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(Willamette Week)   Things to worry about in Portland: your car being broken into, lobster uprising, and of course your landlord sneaking into your own apartment wearing a Michael Myers costume   (wweek.com) divider line
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    More: Murica, Slasher film, Justin Valdivia, Valdivia's death Sept., horror film, Halloween, John Carpenter, Horror film, The Guest  
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2600 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2022 at 4:05 AM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



25 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
MusicMakeMyHeadPound [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-08 3:03:07 AM  
On second thought, let's not go to Portland. It is a silly place.
 
maddermaxx
2022-11-08 4:12:02 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
sensitive yet dangerous
2022-11-08 4:13:22 AM  
The lobstahs wah plannin to become a NUCLEAH POWAH!

/just another one of Captain Eddie's bahbon-induced hallucinations
 
70Ford
2022-11-08 4:14:49 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
ctighe2353
2022-11-08 4:15:25 AM  
So a tenant feared for his life so he "moved out" and stayed as a guest?  Seems like he feared paying rent.
Funny as hell he had a sword for protection and his painting/shoebox alarm worked.  This guy must have thought home alone was a documentary.
 
Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist
2022-11-08 4:17:17 AM  
...who was known for his "movie-star good looks" and "obnoxious pranks."

LOL, good one, bro!
 
somniferous sloth
2022-11-08 4:43:04 AM  

sensitive yet dangerous: The lobstahs wah plannin to become a NUCLEAH POWAH!

/just another one of Captain Eddie's bahbon-induced hallucinations


Wrong portland
/or is that the joke?
//I'm tired, let's just go with that
 
anuran
2022-11-08 4:47:33 AM  
Burglary against a dwelling/armed home invasion robbery. Escalating violence over time. Ticks enough boxes for a self defense bingo. Sorry Sword Guy had to do it, but asshole FA and FO
 
Some Junkie Cosmonaut
2022-11-08 5:11:05 AM  

ctighe2353: So a tenant feared for his life so he "moved out" and stayed as a guest?  Seems like he feared paying rent.
Funny as hell he had a sword for protection and his painting/shoebox alarm worked.  This guy must have thought home alone was a documentary.


Something as bone-basic as a "Shiat falls down and makes noise" alarm actually works just fine.  Doesn't do much else for you but that it'll do, reliably.  Almost impossible to "disarm" too from outside most of the time.  Sometimes the old tricks are best.  As for the sword, he put that where he could get to it because the guy had already tried to break in while drunk and otherwise made himself as obnoxious as hell.  And then the fool busts in in a Halloween mask while to all appearances carrying a gun and definitely carrying a hammer?!  This isn't exactly "OMG deadbeat tenant WTF?" time here

/hell even if it had been
//bust in on someone to all appearances strapped and ready to go in a mask?
///I'd do my damndest to fark them the hell up too before I became a statistic
 
sensitive yet dangerous
2022-11-08 5:13:02 AM  

somniferous sloth: sensitive yet dangerous: The lobstahs wah plannin to become a NUCLEAH POWAH!

/just another one of Captain Eddie's bahbon-induced hallucinations

Wrong portland
/or is that the joke?
//I'm tired, let's just go with that


I didn't bother to check which Portland. Given that it involved a dude getting killed with a sword I should've guessed the OR version instead of the ME variety.

But the Captain Eddie lobstah revolt/mockery of made-up "facts" in one of GWB's SOTU addresses is probably one of my favorite Non-Sequitur strips, and the Fark headline says "lobster uprising," so I went with it.
 
Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle
2022-11-08 5:27:21 AM  
Yet when I shoot five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I'm the bad guy.
 
Tyrone Slothrop [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 5:35:09 AM  
Is Oregon the Florida of the PNW?
 
rideaurocks
2022-11-08 5:35:55 AM  
The sword he wedged into the couch for easy access. The memo does not specify the type of sword, but office spokeswoman Elisabeth Shepard said it was "saberlike."
 
erewhon the opinionated
2022-11-08 5:43:54 AM  
A sensible outcome from the US justice system?!? Is this a first....
 
Ragin' Asian [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-11-08 5:46:49 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Pugdaddyk
2022-11-08 5:51:13 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: ...who was known for his "movie-star good looks" and "obnoxious pranks."

LOL, good one, bro!


Fark user imageView Full Size

Obnoxious is correct. Douche gonna douche
 
poorjon
2022-11-08 5:52:57 AM  
Not the worst Portland landlord that's ever been on Fark...
 
holdmybones
2022-11-08 6:03:38 AM  

poorjon: Not the worst Portland landlord that's ever been on Fark...


Ha. Came here to make a similar joke. That guy was nuts.
 
Demetrius [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-08 6:30:50 AM  
Photo from the scene...

images.ctfassets.netView Full Size
 
NathanAllen
2022-11-08 6:49:38 AM  
The man who stabbed him was a former tenant who had just moved out and was now staying in the house as a guest.

I often bring my sword with me while sleeping at places I used to live.
 
vudukungfu [TotalFark]
2022-11-08 7:38:21 AM  
Christopher.Walken.Prank.jpg
 
Russ1642
2022-11-08 7:53:47 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
dbrunker
2022-11-08 10:40:23 AM  
I, for one, welcome our new lobster overlords.  You get used to them asking, "Dat-a-chum?", "Ded-a-chek?" and "Did-a-chick?"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
dbrunker
2022-11-08 3:20:53 PM  
I should have used this picture instead.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
moothemagiccow
2022-11-08 4:23:29 PM  
Didn't look at your lease? Well Paragraph 20 says "the Owner may enter the premises without notice at any time to achieve an orgasm"
 
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