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(KIRO-7 Seattle)   Reasons to file a lawsuit in Florida: 1) Your Burmese python was tagged with graffiti, 2) Unavailability of mobility scooters during your road rage event, 3) Your macaroni and cheese was improperly labelled 'ready in 3 1/2 minutes'   (kiro7.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Plaintiff, Processed cheese, class-action lawsuit, Fraud, Equity, Amanda Ramirez, Law, U.S. state  
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2978 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2022 at 6:20 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-11-26 2:46:02 PM  
All 3, but for brevity's sake....
 
2022-11-26 3:19:04 PM  
Welp, I guess that's another oddly specific warning that needs to be added to the packaging.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-26 4:21:57 PM  
And of course, some giuliani-for-brains lawyer took the case
 
2022-11-26 5:08:48 PM  

f150: And of course, some giuliani-for-brains lawyer took the case


It has been over 25 years since I took torts in law school but the one thing I remember is false advertising plus class action equals real money for the attorneys if they succeed. In cases like this the lawyers generally don't get paid unless they win. Someone in some law firm decided this was a worthy investment.
 
2022-11-26 6:12:42 PM  
Velveeta just has to trot out a few folks that like their shells on the crunchy side, and make fun of the plaintiff for liking mushy food.
 
2022-11-26 6:22:28 PM  
#3 has a much better chance to pay off for the lawyer.
 
2022-11-26 6:22:53 PM  
Every product lies about cooking time. It's so stupid. Maybe suing them will stop the lying.
 
2022-11-26 6:23:28 PM  
can I sue that website design?
 
2022-11-26 6:23:35 PM  

OdradekRex: Velveeta just has to trot out a few folks that like their shells on the crunchy side, and make fun of the plaintiff for liking mushy food.


Lol. I now want this to happen!
 
2022-11-26 6:25:19 PM  

Russ1642: Every product lies about cooking time. It's so stupid. Maybe suing them will stop the lying.


NIST should sell a standard microwave that they can use to calculate that. They sell "standard" peanut butter after all.
 
2022-11-26 6:26:24 PM  
she's going to sue them again because there is no warning about shoving molten hot cheese products up her ass, like so many people are suggesting she should do
 
2022-11-26 6:28:43 PM  
Normally I'm inclined to side against a corporation, but this is basically the dumbest reason to sue.
 
2022-11-26 6:30:31 PM  
I'll be honest. I'm ok with done it these. It keeps companies honest.  The realty is people _do_ spend their money based on these claims and they deserve then to be true.
 
2022-11-26 6:32:40 PM  
Eleven bucks for mac and cheese in a box? The obvious answer is "don't buy it."

I didn't buy it when it was 53 cents.
 
2022-11-26 6:36:54 PM  
One day many moons ago, I received a letter for a class action lawsuit where I didn't know I was a plaintiff.

Apparently, I used a mail in rebate on some computer product.

I got a hot cocoa sampler pack coupon for a future purchase from that company.

The law firm got tens of millions of dollars.
 
2022-11-26 6:37:04 PM  

gyorg: I'm ok with done it these.


Me too.
 
2022-11-26 6:39:35 PM  
Honestly, I see all three of those as plausible Florida scenarios.
 
2022-11-26 6:41:29 PM  

WastrelWay: Eleven bucks for mac and cheese in a box? The obvious answer is "don't buy it."

I didn't buy it when it was 53 cents.


That's the price for a 12 pack. And you ant even getting store brand mac n cheese for 53 cents anymore. Hell, a box of their regular shells and cheese is $3.50 now.
 
2022-11-26 6:41:33 PM  

OdradekRex: Velveeta just has to trot out a few folks that like their shells on the crunchy side, and make fun of the plaintiff for liking mushy food.


Also . Microwave directions always say times vary and are based on Microwave wattage.
 
2022-11-26 6:42:12 PM  
Accordin' to the Wall St. Journal we got here the hottest selling yogurt Macaroni and Cheese in the country. I bring this in, say my hair fell out from the shock. BOOM! They pay off big time. My lawyer thinks it's a genius idea.

(Your lawyer has an office over a video store.)
Fark user imageView Full Size
Call me a dreamer. I don't wanna be a bouncer forever.
 
2022-11-26 6:43:06 PM  

themindiswatching: Russ1642: Every product lies about cooking time. It's so stupid. Maybe suing them will stop the lying.

NIST should sell a standard microwave that they can use to calculate that. They sell "standard" peanut butter after all.


Did we see the exact same youtube vid about 1000 buck peanut butter? And was it very recently?
 
2022-11-26 6:43:55 PM  
The fact that the average American has no farking clue how to make a simple dish like macaroni and cheese is exactly why future Americans will wind up being nothing more than fat cretins eating their own feces, ultra-processed and sold back to them as "fud" in a sippy cup
 
2022-11-26 6:45:54 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: The fact that the average American has no farking clue how to make a simple dish like macaroni and cheese is exactly why future Americans will wind up being nothing more than fat cretins eating their own feces, ultra-processed and sold back to them as "fud" in a sippy cup


That would have no nutritional value.  WTF?
 
2022-11-26 6:47:24 PM  

waxbeans: The Exit Stencilist: The fact that the average American has no farking clue how to make a simple dish like macaroni and cheese is exactly why future Americans will wind up being nothing more than fat cretins eating their own feces, ultra-processed and sold back to them as "fud" in a sippy cup

That would have no nutritional value.  WTF?


Oh I'm sorry. Vitamin fortified with Soylent!
Happy now?
 
2022-11-26 6:48:27 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: The fact that the average American has no farking clue how to make a simple dish like macaroni and cheese is exactly why future Americans will wind up being nothing more than fat cretins eating their own feces, ultra-processed and sold back to them as "fud" in a sippy cup


Welcome to first generation space travel.
 
2022-11-26 6:50:35 PM  
Good. It's time customers stood up for themselves. I'm tired of corporations lying all the time.

/Microsoft recently sent out an email saying they were going to improve MS 365 by removing services

//A business nearby advertises "a broad range of pet cremation services" when in fact they offer one disposal system - dissolving the pet in chemicals, dumping the dissolved remains down the drain, then grinding the bones that are left into "ash"

/// Third slashie is wondering why his burger and fries looks nothing like the photos behind the cashier
 
2022-11-26 6:51:26 PM  
Well, she better have some money, because Kraft-Heinz is going to get attorney fees out of this, and I'm guessing their attorneys aren't cheap.
 
2022-11-26 6:52:03 PM  

wingedkat: Normally I'm inclined to side against a corporation, but this is basically the dumbest reason to sue.


What method would you suggest to get them to fix the false statement on their label? Do you think you can just call up corporate and have a reasonable and logical discussion with the weasels in their marketing dept? Or do you think corporations should be able to print any favorable fantasy they want and screw truth in labeling?

All they have to do is change the wording to say 3.5 min cook time instead of ready in 3.5 min. Good luck getting them to change that without a class action lawsuit. The govt isn't going to do it.
 
2022-11-26 6:53:56 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: waxbeans: The Exit Stencilist: The fact that the average American has no farking clue how to make a simple dish like macaroni and cheese is exactly why future Americans will wind up being nothing more than fat cretins eating their own feces, ultra-processed and sold back to them as "fud" in a sippy cup

That would have no nutritional value.  WTF?

Oh I'm sorry. Vitamin fortified with Soylent!
Happy now?


Man, can't even have some l-arginine, l-citrulline, and l-citrulline, and don't forget caffeine and l-theanine. Wait. And poppy seed. And kratom. All sweetened with stevia. And don't forget CBD and THC.
 
2022-11-26 6:55:42 PM  

SUMMERSN0WS: Good. It's time customers stood up for themselves. I'm tired of corporations lying all the time.

/Microsoft recently sent out an email saying they were going to improve MS 365 by removing services

//A business nearby advertises "a broad range of pet cremation services" when in fact they offer one disposal system - dissolving the pet in chemicals, dumping the dissolved remains down the drain, then grinding the bones that are left into "ash"

/// Third slashie is wondering why his burger and fries looks nothing like the photos behind the cashier


This.

Free and no extra cost don't mean the same thing and it should be illegal to say free when you mean no additional cost.
 
2022-11-26 7:00:37 PM  

f150: And of course, some giuliani-for-brains lawyer took the case


Here they are:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-26 7:02:46 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: The fact that the average American has no farking clue how to make a simple dish like macaroni and cheese is exactly why future Americans will wind up being nothing more than fat cretins eating their own feces, ultra-processed and sold back to them as "fud" in a sippy cup


Not liking to cook is not the same as not knowing how to cook. I can do home made mac and cheese and have done so several times. I prefer buying the Kraft kind or even frozen mac and cheese because I hate cooking.
 
2022-11-26 7:05:04 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: The fact that the average American has no farking clue how to make a simple dish like macaroni and cheese is exactly why future Americans will wind up being nothing more than fat cretins eating their own feces, ultra-processed and sold back to them as "fud" in a sippy cup


It's not that we don't know how to make mac and cheese. It's that we don't have time.

We work two jobs, help our kids with homework, and keep the house maintained enough so the HOA doesn't put a lien on it. In our spare time we're on the phone with utilities companies, insurance companies, and other "job creators" trying to get them to fix account errors that are always in their favor.
 
2022-11-26 7:05:04 PM  

waxbeans: themindiswatching: Russ1642: Every product lies about cooking time. It's so stupid. Maybe suing them will stop the lying.

NIST should sell a standard microwave that they can use to calculate that. They sell "standard" peanut butter after all.

Did we see the exact same youtube vid about 1000 buck peanut butter? And was it very recently?


Possibly?

The world depends on a strange collection of items. They're not cheap
Youtube esQyYGezS7c
 
2022-11-26 7:05:49 PM  

gyorg: I'll be honest. I'm ok with done it these. It keeps companies honest.  The realty is people _do_ spend their money based on these claims and they deserve then to be true.


I agreed with her until I saw she wanted $5 million in compensation.
 
2022-11-26 7:07:46 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Are you sure about the 3/12 minutes?!
 
2022-11-26 7:09:57 PM  

themindiswatching: waxbeans: themindiswatching: Russ1642: Every product lies about cooking time. It's so stupid. Maybe suing them will stop the lying.

NIST should sell a standard microwave that they can use to calculate that. They sell "standard" peanut butter after all.

Did we see the exact same youtube vid about 1000 buck peanut butter? And was it very recently?

Possibly?

[YouTube video: The world depends on a strange collection of items. They're not cheap]


Yep. I saw it very very very recently.  🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
 
2022-11-26 7:12:55 PM  

MindStalker: gyorg: I'll be honest. I'm ok with done it these. It keeps companies honest.  The realty is people _do_ spend their money based on these claims and they deserve then to be true.

I agreed with her until I saw she wanted $5 million in compensation.


Well losing 10 bucks, 100, 100K isn't even going to get their attention.  Hell. Will 5 million make them change their crap?
You don't like lawsuits? Set a company that can at as a union for consumers.  So they can hold strikes. Otherwise you're saying do nothing ever about lying fark face companies that we are slaves to.
Why?
 
2022-11-26 7:13:32 PM  
Her boss probably only allows her 10 minutes for lunch, and she was thinking she would have 6 1/2 minutes to eat.
 
2022-11-26 7:14:49 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: The fact that the average American has no farking clue how to make a simple dish like macaroni and cheese is exactly why future Americans will wind up being nothing more than fat cretins eating their own feces, ultra-processed and sold back to them as "fud" in a sippy cup


Don't care, I'll never give up my blue box powdered cheese monstrosity.
 
2022-11-26 7:18:06 PM  

themindiswatching: Welp, I guess that's another oddly specific warning that needs to be added to the packaging.

[Fark user image 460x457]


Because of me, now there's a warning.
 
2022-11-26 7:22:07 PM  

gyorg: I'll be honest. I'm ok with done it these. It keeps companies honest.  The realty is people _do_ spend their money based on these claims and they deserve then to be true.


Everyone who's cooked anything in a microwave knows cooking times vary based on wattage, which can range anywhere from 500 - 1500 watts, she likely has a cheap low wattage one.

Mine is 1200 watts, most things cook quicker than the package instructions say. I guess I should be able to sue Orville Redenbacher because their listed 4 minutes always gives me burnt popcorn.
 
2022-11-26 7:25:23 PM  

themindiswatching: Welp, I guess that's another oddly specific warning that needs to be added to the packaging.

[Fark user image image 460x457]


I wish someone had told me!

Won't be making that mistake again!
 
2022-11-26 7:26:40 PM  
Screw the mac n cheese. I want to know more about the graffiti on the snakes
 
2022-11-26 7:29:43 PM  

themindiswatching: waxbeans: themindiswatching: Russ1642: Every product lies about cooking time. It's so stupid. Maybe suing them will stop the lying.

NIST should sell a standard microwave that they can use to calculate that. They sell "standard" peanut butter after all.

Did we see the exact same youtube vid about 1000 buck peanut butter? And was it very recently?

Possibly?

[YouTube video: The world depends on a strange collection of items. They're not cheap]


"A crap-load."

That video was fascinating. Thanks for posting.
 
2022-11-26 7:34:41 PM  

ReapTheChaos: gyorg: I'll be honest. I'm ok with done it these. It keeps companies honest.  The realty is people _do_ spend their money based on these claims and they deserve then to be true.

Everyone who's cooked anything in a microwave knows cooking times vary based on wattage, which can range anywhere from 500 - 1500 watts, she likely has a cheap low wattage one.

Mine is 1200 watts, most things cook quicker than the package instructions say. I guess I should be able to sue Orville Redenbacher because their listed 4 minutes always gives me burnt popcorn.


The lawsuit isn't about how long it takes to microwave. It's that in addition to the 3 1/2 minutes it spends in the microwave, there are also additional steps to preparing it. Steps which take additional time.
 
2022-11-26 7:38:09 PM  
MC Frontalot - First World Problem [OFFICIAL VIDEO]
Youtube M3w1_E1V46M
 
2022-11-26 7:38:32 PM  
The time-consuming other steps are remove lid, add water, and stir in powdered simulated cheese substance, so maybe another whole minute if you're really slow. It's hard to see how this injury rises to the level of millions in damages.
 
2022-11-26 7:45:08 PM  

FishSlap: Her boss probably only allows her 10 minutes for lunch, and she was thinking she would have 6 1/2 minutes to eat.


My job gives us 30 minutes. That doesn't include transit time (often, the break room is a good distance away from work stations) or time before/after to wash up. After touching bunches of people I wash my arms up to my elbows before lunch. Then, we have the problem of not enough microwave ovens if they send multiple people to lunch at the same time. I've repeatedly told them to stagger people going to lunch by 5 minutes so no one has to wait to use a microwave. Sometimes you will be about 15-20 minutes into your meal break before you could even get your food into a microwave oven.

A long time ago, my manager put his food in the microwave oven and then punched out for his meal break when the microwave started cooking the food. As the union steward at my job, I told my people to do the same - lunch does not begin until you food is in the microwave oven.
 
2022-11-26 7:46:35 PM  

revrendjim: stir in powdered simulated cheese substance


The Velveeta cups have a cheese sauce, not a powder.
 
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