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(Al Jazeera)   Thousands of mobilized Russians deemed unfit for duty in the Russian army. No word on how many had bone spurs   (aljazeera.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Russia, World War II, Vladimir Putin, Ukrainian forces, military service, Second Chechen War, Conscription, Russian officials  
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3270 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2022 at 11:50 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



40 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-10-03 11:18:19 AM  
Imagine treating your citizens like shiat, filling their brains with propaganda and leaving them to cope with alcohol and drugs while denying them health care, vaccinations, and access to healthy food - and still expecting a bunch of super-soldiers when you call them up for service.

But let's talk about Russia...
 
2022-10-03 11:48:14 AM  
"Right, then! Private Ivan, you've been called up for mobilization!"
"But, doctor, I lost my hands in a tragic vodka distilling accident. I'm no good for the army!"
"'Course you are, you don't need hands to run through a minefield and find landmines! A+, next patient."
"Doctor, a bear gnawed off both of my legs and I have to be carried around in cart everywhere I go!"
"Doesn't matter, you can still catch bullets with the rest of them! A+, next patient!"
"Doctor, I lost my genitalia after attempting to mate with a stolen Ukrainian washing machine!"
"Hell, you're probably better off dead anyway! Go carry boxes around in a Crimean ammunition dump. A+! Next!"
"Doctor, here's an envelope for you."
"Huh. Looks like you've got an incurable case of the rubles. I better take care of these for you. Unfit for duty, next patient!"
"Doctor, due to a hospital mixup, I had the top half of a wolf sewn on my back! *ROWWR* *Bark*"
"He's got a great pelt, though! A+, next patient!"
 
2022-10-03 11:51:55 AM  
Ya know, I'm starting to think that maybe it was a bad idea for Russia to invade Ukraine.
 
2022-10-03 11:54:11 AM  
An army of thieves, criminal, and pedophiles. And those are just the American right wing that support Russia's actions.
 
2022-10-03 11:56:05 AM  
How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?
 
2022-10-03 11:57:16 AM  

fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?


Double whatever the price was 2 weeks ago.
 
2022-10-03 11:57:33 AM  

Squid_for_Brains: Imagine treating your citizens like shiat, filling their brains with propaganda and leaving them to cope with alcohol and drugs while denying them health care, vaccinations, and access to healthy food - and still expecting a bunch of super-soldiers when you call them up for service.

But let's talk about Russia...


Comrade, we never stop speaking about Russia
 
2022-10-03 11:58:28 AM  

Weaver95: Ya know, I'm starting to think that maybe it was a bad idea for Russia to invade Ukraine.


It's definitely got some drawbacks, but the world will be a better place in the end.
 
2022-10-03 12:01:29 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: Imagine treating your citizens like shiat, filling their brains with propaganda and leaving them to cope with alcohol and drugs while denying them health care, vaccinations, and access to healthy food - and still expecting a bunch of super-soldiers when you call them up for service.

But let's talk about Russia...


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-03 12:02:38 PM  

fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?


Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.
 
2022-10-03 12:03:33 PM  
Wow, I didn't realize that they were going to boot ANYONE. Give it 6 more months, and they'll be researching how to reanimate corpses to fight for them.
 
2022-10-03 12:03:56 PM  
"Nugent, you magnificent bastard. I read your book!"
 
2022-10-03 12:03:59 PM  

GregInIndy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.


Now imagine the Russian population, and how even worse that is as source material for a draft.
 
2022-10-03 12:06:36 PM  
Russian doctors chuckle revolutionly.
 
2022-10-03 12:08:35 PM  

GregInIndy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.


We have this problem with our enlistees.
Forget about draftees.

Actually, you might get better ppl in a draft. Some of them.

Those soft but well-fed middle/upper class. Seen a few soccer/lacrosse fields. Respects authority (when daddy yells).

Our enlistees are usually the bottom of the income ladders. Raised on HFCS and heavily processed foods.
 
2022-10-03 12:11:41 PM  
You get sent home if you don't have a camo Adidas track suit.
 
2022-10-03 12:13:14 PM  

MurphyMurphy: GregInIndy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.

We have this problem with our enlistees.
Forget about draftees.

Actually, you might get better ppl in a draft. Some of them.

Those soft but well-fed middle/upper class. Seen a few soccer/lacrosse fields. Respects authority (when daddy yells).

Our enlistees are usually the bottom of the income ladders. Raised on HFCS and heavily processed foods.


Oh, I know. First thing every military recruiting center here does with willing prospects is pushes them into a cardio/strength exercise routine just to make it possible they won't flop out of basic training.
 
2022-10-03 12:19:12 PM  
So the amount of gay couples in Russia is shooting through the roof now.
 
2022-10-03 12:20:52 PM  

GregInIndy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.


I feel personally attacked...
 
2022-10-03 12:21:42 PM  
"About half of them we returned home as they did not meet the selection criteria for entering the military service," Degtyarev said in a video post on the Telegram messaging app.

That's okay: the conscription officers will grab them again next month for another round of bribes.
 
2022-10-03 12:27:22 PM  
Sounds like they're moving anyone they actually has training away from the front.
 
2022-10-03 12:31:49 PM  
Bone spurs might do the trick. So will asthma.
 
2022-10-03 12:39:22 PM  
A lot of fresh recuits don't meet basic requirements?

I'm shocked!
 
2022-10-03 12:44:07 PM  
These things are tricky.  you can brag you could have been a pro baseball player during 1964 year and then tragically affected by bone spurs in 1968.

"I will never forget [...] the first time I saw my name in the newspaper," he continued. "It was when I got the winning home run in a game between our academy and Cornwall High School. It was in 1964 and it was in a little local paper. It simply said, TRUMP HOMERS TO WIN THE GAME. I just loved it and I will never forget it. It was better than actually hitting the home run." [citation].

and

Mr. Trump had been declared available for service two years earlier and undergone a physical exam, Selective Service records show. That exam did not result in a medical exemption, but he did receive an education deferment. When officials again declared him available for service in July 1968, he had exhausted four education deferments and finished school, so it was the medical exemption that kept him from being eligible.
He has often said it was "ultimately" a high draft lottery number that spared him, but Mr. Trump had been medically exempted for more than a year before the lottery began in December 1969.
Beginning in October 1968, records show, Mr. Trump had a 1-Y classification, a temporary medical exemption, meaning that he could be considered for service only in the event of a national emergency or an official declaration of war, neither of which occurred during the conflict in Vietnam. In 1972, after the 1-Y classification was abolished, his status changed to 4-F, a permanent disqualification
[citation]
 
2022-10-03 12:54:32 PM  
If you are asthamatic,you can still have a stellar career as a lifeguard and even do a few rounds in the ring with Corn Pop.
 
2022-10-03 12:58:14 PM  
I would imagine we would have similar problems in this country.
 
2022-10-03 1:01:47 PM  
I'll bet there's been a huge increase in the number of broken feet from men 'accidentally' dropping heavy things. I could handle a couple broken foot bones if it kept me off the front line.
 
2022-10-03 1:02:56 PM  
How many of them weren't drunk enough?
 
2022-10-03 1:34:30 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: You get sent home if you don't have a camo Adidas track suit.


This isn't a Proud Boys thread
 
2022-10-03 1:34:56 PM  

MurphyMurphy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Double whatever the price was 2 weeks ago.


Rimshot.gif
 
2022-10-03 2:00:50 PM  
In other news, Russia military has minimum standards. For now.
 
2022-10-03 2:20:14 PM  

GregInIndy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.


I know several potheads that do Ironman triathlon.

Don't equate weed with lazy. It's an old concept.
 
2022-10-03 2:47:11 PM  

Fancy_Bear: Bone spurs might do the trick. So will asthma.


does Biden still have asthma?
 
2022-10-03 3:18:20 PM  

GregInIndy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.


That was the case in 1980 when I applied for an NROTC scholarship and a fleet appointment to the Naval Academy.

I was in Nuke School at the time, and you were required to spend at least 50 hours a week in lectures and homework. A friend and I would get out of class for the day, go jogging or play racketball, just something physical to let the brain rest.

Time comes for the PT test, and there were 8 or 9 guys besides myself and my friend. We were the only two who could do 20 pull-ups. There was one test where you got on your knees and had to throw a soccer ball as far as possible. Most of the guys did the 2-handed overhead toss, and might have gotten 25 yards. I had played soccer in HS as goalie, and did the one-armed, twist-at-the-waist side toss. Bounced it off a wall 40 yards away. My friend did the same.

We both maxed out the points. We both got Naval Academy fleet appointments, and I got the NROTC scholarship as well. I'm not sure the others got a scholarship offer.
 
2022-10-03 3:40:36 PM  
This is disappointing. If those guys showed up at the front they'd be such a detriment that it would be like adding the equivalent number of combat veterans to the Ukrainian side.
 
2022-10-03 4:03:22 PM  

jjorsett: This is disappointing. If those guys showed up at the front they'd be such a detriment that it would be like adding the equivalent number of combat veterans to the Ukrainian side.


I don't know, the slow moving, fat-bodied dimwits would be useful at soaking up ammunition and gumming up tires and treads.

And using bodies to soak up ammunition might've worked, if other countries hadn't started sending supplies to Ukraine. Now the Russians have just become target practice.
 
2022-10-03 4:38:13 PM  

indy_kid: GregInIndy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.

That was the case in 1980 when I applied for an NROTC scholarship and a fleet appointment to the Naval Academy.

I was in Nuke School at the time, and you were required to spend at least 50 hours a week in lectures and homework. A friend and I would get out of class for the day, go jogging or play racketball, just something physical to let the brain rest.

Time comes for the PT test, and there were 8 or 9 guys besides myself and my friend. We were the only two who could do 20 pull-ups. There was one test where you got on your knees and had to throw a soccer ball as far as possible. Most of the guys did the 2-handed overhead toss, and might have gotten 25 yards. I had played soccer in HS as goalie, and did the one-armed, twist-at-the-waist side toss. Bounced it off a wall 40 yards away. My friend did the same.

We both maxed out the points. We both got Naval Academy fleet appointments, and I got the NROTC scholarship as well. I'm not sure the others got a scholarship offer.


Cool story bro.

I watched my youngest graduate from Great Lakes last month.  All 900 kids were squeaky clean and healthy.  I did not see any cause for worry about the Navy's immediate future.  Kid decided she likes PT and wants to be a Marine Corp field medic.
 
2022-10-03 4:44:15 PM  

Turbo Cojones: Cool story bro.

I watched my youngest graduate from Great Lakes last month. All 900 kids were squeaky clean and healthy. I did not see any cause for worry about the Navy's immediate future. Kid decided she likes PT and wants to be a Marine Corp field medic.


That's people who wanted to join. Not the great unwashed masses. You draft those, you're going to be sorting out the dead wood. Russia already burned though tens of thousands of people who joined willingly.
 
2022-10-03 7:11:05 PM  

GregInIndy: fragMasterFlash: How much does it cost to be deemed unfit to become cannon fodder?

Imagine a draft here, and the vast percentages of fatsos, drunkards & potheads that would be reporting.

It's not hardly the 60's anymore. Your average adult male is SO completely out of shape these days. Even the non-tubby / addled ones would be hard-pressed to run a mile in under 12 minutes or complete more than 1-2 pull-ups.


It's nothing an extra 90 days of boot camp couldn't fix.  We could overcome this problem with enough money and time.  Russia doesn't have any of those options.
 
2022-10-03 8:47:55 PM  
I wonder how the US would fare if there was a general call-up for duty?

There are parts of the US that are just as poor off as Russia.

(Mainly because they are run by local politicians who look to Russia as an example of how to govern.)
 
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