery past medium.  If you keep it whole and want crispy skin (and you do want crispy skin), you'll need to dry brine it too, plenty of salt, inside and out, then in the fridge uncovered overnight. Once you've done that, you'll need top make provision for the huge amount of utterly delicious fat that's going to come out.  Probably a good cup and a half off a wild goose.  You can then roast, smoke, or grill it, spatchcocked or not. If you want to do the peking duck thing, you'll need to loosen and inflate the skin and fry it before you bake or roast it.  There's a neat thing you can do with a vertical oven or smoker, which is to sewn the ass end closed, fill the body cavity with marinade, stitch the neck closed, and hang it over low heat for a while to get the fat liquid and the marinade moving, then crank it up to high and crisp the skin.  Standard practice is to prick the skin all over and put it on a roasting rack, in a roasting pan half full of water, and roast it (in an oven or on a grill over indirect heat), checking hte temp on the breasts every so often until they're about 140º internal, then remove the breasts and rest them and keep cooking until the legs and thighs are 160º or 165º.  If you were going to do this on an industrial scale, then a rotisserie would work perfectly.

They might be a bit gamey, mind, but good brining, marinating, dry rub, and stuffing (not for eating, but herbs and spices and cirtus stuffed in the body cavity) should make that no worse than lamb, for instance.

I have long suspected the solution to many invasive species is a culinary one.
 
2022-11-30 1:07:05 PM  

Flowery Twats: vudukungfu: There are hungry people in cook county

...and cold people.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 272x323]


I'm sure they'd be down with that.
 
2022-11-30 1:12:31 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: Imagine 10 story tall versions on 4 legs.  The Jurassic must've been a nightmare place.

And the poop.  Oh god, the poop!


thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 1:13:25 PM  

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: Diocletian's Last Cabbage: Imagine 10 story tall versions on 4 legs.  The Jurassic must've been a nightmare place.

And the poop.  Oh god, the poop!

[Fark user image 220x198] [View Full Size image _x_]


*tiny, prehistoric fist*
 
2022-11-30 5:24:56 PM  
Long ago and far away, I was standing on line to hire a car for an upcoming vacation rather than put the miles on one of our vehicles. The couple in front of me was asked in there would be a second driver and the husband said, yes, my wife. The clerk recorded her info and the transaction was done. When I was asked the same question, I said yes, my companion and gave his name. I was then charged a "Second Driver Fee" because we were not married (and being a same sex couple in the early 2000s, could not get married anywhere. It wasn't the money; I felt our relationship was being devalued and it wasn't our fault. At that point we had been together about a decade. This slight festered and stewed and I made a decision: wherever we could document our relationship, we would.

The first place was our nearest Metropolitan Community Church for a Holy Union. That was the first certificate to go in what would become a voluminous album of certificates, photographs and attestations from witnesses and officiants and relatives. As Laws changed in states and countries, and if we were going there, we had a ceremony. Sometimes we went just for the ceremony. For a long time, most places did not recognize the ceremonies of other places. We were Civilly and Holy Unionized, Domestically Partnered and simply married, depending on where we were and what was offered. Then, we would cross an imaginary line and all would dissipate and be undone.

On our last trip between our cottage in WI and visiting the In-Laws in CA, our drive along mostly I-80 had us as Domestic Partners in WI & NV, in a Civil Union in IL (where we lived), and Married in IA and CA, but in NE &WY we were just two guys sharing a car. We used to joke that our marital status depended on our off-ramp. Technically, while we were on the Interstate, we weren't married since the Interstate itself is Federal property and at that time there was no Federal recognition of marriage, although that was changing, by bits and pieces in the IRS. If anything happened to us, I wanted as much documentation as possible so one could make decisions for the other. The Legal Papers section of the Album was thick. By the time SCOTUS decided Obergafell, we had twenty-three ceremonies.

Because IA had a three-day waiting period before a wedding could be performed, and we were required to have an IA address during those three days, we checked into a hotel in Davenport. Then, during the next three days, we drove into Albert Lea, MN and Elk Grove, WI and our Rockford, IL to be married, domestically partnered and civilly unionized by officiants in those place, finally being married in IA on the fourth day and returning home. It was a busy weekend.

We also drove to Canada to be married there and made a trip to Hubby's native Azores, Portugal when same-sex marriage became legal there. Eventually, I became a dual citizen in Portugal (All I had to do was visit the Consulate in San Francisco, prove we had been married three years, and have a conversation in Portuguese with a Consulate funcionario (functionary, clerk, I can't really translate the title into English well) to prove I can, if living alone there as a widower, care for myself. That and a small fee, and I had a second passport and identity card as a Portuguese Citizen.

When SCOTUS decided Obergafell and same-sex marriage became the Law of the Land, we stopped having ceremonies, except for our Final Big Wedding. It was held in the Chapel of LeMoore Station. My degree is in Arch. History. My step-grandfather was a refugee from Nazi Germany, like the architect who designed the Base, Richard Neutra. The Base is close enough to accommodate my In-Laws who live in the Central Valley and made a nice vacation for my remaining Family who wished to attend. (We stumped up for the transportation to and from, and for the hotels at, leaving them with car-rentals and meals; we asked only for their presence as our "gifts," since we had had so many ceremonies before, other gifts were unnecessary and superfluous). Also, both Hubby and I are retired career military, so having the Final & Big Ceremony in a Military Base Chapel was important to us. It was officiated by a female Navy Chaplain who travelled to do it on her own time since she wasn't assigned to LeMoore. For all those years in the Navy we had to hide ourselves "in the locker," it was nice to be able to do this publickly in a Base Chapel with a Navy Chaplain. Also, my Sister was career USAF, my Mother served in the WAAFS in WW2, and her mother was one of the first women in the US to wear a military uniform: she was a Navy Yeomanette at Great Lakes Naval Station, IL during WW1 from 1917 -1918. Hubby used the Navy to become an American Citizen (he was born in the Azores but came to the US with his Family when he was 8 years old in 1970.

It was our second marriage in CA, the first being during that 8 month (?) period in 2008 when same-sex marriage was legal but later challenged. The first marriage remained valid according to the Court Decision but subsequent marriages didn't resume for several years. Our first marriage was held by the County Clerk of Merced County in the basement "Chapel" of the Court House. My In-Laws lived in that county then, as we do now. Funny: we are both cheap. We could have married in the court-house of Stanislaus County, which is closer, but we chose Merced because the Marriage License and fees were $25 less than in Stanislaus County. That the In-Laws who wanted to attend had to drive further was irrelevant.

At every ceremony, we would find witnesses. Sometimes the ceremony was put together quickly. (You think planning one ceremony is tough, try 23, most of them on the fly!) We never asked anyone to buy us gifts (we had everything, and actually more) and we always paid for witnesses and guests expenses. We were inviting them. Some of our witnesses were just locals, court employees or strangers we just met. Sometimes we were able to plan ahead enough to bring friends and family to be with us. In the Azores, Hubby wanted to be married in the village church he had been baptized in but the Roman Catholic priest there said no, so we had it  in a small, rented hall in Horta on the Island of Faial, invited his large family from at least four of the nine islands of the archipeligo, and found accommodations for them if they came from off-island. It was a nice ceremony and I think it lasted the longest with the apres-wedding party of any of them.

We gained a lot of good memories because Hertz ticked me off with a "Second Driver Fee."
 
2022-11-30 11:56:09 PM  

beezeltown: If attacked by a goose: grab it by the neck, swing it around your head [til you hear the "snap"], throw it at the other geese.

They'll get the hint.

Otherwise, there has to be some sort of terrier that will happily attack the shiat out of geese. They were bred to be pest destroyers.


I was thinking of shooting one, half plucking it, burning one wing to a char, cutting its dick off and shoving it down it's own throat then crucifying the farker near the pond as a warning to the other geese.
 
2022-12-01 10:29:01 AM  

NINEv2: beezeltown: If attacked by a goose: grab it by the neck, swing it around your head [til you hear the "snap"], throw it at the other geese.

They'll get the hint.

Otherwise, there has to be some sort of terrier that will happily attack the shiat out of geese. They were bred to be pest destroyers.

I was thinking of shooting one, half plucking it, burning one wing to a char, cutting its dick off and shoving it down it's own throat then crucifying the farker near the pond as a warning to the other geese.


If this weren't a conversation about asshole geese, I would brand you as a psycholunatic. As it stands, though, your suggestion is within the bounds of "reasonable."
 
Displayed 34 of 34 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.