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(The Drive)   Florida man steals trailer hoping to find valuables. Instead finds two race cars. So being Florida, he does the only logical thing. Jailarity ensues   (thedrive.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Theft, street stock racer Jeff Stalnaker, Auto racing, Truck, Automobile, The Incredibles, race cars, Detective  
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4234 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2022 at 4:35 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



43 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-10-05 10:50:43 AM  
Anyone seen Ron Howard?

Apparently the whole film is available on the YouTubes
https://youtu.be/55x3dUy4ZXU
EAT MY DUST! (1976) Official Trailer
Youtube dIQ8rC9AbIM


But here's the trailer for a quick look if you want to decide if it is worth a look
 
2022-10-05 1:14:36 PM  
Two, from the looks of it, Late Models, with apparently enough sponsorship to help with the bills

AND THEY THREW THE farkING TOOLS INTO THE PIT ALSO?

These dickless weasels apparently don't know anything
 
2022-10-05 1:42:26 PM  
Hmmm, seems like a logical thing to do. I'd check the surrounding area for bodies.
 
2022-10-05 1:46:57 PM  
WTAF?

No, no, dig up, stupid!
 
2022-10-05 1:49:06 PM  
So now posting shiat on Facebook is considered "clever detective work"?
 
2022-10-05 1:50:39 PM  

Bslim: So now posting shiat on Facebook is considered "clever detective work"?


If it's good enough for COVID research...
 
2022-10-05 1:50:44 PM  

baka-san: Two, from the looks of it, Late Models, with apparently enough sponsorship to help with the bills

AND THEY THREW THE farkING TOOLS INTO THE PIT ALSO?

These dickless weasels apparently don't know anything


Errybody knows Snap-On ain't worth shiat.
 
2022-10-05 1:51:08 PM  
Herring was on probation when he allegedly stole Stalnaker's trailer, having been released on March 2, after serving six months in jail for grand theft auto. He also had a prior history of stealing trailers.

Someone actually gave this guy a job where he got to work with heavy equipment and drive a work truck home, even though he had a significant record of theft.

What a piece of shiat. This is why people who have actually reformed themselves can't get jobs, because everyone with a record is expected to be a troublemaker.
 
2022-10-05 1:51:18 PM  
I guess there's no point to asking about logical thought processes when it comes to Floridians committing crimes, but surely in a state with a ton of swampland and surrounded on 3 sides with the ocean, just sinking the damn things would have been easier if you wanted rid of the evidence.
 
2022-10-05 1:51:51 PM  
So being Florida, he does the only logical thing

He does a lot of meth and wrestles an alligator shirtless?
*reads article*
that was my second guess.
 
2022-10-05 1:52:33 PM  

baka-san: Two, from the looks of it, Late Models, with apparently enough sponsorship to help with the bills

AND THEY THREW THE farkING TOOLS INTO THE PIT ALSO?

These dickless weasels apparently don't know anything


I'm putting my bet down on the "Meth" square, assuming it's not taken.

/kidding, in Florida, meth is always taken
 
2022-10-05 1:54:19 PM  
Spent Irma in the shop - securing the cars and equip.
Spent Ian in the shop - securing the cars and equip.
Its how we eat so your damned right the crew is keeping watch...
 
2022-10-05 1:57:40 PM  
They look like Dirt Track cars.

/ Ironic tag is over the corner
 
2022-10-05 1:59:35 PM  
Hmmm, not what I was expecting. I was putting my guess on the "how fast you think this car can run, Cletus?" square.
 
2022-10-05 2:01:22 PM  
impressive detective work done by Stalnaker, his family

So no cops involved.
 
2022-10-05 2:01:23 PM  
A friend tells the story of burying his  Porsche 356 in the backyard. He sold it to pay for a new sceptic system.
 
2022-10-05 2:10:38 PM  
He sends them to a chop shop and sells the parts?
 
2022-10-05 2:10:56 PM  

Cheron: new sceptic system


I take it he wasn't sure if he believed in it?
 
2022-10-05 2:11:23 PM  

stuffy: impressive detective work done by Stalnaker, his family

So no cops involved.


no one needed to get shot, so this wasn't their lane
 
2022-10-05 2:11:24 PM  

Cheron: A friend tells the story of burying his  Porsche 356 in the backyard. He sold it to pay for a new sceptic system.


Pardon me if I have trouble believing that.
 
2022-10-05 2:13:38 PM  

Bslim: So now posting shiat on Facebook is considered "clever detective work"?


Maybe you missed the parts about finding his workplace, interviewing his boss, analyzing the gps data, tricking the perp, and doing a stakeout.
 
2022-10-05 2:20:18 PM  
You steal a racecar but don't race it?  I am dissapoint.
 
2022-10-05 2:22:30 PM  
This is not the dirty Dino story by far.
For those unfamiliar with that story.
https://jalopnik.com/the-true-story-of-how-a-ferrari-ended-up-buried-in-some-5872514
 
2022-10-05 2:22:49 PM  

Mukster: Hmmm, not what I was expecting. I was putting my guess on the "how fast you think this car can run, Cletus?" square.


Same.
I would have looked up a good track that allowed people to bring their own cars and and at least get caught trying to set a new track record.....
 
2022-10-05 2:24:00 PM  
I would have put them on the pavement and let the rubber fly

Be fun until I lost control and wrapped it around a tree
 
2022-10-05 2:28:13 PM  
I honestly didn't see that one coming. I was thinking it would be trying to trade them at a car lot, racing around on meth. But burying them? WTAF

What in.. i mean.. god damn. We don't deserve to survive.
 
2022-10-05 2:29:58 PM  

Incog_Neeto: You steal a racecar but don't race it?  I am dissapoint.


Newsflash: Florida man somehow manages to race 2 cars (presumably with a Florida bro driving the other one) without significantly damaging both (at least not more than burying would cause).

In other news, he buried them as well.
 
2022-10-05 2:36:12 PM  
Drive it like you sto....WTF?
 
2022-10-05 2:53:17 PM  

Slives: Mukster: Hmmm, not what I was expecting. I was putting my guess on the "how fast you think this car can run, Cletus?" square.

Same.
I would have looked up a good track that allowed people to bring their own cars and and at least get caught trying to set a new track record.....


Track record? I was going with beer run then a pursuit away from Boss Hogg's minions.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-05 2:58:29 PM  
I can see some of the specialized stuff, and the cars themselves (because you can't just sell them, and parting them out takes a lot of time if you don't know what you're doing), but he buried the tools?

Floridaman, indeed.
 
2022-10-05 3:12:12 PM  
What an oddly informative article. Usually a story like would lead to a long thread of speculation about how he found the buried cars.
 
2022-10-05 3:32:18 PM  
This happens every so often. There was a racetrack in the middle of nowhere and the only hotel in this tiny town kept having trailers stolen because the thieves were looking for stock cars
 
2022-10-05 3:38:23 PM  
People work much harder at being criminals than they ever will at earning honest money.
 
2022-10-05 4:39:01 PM  
https://marionmugshots.com/arrested/alex-herring-of-ocala/?fbclid=IwAR228xP_jBeYDg2yD9SqfMCre1VqKcLEkibi-CMwo9w-N0cfZrzUZVxYCD8

marionmugshots.comView Full Size


If it was up to me (which it's a good thing it's not because I'm a farking sociopath) I'd toss him in the bottom of that pit he dug to bury the cars and tools in, fill it in, and call it a day.
 
2022-10-05 4:54:16 PM  

moike: https://marionmugshots.com/arrested/alex-herring-of-ocala/?fbclid=IwAR228xP_jBeYDg2yD9SqfMCre1VqKcLEkibi-CMwo9w-N0cfZrzUZVxYCD8

[marionmugshots.com image 384x480]

If it was up to me (which it's a good thing it's not because I'm a farking sociopath) I'd toss him in the bottom of that pit he dug to bury the cars and tools in, fill it in, and call it a day.


It would have been less time consuming and wasteful to just abandon the trailer somewhere. Dude, seriously, just leave it. But from the looks.of him that's not in his mental toolbox.
 
2022-10-05 5:38:38 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Cheron: A friend tells the story of burying his  Porsche 356 in the backyard. He sold it to pay for a new sceptic system.

Pardon me if I have trouble believing that.


I see what you did there.
Well played, Nicholas D. Wolfwood.
 
2022-10-05 6:21:30 PM  
Not trying to victim shame but these, or similar run around $50.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-05 8:15:37 PM  

handsome boy model: Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Cheron: A friend tells the story of burying his  Porsche 356 in the backyard. He sold it to pay for a new sceptic system.

Pardon me if I have trouble believing that.

I see what you did there.
Well played, Nicholas D. Wolfwood.


Thanks, but I see I was far from the first to make that joke.
 
2022-10-05 9:19:40 PM  
I wouldn't have minded seeing a before shot of the cars.
 
2022-10-05 9:48:54 PM  

morg: I wouldn't have minded seeing a before shot of the cars.


Not The cars, but Street Stock.
outsidegroove.comView Full Size

Much like most stock car racing, without badging, you would have issues telling the brands apart, but a competitive series
 
2022-10-05 10:51:49 PM  

baka-san: morg: I wouldn't have minded seeing a before shot of the cars.

Not The cars, but Street Stock.
[outsidegroove.com image 850x478]
Much like most stock car racing, without badging, you would have issues telling the brands apart, but a competitive series


Not what I was imagining at all. Looks quite fragile but I imagine the cage is strong in case they do an accidental barrel roll.
 
2022-10-05 10:57:11 PM  

morg: baka-san: morg: I wouldn't have minded seeing a before shot of the cars.

Not The cars, but Street Stock.
[outsidegroove.com image 850x478]
Much like most stock car racing, without badging, you would have issues telling the brands apart, but a competitive series

Not what I was imagining at all. Looks quite fragile but I imagine the cage is strong in case they do an accidental barrel roll.


It's basically a tube race chassis with a lightweight body on top
 
2022-10-06 4:59:20 PM  

FarkerMcFarkface: Not trying to victim shame but these, or similar run around $50.

[Fark user image 843x943]


And takes about 30 second to remove without the key, seriously.  That thing is crap, don't buy it.  Avoid ball hitch locks entirely.

Use a real wheel lock on your trailer.  A good texas car boot that properly secures on the wheel and fully covers the lugs costs about a grand and is far more effective than a ball hitch lock at making it difficult to steal your trailer.
 
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