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(Guardian)   The rise and fall of dating apps. Hopefully nobody matched with the Spiders from Mars   (theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Speed dating, As You Like It, Dating system, dating apps, benefits of dating, posh people, Dating, 2006 albums  
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3984 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2022 at 10:20 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



213 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-11-26 10:23:18 AM  
Jim Stafford - Spiders & Snakes (Music Video 720p)
Youtube P8H4XKwat7s
 
2022-11-26 10:24:52 AM  
They played it left-hand but took it too far?
 
2022-11-26 10:25:39 AM  
You know what's a fun dating app? A bar, an airplane, or a place of worship. Make some bad decisions and accumulate life experiences and stories.
 
2022-11-26 10:26:31 AM  

Ragin' Asian: You know what's a fun dating app? A bar, an airplane, or a place of worship. Make some bad decisions and accumulate life experiences and stories.


Those are all wretched. Unless you also sell Amway or are a master of ladder theory
 
2022-11-26 10:28:27 AM  

Ragin' Asian: You know what's a fun dating app? A bar, an airplane, or a place of worship. Make some bad decisions and accumulate life experiences and stories.


Don't do that on an airplane. It's not this bad, but they can't go away if they wanted to.

wompampsupport.azureedge.netView Full Size
 
2022-11-26 10:28:36 AM  
They were great when they were still niche and the quality of people signing up were good. Now even the better apps are one step above Craigslist personals. Ah well, RIP. Such apps are a lifeline if you live in a low population area.
 
2022-11-26 10:29:03 AM  

Ragin' Asian: A bar, an airplane, or a place of worship.


With Jet Blue you can get a drunk pilot and passengers praying to God in the aisles that they dont die
 
2022-11-26 10:32:36 AM  

ObscureNameHere: They played it left-hand but took it too far?


Phrasing.
 
2022-11-26 10:33:22 AM  
Been with my GF for almost 6 years and we met in Zoosk. About to propose to her up on Clingmans Dome in an hour or two. Not kidding. She is getting some SERIOUS ice up on that mountain.
 
2022-11-26 10:34:46 AM  

Ragin' Asian: You know what's a fun dating app? A bar, an airplane, or a place of worship. Make some bad decisions and accumulate life experiences and stories.


I'd just swipe left on going to church, if I had a choice.

Wait, is left or right the direction for "No"?
 
2022-11-26 10:36:24 AM  
Bullshiat, I've been assured there are many local teens who are waiting to meet me and are totally not part of an FBI Special Task Force
 
2022-11-26 10:37:19 AM  
One thing I miss about Myspace was the search function.  You could search for friends by age / location / gender and message them.  I met a lot of people on there, some I still know to this day.
 
2022-11-26 10:39:22 AM  

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Been with my GF for almost 6 years and we met in Zoosk. About to propose to her up on Clingmans Dome in an hour or two. Not kidding. She is getting some SERIOUS ice up on that mountain.


I hope y'all are both very happy.
 
2022-11-26 10:39:46 AM  
We met on eHarmony... in the fall of 2010. Dog, house, two kids, the whole bit since then. It seems so quaint now.
 
2022-11-26 10:40:40 AM  
I thought it was because they were all bought by the same Chinese company datamining your private intimate data before stopping any and all efforts to refine their approaches to helping people find their Sara and charging exorbitant amounts of money with promises to find you a date that wasn't Craigslist personals bottom of the barrel?
 
2022-11-26 10:41:53 AM  
Giggity.
 
2022-11-26 10:42:09 AM  
Yeah, sure, approach people that may end up calling the cops on you or, worse, take a photo and nail your pelt to the barn door on social networks. Dating was stressful enough when the Twitter mob couldn't take your job and your life away, or get doxxed to death on 4/8/16chan/kun/yaro. IF you think I am exaggerating, remember the programmer that got fired for complaining about bodegas on the farking bird app.

5 years off the game, got a good job, a good life and some meds that kill the libido dead. Peace of mind, time for myself, and no more shiat.

/I was the one calling the cops last time around
//Learn the signs of meth ingestion, and run away from that person, fast
 
2022-11-26 10:43:09 AM  
Never was sold on dating apps, or services, and likely never will them.
 
2022-11-26 10:46:47 AM  
A friend of mine complains about the guys she meets on dating apps. But when I tell her to ask friends, family, and coworkers to set her up instead, she looks and me like I have two heads. "The apps" are the only thing she'll do.

We're both around 40, so we did do things like that before.
 
2022-11-26 10:47:52 AM  
I used OKCupid over a decade ago, before I met my wife, and it was OK.  Usually ended up with a date every weekend, and most of those fizzled out quickly.  I had a couple of short relationships on there, but it felt like it tried to match you up with someone so similar that it was boring.  Like... Jerry Seinfeld and "Jeannie Steinman".  I briefly tried Plenty-of-Fish but it may as well have been People-of-Walmart.

The biggest issue with the services is there's no "vetting."  You meet people through friends, they're known in your extended circles well enough that if someone is a proverbial parade float of red flags, you get a "whoa bro..." moment. 
Fark user imageView Full Size


I met my wife through friends, and the general reaction was "Wow... never thought of that, but you two seem like an awesome match."  The fact that we knew a lot of the same people, and these folks would vouch for us as "probably not a serial killer" and "probably not mentally unstable" really helps.

Online dating was exhausting because the ration of batshiat crazy to normal seems way higher than humanity in general.  Plus, once you're to your 30's and beyond, the keepers have often paired up already.
 
2022-11-26 10:49:17 AM  

8tReAsUrEz: Yeah, sure, approach people that may end up calling the cops on you or, worse, take a photo and nail your pelt to the barn door on social networks. Dating was stressful enough when the Twitter mob couldn't take your job and your life away, or get doxxed to death on 4/8/16chan/kun/yaro. IF you think I am exaggerating, remember the programmer that got fired for complaining about bodegas on the farking bird app.

5 years off the game, got a good job, a good life and some meds that kill the libido dead. Peace of mind, time for myself, and no more shiat.

/I was the one calling the cops last time around
//Learn the signs of meth ingestion, and run away from that person, fast


I remember he was also a piece of homophobic, racist garbage. (That's why he got canned)
You carrying his water says all that needs to be said about your sorry ass.
 
2022-11-26 10:49:32 AM  
Ziggy Stardust is not my favorite Bowie song. It's not bad though.
 
2022-11-26 10:50:46 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-26 10:51:30 AM  

bostonguy: A friend of mine complains about the guys she meets on dating apps. But when I tell her to ask friends, family, and coworkers to set her up instead, she looks and me like I have two heads. "The apps" are the only thing she'll do.

We're both around 40, so we did do things like that before.


That's because her friends know her well enough that they won't jeopardize friendships by being the one to set their friend up with "that crazy chick."

Meetup is probably the best "dating app" that's not a dating app.  Find people with similar interests, go hang out in groups, get to know people.
 
2022-11-26 10:51:33 AM  
My longtime partner and I met on OKCupid and we still very much enjoy yelling at televised sports together.
 
2022-11-26 10:52:31 AM  

Izunbacol: The biggest issue with the services is there's no "vetting."  You meet people through friends, they're known in your extended circles well enough


THIS.
 
2022-11-26 10:52:31 AM  
I first used match.com in 2002. Lots of people thought I was insane.

I met Mrs. Phygz 4 years ago on tinder. We got married in May.

It worked for me because I'm terrible in social situations (hah who would have guessed) thanks to ASD. I was much more successful with dating apps than I had ever been before, mostly because I was able to initially communicate much more effectively.
 
2022-11-26 10:54:58 AM  

iheartscotch: Ziggy Stardust is not my favorite Bowie song. It's not bad though.


Young Americans, hands down.
 
2022-11-26 10:55:09 AM  

iheartscotch: Ziggy Stardust is not my favorite Bowie song. It's not bad though.


I prefer life on Mars, but I'll take Ziggy every time it comes on
 
2022-11-26 10:55:44 AM  
Met my wife on OKcupid. So worked out for me.

The problem that I always had with being set up by friends was the 'This is who you set me up with? What do you really think of me?' effect. So have a bad date and lose a friend all in one go. Maybe I just needed better friends so good riddance.
 
2022-11-26 11:01:40 AM  

Izunbacol: bostonguy: A friend of mine complains about the guys she meets on dating apps. But when I tell her to ask friends, family, and coworkers to set her up instead, she looks and me like I have two heads. "The apps" are the only thing she'll do.

We're both around 40, so we did do things like that before.

That's because her friends know her well enough that they won't jeopardize friendships by being the one to set their friend up with "that crazy chick."


You're very perceptive. She's baby crazy, and it's all she can think about. She is dating an asshole (as in, a guy who is mentally abusive towards her) just because he wants kids and she thinks he's her last chance to have one. I have tried to warn her multiple times but stopped trying because she ignores me.

I would never set her up with a friend of mine. And, for example, I'd never want to have a child with her because I don't think she's mentally stable and responsible enough for children in the first place. Though I could never tell her that.

In fact, I think the only reason we started hanging out is because it was early in the pandemic and we were both very alone during lockdowns. I've slowly started to distance myself from her as the world has returned to normal.

Meetup is probably the best "dating app" that's not a dating app.  Find people with similar interests, go hang out in groups, get to know people.

That's a very good point. Go join groups that do stuff that interest you, and friends and relationships with similar people may result.
 
2022-11-26 11:02:19 AM  

Fano: Ragin' Asian: You know what's a fun dating app? A bar, an airplane, or a place of worship. Make some bad decisions and accumulate life experiences and stories.

Those are all wretched. Unless you also sell Amway or are a master of ladder theory


It's all wretched
 
2022-11-26 11:02:23 AM  

phygz: iheartscotch: Ziggy Stardust is not my favorite Bowie song. It's not bad though.

I prefer life on Mars, but I'll take Ziggy every time it comes on


Since this is the internet...I expected Cat People....
 
2022-11-26 11:04:09 AM  

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Been with my GF for almost 6 years and we met in Zoosk. About to propose to her up on Clingmans Dome in an hour or two. Not kidding. She is getting some SERIOUS ice up on that mountain.


As full as Fark is of trolls (and I'm not above a little trolling myself), congratulations, in all seriousness.

Best wishes on your life journey.
 
2022-11-26 11:05:55 AM  
few mentions of craigslist personals in the thread. Sad it has been gone for quite a few years now.
 
2022-11-26 11:05:55 AM  
I am a woman and I didn't have much luck on dating apps. It really took a toll on my self confidence.  So I finally stopped because I kept getting the same problem with every app/website I tried.
 
2022-11-26 11:06:14 AM  
Fun(ish) Tinder story:

After at least 25-30 disasters of tinder first dates, I stopped checking the app.  The day I was going to delete it, someone messaged me.  I debated on ignoring and uninstalling the app, but three days later, I responded.

7 years later, and we just got married 7 days ago.

She's an amazing human being.
 
2022-11-26 11:06:40 AM  
That may be, but hookup apps are still going strong.

...or so I'm told by other people who definitely aren't me...
 
2022-11-26 11:08:09 AM  

iheartscotch: Ziggy Stardust is not my favorite Bowie song. It's not bad though.


The song is much better in the context of the entire album.

Five Years is my favorite song on that. (It's the first one.)
 
2022-11-26 11:08:45 AM  
FTA: "There wasn't any of that this time, just men flexing their biceps in the gym, taking dull-eyed selfies in the driver side of their cars."

Reminds me of this meme:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-26 11:09:14 AM  

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Been with my GF for almost 6 years and we met in Zoosk. About to propose to her up on Clingmans Dome in an hour or two. Not kidding. She is getting some SERIOUS ice up on that mountain.


Make sure that you are on a nice, level surface when you do the dew. Would NOT want to slip and accidentally propose to an opossum or something.
 
2022-11-26 11:10:19 AM  
"Will we lean over and start chatting up people on trains, asking them what they think of the book they're reading, that you just happened to have finished two weeks ago?"

She has a vision of cute sophisticated guys doing this and starting a thing. The reality is it will 50% be hookup bros abd incels, and 45% guys who are too old or not attractive enough for her (the article strongly left me feeling she dares only 'cute' guys).

This is not going to work out like she hopes. This is all the bad sides of dating apps (some random person who does not know you or owe you a thing) and none of the benefits (getting to better them a bit first).
 
2022-11-26 11:12:02 AM  

Trocadero: iheartscotch: Ziggy Stardust is not my favorite Bowie song. It's not bad though.

Young Americans, hands down.


I first heard Young Americans during a phase where I'd try to learn everything I liked with interesting chord changes on guitar by ear and that one qualified.  It long pre-dated the internet and easy access to lyrics so first step was writing down the lyrics so I could put guitar chords over the right words or spaces.  Words I couldn't make out were written phonetically and my Young Americans page was filled with nonsense like 'you ain't a berpa, you ain't a horse-a'.
 
2022-11-26 11:12:15 AM  
I've been thinking about setting up a Bumble account for a while, but haven't done it, as I've had difficulty figuring out how to construct my bio. So far, all I have  is two disclaimers:

1. Anti-vaxers and/or Jimmy Buffett fans need not apply.

2. Priority given to tasteful moles and light dusting of freckles.
 
2022-11-26 11:12:39 AM  
Is there was a dating app that lets your matches see how many other matches you have?
Like how LinkedIn will tell you how many other people applied for a job? It seems like that would eliminate this bad behavior, incentivize people to actually invest in the people they are matching with...
 
2022-11-26 11:12:39 AM  

chawco: "Will we lean over and start chatting up people on trains, asking them what they think of the book they're reading, that you just happened to have finished two weeks ago?"

She has a vision of cute sophisticated guys doing this and starting a thing. The reality is it will 50% be hookup bros abd incels, and 45% guys who are too old or not attractive enough for her (the article strongly left me feeling she dares only 'cute' guys).

This is not going to work out like she hopes. This is all the bad sides of dating apps (some random person who does not know you or owe you a thing) and none of the benefits (getting to better them a bit first).


Maybe she needs to leave the big city and meet a widowed lumberjack with a heart of gold?

/Hallmark Movie Season!!
 
2022-11-26 11:16:06 AM  
Tried dating apps decades ago when they were first getting started, even then women were looking for absolute perfection, so guys lied. A friend who is 5'7" got matched with a guy who said he was 5'10", he was shorter than her. "It's complicated." No, height is not complicated.

Every women I've dated seriously I've met through mutual interests. This seems to have fallen by the wayside. I would have thought meetup and similar apps would make it easier, but again, people are expecting 100% matches. I consider 80% ideal. You have enough in common to have things to talk about and do together. The other 20% will be new experiences.

I met my wife through an organization she had joined with a former BF. He split, she stuck around. It's been 13 years and I'm still a morning person, a reader and interested in home improvement; she's a night owl, into comics, a gardener and never owned a home. There's overlap - I built her a greenhouse. She takes me to movies I probably would have never considered, she puts up with Minions. When we travel by car, I start the day, she finishes it about the time I hit the zombie stage.
 
2022-11-26 11:22:53 AM  
Fun fact. The same crazies on the app are the same crazies in real life. Never got much but I did meet nice gals because I'd message them a few weeks before meeting. I wanted to feel them out before I got a chance to feel them up. A quality gal will want to get a decent idea of you first before meeting. They all even wanted to pay their share of the date. Always paid though, I'd tell them that I got it and if there was a second date they could treat me and make me feel special. Still miss a few of them to this day, nice buns and great conversation.
 
2022-11-26 11:23:54 AM  
I am now officially old.
Chatting with complete strangers and then meeting to date is absolutely insane to me.
Lawn... off... you
 
2022-11-26 11:24:13 AM  
Not mentioned yet in this thread:

Dating apps are built to fail. Specifically they are engineered to induce an intermittent reward, which as all recovering gambling addicts know, is the most addictive rush.

OkCupid is a great example. Before its acquisition, it had a bunch of quirky quizzes, a journaling feature, and very efficient filters. I met some awesome people on it.

Compare that to the late stage capitalism mess it is right now, where it's basically hot or not.
 
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