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(WCVB Boston)   If you're driving drunk, you might want to maintain a lower profile by not passing cops in excess of 100 MPH   (wcvb.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Boston, Interstate 93, Manchester, New Hampshire, U.S. Route 3, Concord, New Hampshire, Interstate 89  
•       •       •

1681 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2022 at 9:37 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-11-28 8:31:44 AM  
If they don't chase you after a mile they don't chase you.

/Maybe it's three miles
 
2022-11-28 8:42:31 AM  
Where's the fun in that?
 
2022-11-28 9:40:06 AM  
You only get caught if you slow down
 
2022-11-28 9:41:57 AM  

Wine Sipping Elitist: You only get caught if you slow down


Exactly. Just ask my friend Ryan Dunn.
 
2022-11-28 9:43:43 AM  
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (8/10) Movie CLIP - The Lonely Highway Patrolman (1998) HD
Youtube BwDlobymMk0
 
2022-11-28 9:44:05 AM  
Real men fight the cops while drunk, wearing no pants.
 
2022-11-28 9:44:21 AM  
About five miles back I had a brush with the CHP. Not stopped or pulled over: nothing routine. I always drive properly. A bit fast, perhaps, but always with consummate skill and a natural feel for the road that even cops recognize. No cop was ever born who isn't a sucker for a finely-executed hi-speed Controlled Drift all the way around one of those cloverleaf freeway interchanges.

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side when he sees the big red light behind him ... and then he will start apologizing, begging for mercy.

This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. The thing to do - when you're running along about 100 or so and you suddenly find a red-flashing CHP-tracker on your tail - what you want to do then is accelerate. Never pull over with the first siren-howl. Mash iat down and make the bastard chase you at speeds up to 120 all the way to the next exit. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker-signal that says you're about to turn right.

This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk ... keep signaling and hope for an off-ramp, one of those uphill side-loops with a sign saying "Max Speed 25" ... and the trick, at this point, is to suddenly leave the freeway and take him into the chute at no less than 100 miles an hour.

He will lock his brakes about the same time you lock yours, but it will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180-degree turn at this speed ... but you will be ready for it, braced for the Gs and the fast heel-toe work, and with any luck at all you will have come to a complete stop off the road at the top of the turn and be standing beside your automobile by the time he catches up.

He will not be reasonable at first ... but no matter. Let him calm down. He will want the first word. Let him have it. His brain will be in a turmoil: he may begin jabbering, or even pull his gun. Let him unwind; keep smiling. The idea is to show him that you were always in total control of yourself and your vehicle - while he lost control of everything.
 
2022-11-28 9:54:16 AM  
Listen, they need to be off the road soon as possible!
 
2022-11-28 9:56:00 AM  

medius: About five miles back I had a brush with the CHP. Not stopped or pulled over: nothing routine. I always drive properly. A bit fast, perhaps, but always with consummate skill and a natural feel for the road that even cops recognize. No cop was ever born who isn't a sucker for a finely-executed hi-speed Controlled Drift all the way around one of those cloverleaf freeway interchanges.

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side when he sees the big red light behind him ... and then he will start apologizing, begging for mercy.

This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. The thing to do - when you're running along about 100 or so and you suddenly find a red-flashing CHP-tracker on your tail - what you want to do then is accelerate. Never pull over with the first siren-howl. Mash iat down and make the bastard chase you at speeds up to 120 all the way to the next exit. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker-signal that says you're about to turn right.

This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk ... keep signaling and hope for an off-ramp, one of those uphill side-loops with a sign saying "Max Speed 25" ... and the trick, at this point, is to suddenly leave the freeway and take him into the chute at no less than 100 miles an hour.

He will lock his brakes about the same time you lock yours, but it will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180-degree turn at this speed ... but you will be ready for it, braced for the Gs and the fast heel-toe work, and with any luck at all you will have come to a complete stop off the road at the top of the turn and be standing beside your automobile by the time he catches up.

He will not be reasonable at first ... but no matter. Let him calm down. He will want the first word. Let him have it. His brain will be in a turmoil: he may begin jabbering, or ev ...


** DISCLAIMER: Do not try this if you are a black person.
 
2022-11-28 9:58:54 AM  

Catsaregreen: ** DISCLAIMER: Do not try this if you are a black person.

 
2022-11-28 10:00:36 AM  
Many moons ago I got pulled over for speeding, and I think I was missing my insurance card or something, and the cop straight-up told me he likes to hit people for as many violations as possible in one stop. I'm not sure why he needed to tell me that, but ok, thanks for the info sir.
 
2022-11-28 10:04:08 AM  

Wine Sipping Elitist: You only get caught if you slow down


Good pro tip for the holidays! Thank you!
 
2022-11-28 10:04:12 AM  
I always wind up behind the Massholes who are making a very concerted effort to stay under the speed limit so that they don't get pulled over.  And almost as great an effort to stay in their lane... which makes them go even slower.

/makes me wish I had a light with a magnetic base I could slap on the roof...
 
2022-11-28 10:05:50 AM  
Anything above 88 and you're in some serious shiat.
 
2022-11-28 10:06:13 AM  

dbirchall: I always wind up behind the Massholes who are making a very concerted effort to stay under the speed limit so that they don't get pulled over.  And almost as great an effort to stay in their lane... which makes them go even slower.


This is the exact opposite of how they normally drive, I assur

e you.
 
2022-11-28 10:06:23 AM  

born_yesterday: If they don't chase you after a mile they don't chase you.

/Maybe it's three miles


You can't outrun a Motorola....and now, there are cameras everywhere.
 
2022-11-28 10:13:18 AM  
Just another example of criminals being caught because of their own stupidity rather than police work.
 
2022-11-28 10:16:06 AM  
I just hope that no donuts were wasted in this silly pursuit.
 
2022-11-28 10:29:35 AM  
An acquaintance of mine filled her bingo card in one shot. She "borrowed" her dad's Corvette and got clocked at something like 130mph, whom she then tried to RACE. She was coked up and she was over twice the legal alcohol limit by the time they finally got her with a roadblock.

Except she was 17 at the time and her dad had enough pull to turn all of it into just a license suspension. Everything else got turned in to "kids will be kids", apparently.
 
2022-11-28 10:37:39 AM  

Fano: Listen, they need to be off the road soon as possible!


Exactly the less time they are on the road the less time they have to hurt anyone else, go faster I say!
 
2022-11-28 10:49:59 AM  

Incog_Neeto: Fano: Listen, they need to be off the road soon as possible!

Exactly the less time they are on the road the less time they have to hurt anyone else, go faster I say!


*takes three shots*

Now let me speed home before I get drunk
 
2022-11-28 11:10:06 AM  

Wine Sipping Elitist: Incog_Neeto: Fano: Listen, they need to be off the road soon as possible!
Exactly the less time they are on the road the less time they have to hurt anyone else, go faster I say!
*takes three shots*
Now let me speed home before I get drunk


Excellent.  I knew you guys would know.  If you're drunk and you don't want to be caught driving, you need to spend the least amount of time on the road as possible, so of course you speed.  It's science.
 
2022-11-28 11:11:59 AM  

medius: About five miles back I had a brush with the CHP. Not stopped or pulled over: nothing routine. I always drive properly. A bit fast, perhaps, but always with consummate skill and a natural feel for the road that even cops recognize. No cop was ever born who isn't a sucker for a finely-executed hi-speed Controlled Drift all the way around one of those cloverleaf freeway interchanges.

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side when he sees the big red light behind him ... and then he will start apologizing, begging for mercy.

This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. The thing to do - when you're running along about 100 or so and you suddenly find a red-flashing CHP-tracker on your tail - what you want to do then is accelerate. Never pull over with the first siren-howl. Mash iat down and make the bastard chase you at speeds up to 120 all the way to the next exit. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker-signal that says you're about to turn right.

This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk ... keep signaling and hope for an off-ramp, one of those uphill side-loops with a sign saying "Max Speed 25" ... and the trick, at this point, is to suddenly leave the freeway and take him into the chute at no less than 100 miles an hour.

He will lock his brakes about the same time you lock yours, but it will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180-degree turn at this speed ... but you will be ready for it, braced for the Gs and the fast heel-toe work, and with any luck at all you will have come to a complete stop off the road at the top of the turn and be standing beside your automobile by the time he catches up.

He will not be reasonable at first ... but no matter. Let him calm down. He will want the first word. Let him have it. His brain will be in a turmoil: he may begin jabbering, or even pull his gun. Let him unwind; keep smiling. The idea is to show him that you were always in total control of yourself and your vehicle - while he lost control of everything.


Follow up by saying something nasty about cops mom or spouse, they have a great sense of humor.
 
2022-11-28 11:19:47 AM  

medius: This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk ... keep signaling and hope for an off-ramp, one of those uphill side-loops with a sign saying "Max Speed 25" ... and the trick, at this point, is to suddenly leave the freeway and take him into the chute at no less than 100 miles an hour.

He will lock his brakes about the same time you lock yours, but it will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180-degree turn at this speed ... but you will be ready for it, braced for the Gs and the fast heel-toe work, and with any luck at all you will have come to a complete stop off the road at the top of the turn and be standing beside your automobile by the time he catches up.


When anyone tries that...
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-11-28 11:32:31 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-28 11:36:31 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-28 11:48:22 AM  

born_yesterday: If they don't chase you after a mile they don't chase you.

/Maybe it's three miles


Beeeg badaboom
 
2022-11-28 11:48:59 AM  

born_yesterday: If they don't chase you after a mile they don't chase you.

/Maybe it's three miles


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-28 12:12:43 PM  
Run like you stole something.

Walk casually away like you stole something.

Keep your head down and your nose clean like you stole something.
 
2022-11-28 3:33:59 PM  
it's New Hampshire and they're living free since the alternative is death.
 
2022-11-28 6:10:19 PM  
I don't get why they were pulled over.  They were doing just 7 mph over the I-93 speed limit sign.
 
2022-11-29 9:13:32 AM  

trezac: I don't get why they were pulled over.  They were doing just 7 mph over the I-93 speed limit sign.


Trying to think whether I've ever been on I-93 when traffic was light enough for me to do 93.

/definitely done 95 on 95, 90 on 90, 84 on 84, 91 on 91
//also 2 on 2, 3 on 3, 4 on 4, 24 on 24, 27 on 27, 40 on 40
///190, 290 and 495 are going to be a challenge
 
2022-11-29 5:18:11 PM  

Hills-Sachs_Legion: Run like you stole something.

Walk casually away like you stole something.

Keep your head down and your nose clean like you stole something.


Never run from anything immoral, it attracts their attention
 
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