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(Fark)   What do you call people who are crazy about money? Dough nuts. It is your Thursday Bad Joke thread. How is your autumn treating you?   ( divider line
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77 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 06 Oct 2022 at 9:00 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2022-10-06 12:17:37 AM  
4 votes:
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween?
Me: Drunk!
2022-10-06 8:04:03 AM  
4 votes:
Three men are discussing Adam and Eve

The Frenchman says "Adam and Eve must be French. They are beautiful, and naked, and have all the world's beauty before them."

The Englishman says "Not at all. They are residing in the most beautiful, perfect Garden. They must be English."

The Russian says "They are without clothes, they are forbidden from eating, they are talked to by snakes, and they are being told it's Heaven. They are Russian."
2022-10-06 1:35:32 PM  
2 votes:
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As a singer I sing at many funerals & I was recently asked by a funeral director to sing at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's Cemetery out near Indiana. As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost. Everyone that knows me knows I can be directionally challenged AND my navigation lost its signal.
I hate Sprint!!
Anyway, I finally arrived an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt bad and apologized to the guys for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to sing. The workers put down their lunch and began to gather around. I sang my heart and soul out for this man with no family and friends.
As I sang "Amazing Grace", the spirit began to move and the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I prayed a benediction and started for my car, my head hung low but my heart so FULL.
As I opened the door to my car, I overheard one of the workers say, "I've never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Apparently, I was still lost....
2022-10-06 1:36:28 PM  
2 votes:
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2022-10-06 4:20:35 AM  
1 vote:
Prospective mansion buyer: Hey, why this place no gotta halo statue?
Realtor: There's a angel in the fountain out front.
Prospective mansion buyer: That's a notta halo statue!
Realtor: So what do you consider a halo statue?
Prospective mansion buyer: You know it goes ring ring you pick it up and say: Halo Statue?
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