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(Marketwatch)   Utter No-Class Twit of the Year, Oliver St. Elon-Musk has proven his outstanding twitness by managing to run himself over. And now it seems he wishes to remove himself from further competition   (marketwatch.com) divider line
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    More: Fail, The Washington Post, Employment, Severance package, Termination of employment, Layoff, Washington Post, Musk's signature feature, Compromise agreement  
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1445 clicks; posted to Business » on 16 Nov 2022 at 3:04 PM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



40 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
SpectroBoy [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-16 1:25:56 PM  
I've put all the dog shiat in this paper bag and lit the bag on fire.
Here, make this work for me now.
 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-16 1:27:14 PM  
Who in the f*ck would take that job?
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-16 1:35:08 PM  
DONALD TUMP.

The obvious business and poliical choice, I'd think.
 
Bootleg [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-16 1:40:40 PM  
Ah, he wants someone to blame when Twitter collapses from him gutting it. "I didn't kill Twitter by emptying it's thorax like I was carving a pumpkin, it was this dumbass that was standing there holding the bag when it died!"

/Sadly, lots of people and news organizations will believe him and blame this new CEO.
 
snocone [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-16 1:41:59 PM  
Musk has burst into flame like a poorly constructed LiPo battery.
 
Dustin_00 [TotalFark]
2022-11-16 1:58:02 PM  
Tired of all that winning already, eh?
 
TwoHead
2022-11-16 2:09:44 PM  
I could be talked into taking the job for $200M up front, cash. Offer good until end of business today only. My price goes up $50M per day so a savvy business type human like elmo could save a lot of money by depositing the money in my paypal account and kicking back the fees to himself.
 
koder [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-16 2:17:54 PM  
Haha. Two for one.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark]
2022-11-16 2:36:40 PM  

NewportBarGuy: Who in the f*ck would take that job?


Pay me $5 million per year with a $14 million signing bonus and I'll take the job.
 
Farking Clown Shoes [TotalFark]
2022-11-16 2:52:01 PM  
No, you guys misunderstand. He's gonna fix it first. Then, once it's good and fixed, he can hand the reins (or is it wings?) over to someone boring who will never change a single thing again.

It's brilliant in its simplicity, isn't it?
 
ArkPanda [TotalFark]
2022-11-16 3:01:53 PM  
I'm surprised we haven't seen some memes featuring the original Twitter failure.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
germ78
2022-11-16 3:13:36 PM  
Yeah, dude wants Twitter to enter crunch mode right as the holiday period starts up to "fix" something which wasn't really broken (it had its shortcomings, but functioned properly) to begin with that he broke immediately after taking over. Just so he can attempt to turn a profit on something which hasn't ever really run at a large profit margin because he's gotta finance the huge amount of debt he took on to buy the thing he immediately broke.
 
FormlessOne
2022-11-16 3:16:32 PM  
Told you. His antics at Twitter have weakened his defense against this shareholder lawsuit.
 
NeoCortex42 [TotalFark]
2022-11-16 3:18:56 PM  

Bootleg: Ah, he wants someone to blame when Twitter collapses from him gutting it. "I didn't kill Twitter by emptying it's thorax like I was carving a pumpkin, it was this dumbass that was standing there holding the bag when it died!"

/Sadly, lots of people and news organizations will believe him and blame this new CEO.


"Thanks for housesitting for me on such sort notice.  I've already lit three fires behind several of the walls, turned off the smoke detectors, and put some pennies in the fuse box.  I'll be back in a couple weeks and so help me if anything is out of place or damaged!"
 
wildcardjack
2022-11-16 3:24:54 PM  
Monty Python - Upper Class Twit Of The Year
Youtube zGxSM5y7Pfs
 
Jurodan
2022-11-16 3:30:11 PM  
I heard Jack Dorsey is free...
 
FormlessOne
2022-11-16 3:48:54 PM  
"'I'm trying to take the set of actions that maximize the probability for the good of civilization. If I over-allocate time to Tesla at the expense of humanity becoming a multiplanetary species, then I'm not sure that would serve the greater good."

That's an actual quote. This guy's high from sniffing his own farts & proclaiming them perfect.
 
rwdavis
2022-11-16 3:59:24 PM  
Remember, according to Musk, if you aren't spending 40+ hrs/week, 50+ weeks/year physically in the office, you're only pretending to work there. Musk must be held to this standard at all of the companies he's employed at.
 
imashark [TotalFark]
2022-11-16 4:24:00 PM  

FormlessOne: "'I'm trying to take the set of actions that maximize the probability for the good of civilization. If I over-allocate time to Tesla at the expense of humanity becoming a multiplanetary species, then I'm not sure that would serve the greater good."

That's an actual quote. This guy's high from sniffing his own farts & proclaiming them perfect.


Does this guy think he's at the helm of the Weyland-Yutani corporation?

What the hell?
 
Lillya
2022-11-16 4:33:06 PM  
Twitter didn't return a request for comment about the new employee requirements.

Because he canned that department
 
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier
2022-11-16 4:40:57 PM  
I'll do it. 30 million a year, payable up front. 100% salary, no benefits, no stock options, no clawback provisions.

I'll be the whipping boy for that price, Elon.
 
groppet
2022-11-16 4:42:10 PM  
So after he shiat all over it and fired half the staff, lost advertisers and now he wants someone else to take the reigns and finish flushing it down the toilet.
 
BlackPete
2022-11-16 4:57:17 PM  
From the Washington Post link:  By mid-Wednesday, members of Twitter's Trust and Safety team - who are responsible for keeping hate speech and misinformation off the site - were discussing a mass resignation, according to three current employees who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of retribution.

Gotta say I'm impressed.

I didn't think it was possible for Twitter to melt down any worse than it already has and become even MORE toxic.

Yet here we are.
 
Thosw [BareFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-16 4:59:24 PM  

groppet: So after he shiat all over it and fired half the staff, lost advertisers and now he wants someone else to take the reigns and finish flushing it down the toilet.


He wants a scapegoat for when it does. Anything they try to do to ameliorate the damage Elmo caused without running it by Elmo will be a fireable offense.
 
ImpendingCynic
2022-11-16 6:44:39 PM  
How about Moo-Cow? His track record of social media is unpresidented.
 
Soccerhead
2022-11-16 7:19:07 PM  
Can he get a twitness!!!
 
AppleOptionEsc
2022-11-16 7:21:31 PM  
It's kinda funny he was allowed to be a shiatposting moron on Twatter for 2 years as CEO of Tesla, until he was forced out by the shareholders AND SEC. Because for a while, he wasn't negatively effecting Tesla.

And the second he gets another chance, he immediately craters Twitter and all anyone seems to be wanting to do is watch the trainwreck.

I'm beginning to think there was a grand conspiracy to blow twitter off the internet for nefarious reasons, as no one seems to even attempting to help him not destroy a company.

Magnificent.
 
Rage Against the Thorazine [TotalFark]
2022-11-16 7:35:48 PM  
Captain Elon, the ship is on fire and sinking fast but we can't put out the fire because you laid off half the crew, no one can get off the ship because you got rid of the life boats to save money and the fire suppression system doesn't work anymore because you deleted the suppression system software after you said it was just bloatware and it would make the ship faster. What are we going to do?!?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
iron de havilland [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-16 7:37:54 PM  
The man invented Twitter. All y'all should go easy on him.
 
centrifugal bumblepuppy
2022-11-16 8:00:32 PM  
preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
Gergesa
2022-11-16 8:52:48 PM  
Ok, so he is intent on killing twitter.
 
WonderDave1
2022-11-16 8:53:51 PM  

BlackPete: From the Washington Post link:  By mid-Wednesday, members of Twitter's Trust and Safety team - who are responsible for keeping hate speech and misinformation off the site - were discussing a mass resignation, according to three current employees who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of retribution.

Gotta say I'm impressed.

I didn't think it was possible for Twitter to melt down any worse than it already has and become even MORE toxic.

Yet here we are.


Imagine that your job is to read the worst things humans can say to each other.

Now imagine that you're now not sure that your top level boss will support you when you want to block something.

Now imagine you get asked to do that for longer hours at no extra pay.

I'd be taking the three month severance in a heartbeat.
 
SomethingBetter76
2022-11-16 10:01:06 PM  

WonderDave1: Imagine that your job is to read the worst things humans can say to each other.

-Okay. No beheading or electrocution videos, just words? Nothing with animals or kids? Just CHUD's saying shiatcawk? OK

Now imagine that you're now not sure that your top level boss will support you when you want to block something.

-Wow, the bosses don't have your back? Story of my life. SFW.

Now imagine you get asked to do that for longer hours at no extra pay.

-Oh, well, in that case they can sodomize themselves sideways with a flaming, feces encrusted, level 4 biohazard impregnated, dull, rusty rake and twice on Tuesdays.

I'd be taking the three month severance in a heartbeat.

-Right on, man. Drag up. Your toolbox has wheels for a reason


😎
 
sirrerun
2022-11-16 11:12:04 PM  

brantgoose: DONALD TUMP.

The obvious business and poliical choice, I'd think.


Surely he's never failed at anything.
 
FormlessOne
2022-11-17 12:19:46 AM  

imashark: FormlessOne: "'I'm trying to take the set of actions that maximize the probability for the good of civilization. If I over-allocate time to Tesla at the expense of humanity becoming a multiplanetary species, then I'm not sure that would serve the greater good."

That's an actual quote. This guy's high from sniffing his own farts & proclaiming them perfect.

Does this guy think he's at the helm of the Weyland-Yutani corporation?

What the hell?


Yes. He believes that he's going to save humanity by getting us to Mars. That's his goal; everything he's doing, he believes, is meant to provide the wherewithal for him to save us all.

Elon Musk is an idiot.
 
Smoking GNU [TotalFark]
2022-11-17 12:58:56 AM  

imashark: FormlessOne: "'I'm trying to take the set of actions that maximize the probability for the good of civilization. If I over-allocate time to Tesla at the expense of humanity becoming a multiplanetary species, then I'm not sure that would serve the greater good."

That's an actual quote. This guy's high from sniffing his own farts & proclaiming them perfect.

Does this guy think he's at the helm of the Weyland-Yutani corporation?

What the hell?


So when does walmart buy him?
 
FormlessOne
2022-11-17 1:07:15 AM  

Gergesa: Ok, so he is intent on killing twitter.


Yes. He's not trying to "save" anything. He's going to claim the IP, toss everything else, remake it into what he wants ("Twitter 2.0"), and aggressively defend the IP.
 
Creidiki
2022-11-17 1:34:17 AM  

FormlessOne: Gergesa: Ok, so he is intent on killing twitter.

Yes. He's not trying to "save" anything. He's going to claim the IP, toss everything else, remake it into what he wants ("Twitter 2.0"), and aggressively defend the IP.


If he bankrupts Twitter, wouldn't the IP belong to the creditors?
 
born_yesterday [TotalFark]
2022-11-17 5:27:49 AM  

groppet: So after he shiat all over it and fired half the staff, lost advertisers and now he wants someone else to take the reigns and finish flushing it down the toilet.


The comparisons to Einstein and Copernicus just write themselves
 
Muta
2022-11-17 10:59:56 AM  

FormlessOne: Gergesa: Ok, so he is intent on killing twitter.

Yes. He's not trying to "save" anything. He's going to claim the IP, toss everything else, remake it into what he wants ("Twitter 2.0"), and aggressively defend the IP.


It makes no sense to kill kill Twitter 1.0 while Twitter 2.0 is being developed.  If Twitter 1.0 is running he still has access to all the IP.  What would be the benefit of killing Twitter 1.0?

Musk's management style is to bark orders like a wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man and hope that something works.
 
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