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(Whiskey Raiders)   Alex Jones is releasing a new bourbon whisky called "Conspiracy". No word if it's the same stuff he downs a couple of quarts of just before going on the air every day   (whiskeyraiders.com) divider line
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    More: Facepalm, Conspiracy theory, whiskey news, controversial Alex Jones, new spirits labels, own whiskey brand, Whisky, Label, conspiracy theories  
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486 clicks; posted to Business » on 26 Nov 2022 at 3:14 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
snocone [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 11:06:19 AM  
Gonna have to pay that fine somehow.
How about with gun sales?
 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 11:17:03 AM  
Mmmm mmmm bathtub bourbon.
 
Madison_Smiled [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 11:24:00 AM  
Let him drink himself to death with it.

/and that right quick
 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 11:30:35 AM  
It's 80% methanol.
 
cretinbob [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 11:49:18 AM  
Fine, more money for his victims.
 
ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 11:57:53 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's 80% methanol.


And 20% menthol.
 
FlashHarry [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 11:59:57 AM  
Spoiler alert: It's vodka.
 
no1curr [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 12:01:47 PM  

FlashHarry: Spoiler alert: It's vodka.


An brown toilet water for color and "flavor"
 
Exile On Beale Street [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 12:24:28 PM  
So Sterno?
 
Somaticasual [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 12:26:06 PM  
On the plus side, Profits go to the plaintiffs....
 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 12:41:44 PM  

Somaticasual: On the plus side, Profits go to the plaintiffs....


I'm sure the structure will avoid doing any of that.
 
Private_Citizen [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 12:53:30 PM  
It's made by a real conspiracy theorist, and contains a hand selected blend of his hatred and crazy. It goes down smoothly, but taste testers have noticed it has a Seriously nasty follow-up. Just look at this video of a recent taste tester who drank some:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
SpaceMonkey-66 [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 12:59:45 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's 80% methanol.

And 20% menthol.


And smells and tastes like ripe ass....
 
Jake Havechek [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 1:43:51 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
beezeltown [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 3:33:58 PM  
Tasting notes
Color: caramel mixed with steam cleaning dirty water
Nose: automotive workshop mixed with octagenarian farmer's underwear
Taste: flop-sweat, cabbage, McDonald's fry grease, burning rubber, desperation
Body: greasy, bovine fecal residue
Character: none discernible

Conclusion: this is rejected floor wax  mixed with acetone.
 
jso2897
2022-11-26 3:51:29 PM  

Somaticasual: On the plus side, Profits go to the plaintiffs....


HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!

No.
 
fat boy
2022-11-26 3:54:45 PM  
Filtered thru Steve Bannon's skivvies
 
Ken VeryBigLiar
2022-11-26 3:58:07 PM  
I'm willing to take a chance on some whiskeys with a higher price tag but $60 for something barely aged long enough to qualify as bourbon, from a sketchy source and one of the most dubious faces imaginable hawking it... hard pass. Although there are no shortage of criminals and sketchy bastards in whiskey history.
 
alechemist [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 4:26:37 PM  
So Kentucky Gentlemen with a 80 percent markup?
 
zeroflight222
2022-11-26 4:43:04 PM  

Ken VeryBigLiar: I'm willing to take a chance on some whiskeys with a higher price tag but $60 for something barely aged long enough to qualify as bourbon, from a sketchy source and one of the most dubious faces imaginable hawking it... hard pass. Although there are no shortage of criminals and sketchy bastards in whiskey history.


Young... just like the victims.
 
Vacation Bible School
2022-11-26 4:45:57 PM  

Ken VeryBigLiar: I'm willing to take a chance on some whiskeys with a higher price tag but $60 for something barely aged long enough to qualify as bourbon, from a sketchy source and one of the most dubious faces imaginable hawking it... hard pass. Although there are no shortage of criminals and sketchy bastards in whiskey history.


Is there a distillery that whitelabels for Kirkland or something that he could just slap his name on, like every other product he sells?
 
Psychopompous
2022-11-26 4:46:12 PM  
"Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?"
Dr. Strangelove - Water Fluoridation
Youtube Qr2bSL5VQgM
 
fredbox [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 4:53:33 PM  
There must be some way to seize the actual rights out from under him, so the money goes to the plaintiffs but without crediting his liability to them.
 
Ken VeryBigLiar
2022-11-26 4:57:10 PM  

Vacation Bible School: Ken VeryBigLiar: I'm willing to take a chance on some whiskeys with a higher price tag but $60 for something barely aged long enough to qualify as bourbon, from a sketchy source and one of the most dubious faces imaginable hawking it... hard pass. Although there are no shortage of criminals and sketchy bastards in whiskey history.

Is there a distillery that whitelabels for Kirkland or something that he could just slap his name on, like every other product he sells?


Barton 1792 did Kirkland's labels not sure if they want to ruin a good thing getting into bed with this putz. This reeks of Alex Jones looking around for another hot product to get in on and he landed on bourbon so he did it as half-assed as possible to get it to market.
 
HighlanderRPI
2022-11-26 5:05:56 PM  

alechemist: So Kentucky Gentlemen with a 80 percent markup?


More like Thunderbird with 1488% markup
 
Psychopompous
2022-11-26 5:20:59 PM  

HighlanderRPI: alechemist: So Kentucky Gentlemen with a 80 percent markup?

More like Thunderbird with 1488% markup


What's the Word, Thunderbird
Youtube W_Z3nsj0Evk
 
Harry Wagstaff
2022-11-26 6:02:54 PM  
Pairs well with dick pills and potato buckets!
 
Private_Citizen [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 6:26:43 PM  

beezeltown: Tasting notes
Color: caramel mixed with steam cleaning dirty water
Nose: automotive workshop mixed with octagenarian farmer's underwear
Taste: flop-sweat, cabbage, McDonald's fry grease, burning rubber, desperation
Body: greasy, bovine fecal residue
Character: none discernible

Conclusion: this is rejected floor wax  mixed with acetone.


I'm betting this is close to right. At the moment, it's not even clear who's brewing hooch for the human underwear skid mark known as Alex Jones - but it's almost certainly a crappy brewery.
 
twistedsteel5252
2022-11-26 6:57:12 PM  
Awwwww subby you missed it, it should have been "... all the quarts he drinks before going to courts".
 
phedex
2022-11-26 7:11:02 PM  
Hmm.   Evan williams for 13$ or this... geeze.  such a tough decision.
 
TabASlotB
2022-11-26 7:15:23 PM  
It'll be great for mocktails because, like Alex Jones, it has no proof.
 
Ken VeryBigLiar
2022-11-26 7:18:06 PM  

Private_Citizen: beezeltown: Tasting notes
Color: caramel mixed with steam cleaning dirty water
Nose: automotive workshop mixed with octagenarian farmer's underwear
Taste: flop-sweat, cabbage, McDonald's fry grease, burning rubber, desperation
Body: greasy, bovine fecal residue
Character: none discernible

Conclusion: this is rejected floor wax  mixed with acetone.

I'm betting this is close to right. At the moment, it's not even clear who's brewing hooch for the human underwear skid mark known as Alex Jones - but it's almost certainly a crappy brewery.


One rumored person involved might be known to people in Louisville Matthew Landan who is more than a little 'eww'.
 
phimuskapsi [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 7:20:12 PM  
I'm waiting to find out who the distiller is, once I do I will not be purchasing any of their label.

Slightly worried it's Bulleit but their owner typically shies away from controversy.
 
Gordon Bennett [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-26 8:19:31 PM  
Conspiracy Bourbon is aged a minimum of 2 years, and bottled by an LLC in Shelbyville, Kentucky.

I'll die before I drink a bourbon from Shelbyville. It's Springfield bourbon for me or nothing.
 
sinko swimo
2022-11-26 10:03:39 PM  
meanwhile, in reality, all sorts of morans will crack out their credit card and make Christmas gifts out of this. it's sad, because that POS is going to make coin on this. the devil's minions always have a good day.
 
Magorn [TotalFark]
2022-11-26 11:11:28 PM  

Vacation Bible School: Ken VeryBigLiar: I'm willing to take a chance on some whiskeys with a higher price tag but $60 for something barely aged long enough to qualify as bourbon, from a sketchy source and one of the most dubious faces imaginable hawking it... hard pass. Although there are no shortage of criminals and sketchy bastards in whiskey history.

Is there a distillery that whitelabels for Kirkland or something that he could just slap his name on, like every other product he sells?


Yes, him and nearly every other large-label booze in America, it's called DIageo.   They distill on an industrial scale and create a lot of "grain neutral spirits"  to which they will add color and flavor and slap your label on the outside
 
Decorus
2022-11-27 1:31:34 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Somaticasual: On the plus side, Profits go to the plaintiffs....

I'm sure the structure will avoid doing any of that.


Yeah there is no structure that does that. Ask OJ. The only reason OJ has money are his retirement funds that are untouchable.
 
Decorus
2022-11-27 1:32:30 AM  

Vacation Bible School: Ken VeryBigLiar: I'm willing to take a chance on some whiskeys with a higher price tag but $60 for something barely aged long enough to qualify as bourbon, from a sketchy source and one of the most dubious faces imaginable hawking it... hard pass. Although there are no shortage of criminals and sketchy bastards in whiskey history.

Is there a distillery that whitelabels for Kirkland or something that he could just slap his name on, like every other product he sells?


Yes.
 
I want that sauce Morty!
2022-11-27 6:30:10 AM  
I would've called it "None Dare Call it Bourbon Whiskey."
 
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