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(Boing Boing)   "Are Mormon college students getting pubic crabs in their armpits?" No. They are smashing like rodents in Burger King bathrooms like every other kid in America   (boingboing.net) divider line
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    More: Unlikely, Hair, Brigham Young University, Chlamydia infection, students' armpit hairs, Rolling Stone, Gumbo Crab user, smattering of TikTokers, itchy little crabs  
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4057 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2022 at 2:05 PM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



76 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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puffy999 [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 1:15:08 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
Martian_Astronomer [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 1:58:08 PM  
Wait, are they smashing (like rodents) in a Burger King bathroom, or are they smashing (like rodents in a Burger King bathroom)? Are the students or the rodents in the bathroom?

/ Also I'm not sure which simile is more unsexy, but whatever.
 
moku9
2022-11-08 2:08:47 PM  
Please don't insult the rodent community by comparing them with mormons.
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 2:08:51 PM  
Seriously? Armpit sex?

I didn't think ejaculation was even permitted before marriage in a religious cult. Every sperm is sacred kind of stuff...no matter what body part it's been ejaculated into or onto...
 
Solty Dog
2022-11-08 2:09:27 PM  
So they've moved on from soaking?
 
UltimaCS
2022-11-08 2:10:29 PM  
They were in the students' armpit hairs. Because sometimes, you still get horny - especially in college - and you gotta find some way to temper those hormones. So you fark someone in the armpit, using their deodorant as a lube. Allegedly.

This would require a male pitcher and a hairy armpitted catcher. One would assume that any free-minded feminist wouldn't also be following silly rules on what kind sex Mormon Jesus can see. A male catcher would know that driving down the Hershey Highway doesn't count if you leave your socks on.
 
nick_papagiorgio
2022-11-08 2:10:34 PM  
Armpit sex, Burger King, Mormons, and crabs.  Drew, we need a new "inexplicable " tag.
 
thealgorerhythm
2022-11-08 2:11:47 PM  
motherjones.comView Full Size
 
gregario
2022-11-08 2:11:48 PM  
Religion is weird.

/and stupid
 
PolyHatSnake
2022-11-08 2:12:35 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
farkitallletitend
2022-11-08 2:13:06 PM  
Armpit offspring is the name of my ska jazz fusion band.
 
EBN-OZN
2022-11-08 2:13:15 PM  
Soaking, armpit-smashing. Going through all this to have sex that's not sex. Why don't they just, you know, have real sex, then lie about it like the Baptists do?
 
Kalyco Jack
2022-11-08 2:13:43 PM  
Burn all religions.
 
Axeofjudgement
2022-11-08 2:14:09 PM  
Note to self.... don't fark the coeds walking around in my neighborhood.
 
DeArmondVI
2022-11-08 2:15:54 PM  
The BYU kids call that "bagpiping"

See also: soaking
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Axeofjudgement
2022-11-08 2:19:05 PM  

DeArmondVI: The BYU kids call that "bagpiping"

See also: soaking[Fark user image image 425x589]


Does that mean the jumper is sacrificial?
 
Guntram Shatterhand
2022-11-08 2:19:56 PM  
Isn't it funny that most religious freaks are right-wing and are biatching about 'being replaced' but have done more damage to their precious white race with all of these prereqs to farking?

It's quite funny how utterly stupid they are.
 
Isitoveryet
2022-11-08 2:20:09 PM  
it's pronounced "more-moms".
 
dk47
2022-11-08 2:20:23 PM  
One can only hope!
 
SirGunslinger
2022-11-08 2:20:26 PM  
Pit crabs are far less dangerous as head crabs; or at least that is what Halflife has taught me.
 
anfrind
2022-11-08 2:21:59 PM  
Everything I know about Mormon sex lives I learned against my will.
 
ElwoodCuse
2022-11-08 2:23:51 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
anuran
2022-11-08 2:25:12 PM  

EBN-OZN: Soaking, armpit-smashing. Going through all this to have sex that's not sex. Why don't they just, you know, have real sex, then lie about it like the Baptists do?


The entire University is full of students who know that if they don't rat out a friend they will get expelled when someone else does
 
winedrinkingman
2022-11-08 2:28:45 PM  

Solty Dog: So they've moved on from soaking?


Typically the BYU students find some weird exception and it goes on for a few years until the old men who run the cult find out and declare it forbidden.

No one actually does the weird sex stuff it is just a way of bringing up sex and finding out how far both of you want to go.  It is basically the starting point of the negotiations and figuring out if your partner is fun or a prude, because heaven forbid they find out you are the kind of creep who wants sex if they are not ready.
 
eKonk
2022-11-08 2:30:20 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Wait, are they smashing (like rodents) in a Burger King bathroom, or are they smashing (like rodents in a Burger King bathroom)? Are the students or the rodents in the bathroom?

/ Also I'm not sure which simile is more unsexy, but whatever.


No, it's more of a valley girl interjection:

"They are smashing [like] rodents in Burger King bathrooms"

or, removing the interjection and prepositional phrase:

"They are smashing rodents"

Now, I'm not sure if "smashing' is used literally or metaphorically in this case. Maybe first one, then the other? I don't know, kids these days are weird...
 
brap [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 2:32:40 PM  
Hmmm.

i.ytimg.comView Full Size


On one hand, I have pubic crabs.

On the other hand, my penis has a powdery fresh scent that I could get accustomed to.
 
gameshowhost [OhFark]
2022-11-08 2:34:56 PM  
SOAKTHREAAAAD!!
 
Fark me all night long
2022-11-08 2:42:56 PM  
Or, you know, just shave. Is that hard?
 
johndalek
2022-11-08 2:43:46 PM  
Public lice??? As opposed to private lice?
 
HairBolus [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 2:45:09 PM  
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armpit_fetishism
Armpit fetishism (also known as maschalagnia) is a type of partialism in which a person is sexually attracted to armpits,[1] which may lead to axillism, or armpit intercourse (sexual activity with one or both armpits).[2]

Both armpits at the same time? How does that work?
 
Im_Gumby
2022-11-08 2:47:35 PM  

DeArmondVI: The BYU kids call that "bagpiping"

See also: soaking[Fark user image 425x589]


OK... going completely pedantic here for these folks: If the "MOTION" is the sinful part, how'd you get the hot dog into the hallway to begin with, smart guy??  The primary insertion requires motion, therefore by your definition has cause the sin.  Withdrawing it likewise is sinful.  You just got a sinful two-fer.

See also:
LaTour - People Are Still Having Sex
Youtube 0ImRyPymRAM
 
Im_Gumby
2022-11-08 2:48:58 PM  

HairBolus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armpit_fetishism
Armpit fetishism (also known as maschalagnia) is a type of partialism in which a person is sexually attracted to armpits,[1] which may lead to axillism, or armpit intercourse (sexual activity with one or both armpits).[2]

Both armpits at the same time? How does that work?


Your mom hosts two sailors concurrently like this all the time.  It's part of her Veteran's Day Package.
 
Mad Canadian
2022-11-08 2:55:42 PM  

HairBolus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armpit_fetishism
Armpit fetishism (also known as maschalagnia) is a type of partialism in which a person is sexually attracted to armpits,[1] which may lead to axillism, or armpit intercourse (sexual activity with one or both armpits).[2]

Both armpits at the same time? How does that work?


Both armpits at the same follows Rule 34 just like everything else.

/I'm not googling that for you...
 
Magnanimous_J
2022-11-08 2:56:56 PM  
I knew a guy whose fetish was armpit sex. His favorite was when they hadn't shaved in a few days, and there was a bit of stubble to work with. Additionally, provided she had two arms, he could invite a buddy to join and they could go halvsies on it.

He loved two things in this world. Crack and cheap hookers. He would take his dilapidated old Cadillac and cruise Aurora Ave in Seattle. He'd pick up a street walker and start driving, they would haggle over the price until he had gone a ways up the road and then he'd make his final offer and say "Otherwise, its a pretty long walk back."

I'm not exaggerating this story in the slightest. He was eventually arrested by the US Secret Service and I'm pretty sure he died in prison.
 
baronbloodbath [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-08 2:59:08 PM  

Mad Canadian: HairBolus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armpit_fetishism
Armpit fetishism (also known as maschalagnia) is a type of partialism in which a person is sexually attracted to armpits,[1] which may lead to axillism, or armpit intercourse (sexual activity with one or both armpits).[2]

Both armpits at the same time? How does that work?

Both armpits at the same follows Rule 34 just like everything else.

/I'm not googling that for you...


War is good for business?

I know the Ferengi have ear fetishes, but even they would be grossed out by armpit fetishists.
 
puffy999 [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 3:01:41 PM  

Magnanimous_J: I knew a guy whose fetish was armpit sex. His favorite was when they hadn't shaved in a few days, and there was a bit of stubble to work with. Additionally, provided she had two arms, he could invite a buddy to join and they could go halvsies on it.

He loved two things in this world. Crack and cheap hookers. He would take his dilapidated old Cadillac and cruise Aurora Ave in Seattle. He'd pick up a street walker and start driving, they would haggle over the price until he had gone a ways up the road and then he'd make his final offer and say "Otherwise, its a pretty long walk back."

I'm not exaggerating this story in the slightest. He was eventually arrested by the US Secret Service and I'm pretty sure he died in prison.


Terry Ridgeway is still alive
 
Prof. Frink [BareFark]
2022-11-08 3:03:46 PM  

Im_Gumby: HairBolus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armpit_fetishism
Armpit fetishism (also known as maschalagnia) is a type of partialism in which a person is sexually attracted to armpits,[1] which may lead to axillism, or armpit intercourse (sexual activity with one or both armpits).[2]

Both armpits at the same time? How does that work?

Your mom hosts two sailors concurrently like this all the time.  It's part of her Veteran's Day Package.


/pictures a gymnast on parallel bars that are actually penises.
 
Fireproof [OhFark]
2022-11-08 3:05:10 PM  
"Are Mormon college students getting pubic crabs in their armpits?"

When a headline asks a question...
 
UltimaCS
2022-11-08 3:05:47 PM  

Magnanimous_J: I knew a guy whose fetish was armpit sex. His favorite was when they hadn't shaved in a few days, and there was a bit of stubble to work with. Additionally, provided she had two arms, he could invite a buddy to join and they could go halvsies on it.

He loved two things in this world. Crack and cheap hookers. He would take his dilapidated old Cadillac and cruise Aurora Ave in Seattle. He'd pick up a street walker and start driving, they would haggle over the price until he had gone a ways up the road and then he'd make his final offer and say "Otherwise, its a pretty long walk back."

I'm not exaggerating this story in the slightest. He was eventually arrested by the US Secret Service and I'm pretty sure he died in prison.


Nancy Reagan knew what she was worth, and she wasn't going to let some scrubby John try to haggle her down.
 
Fireproof [OhFark]
2022-11-08 3:06:23 PM  
worldwideinterweb.comView Full Size
 
Magnanimous_J
2022-11-08 3:11:00 PM  

UltimaCS: Magnanimous_J: I knew a guy whose fetish was armpit sex. His favorite was when they hadn't shaved in a few days, and there was a bit of stubble to work with. Additionally, provided she had two arms, he could invite a buddy to join and they could go halvsies on it.

He loved two things in this world. Crack and cheap hookers. He would take his dilapidated old Cadillac and cruise Aurora Ave in Seattle. He'd pick up a street walker and start driving, they would haggle over the price until he had gone a ways up the road and then he'd make his final offer and say "Otherwise, its a pretty long walk back."

I'm not exaggerating this story in the slightest. He was eventually arrested by the US Secret Service and I'm pretty sure he died in prison.

Nancy Reagan knew what she was worth, and she wasn't going to let some scrubby John try to haggle her down.


He would have really loved that joke.
 
Boo_Guy
2022-11-08 3:21:04 PM  

HairBolus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armpit_fetishism
Armpit fetishism (also known as maschalagnia) is a type of partialism in which a person is sexually attracted to armpits,[1] which may lead to axillism, or armpit intercourse (sexual activity with one or both armpits).[2]

Both armpits at the same time? How does that work?


Two armpits at the same time!
Fark user imageView Full Size


This is also a thing that exists for some reason: https://www.reddit.com/r/CelebrityArmpits/ -PNSFW
 
anuran
2022-11-08 3:23:45 PM  

HairBolus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armpit_fetishism
Armpit fetishism (also known as maschalagnia) is a type of partialism in which a person is sexually attracted to armpits,[1] which may lead to axillism, or armpit intercourse (sexual activity with one or both armpits).[2]

Both armpits at the same time? How does that work?


Variety.
 
studebaker hoch
2022-11-08 3:42:28 PM  
I'm a geek.
I like the girls on Zoom.
 
The Wack [BareFark]
2022-11-08 3:51:24 PM  
Because sometimes, you still get horny - especially in college - and you gotta find some way to temper those hormones. So you fark someone in the armpit, using their deodorant as a lube.

media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
Schmerd1948 [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 3:58:13 PM  

Magnanimous_J: UltimaCS: Magnanimous_J: I knew a guy whose fetish was armpit sex. His favorite was when they hadn't shaved in a few days, and there was a bit of stubble to work with. Additionally, provided she had two arms, he could invite a buddy to join and they could go halvsies on it.

He loved two things in this world. Crack and cheap hookers. He would take his dilapidated old Cadillac and cruise Aurora Ave in Seattle. He'd pick up a street walker and start driving, they would haggle over the price until he had gone a ways up the road and then he'd make his final offer and say "Otherwise, its a pretty long walk back."

I'm not exaggerating this story in the slightest. He was eventually arrested by the US Secret Service and I'm pretty sure he died in prison.

Nancy Reagan knew what she was worth, and she wasn't going to let some scrubby John try to haggle her down.

He would have really loved that joke.


Armpit stubble sounds...uninviting. You'll get a rash. I guess your friend liked that, too.
 
bughunter [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-11-08 4:01:32 PM  
Wait, this wasn't covered in the Kama Sutra...

So are they restricted to the missionary armpit sex position?  Or can they go doggy pit?

What about armpit 69?

Lesbian pit scissoring?

Damn, now I realize there's a whole department of Rule 34 I haven't explored yet.

/brb
 
flamingboard
2022-11-08 4:02:22 PM  

steklo: Seriously? Armpit sex?

I didn't think ejaculation was even permitted before marriage in a religious cult. Every sperm is sacred kind of stuff...no matter what body part it's been ejaculated into or onto...


Look up soaking and then find yourself a cuck to be your jumper.
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 4:04:33 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
bughunter [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-11-08 4:12:20 PM  
So you've heard of the Hawaiian Musclefark?

This one's the Mormon Musclefark.

i.pinimg.comView Full Size


/would smash
//or be smashed?
 
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