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(Page Six)   Gisele Bündchen set to deflate Tom Brady's balls   (pagesix.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Tom Brady, Bridget Moynahan, Gisele Bndchen, Costa Rica, Source, American football, Super Bowl, past couple months  
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1609 clicks; posted to Entertainment » and Main » on 04 Oct 2022 at 4:35 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



73 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-10-04 3:23:09 PM  
Translation:  She was getting sick and tired of wearing a strap-on.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-04 4:14:37 PM  
He tried being a real-time family person for 45 days and then chose to have gigantic men beat the f*ck out of him instead.

So, yeah.. probably not cut out for that as he is a permanent man-child.

He's not a man, he's a child. Always has been.

He's the best QB in the history of the game, but he has no idea how to be an adult.
 
2022-10-04 4:40:28 PM  
Did Antonio and Giselle cuck Tom?

'Cause LMFAO if so.
 
2022-10-04 4:41:30 PM  
Article's kind of sexist. It mentions divorce and lawyers, dividing their assets, and goes into Brady's finances:
The couple would likely file for divorce in Florida, as that's where they are primarily based, legal experts say. Another source who knows the couple confirm they are looking at dividing their assets, which includes a $26 million property portfolio.
From 2021 to 2022, Brady's estimated overall net worth swelled from $180 million to $250 million...


But it never mentions the fact that Gisele independently is worth $400 million. She's got a fashion empire that dwarfs him.
 
2022-10-04 4:43:04 PM  
posted to Entertainment » and Main

...but not Sports?
 
2022-10-04 4:44:24 PM  

NewportBarGuy: He tried being a real-time family person for 45 days and then chose to have gigantic men beat the f*ck out of him instead.

So, yeah.. probably not cut out for that as he is a permanent man-child.

He's not a man, he's a child. Always has been.

He's the best QB in the history of the game, but he has no idea how to be an adult.


Imagine being a guy who, from high school onward, you are feted like a demigod.  And as your life goes on - through college, and into your professional career - your detachment from reality and the lives of normal people just grows exponentially larger.  How long would it take before you have no recollection of ever doing anything for yourself?  For not having any memory when you weren't attended by handlers and hangers on for every moment of your non-private life?  And your profession - as intense as it is - is to play a game.  Your work life is a game, and your off-time is being treated as royalty.

But then, after 30 years or so of knowing no other life than that, you suddenly crash to earth as a relative nobody; instantly forgotten, except for the memories of what was.

And that, along with the rapid deterioration of your body after decades of punishment, is going to be the rest of your life.

I wouldn't have a clue what that would be like, obviously.  But I know I would have absolutely no idea how to deal with it.  I don't know how anyone makes that transition and maintains their sanity, let alone their family life.
 
2022-10-04 4:45:19 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

hi there
 
2022-10-04 4:45:24 PM  
Dude, farking retire already.  What kind of a massive ego does it take to throw your entire family away AFTER you've achieved literally EVERYTHING you've ever wanted in your career?
 
2022-10-04 4:46:31 PM  

Kitty2.0: Did Antonio and Giselle cuck Tom?

'Cause LMFAO if so.


Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-04 4:48:41 PM  

Barnhawk72: [Fark user image image 425x283]
hi there


Lulz.

/Love the Manningcast.
 
2022-10-04 4:49:49 PM  

NewportBarGuy: He tried being a real-time family person for 45 days and then chose to have gigantic men beat the f*ck out of him instead.

So, yeah.. probably not cut out for that as he is a permanent man-child.

He's not a man, he's a child. Always has been.

He's the best QB in the history of the game, but he has no idea how to be an adult.


Since you and I know the same amount about their private relationship dynamic (i.e. absolutely zero), I'm also going to create a narrative:

Man who has deep passion for his highly specialized career found it difficult to remain idle while still possessing the faculties that allowed him to achieve success. After 45 days of retirement, he decided to please his millions of fans by re-entering the workforce that he had left, and an unsupportive spouse has pounced on this moment to air grievances which could have been addressed through better prior communication.

/the "real" situation is probably something in between
 
2022-10-04 4:53:40 PM  
Poor guy, how will he ever attract another gorgeous woman to be in his life.
 
2022-10-04 4:54:33 PM  

NewportBarGuy: He tried being a real-time family person for 45 days and then chose to have gigantic men beat the f*ck out of him instead.

So, yeah.. probably not cut out for that as he is a permanent man-child.

He's not a man, he's a child. Always has been.

He's the best QB in the history of the game, but he has no idea how to be an adult


The man retired to a beautiful, rich wife, three kids, with more Super Bowl rings than anyone in creation,and more money that most  people can dream of in a lifetime. And yet Tom Brady looks like he's the most miserable person on the planet. What a mother farkin' moron.

\I feel sorry for the kids.
 
2022-10-04 4:56:36 PM  

gilgigamesh: NewportBarGuy: He tried being a real-time family person for 45 days and then chose to have gigantic men beat the f*ck out of him instead.

So, yeah.. probably not cut out for that as he is a permanent man-child.

He's not a man, he's a child. Always has been.

He's the best QB in the history of the game, but he has no idea how to be an adult.

Imagine being a guy who, from high school onward, you are feted like a demigod.  And as your life goes on - through college, and into your professional career - your detachment from reality and the lives of normal people just grows exponentially larger.  How long would it take before you have no recollection of ever doing anything for yourself?  For not having any memory when you weren't attended by handlers and hangers on for every moment of your non-private life?  And your profession - as intense as it is - is to play a game.  Your work life is a game, and your off-time is being treated as royalty.

But then, after 30 years or so of knowing no other life than that, you suddenly crash to earth as a relative nobody; instantly forgotten, except for the memories of what was.

And that, along with the rapid deterioration of your body after decades of punishment, is going to be the rest of your life.

I wouldn't have a clue what that would be like, obviously.  But I know I would have absolutely no idea how to deal with it.  I don't know how anyone makes that transition and maintains their sanity, let alone their family life.


Steve Yzerman manages it pretty well. Maybe it's because he's not a douchebag?
 
2022-10-04 4:58:13 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-04 5:04:30 PM  

Eddie Hazel's E string: NewportBarGuy: He tried being a real-time family person for 45 days and then chose to have gigantic men beat the f*ck out of him instead.

So, yeah.. probably not cut out for that as he is a permanent man-child.

He's not a man, he's a child. Always has been.

He's the best QB in the history of the game, but he has no idea how to be an adult.

Since you and I know the same amount about their private relationship dynamic (i.e. absolutely zero), I'm also going to create a narrative:

Man who has deep passion for his highly specialized career found it difficult to remain idle while still possessing the faculties that allowed him to achieve success. After 45 days of retirement, he decided to please his millions of fans by re-entering the workforce that he had left, and an unsupportive spouse has pounced on this moment to air grievances which could have been addressed through better prior communication.

/the "real" situation is probably something in between


Noooooo. He's bad because sportsball.

/Fark. Where folks still feel the wedgie like a phantom limb.
 
2022-10-04 5:11:24 PM  

Dr.Fey: posted to Entertainment » and Main

...but not Sports?


Because FARK YOU, that's why!
 
2022-10-04 5:20:10 PM  

gilgigamesh: Imagine being a guy who, from high school onward, you are feted like a demigod.


Lol what. Brady wasn't even consistently the starter in college and was barely drafted.
 
2022-10-04 5:21:06 PM  

browneye: NewportBarGuy: He tried being a real-time family person for 45 days and then chose to have gigantic men beat the f*ck out of him instead.

So, yeah.. probably not cut out for that as he is a permanent man-child.

He's not a man, he's a child. Always has been.

He's the best QB in the history of the game, but he has no idea how to be an adult

The man retired to a beautiful, rich wife, three kids, with more Super Bowl rings than anyone in creation,and more money that most  people can dream of in a lifetime. And yet Tom Brady looks like he's the most miserable person on the planet. What a mother farkin' moron.

\I feel sorry for the kids.


Your whole point is predicated on the fact he "looks miserable" lol
 
2022-10-04 5:21:21 PM  
Sounds to me like Gisele was lax in her "ball deflating" duties.
 
2022-10-04 5:25:23 PM  
He is so hyper competitive that as long as he is walking and breathing he should be a dominant force. He probably cant leave the game on his own he will have to be carted off and forced to retire. He could have found something else to do, golf, pickleball, coach and still stayed home.
 
2022-10-04 5:33:24 PM  
He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three
 
2022-10-04 5:34:00 PM  
So...so I have a chance with Gisele? Is that what you're saying?

Trillion to one odds are still a chance.
 
2022-10-04 5:34:03 PM  

The_Sponge: Translation:  She was getting sick and tired of wearing a strap-on.
[Fark user image 425x534]


She doesn't want the spice anymore?  That's too bad, with those kids.  Farking handsome family, what else?
 
2022-10-04 5:55:25 PM  

cryinoutloud: The_Sponge: Translation:  She was getting sick and tired of wearing a strap-on.
[Fark user image 425x534]

She doesn't want the spice anymore?  That's too bad, with those kids.  Farking handsome family, what else?


You know about the spice?
 
2022-10-04 5:56:28 PM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three


Kenny Stabler is too busy reciting the alphabet backwards.
 
2022-10-04 5:59:30 PM  

browneye: The man retired to a beautiful, rich wife, three kids, with more Super Bowl rings than anyone in creation,and more money that most  people can dream of in a lifetime.


They didn't even need his money, Giesele is worth like 4-5x what he is.
 
2022-10-04 6:00:16 PM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three


None of them have his accomplishments. Argue that TB's a shiatty human and you might be right, but hard to argue against him being the best footballer of all time. No one even comes close.
 
2022-10-04 6:00:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-04 6:00:42 PM  

Theaetetus: Article's kind of sexist. It mentions divorce and lawyers, dividing their assets, and goes into Brady's finances:
The couple would likely file for divorce in Florida, as that's where they are primarily based, legal experts say. Another source who knows the couple confirm they are looking at dividing their assets, which includes a $26 million property portfolio.
From 2021 to 2022, Brady's estimated overall net worth swelled from $180 million to $250 million...

But it never mentions the fact that Gisele independently is worth $400 million. She's got a fashion empire that dwarfs him.


That's what I thought. I was wondering why they didn't mention that. Then I remembered it was the NY Post.
 
2022-10-04 6:01:44 PM  
There is a lot of talk about why these two have hit the rocks.  All you hear is BS.  What really happened was that when old Tom retired (the first time), G-spot (my pet name for her) didn't know how she would get along without my big 10 which she used to get every Sunday during football season.  Well, I had to cut her off because she was getting all clingy and attached.  My other women were all feeling dissed by G-spot who they thought was just plain cutting into line whenever she damn well pleased.  I just about had a cat fight on my hands.  Anyway, I think she spilled the beans to old Tom who then felt all inadequate and couldn't get it up any more for her.  So, he's too small, too old, seems to always get rid of the ball by a four count (if you know what I mean AITYD) and G-spot prefers athletes who carry a baseball bat instead of a putter.
 
2022-10-04 6:03:00 PM  
Should've brought stock in The Men's Warehouse, because they're about to sell millions of suits to have no chance suitors
 
2022-10-04 6:08:19 PM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three


Please. I loved the Snake, even have an personally autographed copy copy of his autobiography, but Brady has more Super Bowl wins than Stabler had years as a top tier QB.
 
2022-10-04 6:08:28 PM  

Clash City Farker: cryinoutloud: The_Sponge: Translation:  She was getting sick and tired of wearing a strap-on.
[Fark user image 425x534]

She doesn't want the spice anymore?  That's too bad, with those kids.  Farking handsome family, what else?

You know about the spice?


It must flow.
 
2022-10-04 6:11:19 PM  
I've been married 17 years. It's not easy.

Through a half billion dollars worth of alternative possibilities and I am not surprised rich people get divorced.

It's not all about looks. Physical attractiveness is just table stakes.
 
2022-10-04 6:12:08 PM  
Everything Trump touches, dies.
 
2022-10-04 6:17:44 PM  
I'm going to throw my wild assed guess into the mix and say that maybe the two of them are just sick and tired of each other's shiat and are calling it quits. It happens.
 
2022-10-04 6:19:09 PM  
She ought to start farking Jimmy G.
 
2022-10-04 6:19:41 PM  

phimuskapsi: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three

None of them have his accomplishments. Argue that TB's a shiatty human and you might be right, but hard to argue against him being the best footballer of all time. No one even comes close.


If you want to argue TB's the best pro quarterback of the 21st century, I'd probably have to agree. But he's also been the most coddled and pampered QB ever, bar none. Geez, the NFL changed the rules of the game to better suit the sort of offense he plays. If that wasn't enough, he always seemed to get the officials to throw penalty flags whenever he needed a break. Defensive linemen routinely appeared to draw "roughing the passer" calls if they even looked the wrong way at Brady.

Brady deserves genuine respect for his accomplishments on the football field in the modern era. But some of the legends of the game, guys like Montana, Staubach, Starr, Unitas, and Young (heck, even Terry Bradshaw before he became a talking head), did more with less talent around them -- and while absorbing far more punishment -- than Brady ever had to face in the course of his very successful career. By all means, give TB the credit he's earned. But to say he's the GOAT strikes me as ignoring a lot of the history of football before him.

\ and no, I don't want those kids off my lawn 'cause they're all right
 
2022-10-04 6:19:58 PM  

SplittingAces: [Fark user image image 685x640]


What's especially funny is that it's not really out of the realm of possibility.
 
2022-10-04 6:22:03 PM  

phimuskapsi: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three

None of them have his accomplishments. Argue that TB's a shiatty human and you might be right, but hard to argue against him being the best footballer of all time. No one even comes close.


Don't bother answering the troll. I have it farkied for shiatposting in sports threads.
 
2022-10-04 6:37:18 PM  
I remember when she and Leo were a thing. He'll be dating her daughter soon.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-04 6:40:55 PM  

Philimus: phimuskapsi: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three

None of them have his accomplishments. Argue that TB's a shiatty human and you might be right, but hard to argue against him being the best footballer of all time. No one even comes close.

If you want to argue TB's the best pro quarterback of the 21st century, I'd probably have to agree. But he's also been the most coddled and pampered QB ever, bar none. Geez, the NFL changed the rules of the game to better suit the sort of offense he plays. If that wasn't enough, he always seemed to get the officials to throw penalty flags whenever he needed a break. Defensive linemen routinely appeared to draw "roughing the passer" calls if they even looked the wrong way at Brady.

Brady deserves genuine respect for his accomplishments on the football field in the modern era. But some of the legends of the game, guys like Montana, Staubach, Starr, Unitas, and Young (heck, even Terry Bradshaw before he became a talking head), did more with less talent around them -- and while absorbing far more punishment -- than Brady ever had to face in the course of his very successful career. By all means, give TB the credit he's earned. But to say he's the GOAT strikes me as ignoring a lot of the history of football before him.

\ and no, I don't want those kids off my lawn 'cause they're all right


Ahahaahah, thanks I needed a laugh.
 
2022-10-04 6:42:15 PM  

mudesi: Dude, farking retire already.  What kind of a massive ego does it take to throw your entire family away AFTER you've achieved literally EVERYTHING you've ever wanted in your career?


He cheated to get those rings so now he is haunted by the thought that he never was and never will be good enough.
 
2022-10-04 6:42:46 PM  
I am deflating
 
2022-10-04 6:44:45 PM  

Clash City Farker: cryinoutloud: She doesn't want the spice anymore?  That's too bad, with those kids.  Farking handsome family, what else?
You know about the spice?


Yeah, from this show.  It's pretty obscure, you probably haven't heard of it.  Real underground.
 
2022-10-04 6:57:27 PM  

phimuskapsi: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three

None of them have his accomplishments. Argue that TB's a shiatty human and you might be right, but hard to argue against him being the best footballer of all time. No one even comes close.


He's a known cheat.
 
2022-10-04 7:16:15 PM  
I wonder if Gisele will spill the beans on how much of a MAGA man Tom Brady actually is.
 
2022-10-04 7:21:37 PM  

Deja vu all over again: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three

Please. I loved the Snake, even have an personally autographed copy copy of his autobiography, but Brady has more Super Bowl wins than Stabler had years as a top tier QB.


Super Bowl wins alone aren't a good metric.  Winning one is a team effort.  You have to take a lot of other factors into consideration, otherwise you have to conceed that Trent Dilfer and Joe Flacco are better QBs than Dan Marino.
 
2022-10-04 7:24:50 PM  

Neondistraction: Deja vu all over again: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: He's the best QB in the history of the game,

BullF**ingShiat, Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and Kenny Stabler would like a word or three

Please. I loved the Snake, even have an personally autographed copy copy of his autobiography, but Brady has more Super Bowl wins than Stabler had years as a top tier QB.

Super Bowl wins alone aren't a good metric.  Winning one is a team effort.  You have to take a lot of other factors into consideration, otherwise you have to conceed that Trent Dilfer and Joe Flacco are better QBs than Dan Marino.


Least they know to hold the ball laces out.
 
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