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(Local10 WPLG)   Man found guilty of armed robbery in court. Does he A: Immediately file appeal? B: Go peaceably to jail? or C: Drink bleach?   (local10.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Robbery, Miami-Dade County, Florida, Miami-Dade Police Department, Doral, Florida, Jermaine Bell, Reverend Jerome Starling, Crime, MIAMI-DADE COUNTY  
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2172 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2022 at 9:27 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-11-22 9:13:49 AM  
MAGA!
 
2022-11-22 9:17:06 AM  
Maybe he had covid?
 
2022-11-22 9:35:46 AM  
Should've gone with Drano.
 
2022-11-22 9:39:08 AM  

Sorelian's Ghost: Maybe he had covid?


Nah, preventative measure. He knew he was going to prison and that Covid spreads easily there. It works better than a vaccine, almost guarantees you won't die of Covid.
 
2022-11-22 9:40:05 AM  
This guy ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
 
2022-11-22 9:40:37 AM  
You know he practices what he preaches.
 
2022-11-22 9:41:56 AM  
He thought he could make a clean getaway.
 
2022-11-22 9:48:06 AM  
"I see him drinking something that's not right," said Starling. "His attorneys are letting him drink it. Corrections letting him drink it. All of a sudden I see him collapse. And I said how could this happen."

Bleach is nearly colorless so if he put it in a standard water bottle how the hell would anyone know?

Was he already known to be suicidal?  If not, no one could have anticipated that.
 
2022-11-22 9:49:20 AM  
Maybe he was hoping for a reduced sentence if he turned white?
 
2022-11-22 9:54:09 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-22 9:59:20 AM  

kdawg7736: This guy ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.


But he is the most sterile.
 
2022-11-22 10:06:56 AM  
He didn't do it right. Should have tried this.

Ariz. man dies following guilty verdict
Youtube E1iwLmgunKk
 
2022-11-22 10:08:14 AM  
They're wondering how he got it? Probably just sitting in a jug on a cleaning cart, or from a maintenance closet. It's not like they keep that stuff in high-security vaults.
 
2022-11-22 10:14:12 AM  

Petit_Merdeux: You know he practices what he preaches.


Bleach keeps you young, so I've been told.
'cause no one who ever drinks it lives to get old.

/ Drinking with a chaser was the first thing that I learned.
// Enough of that.  Off to smoke some Banana Peels.
/// You know what Petit_Merdeux? I like you! You're not like the other people here at the trailer park.
 
2022-11-22 10:17:30 AM  

bdub77: Maybe he was hoping for a reduced sentence if he turned white?


^that's some funny shiat!
 
2022-11-22 10:30:49 AM  
Armando Todd
 
2022-11-22 10:33:49 AM  
Why did he commit an armed robbery in court?
 
2022-11-22 10:36:52 AM  
Trick the Doctor | Metalocalypse | Adult Swim
Youtube eqbn7oxXh38
 
2022-11-22 10:38:07 AM  
This is where rich people are supposed to step in and say "I got this."
 
2022-11-22 10:39:07 AM  
Way back when I was in my rural county clink for a spell, there was the this jacked tough guy from out of town who was awaiting sentencing for a whole slew of charges related to a robbery. Roy acted tough, but he wasn't a terrible guy, and a pretty good spades player. You could tell he was scared, because he knew he was getting shipped for a loooong time.

Sentencing day comes around, we tell him good luck, and off he goes to court. Comes back an hour or so later and right away you can tell something isn't right. He's sweaty and jittery, can't really talk well. We go into his cell to ask him about what was up. Apparently he had saved his daily meds (wellbutrin I think) for awhile and took them all right before going to court.

Not long after he told us that, and the fact that he was going down state for a 10 year minimum, he seized up very hard, fell over and hit his head on the toilet. Guards take him away, we clean up the blood, and we watch the papers the next couple of days. Not a mention of Roy in hospital admissions, or anywhere, aside from the weekly sentencing list. No idea what happened to him, guards said they didn't know either, but I digress.

He would probably be out by now (over 20 years ago). I hope he was reformed and able to make something of his life. Jail can certainly change your brain, usually not for the good (in the US anyways).

/cjsb
 
2022-11-22 10:42:31 AM  
Bleach Boys - The Dead Milkmen
Youtube Sumb3GYuAT8
 
2022-11-22 10:54:19 AM  
Every so often, I wonder if people facing extremely long prison sentences should be given the option at some point, of a cyanide capsule in lieu of the remainder of their sentence.

Maybe after 40 years or so.
 
2022-11-22 10:59:42 AM  

markie_farkie: "I see him drinking something that's not right," said Starling. "His attorneys are letting him drink it. Corrections letting him drink it. All of a sudden I see him collapse. And I said how could this happen."

Bleach is nearly colorless so if he put it in a standard water bottle how the hell would anyone know?

Was he already known to be suicidal?  If not, no one could have anticipated that.


/
No.
It's slightly yellow. And it also doesn't look like water.
 
2022-11-22 11:03:16 AM  
Yes C! Oh, I mean oh that poor man oh the horror oh.
 
2022-11-22 11:14:33 AM  
No real antidote either. Problem is, if you neutralize it, you would end up with chlorine gas. All you can do is either a gastric lavage, or dilute the hell out of it with something like milk or cream.
 
2022-11-22 11:16:53 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/Sumb3GYuAT8]


In a world where ministers murder golf pros, it's a viable option.
 
2022-11-22 11:29:25 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Should've gone with Drano.


"Corn nuts!"
 
2022-11-22 11:50:59 AM  
And that's why I always keep an emergency cup of bleach for when I want to die a painful drawn out death instead of going to jail.
 
2022-11-22 11:58:06 AM  
He took an armed robbery to trial in Florida and lost? That's a life sentence. I took a plea for the same thing and was very lucky I only received 15 years (I did 12 years, 9 months of it). Florida is a rough place if you get caught. He's gonna spend a lot of time in a turtle suit and then get sent to a really shiatty psych camp. Rough time all around.
 
2022-11-22 12:03:46 PM  

TypoFlyspray: Pants full of macaroni!!: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/Sumb3GYuAT8]

In a world where ministers murder golf pros, it's a viable option.


TIL: Kashoggi was also a golfer
 
2022-11-22 12:08:00 PM  

tembaarmswide: TypoFlyspray: Pants full of macaroni!!: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/Sumb3GYuAT8]

In a world where ministers murder golf pros, it's a viable option.

TIL: Kashoggi was also a golfer


YIKES!
 
2022-11-22 12:09:41 PM  

markie_farkie: "I see him drinking something that's not right," said Starling. "His attorneys are letting him drink it. Corrections letting him drink it. All of a sudden I see him collapse. And I said how could this happen."

Bleach is nearly colorless so if he put it in a standard water bottle how the hell would anyone know?

Was he already known to be suicidal?  If not, no one could have anticipated that.


The family very quickly tries to put blame on everyone except for the person who drank the bleach. I wonder if that is part of the reason he's in the jam he's in?
 
2022-11-22 12:10:09 PM  

12YearBid: He took an armed robbery to trial in Florida and lost? That's a life sentence. I took a plea for the same thing and was very lucky I only received 15 years (I did 12 years, 9 months of it). Florida is a rough place if you get caught. He's gonna spend a lot of time in a turtle suit and then get sent to a really shiatty psych camp. Rough time all around.


How are you doing now that you're out? I hope things are going well for you.
 
2022-11-22 12:15:02 PM  
Stories like this are why I don't commit armed robbery.
 
2022-11-22 12:17:10 PM  

Big_Doofus: 12YearBid: He took an armed robbery to trial in Florida and lost? That's a life sentence. I took a plea for the same thing and was very lucky I only received 15 years (I did 12 years, 9 months of it). Florida is a rough place if you get caught. He's gonna spend a lot of time in a turtle suit and then get sent to a really shiatty psych camp. Rough time all around.

How are you doing now that you're out? I hope things are going well for you.


Why would this get a funny? I don't get it.
 
2022-11-22 12:55:05 PM  

markie_farkie: "I see him drinking something that's not right," said Starling. "His attorneys are letting him drink it. Corrections letting him drink it. All of a sudden I see him collapse. And I said how could this happen."

Bleach is nearly colorless so if he put it in a standard water bottle how the hell would anyone know?

Was he already known to be suicidal?  If not, no one could have anticipated that.


Article says he drank a cup of bleach, which makes you wonder how lax security was that he was able to have access to bleach in the first place.
 
2022-11-22 1:06:21 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: markie_farkie: "I see him drinking something that's not right," said Starling. "His attorneys are letting him drink it. Corrections letting him drink it. All of a sudden I see him collapse. And I said how could this happen."

Bleach is nearly colorless so if he put it in a standard water bottle how the hell would anyone know?

Was he already known to be suicidal?  If not, no one could have anticipated that.

Article says he drank a cup of bleach, which makes you wonder how lax security was that he was able to have access to bleach in the first place.


and that's the angle he was going for.  Accuse them of not preventing you from drinking bleach and sue them!
 
2022-11-22 1:06:25 PM  
article also says he was in jail for 3 years waiting to find out if he was, by legal standards, even guilty of anything, which makes me wonder how lax the penal system is on the right to a speedy trial in the first place
 
2022-11-22 1:11:24 PM  
If he's doing an armed robbery in court, I mean, that's no conception of reality. They have no money and there's guards. It just doesn't add up.
 
2022-11-22 1:22:02 PM  

NewportBarGuy: This is where rich people are supposed to step in and say "I got this."


No, it's not
 
2022-11-22 1:58:45 PM  

Big_Doofus: 12YearBid: He took an armed robbery to trial in Florida and lost? That's a life sentence. I took a plea for the same thing and was very lucky I only received 15 years (I did 12 years, 9 months of it). Florida is a rough place if you get caught. He's gonna spend a lot of time in a turtle suit and then get sent to a really shiatty psych camp. Rough time all around.

How are you doing now that you're out? I hope things are going well for you.


Great! It's made me appreciate many things that i took for granted before. I am very lucky.
 
2022-11-22 2:05:27 PM  

kdawg7736: This guy ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.


He's not even the sharpest light bulb in the pack.
 
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