I won't shame anyone for liking what I don't like, especially when it comes to food. We don't get to decide what tastes good to us and what doesn't, after all, or we wouldn't be so fat. You like stir-fried cockroaches in an apple juice reduction glaze served over foraged kale jelly? Have at it, just please don't try to make me eat it and we're good. So opinions about Thanksgiving side dishes are definitely highly subjective. However, the worst Thanksgiving side dish is any dish made with sweet potatoes or yams with marshmallows on top. The DisseminationMonkey has spoken.

Drew's away doing family Thanksgiving stuff, so there won't be a Fark News Livestream this week. Send any complaints to elon@twitter. 

A couple of things of note:

Farketplace!

Farketplace will reopen this weekend for Black Friday and Small Business Saturday so you can share information about your own small business and buy some cool products and services from fellow Farkers. Bookmark it, check out the awesome stuff already listed, support your fellow Farkers, and be ready to tell everyone about how they can buy stuff from you. This is a creative and talented community, and it really is a joy to check out the Farketplace to see what y'all put up for sale.

Fark Fiction Anthology! (A special message from toraque) 

"Doomscrolling: The 2022 Fark Fiction Anthology" is now on sale on Amazon!

Each year, a team of editors and readers drawn from here on Fark.com assembles the best short fiction that Farkers can come up with, and publishes the best of the best on Amazon! Funnier than the news, more terrifying than watching Elon Musk buy your company, and probably not banned anywhere yet, this collection of fantasy, science fiction, humor, horror, and suspense just might drag you away from scrolling the news in terror! And best of all, all proceeds from the sale of these anthologies are donated to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, so you can support a great cause while enjoying the best writing that this slice of the internet can offer!

"Doomscrolling: The 2022 Fark Fiction Anthology" Trade Paperback Edition
"Doomscrolling: The 2022 Fark Fiction Anthology" Kindle Edition

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Warthog saw a problem with a SpaceX Starship
Pan Am was enjoying the Twitter show
Marcos P thought an article about nookie in the Middle Ages was factually incorrect
thisisyourbrainonFark answered concerns about a blue checkmark that temporarily replaced the TotalFark badge
Xcott shared a story about managers learning a lesson about enforcing strict office hours
Warthog was impressed by our stamina
Badmoodman was dismayed by the condition of a house that was listed for sale
aimtastic recognized Elon Musk's strategy
arrogantbastich revealed the main fanbase of "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving"
Otera told us what an elephant was doing to a TV news reporter

Smart:
Warthog was impressed by our stamina
foo monkey discussed things that could take down Twitter at any time
valenumr shared a story from childhood that could apparently get parents arrested these days
Carter Pewterschmidt described some of the crimes linked to the blood testing startup Theranos
edmo thought about why Americans seem to be so paranoid that people are targeting children
AtomPeepers took a peek at a marijuana study and found it didn't seem as certain as portrayed in an article
Boudyro told a story about getting hurt as a kid without any adults freaking out about it
edmo summed up Musk's belief that there were fake people on Twitter's payroll

CSB Sunday Morning theme: What's the strangest holiday tradition your family has?
Smart: Vansthing bled to bring you this story
Funny: catmandu plays an awesome game with family, neighbors, local turkeys and woodland creatures (with photos)

Politics Funny:
markie_farkie described what John Fetterman looks like in a suit
enry revealed an extra sense people can have
BradysBalls knew Kari Lake's plan after losing the election
Ray_Finkle had a suggestion for Elon Musk
foo monkey proved the election was stolen from Kari Lake

Politics Smart:
scottydoesntknow suggested that President Joe Biden should issue a pardon after all
BizarreMan pointed out another way in which pardoning Donald Trump wouldn't have any chance at helping to heal the nation
aaronx discussed the bullying and demonization of transgender people
revrendjim explained why Hunter Biden's laptop is such a big deal
Rev.K found Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin to be quite helpful


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector made a Fark postage stamp that would be great for sending mail to Oregon
NeoMoxie gave us a very Fark way to send mail
EvaDewer discovered that the United States Postal Service has crashed
FirstDennis found a collector's item
RedZoneTuba provided two levels of service
RedZoneTuba enriched the environment of a couple of spies
Yammering_Splat_Vector damned us all to hell
Snubnose designed a stamp featuring the worst book in the world
zeon showed us ZZ Top playing on some AstroTurf
RedZoneTuba searched for the golden idol

Farktography theme: Abstraction
This one ended in a tie between Lovesandwich's stretched silhouettes and inelegy's glowing figure


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

At least 11 injured as explosion rips through busy area of Istanbul, not Constantinople. Might it have been caused by jerks? That's nobody's business but the Turks'

It's high time that those big bongs returned

As pickleball increases in popularity, doctors report rise in number of Pickle Incidents

Vermont's only nudist resort to clothes

DNA analysis reveals that Ro attempted to wade

Twitter: Working from home is prohibited. Also Twitter: Working from the office is prohibited

Green Day Produce recalls mushroom packages due to possible health risk, dookie

Lone wolf arrested after stalking the leader of the Pack

Fans start petition to finally get INXS inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, say they're tired of being left hanging

Musk taunts the dynamite Markey

Hobbs wins Calvinball

Liz Cheney set a lake on fire

Does anyone on-board know how to fly a plane? The pilots have been thrown out the cargo door and we're starting to think that may have been a mistake

Indecision is a sign of intelligence. Or is it?

Plane full of dogs makes emergency landing at third hole of Wisconsin golf course, avoids the ruff

Ötzi the Iceman probably thawed and refroze several times, so he's probably not safe to eat no matter how well you cook him

Scientists try to bolster Great Barrier against warmer temps but some are saying that's just reefer madness


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, where I learned all kinds of ways of sneaking some turkey into a dish for my family's "non-traditional" Thanksgiving dinner. On the Quiz itself, Two Dogs Farking made 1024, but we're not counting him because he greenlit a number of these stories. TheMothership took top honors among non-staff members with 993, followed by Evildog in second with 953 and coscausticevil in third with 952. The Third Man made fourth with 952, and Glockenspiel Hero made it into the top 5 with 931.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the upcoming 2024 Olympic Games in Paris. Only 42% of quiztakers knew that the event organizers had decided the mascot would be... a hat. Not a French hat like a beret, but a red Phrygian cap such as worn by the leader in our generation's most well known allegory of socialism vs. capitalism, "The Smurfs." I mean, I guess it's better than the unidentifiable blobs used by Japan at the Tokyo Olympics, and it could have been worse, they could have gone with mimes. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about who to go to to get your Holy Ears edibles this holiday season, sure to make every forced family get-together somewhat more tolerable. 90% of quiztakers knew the ear-shaped candies were a joint promotion between Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson, who have shown that even the fiercest rivals can bury the hatchet in the name of weed. Or capitalism, it's open to interpretation. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Wendy's new Frosty flavor for the holidays. Only 53% of quiztakers knew that if your Aunt Edna's apple cobbler she makes with the canned biscuits every year doesn't do it for you. you can hit up the drive-thru at your local Wendy's for a Peppermint Frosty. Which should be a perfect accompaniment to the peppermint schnapps you hid in your coat pocket in case the Holy Ears take too long to kick in. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which Canadian rocker celebrating his 77th birthday saw his first real success in an L.A. band called Buffalo Springfield. 95% of quiztakers recognized Neil Young as the artist. Incidentally, I have it on good authority that Neil's music goes pretty well with peppermint schnapps Frostys and Holy Ears. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday once we survive Thanksgiving.