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(AP News)   Putin signs legislation formally annexing four regions of Ukraine. Weirdly, the locals in those regions seem to be celebrating by flying more and more yellow and blue flags   (apnews.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Ukraine, Vladimir Putin, Russia, Ukrainian government, Russian President Vladimir Putin, Russia's territory, Kiev, Ukrainian forces  
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1107 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Oct 2022 at 4:53 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-10-05 1:15:47 PM  
At this point, he wants a tissue thin excuse to justify deploying the heavy stuff on Ukraine. Doesn't make a lot of sense to drop even tactical nukes on a country you want to occupy, but at this point, I don't think that even Pooty-Poot thinks he can possibly keep up this pace. But he's trying to give himself a rationale to 'protect Russian territory.'

Which might not exactly end the way he was hoping.
 
2022-10-05 1:27:36 PM  
Don't worry... America is sending a team to monitor the situation:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-05 4:03:51 PM  
Those deck chairs will look marvelous after the remodel Vlad.
 
2022-10-05 4:54:35 PM  
Me getting dragged out of the local Arbys insisting that I own the whole block.
 
2022-10-05 4:56:36 PM  
Wait, maybe yellow and blue is the new Russian flag?

/wasn't Russia always a party of Ukraine?
 
2022-10-05 4:56:46 PM  
Dear World,

I now own all of Russia.

Thank you
 
2022-10-05 4:58:34 PM  

optimistic_cynic: Dear World,

I now own all of Russia.

Thank you


Do you have a flag? You can't claim territory without a flag.
 
2022-10-05 4:59:33 PM  
The only thing this war lacks thus far (other than Putin dying and all Ukraine being free, of course) is a story about a Ukrainian town that the Russians mysteriously abandon before the Ukrainians actually get there, thanks to the antics of a moose and squirrel from Frostbite Falls. I swear Boris and Natasha had better attack ideas than Putin's got at the moment. "I'll sign papers saying it's all mine!" ...Yeah, that's not a plan, genius.
 
2022-10-05 4:59:37 PM  
He can sign whatever he wants, but Zelenskyy has already vetoed it.
 
2022-10-05 5:00:48 PM  
Only one monitor? Putes, even I have two monitors and my household budget is like a tenth or so of the budget for your fledgling country. Get your shiat together.
 
2022-10-05 5:01:13 PM  

Fiona Nine Tails: optimistic_cynic: Dear World,

I now own all of Russia.

Thank you

Do you have a flag? You can't claim territory without a flag.


Who doesn't?
 
2022-10-05 5:01:53 PM  

Fiona Nine Tails: optimistic_cynic: Dear World,

I now own all of Russia.

Thank you

Do you have a flag? You can't claim territory without a flag.


Here, you can borrow mine.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-05 5:04:29 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-10-05 5:06:31 PM  
That desk looks like it's never been used before.  Hell that whole room looks weirdly austere.

The lamp is a weird touch in that I suppose it's supposed to soften the room, but only adds to the stark contrast.

But look at how hard working and serious Putin looks with the few pieces of paper in front of him.
 
2022-10-05 5:08:02 PM  
This isn't the Phantom Menace and you're not the Trade Federation, Darth Pooty. "Signing a piece of paper to make the invasion legal" does not work in real life!
 
2022-10-05 5:10:44 PM  
They should have trolled the Russians by having every province join so it can become a civil war.
 
2022-10-05 5:12:57 PM  
Def giving off a "Hitler in the bunker"-type vibe.
 
2022-10-05 5:13:04 PM  

hubiestubert: At this point, he wants a tissue thin excuse to justify deploying the heavy stuff on Ukraine. Doesn't make a lot of sense to drop even tactical nukes on a country you want to occupy, but at this point, I don't think that even Pooty-Poot thinks he can possibly keep up this pace.


He doesn't have anything left. It's all a bluff. If he couldn't even maintain airplanes (see how Russia's air force has yet to make an appearance in this war) do you think he was able to maintain nuclear weapons?

His only hope is that Ukraine is forced to stop by other countries who decide it's not worth the risk.
 
2022-10-05 5:13:44 PM  
The Ukrainians don't seem to have realized that they've been conquered. Maybe they just didn't get the message yet.
 
2022-10-05 5:15:41 PM  
In other news, I'm signing documents that declare I own the apartments next door to me. Sure I've never been in either of them, and the people living there don't know me, but I feel like those apartments have really always been mine anyway. And once I sign this document I typed up in the span of 10 minutes while eating a sandwich, it'll be official. I'm sure my neighbors will understand.
 
2022-10-05 5:15:58 PM  
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2022-10-05 5:17:16 PM  
Putinkin Villages
 
2022-10-05 5:18:25 PM  
Is OK, referendum in regions get 99% of vote, citizens much want us there. Pay no attention to the man with the rifle, he's not important. Now vote, comrade
 
2022-10-05 5:22:29 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-10-05 5:22:29 PM  
But did he hearby declare it???
 
2022-10-05 5:23:30 PM  

LurkerSupreme: In other news, I'm signing documents that declare I own the apartments next door to me. Sure I've never been in either of them, and the people living there don't know me, but I feel like those apartments have really always been mine anyway. And once I sign this document I typed up in the span of 10 minutes while eating a sandwich, it'll be official. I'm sure my neighbors will understand.


You need to have your legislative body type it up--then you can sign it.
 
2022-10-05 5:23:49 PM  
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R.I.P. Weirdly
 
2022-10-05 5:27:19 PM  
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2022-10-05 5:28:30 PM  
considering that every line Putin draws on a map is summarily crossed, i dunno how he figures out where his own borders are anymore...

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2022-10-05 5:29:19 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: But did he hearby declare it???


He didn't do it three times while walking in a circle so it is not valid.
 
2022-10-05 5:32:20 PM  
Putin cannot be thinking that declaring this as Russian territory and parking a couple of nukes there as a deterrent to NATO membership is a winning strategy does he?
 
2022-10-05 5:33:41 PM  

janzee: Putin cannot be thinking that declaring this as Russian territory and parking a couple of nukes there as a deterrent to NATO membership is a winning strategy does he?


Depends on how many blue and white pills he's had that day.
 
2022-10-05 5:35:23 PM  
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2022-10-05 5:50:42 PM  
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2022-10-05 5:53:27 PM  
"Oh, yeah? Well, I own all of Russia, with my wife, Morgan Fairchild!"

i.pinimg.comView Full Size


/ that's the ticket
 
2022-10-05 6:11:32 PM  
This will give Trump the idea to declare all of America as his. He just needs a sharpie and a hamberder.
 
2022-10-05 6:13:31 PM  
I don't know what Putin's game plan is here, but, I'm feeling confident whatever it is, it isn't going to work and hasn't been working.
 
2022-10-05 6:25:21 PM  

HerptheDerp: I don't know what Putin's game plan is here, but, I'm feeling confident whatever it is, it isn't going to work and hasn't been working.


Ya lost me at plan. I think the 5D chessmaster has moved on to paper football.
 
2022-10-05 7:02:36 PM  
That's not how any of this works.
 
2022-10-05 7:14:40 PM  
I should annex the lottery jackpot...
 
2022-10-05 7:17:44 PM  

Jumbled: This will give Trump the idea to declare all of America as his. He just needs a sharpie and a hamberder.


what did hamburders ever do to you?!
 
2022-10-05 8:08:31 PM  
Usually you take over a place before you annex it.  What you don't do is prove you can't defend a place, then annex it.  He was caught breaking into a car, siphoning the gas, and stealing its wheels, and his explanation is that it's really his car, he just made the title, see?
 
2022-10-05 8:18:59 PM  

Evil Mackerel: Fiona Nine Tails: optimistic_cynic: Dear World,

I now own all of Russia.

Thank you

Do you have a flag? You can't claim territory without a flag.

Here, you can borrow mine.

[Fark user image image 240x135]


I'm partial to this one myself.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-05 8:19:12 PM  
 
2022-10-05 8:24:48 PM  

Evil Mackerel: Fiona Nine Tails: optimistic_cynic: Dear World,

I now own all of Russia.

Thank you

Do you have a flag? You can't claim territory without a flag.

Here, you can borrow mine.

[Fark user image 240x135] [View Full Size image _x_]


beats the one he's flying now:
worldhistory.orgView Full Size
 
2022-10-05 8:46:28 PM  

hubiestubert: At this point, he wants a tissue thin excuse to justify deploying the heavy stuff on Ukraine. Doesn't make a lot of sense to drop even tactical nukes on a country you want to occupy, but at this point, I don't think that even Pooty-Poot thinks he can possibly keep up this pace. But he's trying to give himself a rationale to 'protect Russian territory.'

Which might not exactly end the way he was hoping.


The main reason is that Russian law prevents the military from sending conscripts outside of Russia unless a war is declared.

Russia's expeditionary force is entirely volunteer - they offered lucrative 6-month contracts for their soldiers. It's also Wagner exists and why they relied so heavily on Chechnyan soldiers. Until the declare war, they can't send Russian conscripts outside of Russia.

The Russians are experiencing a huge manpower crunch in Ukraine. Not only from casualties but also because the contracts are expiring, people are leaving, and no one is replacing them no matter how much money they offer.

Putin doesn't want to formally declare war (because it will trigger a lot of international repercussions as he will no longer be able to hide behind the obvious veneer of his 'special military operation') so his fictional annexation of these oblasts is merely a cover to allow him to send in conscripts.

Because the Government has now declared these oblasts to be part of the Russian federation, it is now legal for him to send in conscripts.

All the other stuff about him doing to to create a 'red-line' for escalation is simply PR to scare western voters.

But the real reason is that the Russians desperately need more manpower in Ukraine, and this was the only they could do it unless they declared war.

It's a sign of absolute desperation an an indication of just how screwed the Russians are in Ukraine.
 
2022-10-05 10:17:27 PM  
I saw someone has to take him out.  I am starting to think one reason he hasn't is hes rigged the dead mans trigger on all the nations nukes so that if he dies they fire. And hes let everyone who has the means to take him out in Russia know it.   I mean honestly how hard would it be to rig a small hidden heart monitor to him that sending his vital to the system and have it set so if his heart stops it fires.
 
2022-10-05 10:18:23 PM  

jumac: I saw someone has to take him out.  I am starting to think one reason he hasn't is hes rigged the dead mans trigger on all the nations nukes so that if he dies they fire. And hes let everyone who has the means to take him out in Russia know it.   I mean honestly how hard would it be to rig a small hidden heart monitor to him that sending his vital to the system and have it set so if his heart stops it fires.


dam auto correct I typed swear.
 
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