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(Yahoo)   Pro-tip: If you kill someone and can't figure how to dispose of the body, don't ask for advice on Instagram   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Youth detention center, Crime, Murder, Homicide, COVID-19 booster, Biden administration urging people, 16-year-old Joshua Cooper, White House's Dr. Ashish Jha  
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2383 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2022 at 3:30 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-11-28 3:45:12 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-28 3:47:46 AM  
Seems more like a NextDoor type of post.
 
2022-11-28 3:48:07 AM  
No kidding Subby. She definitely should have gone with Tik-Tok and made a video. 
That will give her influencer status
 
2022-11-28 3:54:56 AM  
 
2022-11-28 4:00:45 AM  
Instagram has video chat?
 
2022-11-28 4:09:06 AM  
Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.
 
2022-11-28 4:15:14 AM  
I'm sure she won't be serving too much time because she only 16. Next time she won't be so stupid.
 
2022-11-28 4:22:17 AM  
Duh either caustic lye or a place that has feral hogs.
 
2022-11-28 4:24:16 AM  

daffy: I'm sure she won't be serving too much time because she only 16. Next time she won't be so stupid.


1) he

2) ftfa: The suspect, 16-year-old Joshua Cooper, is being charged as an adult for criminal homicide

#2 usually means they are trying for a longer sentence.
 
2022-11-28 4:33:29 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: daffy: I'm sure she won't be serving too much time because she only 16. Next time she won't be so stupid.

1) he

2) ftfa: The suspect, 16-year-old Joshua Cooper, is being charged as an adult for criminal homicide

#2 usually means they are trying for a longer sentence.


Can any of our local lawyers explain how this is even legal? Why have the adult/adolescent divide if you can just ignore it?
 
2022-11-28 4:37:58 AM  
If I kilk some what?
 
2022-11-28 4:38:41 AM  
billix0:

If I kill some what?
 
2022-11-28 4:38:55 AM  

Greil: ArcadianRefugee: daffy: I'm sure she won't be serving too much time because she only 16. Next time she won't be so stupid.

1) he

2) ftfa: The suspect, 16-year-old Joshua Cooper, is being charged as an adult for criminal homicide

#2 usually means they are trying for a longer sentence.

Can any of our local lawyers explain how this is even legal? Why have the adult/adolescent divide if you can just ignore it?


https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/juvenile-tried-as-an-adult.html
 
2022-11-28 4:44:10 AM  

My Sober Alt: Hydrofluoric acid (HF) is a solution of hydrogen fluoride in water. Hydrofluoric acid is a highly corrosive acid, capable of dissolving many materials...

[Fark user image image 299x169][Fark user image image 310x163]


Its not HF you want, it's Piranha Acid. Which does to organic materials precisely what the name suggests.
 
2022-11-28 4:51:12 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: [Fark user image 306x164]


well, i can't do any better than that
 
2022-11-28 4:54:13 AM  

erik-k: My Sober Alt: Hydrofluoric acid (HF) is a solution of hydrogen fluoride in water. Hydrofluoric acid is a highly corrosive acid, capable of dissolving many materials...

[Fark user image image 299x169][Fark user image image 310x163]

Its not HF you want, it's Piranha Acid. Which does to organic materials precisely what the name suggests.


Piranha Solution

The acid is aided by the other ingredient to be extra hoongray.

But you'd need a lot of it, somewhere nobody would notice the clouds of toxic smoke, something big enough to hold the body that the acid wouldn't eat, and a way to dispose of that much reacted solution all without raising and flags.

There's easier ways to get rid of a body quickly.

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


Just hope nobody suspects the catapult guy when a body comes crashing through their roof in the exact angle and trajectory their catapult would shoot it. Hose it off and turn it around quickly, maybe?
 
2022-11-28 5:02:40 AM  

Pugdaddyk: No kidding Subby. She definitely should have gone with Tik-Tok and made a video. 
That will give her influencer status


JFC...I based my comment on the preview photo. Dude looks like a lady. Sorry. 
That's a man, baby...or a baby man.
DNRTFA
 
2022-11-28 5:07:16 AM  

Greil: ArcadianRefugee: daffy: I'm sure she won't be serving too much time because she only 16. Next time she won't be so stupid.

1) he

2) ftfa: The suspect, 16-year-old Joshua Cooper, is being charged as an adult for criminal homicide

#2 usually means they are trying for a longer sentence.

Can any of our local lawyers explain how this is even legal? Why have the adult/adolescent divide if you can just ignore it?


I can't explain it, but am way against it. It's obscene.
 
2022-11-28 5:08:06 AM  

alechemist: Duh either caustic lye or a place that has feral hogs.


You also need a large pressure cooker for the caustic lye to be thorough.
 
2022-11-28 5:24:36 AM  
s.yimg.comView Full Size

I think we can agree the real crime are those things he put in his ears.  At 16 you can kill someone still put your life back together.  But those things are either permanent or you walk around with weirdly misshapen, flappy earlobes when you take them out for the rest of your life.
 
2022-11-28 5:28:04 AM  

Greil: ArcadianRefugee: daffy: I'm sure she won't be serving too much time because she only 16. Next time she won't be so stupid.

1) he

2) ftfa: The suspect, 16-year-old Joshua Cooper, is being charged as an adult for criminal homicide

#2 usually means they are trying for a longer sentence.

Can any of our local lawyers explain how this is even legal? Why have the adult/adolescent divide if you can just ignore it?


The general idea is to be able to provide flexibility for situations that are close to that dividing line. For example, there's no good reason to require a more lenient sentence for someone who killed someone the day before their 18th birthday as opposed to the day after.

There's also some notion that as juveniles they might not fully understand the consequences of their actions and thus shouldn't be punished as severely, but this can run into a paradox with violent crimes like 1st degree murder where premeditation is one of the elements of the law. (Basically it's hard to argue "I didn't know that would hurt them so you shouldn't punish me as harshly" when you explicitly planned to hurt them.)

That being said many jurisdictions have taken it well beyond these basic ideas. Florida, unsurprisingly, is pretty notorious - you can be tried as an adult as young as 14, and it's solely at the discretion of the prosecutor.
 
2022-11-28 5:34:59 AM  

Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.


I totally agree.

https://www.wbrz.com/news/officials-6-year-old-killed-parents-hurt-after-suspected-drunk-driver-caused-crash-in-east-feliciana-parish/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11469953/Drunk-driver-LAUGHED-causing-crash-killed-mother-two-jailed-eight-years.html

https://wwmt.com/news/local/mendon-six-month-old-boy-killed-crash-drunk-driving-michigan

And the list goes on...
 
2022-11-28 6:00:30 AM  

DeathByGeekSquad: Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.

I totally agree.

https://www.wbrz.com/news/officials-6-year-old-killed-parents-hurt-after-suspected-drunk-driver-caused-crash-in-east-feliciana-parish/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11469953/Drunk-driver-LAUGHED-causing-crash-killed-mother-two-jailed-eight-years.html

https://wwmt.com/news/local/mendon-six-month-old-boy-killed-crash-drunk-driving-michigan

And the list goes on...


Vehicles?

You seem to be having some difficulty ascertaining the subject of the thread
 
2022-11-28 6:00:32 AM  

leeksfromchichis: erik-k: My Sober Alt: Hydrofluoric acid (HF) is a solution of hydrogen fluoride in water. Hydrofluoric acid is a highly corrosive acid, capable of dissolving many materials...

[Fark user image image 299x169][Fark user image image 310x163]

Its not HF you want, it's Piranha Acid. Which does to organic materials precisely what the name suggests.

Piranha Solution

The acid is aided by the other ingredient to be extra hoongray.

But you'd need a lot of it, somewhere nobody would notice the clouds of toxic smoke, something big enough to hold the body that the acid wouldn't eat, and a way to dispose of that much reacted solution all without raising and flags.

There's easier ways to get rid of a body quickly.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 450x360]

Just hope nobody suspects the catapult guy when a body comes crashing through their roof in the exact angle and trajectory their catapult would shoot it. Hose it off and turn it around quickly, maybe?


I still say we should have been catapulting dead covid victims through McConnell's windows.

Every half hour, there's the sound of glass breaking and thwump as the body hits a wall, then the floor.

It's legitimate political discourse!
 
2022-11-28 6:02:10 AM  

ViolentEastCoastCity: leeksfromchichis: erik-k: My Sober Alt: Hydrofluoric acid (HF) is a solution of hydrogen fluoride in water. Hydrofluoric acid is a highly corrosive acid, capable of dissolving many materials...

[Fark user image image 299x169][Fark user image image 310x163]

Its not HF you want, it's Piranha Acid. Which does to organic materials precisely what the name suggests.

Piranha Solution

The acid is aided by the other ingredient to be extra hoongray.

But you'd need a lot of it, somewhere nobody would notice the clouds of toxic smoke, something big enough to hold the body that the acid wouldn't eat, and a way to dispose of that much reacted solution all without raising and flags.

There's easier ways to get rid of a body quickly.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 450x360]

Just hope nobody suspects the catapult guy when a body comes crashing through their roof in the exact angle and trajectory their catapult would shoot it. Hose it off and turn it around quickly, maybe?

I still say we should have been catapulting dead covid victims through McConnell's windows.

Every half hour, there's the sound of glass breaking and thwump as the body hits a wall, then the floor.

It's legitimate political discourse!


Surely we would have run out of windows relatively quickly
 
2022-11-28 6:02:38 AM  

qorkfiend: Greil: ArcadianRefugee: daffy: I'm sure she won't be serving too much time because she only 16. Next time she won't be so stupid.

1) he

2) ftfa: The suspect, 16-year-old Joshua Cooper, is being charged as an adult for criminal homicide

#2 usually means they are trying for a longer sentence.

Can any of our local lawyers explain how this is even legal? Why have the adult/adolescent divide if you can just ignore it?

The general idea is to be able to provide flexibility for situations that are close to that dividing line. For example, there's no good reason to require a more lenient sentence for someone who killed someone the day before their 18th birthday as opposed to the day after.

There's also some notion that as juveniles they might not fully understand the consequences of their actions and thus shouldn't be punished as severely, but this can run into a paradox with violent crimes like 1st degree murder where premeditation is one of the elements of the law. (Basically it's hard to argue "I didn't know that would hurt them so you shouldn't punish me as harshly" when you explicitly planned to hurt them.)

That being said many jurisdictions have taken it well beyond these basic ideas. Florida, unsurprisingly, is pretty notorious - you can be tried as an adult as young as 14, and it's solely at the discretion of the prosecutor.


You'd have to do it two days before your birthday.  The law believes that a day begun is a day done.

/themoreyouknow.tif
 
2022-11-28 6:05:05 AM  

qorkfiend: ViolentEastCoastCity: leeksfromchichis: erik-k: My Sober Alt: Hydrofluoric acid (HF) is a solution of hydrogen fluoride in water. Hydrofluoric acid is a highly corrosive acid, capable of dissolving many materials...

[Fark user image image 299x169][Fark user image image 310x163]

Its not HF you want, it's Piranha Acid. Which does to organic materials precisely what the name suggests.

Piranha Solution

The acid is aided by the other ingredient to be extra hoongray.

But you'd need a lot of it, somewhere nobody would notice the clouds of toxic smoke, something big enough to hold the body that the acid wouldn't eat, and a way to dispose of that much reacted solution all without raising and flags.

There's easier ways to get rid of a body quickly.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 450x360]

Just hope nobody suspects the catapult guy when a body comes crashing through their roof in the exact angle and trajectory their catapult would shoot it. Hose it off and turn it around quickly, maybe?

I still say we should have been catapulting dead covid victims through McConnell's windows.

Every half hour, there's the sound of glass breaking and thwump as the body hits a wall, then the floor.

It's legitimate political discourse!

Surely we would have run out of windows relatively quickly


We can move on to other GQP dipsh*ts til McConnell gets his windows replaced, then it's back to his house.

I have a newsletter if you're interested.
 
2022-11-28 6:30:19 AM  

Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.


what would you have done? I'm guessing keeping locks on the firearms in the home would have been a start.
 
2022-11-28 6:44:39 AM  
This is Joshua? Looks more like a Jane or  Jennifer or maybe a Jolene. I think he may have some
gender identity problems. NTTAWWT.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-28 7:13:02 AM  

LordBeavis: [s.yimg.com image 608x342]
I think we can agree the real crime are those things he put in his ears.  At 16 you can kill someone still put your life back together.  But those things are either permanent or you walk around with weirdly misshapen, flappy earlobes when you take them out for the rest of your life.


this was discussed the other day in an unrelated thread about an article stating that a man had been shot multiple times yet sustained no injuries.

The best answer was that he must have had large gauge ear piercings that the bullets passed through.

/it's a bit early if this doesn't make sense, seemed like a very plausible answer at the time.
 
2022-11-28 7:40:23 AM  

sinko swimo: Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.

what would you have done? I'm guessing keeping locks on the firearms in the home would have been a start.


I posted 3 sentences about it on the internet, duh.

What, am I supposed to do another thing?
 
2022-11-28 7:41:47 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: [Fark user image 306x164]


NECRO - "DEAD BODY DISPOSAL"
Youtube eggkoN8n-sA
 
2022-11-28 7:51:36 AM  

Andric: sinko swimo: Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.

what would you have done? I'm guessing keeping locks on the firearms in the home would have been a start.

I posted 3 sentences about it on the internet, duh.

What, am I supposed to do another thing?


Invent a time machine, go back and fix it.
And pick me up some rally bars
 
2022-11-28 7:59:31 AM  

Pugdaddyk: Pugdaddyk: No kidding Subby. She definitely should have gone with Tik-Tok and made a video. 
That will give her influencer status

JFC...I based my comment on the preview photo. Dude looks like a lady. Sorry. 
That's a man, baby...or a baby man.
DNRTFA


Fark user imageView Full Size

Getting bill vibes
 
2022-11-28 8:02:11 AM  
As a writer who researched for possible murder mysteries:

1. Cut open chest cavity.
2. Fill torso with large rocks and lye.
3. Sew chest closed. Wrap body in gauze and natural fiber linens with more lye between skin and gauze.
4. Get a small, untraceable boat (rowboat, motorboat, pontoon, whatever) and load up the body.
5. Go out as far into the water as you feel comfortable going, to as deep as you can handle in your vessel.
6. Tip body out into the depths. The rocks will ensure it sinks. The lye will dissolve the body from within. The sea life will take care of the rest.
7. Go back to shore and burn the boat and your clothing. Cleanse prep & crime area with bleach or outright replace tiles and carpets (burn those, too). Anything that touched the body or fluids is to be destroyed, utterly.
8. Wait a week, then start planning that trip to Disneyland Paris.

Method Two:

1. Be very famous and rich.
2. Just don't get caught with the knife in your hand.
3. Throw lots of money at the police and courts.
4. Vacation in Paris.
 
2022-11-28 8:07:23 AM  
When I bought my place I was glad it came with a big wooded area in the back so I would have a space for the hooker cemetery.
 
2022-11-28 8:11:25 AM  

qorkfiend: DeathByGeekSquad: Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.

I totally agree.

https://www.wbrz.com/news/officials-6-year-old-killed-parents-hurt-after-suspected-drunk-driver-caused-crash-in-east-feliciana-parish/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11469953/Drunk-driver-LAUGHED-causing-crash-killed-mother-two-jailed-eight-years.html

https://wwmt.com/news/local/mendon-six-month-old-boy-killed-crash-drunk-driving-michigan

And the list goes on...

Vehicles?

You seem to be having some difficulty ascertaining the subject of the thread


Alcohol, and the morons who drive drunk.  How many times have you driven after having a 1-3 and self-determined you were 'fine to drive'?
 
2022-11-28 8:13:52 AM  

My Sober Alt: Hydrofluoric acid (HF) is a solution of hydrogen fluoride in water. Hydrofluoric acid is a highly corrosive acid, capable of dissolving many materials...

[Fark user image image 299x169][Fark user image image 310x163]


You want to use strong bases not something that'll kill you if you get a single drop on your skin. 90% of the chemistry in Breaking Bad is complete bullshiat.
 
2022-11-28 8:13:55 AM  
Wow I mean getting a shovel out of the garage and taking a quick trip to the woods is a bit complicated. Always good to check on Instagram first for these kinds of problems.
 
2022-11-28 8:15:05 AM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: Seems more like a NextDoor type of post.


Should ask on Ring, since it probably recorded the whole thing anyway ;P
 
2022-11-28 9:00:37 AM  

vudukungfu: Andric: sinko swimo: Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.

what would you have done? I'm guessing keeping locks on the firearms in the home would have been a start.

I posted 3 sentences about it on the internet, duh.

What, am I supposed to do another thing?

Invent a time machine, go back and fix it.
And pick me up some rally bars


I'm working on it, but I keep spending my plutonium fund on booze. :(
 
2022-11-28 9:30:35 AM  

some_beer_drinker: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: [Fark user image 306x164]

well, i can't do any better than that


Yep, we're done here. Subby, turn off the lights when you have removed the teeth.
 
2022-11-28 9:54:47 AM  

Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.


16 year olds aren't legally allowed to own handguns in most states right?
 
2022-11-28 8:26:56 PM  

groppet: When I bought my place I was glad it came with a big wooded area in the back so I would have a space for the hooker cemetery.


The ground is sour
 
2022-11-28 8:28:32 PM  

erik-k: My Sober Alt: Hydrofluoric acid (HF) is a solution of hydrogen fluoride in water. Hydrofluoric acid is a highly corrosive acid, capable of dissolving many materials...

[Fark user image image 299x169][Fark user image image 310x163]

Its not HF you want, it's Piranha Acid. Which does to organic materials precisely what the name suggests.


Thanks for the tip. I'm reminded of a joke my grandfather used to tell sometimes.

How do you say "Goodbye" in any language?

H2SO4
 
2022-11-28 9:20:50 PM  

Steakzilla: Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.

16 year olds aren't legally allowed to own handguns in most states right?


This is a good point. I guess everything is fine!
 
2022-11-28 9:50:37 PM  

Andric: Steakzilla: Andric: Totally makes sense that such a moron should have the power to murder with such ease, and that we should be so unwilling and unable to take literally any steps to discourage this. I am 100% sure this is as the founding fathers intended.

16 year olds aren't legally allowed to own handguns in most states right?

This is a good point. I guess everything is fine!


well, you made a point in reference to the article that was based on an incorrect idea that the kid legally owned the handgun.  Depending on the state you might be able to buy one at 18 but many states limit this to 21.  Age restrictions for purchase definitely do discourage minors from getting guns.

So you either you don't know basic gun laws or your lie about them.  I'm not sure which is worse but it'd be nice to know which category you fit in.
 
2022-11-28 11:46:43 PM  
ProTip: Know where you're going to stash the body before the murder.
 
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