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(Daily Mail)   Neil Gaiman and his wife Amanda Palmer's 11-year "open marriage" is about to get much more open   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
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2664 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 08 Nov 2022 at 7:50 AM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-11-08 8:01:11 AM  
Polyamory practitioners are 99% predatory, or cuckholdry fetish masks.
 
2022-11-08 8:10:16 AM  
11 years is still longer than many traditional marriages, so even though lots of people will focus on the open marriage part, *shrug*. Sounds like they had a good run for a minor celeb couple.
 
2022-11-08 8:10:53 AM  
An open marriage isn't really a marriage.
 
2022-11-08 8:16:54 AM  
Was it about butt stuff Neil? I bet it was butt stuff.
 
2022-11-08 8:22:12 AM  

Night Train to Wakanda: Polyamory practitioners are 99% predatory, or cuckholdry fetish masks.


no...but please continue to believe whatever b.s. narrative helps you
 
2022-11-08 8:34:41 AM  

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: An open marriage isn't really a marriage.


There's still the cohabitation and co-mingled finances.  And there can be children, too.

But if none of those apply either, I'd be more than a little inclined to agree.
 
2022-11-08 8:35:03 AM  
YES!

Sorry, but I always disliked their coupling. Call it jealousy.

If Amanda would like to console herself with my wife and me, we're open to considering it. We're not in an open handfasting, but we're both bisexual enough and pagan enough to consider special circumstances.
 
2022-11-08 8:35:15 AM  
um they've been split for farking ages. and amanda palmer is a nutcase.
 
2022-11-08 8:42:48 AM  
The article stated what he was famous for, they should really state what she was famous for as well.

Maybe NSFW?  (I don't know how prudish your work is!)

Amanda Palmer - Map Of Tasmania
Youtube s-GQ63NStxk
 
2022-11-08 8:48:52 AM  
I've met both Neil gaiman and Amanda Palmer on a few occasions. He is extraordinarily nice, soft-spoken, incredibly intelligent and remarkably talented. Amanda Palmer is certainly talented, but she always has this disconcerting vibe of somebody who's dancing on the fine edge of reality and who has enormous emotional and mental battles. I wish them both luck however. Sometimes the things that draw you together and the things that end up pushing you apart and a marriage of people so opposite as they are is always a struggle to maintain.
 
2022-11-08 8:56:05 AM  

cocozilla: Night Train to Wakanda: Polyamory practitioners are 99% predatory, or cuckholdry fetish masks.

no...but please continue to believe whatever b.s. narrative helps you


What is it helping me with? Keeping clear of sexual predators emotionally abusive couples?
 
2022-11-08 8:59:43 AM  
This will free up more of his time to be comics' hottest writer of the mid 1990's among pale people with weirdly limited diets due to imagined allergies.

And it will free up more of her time to be mostly known as the weird-looking lady who used to be married to Neil Gaiman.

So they both win out, in a sense.
 
2022-11-08 9:16:25 AM  

Night Train to Wakanda: cocozilla: Night Train to Wakanda: Polyamory practitioners are 99% predatory, or cuckholdry fetish masks.

no...but please continue to believe whatever b.s. narrative helps you

What is it helping me with? Keeping clear of sexual predators emotionally abusive couples?


Last time I saw a projector this big I was in grade school.
 
2022-11-08 9:19:06 AM  
Is her neck really long or am I on drugs?
 
2022-11-08 9:33:35 AM  

Unsung_Hero: Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: An open marriage isn't really a marriage.

There's still the cohabitation and co-mingled finances.  And there can be children, too.

But if none of those apply either, I'd be more than a little inclined to agree.


I've been married for a decade, we share finances, have two kids and a mortgage

we're poly and I've had a long term secondary partner (a girlfriend basically) for several years now. it works out pretty well. "open marriages" are usually pretty skeevy but polyamory works really well as long as everyone acknowledges the futility of se ual jealousy
 
2022-11-08 9:34:18 AM  

Incog_Neeto: Is her neck really long or am I on drugs?


no it helps her get her head up her ass, you can relax.
 
2022-11-08 9:36:08 AM  

Boojum2k: Last time I saw a projector this big I was in grade school.


If everything's a projector your bulb must be dim.
 
2022-11-08 9:42:02 AM  
Have met her in person twice.  She is a nasty piece of work.
 
2022-11-08 9:56:39 AM  
I never got what they saw in each other, divorce still suck though
 
2022-11-08 10:01:18 AM  

Ker_Thwap: The article stated what he was famous for, they should really state what she was famous for as well.


Opening line of the article: "Best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman and his singer wife Amanda Palmer have announced they are to divorce after their open marriage broke down."

Later in the article: "He began dating Miss Palmer, 46, one of half of the 'punk cabaret' duet The Dresden Dolls, in 2009."
 
2022-11-08 10:06:42 AM  

gnarlywizzard: Unsung_Hero: Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: An open marriage isn't really a marriage.

There's still the cohabitation and co-mingled finances.  And there can be children, too.

But if none of those apply either, I'd be more than a little inclined to agree.

I've been married for a decade, we share finances, have two kids and a mortgage

we're poly and I've had a long term secondary partner (a girlfriend basically) for several years now. it works out pretty well. "open marriages" are usually pretty skeevy but polyamory works really well as long as everyone acknowledges the futility of se ual jealousy


What are your girlfriend's long term plans in life?

Having kids with you?
 
2022-11-08 10:15:27 AM  

karl2025: Ker_Thwap: The article stated what he was famous for, they should really state what she was famous for as well.

Opening line of the article: "Best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman and his singer wife Amanda Palmer have announced they are to divorce after their open marriage broke down."

Later in the article: "He began dating Miss Palmer, 46, one of half of the 'punk cabaret' duet The Dresden Dolls, in 2009."


I was just looking for an excuse to post the video.
 
2022-11-08 10:19:28 AM  
People in this thread: "See Polyamory doesn't work!"

Data: "Almost half of all marriage's fail!" (https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm)

I think the key here is to understand that no lifestyle "works". Being decent, loving anf honest with the people you care about and choosing people who feel the same exact way is what "works". That's not easy HOWEVER you frame it.

/not polyamorous
//been married 19 years
///got lucky I chose well
 
2022-11-08 10:27:41 AM  

cocozilla: Always putting what her needs are ahead of everyone and more than happy to exploit people


Fark user imageView Full Size


Guilty complexes are a hell of a thing to live with I guess.
 
2022-11-08 10:49:38 AM  

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: An open marriage isn't really a marriage.


Care to elaborate why two consenting adults can't love each other, but also agree that there's other hot people out there in the world they want to get with but just don't want to spend more than a night with them?
 
2022-11-08 10:54:43 AM  
I went his Selected Shorts reading ages ago in NYC. It was awesome. I brought something for signing that he didn't usually see and he stopped and told me a story about it. Happy fangirl all the way home.
 
2022-11-08 10:56:02 AM  
She desperately needs people to pay attention to her.

I'm sure there's an emotional letter on her Patreon.
 
2022-11-08 10:58:17 AM  
He's 61 and she's 46? Open marriage?

I would bet $5 the open marriage was her idea.

But now his dick doesn't work anymore and she's heard all of his stories so all that's left to do is take half his money.
 
2022-11-08 11:01:46 AM  

Wine Sipping Elitist: He's 61 and she's 46? Open marriage?

I would bet $5 the open marriage was her idea.

But now his dick doesn't work anymore and she's heard all of his stories so all that's left to do is take half his money.


Yes. There is no other explanation. Thanks for the analysis.
 
2022-11-08 11:02:13 AM  

firsttiger: I went his Selected Shorts reading ages ago in NYC. It was awesome. I brought something for signing that he didn't usually see and he stopped and told me a story about it. Happy fangirl all the way home.


What was it he signed if I can pry and stay on topic a bit?
 
2022-11-08 11:07:10 AM  
mrs mcmnky went to high school with Palmer.

That's all I got.
 
2022-11-08 11:07:11 AM  

MDI_BugMan: Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: An open marriage isn't really a marriage.

Care to elaborate why two consenting adults can't love each other, but also agree that there's other hot people out there in the world they want to get with but just don't want to spend more than a night with them?


If an Open Marriage was really Marriage then it would be called Marriage and not Open Marriage.

I mean, you would have to have the perfect relationship to make that work.

From my experience, one person in a relationship usually loves the other more than the other loves them. You can visually see this by who "leans in" in their pictures. The one leaning in is usually not the person who wants an open marriage, but they will agree to it because they love the other and don't want to lose them. They probably won't seek out other partners and then it's not an open marriage, it's "I let my partner do what they want so they don't leave me".

Which is really sad.
 
2022-11-08 11:07:56 AM  

capt.snicklefritz: Wine Sipping Elitist: He's 61 and she's 46? Open marriage?

I would bet $5 the open marriage was her idea.

But now his dick doesn't work anymore and she's heard all of his stories so all that's left to do is take half his money.

Yes. There is no other explanation. Thanks for the analysis.


You're welcome! I'll be here all day with more insight :)
 
2022-11-08 11:24:13 AM  
Tobias:
You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised... a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed but free to explore extramarital encounters.

Lindsay:
Well, did it work for those people?

Tobias:
No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it *might* work for us.
 
2022-11-08 11:32:29 AM  

Wine Sipping Elitist: capt.snicklefritz: Wine Sipping Elitist: He's 61 and she's 46? Open marriage?

I would bet $5 the open marriage was her idea.

But now his dick doesn't work anymore and she's heard all of his stories so all that's left to do is take half his money.

Yes. There is no other explanation. Thanks for the analysis.

You're welcome! I'll be here all day with more insight :)


Having your head firmly planted in your colon may be internal sight but it ain't insight.
 
2022-11-08 11:46:12 AM  
This doesn't really surprise me. She seemed like...a lot. Probably fun for a bit, but after a while it generally wears you down.
 
2022-11-08 11:54:40 AM  

madgonad: What are your girlfriend's long term plans in life?

Having kids with you?


I'm fixed so I can't have any more kids.

her long term plans are to finish school and start a career AFAIK
 
2022-11-08 12:00:44 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: People in this thread: "See Polyamory doesn't work!"

Data: "Almost half of all marriage's fail!" (https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm)

I think the key here is to understand that no lifestyle "works". Being decent, loving anf honest with the people you care about and choosing people who feel the same exact way is what "works". That's not easy HOWEVER you frame it.

/not polyamorous
//been married 19 years
///got lucky I chose well


Sure half of marriages fail... but how many open marriages succeeds?

Data shows that open relationships tend to work best in the short term, while open marriages have a low success rate. Relationship expert and psychotherapist Neil Wilkie told Red Magazine: "it is said that less than 1% of couples are in open marriages. Twenty percent of couples have experimented with consensual non-monogamy [but] open marriage has a 92% failure rateEighty percent of people in open marriages experience jealousy of the other."
Sources (ymmv)

Now this doesn't mean that three or more people can't be in a marriage: but that's the issue.  An open marriage means the third person is on the side...with no actual responsibilities.  And in the "open relationship" the one who can't get as much as the other one, feels left out.
 
2022-11-08 12:01:02 PM  

Wine Sipping Elitist: I mean, you would have to have the perfect relationship to make that work.


I my experience it's monogamy which requires a perfect partner.

your one partner is expected to meet all of your emotional needs, your romantic needs, your sexual needs, your social needs, as well as be a contributing life partner to the household, hold a job probably and planning for the future. and youre doing this with one person FOREVER

to me those kinds of basic-ass marriage vows are stupid to make and just set people up for failure. you cant be everything monogamy expects you to be for your partner. it's nigh impossible for regular people. not to mention sexual jealousy is predicated on bronze age Christian ideas about women as property
 
2022-11-08 12:01:12 PM  

gnarlywizzard: Unsung_Hero: Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: An open marriage isn't really a marriage.

There's still the cohabitation and co-mingled finances.  And there can be children, too.

But if none of those apply either, I'd be more than a little inclined to agree.

I've been married for a decade, we share finances, have two kids and a mortgage

we're poly and I've had a long term secondary partner (a girlfriend basically) for several years now. it works out pretty well. "open marriages" are usually pretty skeevy but polyamory works really well as long as everyone acknowledges the futility of se ual jealousy


My wife and I are poly.  We have been together for 12+ years and have a son together.  She has a boyfriend that lives with us now 5+ years and shares rent and such and we are all good friends.  My girlfriend of 4+ years comes over and hangs out and stays the night at least twice a week.  My wife's boyfriend was married to a lady my wife was seeing originally.  Long story short - the guy woke up to how abusive his wife was - now ex - and left her (rightfully).  My girl friend just divorced her husband of 10+ years because he never worked, didn't clean the house and barely cooked, and was vanilla AF.  She was completely dissatisfied and he wasn't willing to change.  But oh, they were sort of poly as well but with limits, they had a girlfriend they shared for a while but he wouldn't let her date other men unless it meant he could get to the girl.  They are now divorced and even their kids are happier for it.

The only thing I've even been has been an example of what healthier relationships look like where you actually care for the well-being of the other person.  When these relationships break, they break for the same reasons mono relationships break - incompatibilities, selfish behaviors and habits, lack of communication.  I've been the catalyst for several relationship breakups by example of what a better looks and functions like.

Yes, there are predators - men and women.  In the community we call them Unicorn hunters or PolyF@#kery.  The first is a couple looking for a female to add that ends up being a toy to use and then put away when not convenient.  The second falls into swingers which as long as they are upfront to their ends, you go in knowing and aware and not gamed. There are predators in all communities which is why we form communities of trust.  There is a Venn diagram of poly and kink crowd.  We are doublely more cautious in the kink crowd because of the potential of abuse with power play.  Some people aren't playing and they can be dangerous.

/Ignorance is mankind's greatest sin.
 
2022-11-08 12:03:11 PM  
We are all assuming Amanda was the issue.  For all we know Neil could have hurt her, badly, as he has admitted.

It could be they both hurt eachother.
 
2022-11-08 12:06:25 PM  

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: An open marriage isn't really a marriage.


It's not for you to say what someone else's relationship means, even if you think it's icky.
 
2022-11-08 12:12:21 PM  
People here and their insults and name calling.

I told you for years that Bill Murray was a PoS and he's finally being brought into the open with all his unwanted sexual advances, groping women, etc.

I was right then, and have a good chance of being right now.

But keep on letting your fanatical fandom control your decision making.
 
2022-11-08 12:15:10 PM  

sitesmithscott: I've been the catalyst for several relationship breakups by example of what a better looks and functions like.

Yes, there are predators - men and women.


Sure are.
 
2022-11-08 12:16:08 PM  
Yes, he could suck ---but lotsa folks seem to notice she's a sociopath and narcissist
 
2022-11-08 12:18:09 PM  
I can't speak for the rest of anyone in an open or polyamory relationship. I just know if I was really into my partner I would have a very difficult time being receptive to them being with someone else. No knock on the notion itself and I believe there are people who can accomplish iat, i just have a hard time seeing me as one of them.
 
2022-11-08 12:19:22 PM  

Trik: People here and their insults and name calling.

I told you for years that Bill Murray was a PoS and he's finally being brought into the open with all his unwanted sexual advances, groping women, etc.

I was right then, and have a good chance of being right now.

But keep on letting your fanatical fandom control your decision making.


Can I still enjoy his fictional characters, who never do anything the film code prohibits?
 
2022-11-08 12:25:52 PM  
FWIW, they were forcibly separated by COVID for a long time. At the beginning of the pandemic, he was in the UK to start a new project and she wound up stuck in New Zealand with their son. They have both mentioned a certain sense of resentment over it- she that she pretty much became a single parent overnight and he that he lost so much time with his child.

I'm not a shrink but I imagine that kind of long term separation and the resulting emotions can damage a relationship.
 
2022-11-08 12:31:49 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: FWIW, they were forcibly separated by COVID for a long time. At the beginning of the pandemic, he was in the UK to start a new project and she wound up stuck in New Zealand with their son. They have both mentioned a certain sense of resentment over it- she that she pretty much became a single parent overnight and he that he lost so much time with his child.

I'm not a shrink but I imagine that kind of long term separation and the resulting emotions can damage a relationship.


FTFA

Gaiman hit the headlines in 2020 after leaving Palmer and their son in New Zealand during lockdown to travel 11,000 miles to his home on the Isle of Skye.
He said he and Palmer had found themselves 'in a rough place' before he left, adding: 'My fault, I'm afraid, I'd hurt her feelings very badly and... we agreed we needed to give each other some space.'
 
2022-11-08 12:36:35 PM  

Trik: People here and their insults and name calling.

I told you for years that Bill Murray was a PoS and he's finally being brought into the open with all his unwanted sexual advances, groping women, etc.

I was right then, and have a good chance of being right now.

But keep on letting your fanatical fandom control your decision making.


Weird flex bruh
 
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