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(Daily Record (UK))   Local cat returns from controversial chess match with a theme-appropriate gift for its hoomans   (dailyrecord.co.uk) divider line
33
    More: Weird, Deodorant, Rachel Masterman, Sex toy, Cat, Air freshener, Celebrity, Anal beads, Anal sex  
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4113 clicks; posted to Main » and D'awww » on 03 Oct 2022 at 2:00 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
RodneyToady [TotalFark]
2022-10-03 1:24:52 PM  
I think it just means my cat found someone who cheats at chess.
 
RodneyToady [TotalFark]
2022-10-03 1:45:10 PM  

RodneyToady: I think it just means my cat found someone who cheats at chess.


When I made that comment, the headline didn't refer to chess.

I swear, I'd pay extra for a "delete comment" feature on Fark for situations like this.
 
OdradekRex [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-03 2:02:45 PM  
Poor cat looks like it already has herpes on its mouth.
 
Madman drummers bummers [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-03 2:06:50 PM  
"I took them from the dog, ma, I swear!"
 
Teddy Brosevelt
2022-10-03 2:07:30 PM  
the proper way to use anal beads is to put them all the way in, grab the end and yank like you're trying to pull-start a lawnmower.
 
stuhayes2010
2022-10-03 2:11:21 PM  
Well, A+ for inventing a story that probably isn't true, very original.
 
Trocadero
2022-10-03 2:11:28 PM  

Teddy Brosevelt: the proper way to use anal beads is to put them all the way in, grab the end and yank like you're trying to pull-start a lawnmower.


American Dad - Starting the Lawnmower
Youtube wYzokfQSy9g
 
Isitoveryet
2022-10-03 2:14:40 PM  
look more like large balls to me.

it's always grotesquely overboard with this sort of thing, isn't it.
can't just be beads, no, they're too small, your ass needs a VW to get off, sluts.

and then to leave they out so a farking cat could get them, poor kitty.
 
patcarew [BareFark]
2022-10-03 2:21:17 PM  
FTA: "Just inbox me"

I love learning new slang.
 
nytmare
2022-10-03 2:23:03 PM  
Looks more like a hair tie than a butt toy.
 
LouisZepher
2022-10-03 2:28:23 PM  

OdradekRex: Poor cat looks like it already has herpes on its mouth.


Nah. Mama told him what they were for.
 
tom baker's scarf
2022-10-03 2:28:42 PM  
i don't think that is what they are (why the divots? why only 2?) but this being fark i think we can adapt this chestnut to suit

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
shamen123
2022-10-03 2:33:47 PM  
Yep the "cat brought them home"

Course it did. We believe you (now the world knows you like big balls being pulled out of your flapping ring piece)
 
gopher321 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-03 2:38:45 PM  
Oblig:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Oneiros [OhFark]
2022-10-03 2:43:15 PM  

nytmare: Looks more like a hair tie than a butt toy.


Yes and no.

Usually the hair ones are connected by two pieces of elastic, without having that extra loop on one side:
i5.walmartimages.comView Full Size


But you're right in that it looks rather similar.

I'm not familiar with how much variation there is in anal beads, so can't confirm if those are or aren't.
 
pastramithemosterotic
2022-10-03 2:47:46 PM  
Cats do not abide by the laws of nature. There's no telling how he obtained those
 
shamen123
2022-10-03 2:48:08 PM  

Oneiros: nytmare: Looks more like a hair tie than a butt toy.

Yes and no.

Usually the hair ones are connected by two pieces of elastic, without having that extra loop on one side:
[i5.walmartimages.com image 500x500]

But you're right in that it looks rather similar.

I'm not familiar with how much variation there is in anal beads, so can't confirm if those are or aren't.


Its the daily record. They don't know their anal beads from their Ben wa balls.
 
Kitty2.0 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-03 2:49:33 PM  
Those aren't anal beads or Ben Wa balls. They are however a cheap knock version of the idea of Ben Wa balls -- they're for kegel exercises.

Insert, walk around, and try to keep them inside.
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-03 3:02:11 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


"By any chance, did your kitty bring home a jade colored egg recently?"
 
Gordon Bennett [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-10-03 3:09:57 PM  
Not a sex toy. Just a toy.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
ElPrimitivo [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-10-03 3:18:10 PM  

Gordon Bennett: Not a sex toy. Just a toy.

[Fark user image image 340x266]


You lack imagination.
 
Kalyco Jack
2022-10-03 3:19:46 PM  

Teddy Brosevelt: the proper way to use anal beads is to put them all the way in, grab the end and yank like you're trying to pull-start a lawnmower.


Ah! I see you've had to pull-start subby's mom too!
 
waxbeans [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-10-03 3:20:39 PM  
Are those butt beeds? I think those are shoe freshners
 
Excelsior
2022-10-03 3:43:00 PM  
https://www.amazon.com/Bungee-Cords-Canopy-Shelter-Resistant/dp/B07S69BR3S
Fark user imageView Full Size


The fact that they made this mental leap:
cdn3.whatculture.comView Full Size

...says a lot about the person itching to call the "news"paper and tell them all about it.
 
Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel
2022-10-03 3:48:18 PM  
When my cat came home with anal bees I had to get a new spell checker.
 
bubbadave1056
2022-10-03 4:34:22 PM  
Kitties, especially that one, should be kept inside for their safety as well as the safety of neighbors' belongings.
 
RedVentrue
2022-10-03 4:44:40 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: Cats do not abide by the laws of nature. There's no telling how he obtained those


Cats manifest things just by thinking about them.
 
RedVentrue
2022-10-03 4:47:13 PM  

bubbadave1056: Kitties, especially that one, should be kept inside for their safety as well as the safety of neighbors' belongings.


Looking at the expression, that cat knows what it did.
 
Kalyco Jack
2022-10-03 5:02:13 PM  

waxbeans: Are those butt beeds? I think those are shoe freshners


Anything is a butt bead if you're brave enough.
 
Ed Grubermann [TotalFark]
2022-10-03 5:24:38 PM  

Kalyco Jack: waxbeans: Are those butt beeds? I think those are shoe freshners

Anything is a butt bead if you're brave enough.


Paige, no!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
frankb00th
2022-10-03 7:13:13 PM  

Gordon Bennett: Not a sex toy. Just a toy.

[Fark user image image 340x266]


I remember the great scare those caused
 
rainbowbutter
2022-10-03 11:33:02 PM  

frankb00th: Gordon Bennett: Not a sex toy. Just a toy.

[Fark user image image 340x266]

I remember the great scar those caused


sorry to hear it!  next time, remember there's no such thing as too much lube.
 
Some Junkie Cosmonaut
2022-10-04 8:27:34 AM  

rainbowbutter: frankb00th: Gordon Bennett: Not a sex toy. Just a toy.

[Fark user image image 340x266]

I remember the great scar those caused

sorry to hear it!  next time, remember there's no such thing as too much lube.


Ehh - if you're literally sliding off the surface you're attempting to fark on 'cause you can't even get any purchase - that's too much lube
 
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