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(Daily Star) Weeners Dog walker left 'red-faced' after her pooch refuses to play fetch with his massive new sex toy (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
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    More: Weeners, Gateshead, Newcastle upon Tyne, dog walker, one-year-old Frankie, Claire Robson, girthy find, mortified dog walker, massive veiny dildo  
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3487 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2022 at 4:59 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
brap [TotalFark]
2022-10-14 2:11:21 PM  
PET HACK

When asking your pooch to fetch the large rubber thing, it's very important to emphasize the K in Kong.
 
The Garden State
2022-10-14 5:03:23 PM  
She had to go get gloves to take it away from her dog (and I don't blame her) but she's going to let him give her "kisses" on her lips without brushing his teeth.
 
Dr Dreidel
2022-10-14 5:03:51 PM  
I just watched Teeth (2007) last night, so I'll be uncomfortably crossing my legs for this thread.

// link has a full plot summary, so... spoilers
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-10-14 5:04:02 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Earl of Chives
2022-10-14 5:05:00 PM  
Yes, after any embarrassing incident with a giant sex toy, my first call is always to the newspaper.
 
Ivo Shandor [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-14 5:05:49 PM  
She commented that cocker spaniels' are prone to picking up items they find as it's in their nature.

Well yeah, it's right there in the name.
 
UngaBeat [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-14 5:06:01 PM  
I mean, c'mon. It WAS a Cocker Spaniel.
 
Vern
2022-10-14 5:10:00 PM  
It seems like at least once a week an animal in England finds some sex toy laying around, or a precious child brings one to school for show and tell, and a mum is mortified. To the best of my recollection, I've never seen any story like this originate in America.

Is this something that only happens in England? By which I mean dumpy women make something up, or go along with something, so they can get their picture in a tabloid that ends with "Mail".
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-10-14 5:10:39 PM  

Earl of Chives: Yes, after any embarrassing incident with a giant sex toy, my first call is always to the newspaper.


Scene Interior newspaper editor's desk

(phone rings)

Layla: Hello, Sun, Layla speaking.
Claire: Yes, hello, my name is Claire and I'm a dog walker and the other day...
Layla: Hold on, let me guess, your dog happened to find a sex toy, right?
Claire: How did you know?
Layla: It was mine. I needed a story to print before the deadline here.
 
SomethingBetter76
2022-10-14 5:12:10 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

always use the indefinite article
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-10-14 5:14:08 PM  

Vern: It seems like at least once a week an animal in England finds some sex toy laying around, or a precious child brings one to school for show and tell, and a mum is mortified. To the best of my recollection, I've never seen any story like this originate in America.

Is this something that only happens in England? By which I mean dumpy women make something up, or go along with something, so they can get their picture in a tabloid that ends with "Mail".


A few years ago, the BBC News was interviewing a woman in her room during Corona and way in back on her shelf, was a big dildo. Right in plain view.

I would post the photo here, but I don't feel like being banned.
 
NeoCortex42 [TotalFark]
2022-10-14 5:15:37 PM  

Vern: It seems like at least once a week an animal in England finds some sex toy laying around, or a precious child brings one to school for show and tell, and a mum is mortified. To the best of my recollection, I've never seen any story like this originate in America.

Is this something that only happens in England? By which I mean dumpy women make something up, or go along with something, so they can get their picture in a tabloid that ends with "Mail".


Americans know not to call the newspaper. Otherwise the woods porn might never reappear.
 
Big_Doofus
2022-10-14 5:16:16 PM  

Earl of Chives: Yes, after any embarrassing incident with a giant sex toy, my first call is always to the newspaper.


How the hell is this news?
 
Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs
2022-10-14 5:16:43 PM  
If they dont want dogs playing with sex toys, why do they sell them at PetSmart?

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
Mr. Shabooboo
2022-10-14 5:22:03 PM  

Vern: It seems like at least once a week an animal in England finds some sex toy laying around, or a precious child brings one to school for show and tell, and a mum is mortified. To the best of my recollection, I've never seen any story like this originate in America.

Is this something that only happens in England? By which I mean dumpy women make something up, or go along with something, so they can get their picture in a tabloid that ends with "Mail".


In the UK apparently being mortified and embarrassed means you put out a full page press release
announcing it and all the salacious details.
 
knbwhite
2022-10-14 5:24:44 PM  
I can't remember where I saw it, but several years ago I saw a quiz with several objects and you had to guess sex toy or pet toy.  It was difficult.
 
rnatalie [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-14 5:26:06 PM  
My neighbor's dog took off into the woods and came back with a giant stick.   My wife looked closely at it and said, hey... that stick is a salami.   The dog wouldn't let go of it and ended up eating it (seemed not to have hurt him any).
 
Begoggle
2022-10-14 5:26:34 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Vern: It seems like at least once a week an animal in England finds some sex toy laying around, or a precious child brings one to school for show and tell, and a mum is mortified. To the best of my recollection, I've never seen any story like this originate in America.

Is this something that only happens in England? By which I mean dumpy women make something up, or go along with something, so they can get their picture in a tabloid that ends with "Mail".

In the UK apparently being mortified and embarrassed means you put out a full page press release
announcing it and all the salacious details.


In the UK, everyone is either "red faced" or GOBSMACKED.
All the time.
 
Some Junkie Cosmonaut
2022-10-14 5:52:46 PM  

steklo: Vern: It seems like at least once a week an animal in England finds some sex toy laying around, or a precious child brings one to school for show and tell, and a mum is mortified. To the best of my recollection, I've never seen any story like this originate in America.

Is this something that only happens in England? By which I mean dumpy women make something up, or go along with something, so they can get their picture in a tabloid that ends with "Mail".

A few years ago, the BBC News was interviewing a woman in her room during Corona and way in back on her shelf, was a big dildo. Right in plain view.

I would post the photo here, but I don't feel like being banned.


It's hardly horribly explicit and it's in the background - here I'll risk it ;p

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Stile4aly [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-14 5:58:36 PM  
WOBBLY SAUSAGE! (Lightly NSFW video)
 
Hinged
2022-10-14 6:43:07 PM  
I'd let him keep it.
 
Colour_out_of_Space
2022-10-14 6:46:39 PM  

Vern: It seems like at least once a week an animal in England finds some sex toy laying around, or a precious child brings one to school for show and tell, and a mum is mortified. To the best of my recollection, I've never seen any story like this originate in America.

Is this something that only happens in England? By which I mean dumpy women make something up, or go along with something, so they can get their picture in a tabloid that ends with "Mail".


We're too distracted by the school shootings.
Sales of sex toys are well-regulated.
 
stevenvictx
2022-10-14 7:02:00 PM  
Of course not

It doesnt have a squeaker in it ....probably
 
morg
2022-10-14 7:42:40 PM  

rnatalie: My neighbor's dog took off into the woods and came back with a giant stick.   My wife looked closely at it and said, hey... that stick is a salami.   The dog wouldn't let go of it and ended up eating it (seemed not to have hurt him any).


We had a serial dog poisoner several years back. Can't remember if they ever caught anyone but I'd be paranoid as hell letting a dog off leash.
 
Prof. Frink [BareFark]
2022-10-14 11:07:03 PM  

knbwhite: I can't remember where I saw it, but several years ago I saw a quiz with several objects and you had to guess sex toy or pet toy.  It was difficult.


Admit it: you orginally wrote that last sentence as "It was hard" and then changed it.
 
Noah_Tall
2022-10-14 11:43:58 PM  
The dog refused to drop the toy.  Maybe he just likes fish.
 
Some Junkie Cosmonaut
2022-10-15 12:44:23 AM  

Noah_Tall: The dog refused to drop the toy.  Maybe he just likes fish.


You're making a lot of assumptions there
 
knbwhite
2022-10-15 2:08:38 AM  

Prof. Frink: knbwhite: I can't remember where I saw it, but several years ago I saw a quiz with several objects and you had to guess sex toy or pet toy.  It was difficult.

Admit it: you orginally wrote that last sentence as "It was hard" and then changed it.


Good boy!
 
stuffy
2022-10-15 3:10:28 PM  
Could have been worse. Could have been real thing.
 
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