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(The Sun)   "It's burning up my bank account to have sex with my masseuse and I want it but wish iat were free. What do?' (possible nsfw content on page)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Awkward, Massage, Marriage, The Sun, Sexual intercourse, Human sexual behavior, Human sexuality, News of the World, Newspaper  
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584 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 29 Nov 2022 at 10:50 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



23 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-11-29 8:46:27 AM  
Sex with you, and you want it for free? Your wife doesn't want it, and she already 'has it' when she wants, and you expect someone else to touch your naughty bits without preamble or wooing of any sort without paying for it?

He don't want much, do he? How about a free unicorn with that happy ending?
 
2022-11-29 9:21:52 AM  
Try jacking it before you decide if you really want to spend the money. The moments of clarity afterward will help you keep things under control.
 
2022-11-29 9:22:53 AM  
You spelled hooker wrong
 
2022-11-29 10:07:48 AM  
Have you tried keeping a 10 Bob note up your nose?
 
2022-11-29 10:35:30 AM  
If you are burning through 200 pounds, I suggest you wear a condom and switch lubricants.
 
2022-11-29 11:05:14 AM  
A client asked for a happy ending ONCE and seemed to be very happy until his pubes burst into flames.

- Stone Masseuse
 
2022-11-29 11:10:12 AM  
Does she clean the house?
 
2022-11-29 11:10:30 AM  
She joked that I needed to last longer to get my money's worth.

Oh, no, lady. I paid for an hour with a massuese and a happy ending, you just chose the order of operations. These shoulders don't rub themselves.
 
2022-11-29 11:23:50 AM  
try porn hub
 
2022-11-29 11:25:14 AM  
Marry her.
Implementation details are left as an exercise for the reader.
 
2022-11-29 11:33:19 AM  
Ask the Browns for big contract?
 
2022-11-29 11:35:47 AM  
Easy, become a masseuse yourself and people will start paying YOU to have sex!
 
2022-11-29 11:45:00 AM  

SuperChuck: Ask the Browns for big contract?


Lol.
If he had paid for a happy ending he wouldn't be scorned.
Wth, Browns?
 
2022-11-29 11:53:44 AM  

palelizard: She joked that I needed to last longer to get my money's worth.

Oh, no, lady. I paid for an hour with a massuese and a happy ending, you just chose the order of operations. These shoulders don't rub themselves.


Seriously though.

I happily pay money for plain ol' massages. The sore muscles in my neck and shoulders aren't gonna get fixed by spending a bit of alone time on the internet.
 
2022-11-29 12:05:41 PM  
Work on making yourself desirable so that people want to have sex with you.

This usually only requires simple changes like regular bathing and treating others with respect.
 
2022-11-29 12:14:50 PM  

Moose out front: Easy, become a masseuse yourself and people will start paying YOU to have sex!


Maybe it would be enough if he just becomes a masseur.  The sex change seems unnecessary.
 
2022-11-29 12:26:06 PM  
Trying buying her a new car and jewelry and new clothes, and pay rent on an apartment for her, then she'll possibly stop charging you for sex.
 
2022-11-29 1:26:48 PM  

olrasputin: palelizard: She joked that I needed to last longer to get my money's worth.

Oh, no, lady. I paid for an hour with a massuese and a happy ending, you just chose the order of operations. These shoulders don't rub themselves.

Seriously though.

I happily pay money for plain ol' massages. The sore muscles in my neck and shoulders aren't gonna get fixed by spending a bit of alone time on the internet.


The though of paying a stranger to touch me creeps me the fark out. OTOH, I have no problem banging random drunken strangers I meet in bars. The psyche is a weird thing.
 
2022-11-29 1:35:15 PM  

drewogatory: olrasputin: palelizard: She joked that I needed to last longer to get my money's worth.

Oh, no, lady. I paid for an hour with a massuese and a happy ending, you just chose the order of operations. These shoulders don't rub themselves.

Seriously though.

I happily pay money for plain ol' massages. The sore muscles in my neck and shoulders aren't gonna get fixed by spending a bit of alone time on the internet.

The though of paying a stranger to touch me creeps me the fark out. OTOH, I have no problem banging random drunken strangers I meet in bars. The psyche is a weird thing.


I mean...it's only a stranger the first appointment.

I will say that dudes have a hard time finding decent masseuses. Male masseuses generally have a tougher time booking both genders, so many of the successful self-employed folks I've interacted with are women. Who are of course wary about new male customers...

At any rate, it helps when female friends recommend their masseuse, so they can vouch that you're not going to be weird. Well...bad weird. Not Fark weird.
 
2022-11-29 1:54:51 PM  

olrasputin: drewogatory: olrasputin: palelizard: She joked that I needed to last longer to get my money's worth.

Oh, no, lady. I paid for an hour with a massuese and a happy ending, you just chose the order of operations. These shoulders don't rub themselves.

Seriously though.

I happily pay money for plain ol' massages. The sore muscles in my neck and shoulders aren't gonna get fixed by spending a bit of alone time on the internet.

The though of paying a stranger to touch me creeps me the fark out. OTOH, I have no problem banging random drunken strangers I meet in bars. The psyche is a weird thing.

I mean...it's only a stranger the first appointment.

I will say that dudes have a hard time finding decent masseuses. Male masseuses generally have a tougher time booking both genders, so many of the successful self-employed folks I've interacted with are women. Who are of course wary about new male customers...

At any rate, it helps when female friends recommend their masseuse, so they can vouch that you're not going to be weird. Well...bad weird. Not Fark weird.


I mean, I don't want a massage. Did you miss where it creeps me out? I'm not looking to get over it.
 
2022-11-29 3:46:46 PM  
Assuming it's not fake, there has to be way more to this story.
 
2022-11-29 3:53:42 PM  

themindiswatching: Assuming it's not fake, there has to be way more to this story.


It's fake.  He's an accountant and he can't hide GBP400 a month in expenditures?
 
2022-11-29 8:19:42 PM  

themindiswatching: Assuming it's not fake, there has to be way more to this story.


That's a big assumption. All the 'Deidre' letters are fake.
 
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