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(ESPN)   So, which random stats will ESPN pull out of its arse this week? It's your Week 8 Power Rankings   (espn.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, American football, National Football League, American football positions, San Francisco 49ers, Game, regular season, point margin, Kansas City Chiefs  
•       •       •

629 clicks; posted to Sports » on 25 Oct 2022 at 12:34 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



66 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-10-25 11:56:22 AM  
The Giants are like the pig you have to wrestle: You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

/Giants fan
//knows this ride's gonna end eventually
///will enjoy it regardless
 
2022-10-25 11:57:48 AM  
Giants at 4?

Come on now.
 
2022-10-25 12:02:02 PM  
https://public.flourish.studio/visualisation/7353175/

Fark user imageView Full Size


That climb by the Jets. If only there were some real world creation that climbs like that
 
2022-10-25 12:03:01 PM  

Gubbo: https://public.flourish.studio/visualisation/7353175/

[Fark user image 327x750]

That climb by the Jets. If only there were some real world creation that climbs like that


Sorry, that looks rubbish. Posted from my phone
 
2022-10-25 12:06:35 PM  
I apologize to the both of you who care, but life is conspiring to keep me very busy and away from my laptop with the FARK/FAIL on it, so it probably won't be around for the next few weeks.
 
2022-10-25 12:43:34 PM  
The Brncs are too damn high.

/Why does the "O" key not work when I try to type "brncs"?
 
2022-10-25 12:46:45 PM  
I feel like Detroit is heading for a 2-15 season. I don't have much else to offer here.
 
2022-10-25 12:49:17 PM  
I cannot believe how high the Giants are.  I never saw that coming two months ago.

I'd put the Niners higher.  They're definitely a playoff team.  They won't play the Chiefs every week and their division is soft.
 
2022-10-25 12:50:13 PM  
The Raiders at 23  I can live with that..

They need to show they can win and not get too cocky and slack off in practice.. If they come out flat against the Saints they didn't learn anything and deserve their record.

I love them as underdogs but once they start winning and being favored.. the wheels fall off
 
2022-10-25 12:50:15 PM  
The bucs are at #17, which feels high to me.
 
2022-10-25 12:51:05 PM  
The Bears seem far too low at 28. They're probably around 22. If they haven't turned a corner yet, it looks like they at least have a turn-signal on.
 
2022-10-25 12:55:53 PM  

Aezetyr: I feel like Detroit is heading for a 2-15 season. I don't have much else to offer here.


I have it on good authority from posters here that Dan Campbell is a good coach because he Cares More.
 
2022-10-25 12:57:55 PM  
The Niners are really good at a lot of positions and are somehow a meh team despite that.

Kyle Shanahan isn't great, and it turns out his offensive genius was just employing Mike McDaniels.

Mike McGlinchey (RT) can't pass block. Like, zero ability to pass block. Somehow he still has a starting job.

Garoppolo isn't great.

Replace McGlinchey and Garoppolo with like... slightly below average players, and this is a 12-5 team with average coaching.
 
2022-10-25 1:03:59 PM  

germ78: The Bears seem far too low at 28. They're probably around 22. If they haven't turned a corner yet, it looks like they at least have a turn-signal on.


I can see why they are at 28 if this power ranking is factoring in the remainder of their schedule.  I see 2-3 wins in the remaining schedule.  It goes:

Cowboys - L
Dolphins - L
Lions - W
Falcons - Even odds
Jets - L (can't believe I'm saying this)
Packers - L
Eagles - L
Bills - Huge L
Lions - W
Vikings - L
 
2022-10-25 1:06:00 PM  

Dafatone: The Niners are really good at a lot of positions and are somehow a meh team despite that.

Kyle Shanahan isn't great, and it turns out his offensive genius was just employing Mike McDaniels.

Mike McGlinchey (RT) can't pass block. Like, zero ability to pass block. Somehow he still has a starting job.

Garoppolo isn't great.

Replace McGlinchey and Garoppolo with like... slightly below average players, and this is a 12-5 team with average coaching.


Who would you rather have.

Difficulty - must be a player that it is possible to have
 
2022-10-25 1:07:00 PM  
I'm waiting for some absurd, mindboggling loss by the Bills. Like their staunch defense is going to collapse, implode and sink into the swamp against the Packers anemic offense this year.
 
2022-10-25 1:11:39 PM  
The Steelers are at least 3 positions too high.
 
2022-10-25 1:17:14 PM  

Gubbo: Dafatone: The Niners are really good at a lot of positions and are somehow a meh team despite that.

Kyle Shanahan isn't great, and it turns out his offensive genius was just employing Mike McDaniels.

Mike McGlinchey (RT) can't pass block. Like, zero ability to pass block. Somehow he still has a starting job.

Garoppolo isn't great.

Replace McGlinchey and Garoppolo with like... slightly below average players, and this is a 12-5 team with average coaching.

Who would you rather have.

Difficulty - must be a player that it is possible to have


This is a fair point. But Jimmy G can still win some games when everything else is going well.
 
2022-10-25 1:17:21 PM  

nmrsnr: I apologize to the both of you who care, but life is conspiring to keep me very busy and away from my laptop with the FARK/FAIL on it, so it probably won't be around for the next few weeks.


I care.
 
2022-10-25 1:23:34 PM  

Rapmaster2000: germ78: The Bears seem far too low at 28. They're probably around 22. If they haven't turned a corner yet, it looks like they at least have a turn-signal on.

I can see why they are at 28 if this power ranking is factoring in the remainder of their schedule.  I see 2-3 wins in the remaining schedule.  It goes:

Cowboys - L
Dolphins - L
Lions - W
Falcons - Even odds
Jets - L (can't believe I'm saying this)
Packers - L
Eagles - L
Bills - Huge L
Lions - W
Vikings - L


I'd be slightly more charitable to the Bears and put the Vikings game into the even odds category as the Vikings barely won their first game against the Bears. Still, most of the rest should be losses unless the Bears manage to shock a team.
 
2022-10-25 1:29:19 PM  

Dafatone: The Niners are really good at a lot of positions and are somehow a meh team despite that.

Kyle Shanahan isn't great, and it turns out his offensive genius was just employing Mike McDaniels.

Mike McGlinchey (RT) can't pass block. Like, zero ability to pass block. Somehow he still has a starting job.

Garoppolo isn't great.

Replace McGlinchey and Garoppolo with like... slightly below average players, and this is a 12-5 team with average coaching.


Jimmy G was like the 4th biggest problem this week. The offensive line was awful on Sunday. Has been for most of the year. There were a bunch of just dumb penalties.

The entire defense was a disaster. It seemed like they were just outcoached. I have no idea why the coaches thought Jimmy Ward could play with that cast on. Clearly, they were wrong. Charvarius Ward was terrible. Hufanga played well but probably should have had a week off after the concussion last week. It seemed like the linebackers were going the wrong way on every play. The D line did OK but OK against Mahomes just means he has to work to make it look easy.
 
2022-10-25 1:30:07 PM  
This farkin' timeline, man.   A year ago if you had said the words "Geno Smith" and "MVP" in the same sentence, I'd have laughed at you.

Now I believe it.
 
2022-10-25 1:46:47 PM  
Looks to me like those rankings were created with the assumption that the Patriots were going to win last night.
 
2022-10-25 1:47:19 PM  
Ravens - 7
Browns - 25

Refs - 1

Anyone can line the teams up by W-L record and make a list.   Anyone watching the games knows better.
 
2022-10-25 1:52:28 PM  
OH HEY GUYS! Thought I might run into you here. Please accept this GRAF:

Fark user imageView Full Size


Do you like stats about nonsense rankings? I do!

Change from Week 1 to this week:
Two 15-point drops: Bucs & Broncos
One 24-point jump: Giants

Three teams are WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE! Bills, Titans, & Commanders are back at their Week 1 Ranking. AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK!

Change from last week to this week:
Two 7-point drops: Bucs & Chargers
Two 7-point jumps: Commanders & Dolphins

4 teams did not change rankings: Panthers, Ravens, Jaguars, & Vikings

Number of times rankings have changed:
1 team has changed twice: Bills
13 teams have changed every week (7x)

Difference between high rank & low rank:
Lowest fluctuation: Bills with 1
Highest fluctuation: Giants & Jets with 24
Average fluctuation is 12.1

Most spots traveled (largest overall fluctuation):Dolphins with 41

Teams hiatting their highest rank this week: Seahawks, Giants, &Jets

Teams hiatting their lowest rank this week: Bucs, Packers, Broncos, Browns, & Saints

THREE teams have held the #1 spot: Bills, Dolphins, & Chiefs

Be back later with SOV!
 
2022-10-25 2:00:38 PM  

ReverendLoki: nmrsnr: I apologize to the both of you who care, but life is conspiring to keep me very busy and away from my laptop with the FARK/FAIL on it, so it probably won't be around for the next few weeks.

I care.


I care, too. OK, I guess he found us both.
 
2022-10-25 2:02:19 PM  
Giants defensive holes are starting to be an issue, but I'm enjoying the ride. I expect them to lose the next game but if they keep it close the mirage kinda continues.
 
2022-10-25 2:16:33 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


The Jake for the week (yeah yeah, I know about the images!) Tiny hands made it in the top 4 in back to back weeks.

Not much more today, I'm in a workshop for my company, but a break allowed me to post this!
 
2022-10-25 2:23:54 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


*unleashes laser pointer*

AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE DATA, the Patriots suck muwahahahaha
 
2022-10-25 2:32:33 PM  

Di Atribe: OH HEY GUYS! Thought I might run into you here. Please accept this GRAF:

[Fark user image 850x981]

Do you like stats about nonsense rankings? I do!

Change from Week 1 to this week:
Two 15-point drops: Bucs & Broncos
One 24-point jump: Giants

Three teams are WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE! Bills, Titans, & Commanders are back at their Week 1 Ranking. AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK!

Change from last week to this week:
Two 7-point drops: Bucs & Chargers
Two 7-point jumps: Commanders & Dolphins

4 teams did not change rankings: Panthers, Ravens, Jaguars, & Vikings

Number of times rankings have changed:
1 team has changed twice: Bills
13 teams have changed every week (7x)

Difference between high rank & low rank:
Lowest fluctuation: Bills with 1
Highest fluctuation: Giants & Jets with 24
Average fluctuation is 12.1

Most spots traveled (largest overall fluctuation):Dolphins with 41

Teams hiatting their highest rank this week: Seahawks, Giants, &Jets

Teams hiatting their lowest rank this week: Bucs, Packers, Broncos, Browns, & Saints

THREE teams have held the #1 spot: Bills, Dolphins, & Chiefs

Be back later with SOV!


How is Washington named "BLOODskins"?!?  That's...silly and not even funny. :(

They're the Commies to me! :(
 
2022-10-25 2:37:26 PM  

smd31: How is Washington named "BLOODskins"?!?  That's...silly and not even funny. :(

They're the Commies to me! :(


They're Halloween names! That one's obviously left over from a few years ago, but it was spooky enough to keep.

What's a funny Halloween name for "Commanders?" If you can tell me, then I'll change it.
 
2022-10-25 2:51:55 PM  

Di Atribe: OH HEY GUYS! Thought I might run into you here. Please accept this GRAF:

[Fark user image image 850x981]

Do you like stats about nonsense rankings? I do!

Change from Week 1 to this week:
Two 15-point drops: Bucs & Broncos
One 24-point jump: Giants

Three teams are WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE! Bills, Titans, & Commanders are back at their Week 1 Ranking. AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK!

Change from last week to this week:
Two 7-point drops: Bucs & Chargers
Two 7-point jumps: Commanders & Dolphins

4 teams did not change rankings: Panthers, Ravens, Jaguars, & Vikings

Number of times rankings have changed:
1 team has changed twice: Bills
13 teams have changed every week (7x)

Difference between high rank & low rank:
Lowest fluctuation: Bills with 1
Highest fluctuation: Giants & Jets with 24
Average fluctuation is 12.1

Most spots traveled (largest overall fluctuation):Dolphins with 41

Teams hiatting their highest rank this week: Seahawks, Giants, &Jets

Teams hiatting their lowest rank this week: Bucs, Packers, Broncos, Browns, & Saints

THREE teams have held the #1 spot: Bills, Dolphins, & Chiefs

Be back later with SOV!


How is barely beating a weak Steelers team worthy of a 7-point jump in the tough AFC East?
 
2022-10-25 2:59:00 PM  

greentea1985: How is barely beating a weak Steelers team worthy of a 7-point jump in the tough AFC East?


My guess is they wanted to bump them & that was all the excuse they needed.

Also, it was kind of a good game.
 
2022-10-25 3:00:42 PM  
ESPN NFL coverage:
Dak Prescott
Dak Prescott
Dak Prescott
Tom Brady
Dak Prescott
Dak Prescott
Aaron Rodgers
Adam Schefter licking NFL taint
Dak Prescott
 
2022-10-25 3:05:13 PM  

NewportBarGuy: Giants at 4?

Come on now.


Expect that to get significantly knocked down when they face whoever is inhabiting geno smith's body
 
2022-10-25 3:11:14 PM  
I'm fine with KC at #3.

The first half went bizarre in last two or three minutes and I'm not sure what either team was thinking at the time.

Second half really demonstrated how great KC can play when they're all on the same page. WR corps had an excellent outing with 5 TDs overall, with everyone making catches and big plays. Hardman had one of his best days. Really can't argue when he scores 3 TDs by air and on the ground. The ground attack wasn't as prolific, but it kept drives going and softened up the 49ers defense. Score could have been higher except for a missed FG and some penalties.

Defense, especially the pass rush, did well in the second half. Five QB sacks in one game is a huge improvement over last year. I think that once key players are back and everyone is healthy, the defense might become a force to be reckoned with.

Skyy Moore isn't that reliable as a kick returner. I'm not sure if they're thinking he could be like Dante Hall, but it's just not working. Dude has muffed too many points this season.
 
2022-10-25 3:12:10 PM  
Photo of the week: this Chargers fan

cdn.vox-cdn.comView Full Size


Because it proves, against prior evidence, that there is actually such a thing as a Chargers fan.
 
2022-10-25 3:16:03 PM  
While enjoying the soft, creamy center of their schedule, the Patriots managed to find the chocolate that's filled with the toothpaste flavored creme. Yuck.

/Who knew that Fields was a threat to run?
//Certainly not the Patriots coaches or defenders
 
2022-10-25 3:17:14 PM  

phimuskapsi: [Fark user image 850x530]

The Jake for the week (yeah yeah, I know about the images!) Tiny hands made it in the top 4 in back to back weeks.

Not much more today, I'm in a workshop for my company, but a break allowed me to post this!


Claps :) Jake Goff, everyone.

Remember about a month ago when people had the Lions as a sneaky playoff team.
Good times.
 
2022-10-25 3:18:15 PM  

Super Chronic: Photo of the week: this Chargers fan

[cdn.vox-cdn.com image 500x281]

Because it proves, against prior evidence, that there is actually such a thing as a Chargers fan.


Stay classy San Diego Los Angeles
 
2022-10-25 3:28:51 PM  
Speaking of "pulled from ass" statistics, is ESPN still trying to push their "total qbr" bullshiat metric or did they finally give up on that?
 
2022-10-25 3:30:03 PM  

Di Atribe: smd31: How is Washington named "BLOODskins"?!?  That's...silly and not even funny. :(

They're the Commies to me! :(

They're Halloween names! That one's obviously left over from a few years ago, but it was spooky enough to keep.

What's a funny Halloween name for "Commanders?" If you can tell me, then I'll change it.


Oooh, well that makes more sense.

/I'm horrible w/coming up w/names so...
//I'll_allow_it.gif
///3s
 
2022-10-25 3:30:33 PM  

Super Chronic: Photo of the week: this Chargers fan

[cdn.vox-cdn.com image 500x281]

Because it proves, against prior evidence, that there is actually such a thing as a Chargers fan.


Not really. Given the proximity to the field, you could be looking at someone related to the front office or a player.
 
2022-10-25 3:45:48 PM  

Neondistraction: Speaking of "pulled from ass" statistics, is ESPN still trying to push their "total qbr" bullshiat metric or did they finally give up on that?


They'll never give up on that. They just don't give credit to Trent Dilfer for inventing it anymore.

greentea1985: Rapmaster2000: germ78: The Bears seem far too low at 28. They're probably around 22. If they haven't turned a corner yet, it looks like they at least have a turn-signal on.

I can see why they are at 28 if this power ranking is factoring in the remainder of their schedule.  I see 2-3 wins in the remaining schedule.  It goes:

Cowboys - L
Dolphins - L
Lions - W
Falcons - Even odds
Jets - L (can't believe I'm saying this)
Packers - L
Eagles - L
Bills - Huge L
Lions - W
Vikings - L

I'd be slightly more charitable to the Bears and put the Vikings game into the even odds category as the Vikings barely won their first game against the Bears. Still, most of the rest should be losses unless the Bears manage to shock a team.


They do have Miami, Philly and Buffalo at home. That might help, somewhat. Maybe with the Dolphins, at least. Plus, the Bills game is pretty late in the season. Maybe they'll be resting their players by then.
 
2022-10-25 3:48:24 PM  

Rapmaster2000: germ78: The Bears seem far too low at 28. They're probably around 22. If they haven't turned a corner yet, it looks like they at least have a turn-signal on.

I can see why they are at 28 if this power ranking is factoring in the remainder of their schedule.  I see 2-3 wins in the remaining schedule.  It goes:

Cowboys - L
Dolphins - L
Lions - W
Falcons - Even odds
Jets - L (can't believe I'm saying this)
Packers - L
Eagles - L
Bills - Huge L
Lions - W
Vikings - L


I could see the Bears stealing a win against the Dolphins or Vikings.  Maybe even the Packers if Green Bay continues to play the way they have been lately.
 
2022-10-25 3:51:19 PM  

Aezetyr: I feel like Detroit is heading for a 2-15 season. I don't have much else to offer here.


They can play in the Toilet Bowl with the Clowns.
 
2022-10-25 4:17:50 PM  

nmrsnr: I apologize to the both of you who care, but life is conspiring to keep me very busy and away from my laptop with the FARK/FAIL on it, so it probably won't be around for the next few weeks.


I love Fark/Fail! Take care of yourself though. I shall be content to wait
 
2022-10-25 4:19:31 PM  

Rapmaster2000: germ78: The Bears seem far too low at 28. They're probably around 22. If they haven't turned a corner yet, it looks like they at least have a turn-signal on.

I can see why they are at 28 if this power ranking is factoring in the remainder of their schedule.  I see 2-3 wins in the remaining schedule.  It goes:

Cowboys - L
Dolphins - L
Lions - W
Falcons - Even odds
Jets - L (can't believe I'm saying this)
Packers - L
Eagles - L
Bills - Huge L
Lions - W
Vikings - L


They might beat the Packers.  Also I seem to recall this is written before the Monday game so ESPN probably didn't factor it in.
 
2022-10-25 4:23:15 PM  

phimuskapsi: [Fark user image 850x530]

The Jake for the week (yeah yeah, I know about the images!) Tiny hands made it in the top 4 in back to back weeks.

Not much more today, I'm in a workshop for my company, but a break allowed me to post this!


Jared Goff in the Lion suit is perfect though. (also am I in fantasy land where the Cows cause someone to win the Jake? The Cows actually force turnovers now?)
 
2022-10-25 4:27:24 PM  

null: Aezetyr: I feel like Detroit is heading for a 2-15 season. I don't have much else to offer here.

They can play in the Toilet Bowl with the Clowns.


Detroit is the best argument in favor for creating an NFL relegation system
 
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