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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Chicago mayor awards $259,367 grant to finance program designed to help ex-prisoners become beekeepers   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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2895 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Dec 2004 at 1:49 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

79 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-12-15 10:31:10 AM  
Only catch is, they don't give them any protective clothing.
2004-12-15 10:46:04 AM  
Hey, good for them.
2004-12-15 12:00:22 PM  
ya know.. since prison is supposed to rehabilitate people.. why do companies make it so hard for ex cons to get jobs?
if these people truly get "fixed".. then they are back to normal eh? unless the powers that be don't truly believe their system works? hrmm..

beekeepers.. cool.
give em something to do or else they will turn right back to crime.

a guy in jail for B&E.. gets out.. can't get a job.. goes back to robbery to support himself. break the cycle.
unless theres a conspiracy to keep bad people in the judicial system in order to...-ut oh.. conspiracy theory..nevermind
2004-12-15 12:09:20 PM  
Big deal, they're used to collecting honey.

In thier bungholes.
2004-12-15 01:51:13 PM  
LOL Alexis!

Chicago is so farked. I'm amazed people still live there.
2004-12-15 01:53:45 PM  
When you outlaw dogs that shoot bees from their mouths, only ex-criminals will have dogs that shoot bees from their mouths.

/had to be said
2004-12-15 01:54:06 PM  
Keeps the busy as a bee I assume.

/kill me
2004-12-15 01:54:13 PM  
Did anyone else read that as "barkeepers" instead of "beekeepers"?

I was about to go to Chicago and commit a crime.
2004-12-15 01:54:32 PM  
To the get-away beemobile.
2004-12-15 01:55:00 PM  
I wonder if anyone else thought of this thread and the accompanying story when they read this?
2004-12-15 01:57:13 PM  
I thought it said bookkeepers at first glance.

This sounds like a great program and a progressive solution to what seems to be a growing crime epidemic in America.
2004-12-15 01:57:17 PM  
I guess the reasoning is that beekeeping jobs can't be outsourced, despite a lack of demand.
2004-12-15 01:59:06 PM  
This might make those upstart New Zealanders think twice before they mess with the US bee pollen market.

Hmmm, maybe the US should hire ex-cons to sail in the Americas Cup?
2004-12-15 01:59:15 PM  
I think this is money well-spent. Pay now, or pay later when you have to incarcerate these people again.
2004-12-15 01:59:16 PM  
Daley is an Asshat. Period.
2004-12-15 01:59:18 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-15 02:02:09 PM  
Hey look, it's not my fault shiat is expensive...

Any grant for any program whatsoever would have been at least six figures and you all KNOW it.
2004-12-15 02:03:52 PM  
Meh, so now they wear masks and steal honey. Probably similar to what got them incarcerated in the first place.
2004-12-15 02:03:56 PM  

I often listen to people from an entirely different part of the country when they make broad and indefensible statements about local politicians.
Got any opionions on Kip Holden?
2004-12-15 02:04:20 PM  
...and producers of the Howard Stern show, for when they bring in hot chicks.
"My freak, the Beekeeper!"

Also, don't talk bad about Chicago, or I'll be forced to kill you, then count your vote twice.
2004-12-15 02:06:26 PM  
Daley is a genius, Period. He has such a death grip on Chicago that he will probably still get 85% of the 15% that actually turn out to vote for him.

You asshats want Daley out of office? then Turn out at the polls. Otherwise, STFU
2004-12-15 02:06:26 PM  
Hey, why not? If these folks have paid their dues to society, we may as well put them to work when they get out of prison. It's better than having them remain unemployed, trying to figure out ways to "get money."
2004-12-15 02:10:37 PM  
Did I say he has a Death grip on Chicago? I meant to say the entire state.

Calling all fellow liberals, your paridise awaits in Illinois. Thank you all you crooked Republicans for the Licence for bribe scandal. We liberals now control the state.

2004-12-15 02:11:15 PM  
i've been thinking of becomeing a beer keeper.

Seriously, I brew my own mead and I buy my honey form a local beekeeper by the gallon.

If you become a beekeeper you have to register with the county. They soemtimes call on you to come remove beehives and stuff. shrug.
2004-12-15 02:12:12 PM  
Because If you comit a crime, you should be punished forever, is that what I'm hearing?
2004-12-15 02:16:44 PM  
Yes, good morning, hello. Hello, how are you? Excuse me...hello....AAAAAAAH I'M COVERED IN BEEEEEEEES!!! HEEEEEEELP!!!

Seriously though, good for them. Somebody ought to be doing this sort of thing. My brother who recently got himself out of the pokey said they gave him a 2 day stay certificate for a shiatty hotel, bus fair and a kick out the door when he got out. He was instructed to report back in two weeks with proof of a permanent residence. Only problem is, ex-con = no job, no job = no $$$, no $$$ = no housing. So you basically get kicked out onto the streets with nowhere to go and no way to get a job to support yourself and nobody seems to care. Oh, but don't commit anymore crime.

Our system could use more programs like this one and more non-profit groups like Homeboy Industries to help ex-offenders to get jobs. It would certainly help with the recidivism rate, moreso than two nights in a hotel and bus fare.
2004-12-15 02:17:55 PM  
Goddamnit. Next thing you know they will be allowing these ex-cons to go to movies and vote too.
2004-12-15 02:19:08 PM  
Yeah, I heard about this. It seems to be creating quite a buzz.

/im sorry.
2004-12-15 02:21:12 PM  
Pooh Beah: "Oh, bother! That farking biatch snitched on me again?" I'll have Eeyore fark her up whilst I feast on all this hunny."
2004-12-15 02:21:51 PM  
This is how you know your partner really loves you:

[image from too old to be available]

HEY LOOK AT ME! (not really me)[image from too old to be available]

2004-12-15 02:26:13 PM  
Let's not make too much fun of beekeepers. It's actualy a fairly lucrative job in agricultural areas. You move the hives by truck to the fields, let the bees polinate and get paid. The bees come back to the hive at night, you pack them up (put a tarp over them so they think its night) and move on to the next one.

In addition, from this you get honey which you can sell.

It's honest work and opportunity. Something most convicts don't get much of (and often for good reason). For those willing to become solid citizens, good for them.
2004-12-15 02:27:56 PM  
I like my prisoners like I like my coffee...

2004-12-15 02:29:22 PM  
Prison guard dogs.

[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-15 02:30:24 PM  
Will they drive a Beemobile (chevy)?
2004-12-15 02:30:29 PM  
"According to a 2001 study by the North Lawndale Employment Network, as many as 57 percent of the adults in North Lawndale were in prison, on probation or on parole, and the unemployment rate was 26 percent."

Sounds like a great place to raise a kid.
2004-12-15 02:33:39 PM  
Think this is another example of wasteful coddling of criminals? Let me give you an example in the trickle-down economy of crime prevention.

Joe Excon gets out of jail, has no program to help him out, and decides to commit a simple smash-n-grab to pay the rent. Bob Storeowner's left with (1) the cost replacing the merchandise (2) the loss of the profit from selling the merchandise and (3) now gets to face a hike on his business' insurance and security rates.

Suppose this program keeps one Joe Excon from committing a smash-n-grab. It's paid for itself in terms of the trickle-down benefits of crime prevention.

Most violent crimes are committed by recidivistic offenders. Break the cycle of recidivisim, and odds are pretty good you get a productive, reformed member of society. Patronize stores and services which hire ex-cons.
2004-12-15 02:34:26 PM  
"Do Be a 'Do Bee'. Don't Be a 'Don't -Bee'."

[image from too old to be available]

"I always do everything right.
I never do anything wrong.
I'm a Romper Room Do Bee;
A Do Bee all day long!"
2004-12-15 02:35:01 PM  
ah yes.. love da honey...
2004-12-15 02:37:35 PM  
Having worked for a cable company in Chicago that was largely staffed by ex-felons who would install your cable, then come back later and steal your vcr, I say good for Mayor Daley and good for the bees and thank god I don't work for that cable company anymore.
2004-12-15 02:39:32 PM  
I'm sure its a relief to have any type of job in prison.
2004-12-15 02:40:01 PM  
"Beekeepers, yes ... They've gotta want to be: - I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don't want them to get away, I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom ... I want bees on elastic, so when they get pulled, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps ... and their footsteps were like this ... eeaarrrkk! I'm covered in bees! Aah! Covered in bees!
'Cause that's your job, isn't it? They must lose it - beekeepers must lose it occasionally. You know, you're there, you've got the netting, you've got 2.000 bees ... bzzzzz ... and essentially you're trying to steal honey:

- Bzzzzz...
- Morning, morning ... hello ... hello, knock-knock, coming in, hello ... Look! There's a Ferrari over there - can you see that Ferrari? [stealing the honey] Yes, it's very fast, isn't it? Well, good morning, thank you!

He must be walking back with all these bees around, and at some point, he must go:

- What the fnck am I doing? I'm covered in bees! Help! I'm covered in bees!

And you don't get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go:

- Hey! Oh, you're new here, aren't you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee - I can get you a coffee ...You know, I like my coffee like I like my women - in a plastic cup!

Beekeepers can't do that! 2,000 bees ... bzzzzz ...

- Hello there, you in the street! You're new, aren't you?
- Huh?
- Do you want a cup of coffee? It's no problem! Bzzzzz ... No real problem ...
- I don't want a cup of coffee from you! You're covered in bees!
- I like my women like I like my coffee ... covered in bees! Now, back off, back off ... eeaarrrkk!

- Eddie Izzard
2004-12-15 02:44:40 PM  
Google "honey alqaeda" Launder money and support terrorism through honey sales. Good choice.
2004-12-15 02:49:44 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Unavailable for comment
2004-12-15 02:50:47 PM  
A few thoughts:

1. $250,000 is not a large sum of money, in the context of big-city gubmint.

2. Beekeeping is a noble profession with thousands of years of history behind it. There is nothing wrong with being a beekeeper (except you look like a Talibani's date).

3. Honey is a lucrative cash crop, and locally produced honey is good for your immune system (for some damn reason that I read about somewhere).

4. Honey never goes bad. Keep it on your shelf for years and's still good.

5. I hope lots of people don't start posting "Beard of Bees" type pictures, because that always creeps me out.
2004-12-15 02:51:19 PM  
"Do earwigs make chutney?"
2004-12-15 02:58:39 PM  
Hmm. Chicago prison. Bee keeping. I have the image of the Blues Brothers in those bee suits stuck in my head.
2004-12-15 03:06:03 PM  
Chicago is so farked. I'm amazed people still live there.

What, exactly, is your objection to Chicago? Many people regard it as one of the most liveable big cities in the world. Unless you have a problem with big cities in which case you should probably just say that.
2004-12-15 03:09:20 PM  
Semi-threadkjack re: Doofus Daley. The farkhead that closed Miegs Field spent 2 million in airport DEVELOPMENT money to tear up and dispose of the runway. It's a misuse of the funds and the FAA says Chicago may have to pony up triple that amount for penalties.

Another feather in the fiscal management cap, alongside multi-million park, um, Millenium park....

Daley's reponse: "We had a duty to return the land to it's natural state"

So, Northerly Island is going to be returned to the lake bottom where it was originally dredged? FARKTARD! Of course, he said the reason he closed Meigs was that it was a threat to national security, those wee cessnas and pipers and citations could, you know, hit buildings and stuff like New York... For some reason, the three larger commercial airports with the big jets like those used in N.Y., which are 2 minutes flying time away from the same buildings, and NOT a hazard.

Farktard to the nth power, burn, Daley, burn in hell....
2004-12-15 03:09:48 PM  
>>>Chicago is so farked. I'm amazed people still live there.

Chicago is for my money the best city in the States. San Francisco is a close 2nd, everything else sucks our farts.
2004-12-15 03:10:51 PM  
I think this is a great idea. If the state can help cons get jobs that last and can pay the bills they aren't going to need to go on a life of crime.

Prison, in most cases needs to focus on rehab as much as it does punishment.
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