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(MSN)   Florida Man swims half a mile, ostensibly to save his mom. Article doesn't explain why he took a ton of action selfies and then called the media   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Sappy, Family, Flood, Johnny Lauder dove, Tropical cyclone, Hurricane Ian, Florida, debris-filled waters, next day  
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2522 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2022 at 10:35 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-10-03 9:18:03 AM  
It's like a rescue scene from a movie.
 
2022-10-03 10:39:13 AM  
No way.  I saw that movie!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-03 10:40:16 AM  
His mistake was not making a TikTok video with Fleetwood Mac's Dreams playing in the background. Mistake like that will cost the guy millions.
 
2022-10-03 10:48:28 AM  

ChrisDe: His mistake was not making a TikTok video with Fleetwood Mac's Dreams playing in the background. Mistake like that will cost the guy millions...of viewers


/ftfy
 
2022-10-03 10:48:42 AM  
cdn.costumewall.comView Full Size
 
2022-10-03 10:59:17 AM  
Article does explain.

Gofundme page
 
2022-10-03 11:06:50 AM  
"She's a very stubborn 84-year-old woman," Lauder said. "And she said, 'You're not taking me anywhere. I won't have any privacy. I'm staying home.' "

Figures her name is Karen.
 
2022-10-03 11:17:50 AM  
Hey ma, before I get you out of the salty brine of diesel fuel, gasoline, grease, solvents, and raw sewage, how about a selfie?
 
2022-10-03 11:20:56 AM  
But did he get the beer?
 
2022-10-03 11:23:23 AM  
I hate these farking stories.  "People help others after natural disaster!"   Yeah, that's newsworthy.  Particularly if it's your MOTHER.  Like what the fack else do people do after a disaster?  If they're OK, they go out and help other people.

Here's a feel-good story:  People helped each other!  It's rarer than cats lying down with dogs, we have to report it, and in this breathless fashion that implies that we've gone above and beyond in our humanity, instead of just acting LIKE HUMAN BEINGS.  Man rescues dog!  Man rescues dog AND small child!  Well, good thing the media was there, or he would have just left them to drown.
People helping other people is how the world is supposed to work.  You just think it's newsworthy because you're a farking millennial, the people who made self-satisfied attention-whoring  into a lifestyle.  Hey, make sure you get that rescue on video.  No one will know who you are otherwise.
 
2022-10-03 11:23:51 AM  
"...said he was prepared to do anything to save his mother, Karen Roberta, whose legs are amputated "

/   sorry
//  window seat, please
/// threes
 
2022-10-03 11:29:54 AM  
During the next hurricane, however, he won't be around to dive into the water. "I'm going to leave early and make it a vacation with my family," he said.
And for anyone who might be hesitant to evacuate, Lauder urges them to reconsider.
"Please heed the warnings," he said. "I'd still save my mother all over again, but it's definitely better to not stick around."


(Down here at the bottom in very small print, we'll just add that this guy and his family was one of the ones ORDERED to evacuate in this disaster, and he didn't.  This disaster was all of his own making.)
fark this "feel-good story."  Stop giving publicity to morons who are too stupid to save themselves, but will demonstrate how bootstrappy they are, as soon as CNN shows up.
Better people than you evacuated, and still lost their homes, and didn't need to make it all about their heroic actions because they decided not to evacuate.
But it was totally worth it, because now he's gone viral.
 
2022-10-03 11:30:28 AM  

JK8Fan: Hey ma, before I get you out of the salty brine of diesel fuel, gasoline, grease, solvents, and raw sewage, how about a selfie?


Yeah, that lead pic caught my attention, as in, why in the fark are you taking photos instead of saving your mom as soon as possible?
 
2022-10-03 11:33:38 AM  
FTFA: "She's a very stubborn 84-year-old woman," Lauder said. "And she said, 'You're not taking me anywhere. I won't have any privacy. I'm staying home."

Ok. Far be it from me to convince someone with a death wish against fulfilling it.
 
2022-10-03 11:38:24 AM  

danvon: FTFA: "She's a very stubborn 84-year-old woman," Lauder said. "And she said, 'You're not taking me anywhere. I won't have any privacy. I'm staying home."

Ok. Far be it from me to convince someone with a death wish against fulfilling it.


When I'm that old I certainly hope someone trustworthy has a durable power of attorney over me so they can tell me to STFU and I'm being Gotten TFO of town before the storm hits.
 
2022-10-03 11:39:09 AM  
I'm more concerned as to why he left her in a flood plain in the first place.  Oh, wait.  I see it now.  He's a retired police officer.  That means he knows all about creating problems so that he can take credit for fixing them.
 
2022-10-03 11:44:41 AM  
Probably Hero-worships this guy.........
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-03 11:50:01 AM  
"Hi mom! Good to see you are safe. Would you mind standing in the middle of the living room and act like you are drowning? It is for my Instagram."
 
2022-10-03 11:52:22 AM  
Reminds me of the guy who made sure to set his phone/cam up before rescuing a guy from a burning car:
Gotta get the shot!!
 
2022-10-03 11:56:07 AM  

cryinoutloud: I hate these farking stories.  "People help others after natural disaster!"   Yeah, that's newsworthy.  Particularly if it's your MOTHER.  Like what the fack else do people do after a disaster?  If they're OK, they go out and help other people.

Here's a feel-good story:  People helped each other!  It's rarer than cats lying down with dogs, we have to report it, and in this breathless fashion that implies that we've gone above and beyond in our humanity, instead of just acting LIKE HUMAN BEINGS.  Man rescues dog!  Man rescues dog AND small child!  Well, good thing the media was there, or he would have just left them to drown.
People helping other people is how the world is supposed to work.  You just think it's newsworthy because you're a farking millennial, the people who made self-satisfied attention-whoring  into a lifestyle.  Hey, make sure you get that rescue on video.  No one will know who you are otherwise.


After Hugo (89) in Charlotte, the gouging was epic. Gas stations were charging 12 bucks a bag for ice.  Gas was like 9 bucks a gallon. People bought up all the generators and were selling 600 dollar gennys for like 1200+ out of the backs of their trucks. Governor had to step in and tell them to knock that shiat off. An anti gouging law was quickly established after that.
 
2022-10-03 12:01:47 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: JK8Fan: Hey ma, before I get you out of the salty brine of diesel fuel, gasoline, grease, solvents, and raw sewage, how about a selfie?

Yeah, that lead pic caught my attention, as in, why in the fark are you taking photos instead of saving your mom as soon as possible?


So you can remind her and rub it her face.
"Hey mom, remember when I told you you needed to get out of the house and you refused? Yeah, who's this dog paddling in a pool of filth, screaming to be rescued? Looks kinda like you. Oh, it is! And remember when I said you shouldn't vote for Trump? I've been seeing your Trump 2024 posts...and remember that time I had to rescue you from a problem of your own making? Let's check out that picture again..."
 
2022-10-03 12:02:52 PM  
"The outpouring of support from the community also keeps him going. His sister-in-law, who lives in Miami, organized a GoFundMe account that has raised over $3,400 to help the family start from scratch."

Stop paying people to live in a swamp.
 
2022-10-03 12:11:17 PM  
The first two words of your headline explained everything
 
2022-10-03 12:24:30 PM  

MythDragon: thisisyourbrainonFark: JK8Fan: Hey ma, before I get you out of the salty brine of diesel fuel, gasoline, grease, solvents, and raw sewage, how about a selfie?

Yeah, that lead pic caught my attention, as in, why in the fark are you taking photos instead of saving your mom as soon as possible?

So you can remind her and rub it her face.
"Hey mom, remember when I told you you needed to get out of the house and you refused? Yeah, who's this dog paddling in a pool of filth, screaming to be rescued? Looks kinda like you. Oh, it is! And remember when I said you shouldn't vote for Trump? I've been seeing your Trump 2024 posts...and remember that time I had to rescue you from a problem of your own making? Let's check out that picture again..."


FTA: "Lauder, his mom and his son all have homes in the same Naples community. They had chosen not to evacuate and did their best to prepare before Ian hit."

Less rub her face in it, more acorn/tree
 
2022-10-03 12:27:43 PM  

gottagopee: MythDragon: thisisyourbrainonFark: JK8Fan: Hey ma, before I get you out of the salty brine of diesel fuel, gasoline, grease, solvents, and raw sewage, how about a selfie?

Yeah, that lead pic caught my attention, as in, why in the fark are you taking photos instead of saving your mom as soon as possible?

So you can remind her and rub it her face.
"Hey mom, remember when I told you you needed to get out of the house and you refused? Yeah, who's this dog paddling in a pool of filth, screaming to be rescued? Looks kinda like you. Oh, it is! And remember when I said you shouldn't vote for Trump? I've been seeing your Trump 2024 posts...and remember that time I had to rescue you from a problem of your own making? Let's check out that picture again..."

FTA: "Lauder, his mom and his son all have homes in the same Naples community. They had chosen not to evacuate and did their best to prepare before Ian hit."

Less rub her face in it, more acorn/tree


Shiat doesn't fall far from the ass.
 
2022-10-03 12:35:56 PM  

MythDragon: After Hugo (89) in Charlotte, the gouging was epic. Gas stations were charging 12 bucks a bag for ice.  Gas was like 9 bucks a gallon. People bought up all the generators and were selling 600 dollar gennys for like 1200+ out of the backs of their trucks. Governor had to step in and tell them to knock that shiat off. An anti gouging law was quickly established after that.


And?  Would you like me to go off on the same rant I usually do? That's BUSINESS, and nobody runs a business today unless they lack the milk of human kindness.  It's admired, right?  "He's a good businessman!"  well, that was the world you all wanted.  That's what you want--money and power.  So now if someone takes their boat out and helps people, after years of not giving a shiat about anything about his own money and power, this is a big story.  "Man rescues family from house and IS NOT PAID FOR IT!"  Now that's a damn story.

This is the world you all wanted--where acting like human beings is newsworthy, because the financial pages take up much more room and are much more important when it comes to things that are "newsworthy."  The stock market is supposedly the most important thing on earth, the way the news treats it.  And you all eat it right up--I spend a lot of time on the business articles, where posters are breathlessly posting all these numbers and charts and figuring out how fast they can be rich, and who is stupider than they are, and will not become rich.

This is all very, very important. you farkers live for it.  And these are not the sort of people who will go out in their boat after the flood and rescue people, are they?  Of course not--they evacuated to their other house in New York.  But since we can't talk about THAT--you can't say bad things about people with money--let's find some people who don't have money and act like human beings, and pretend that this is an anomaly, instead of how people act when they are not completely corrupted by money and snobbery.

The economic distortion of everything is so ingrained, we don't even notice it anymore.  I notice it.  It's like writing a story about how surprised scientists were when they discovered that apes have emotions and can care for others.  Interesting.
But the real story will be when they start up banks.   SIMPLY AMAZING
 
2022-10-03 12:39:42 PM  

NM Volunteer: gottagopee: MythDragon: thisisyourbrainonFark: JK8Fan: Hey ma, before I get you out of the salty brine of diesel fuel, gasoline, grease, solvents, and raw sewage, how about a selfie?

Yeah, that lead pic caught my attention, as in, why in the fark are you taking photos instead of saving your mom as soon as possible?

So you can remind her and rub it her face.
"Hey mom, remember when I told you you needed to get out of the house and you refused? Yeah, who's this dog paddling in a pool of filth, screaming to be rescued? Looks kinda like you. Oh, it is! And remember when I said you shouldn't vote for Trump? I've been seeing your Trump 2024 posts...and remember that time I had to rescue you from a problem of your own making? Let's check out that picture again..."

FTA: "Lauder, his mom and his son all have homes in the same Naples community. They had chosen not to evacuate and did their best to prepare before Ian hit."

Less rub her face in it, more acorn/tree

Shiat doesn't fall far from the ass.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-03 12:40:15 PM  
Fox is flooding their broadcasts with these stories.  I assume to champion the resilience of "true Americans."  I visited my mother on Friday, she was parked in her chair watching the Fox coverage of Ian.  They had a segment where a guy was using his boat to pick up people in Sarasota stranded in the flooded homes, ferrying them to higher ground.  They were under mandatory evacuation orders, but they chose to stay.  The Fox anchor had the prerequisite old coot to interview: "...been through 10 hurricanes, never evacuated, usually they amount to nothing..."  Warm chuckle.

Then they interview the guy who's ferrying people with his boat, give him a lot of time, where he gives his commentary: "...I just want to help out, these people need help, so we're all coming together.  What I've seen, it's about 8 to 1 ratio of private sector to public sector helping out down here."

Who the fark talks like that, needs to try to make a political point at that time?  Of course they never comment that these people created their own danger and put others in danger by ignoring warnings.
 
2022-10-03 1:11:56 PM  

gottagopee: NM Volunteer: gottagopee: MythDragon: thisisyourbrainonFark: JK8Fan: Hey ma, before I get you out of the salty brine of diesel fuel, gasoline, grease, solvents, and raw sewage, how about a selfie?

Yeah, that lead pic caught my attention, as in, why in the fark are you taking photos instead of saving your mom as soon as possible?

So you can remind her and rub it her face.
"Hey mom, remember when I told you you needed to get out of the house and you refused? Yeah, who's this dog paddling in a pool of filth, screaming to be rescued? Looks kinda like you. Oh, it is! And remember when I said you shouldn't vote for Trump? I've been seeing your Trump 2024 posts...and remember that time I had to rescue you from a problem of your own making? Let's check out that picture again..."

FTA: "Lauder, his mom and his son all have homes in the same Naples community. They had chosen not to evacuate and did their best to prepare before Ian hit."

Less rub her face in it, more acorn/tree

Shiat doesn't fall far from the ass.

[Fark user image image 425x240]


I have to admit, after some thought, that I'm conflicted over this particular evacuation story.

While it's easy to scorn them for apparent bootstrappiness, there's a whole farkton of extra problems, expense, and time involved in evacuating a double amputee - or other mobility-limited elderly relative, esp one with "I ain't movin'!" 'tude.

I'll retract my acorn/tree comment, despite retired cop and selfie stupidity, and and give him a more generous motivation.

Fact is, in this country lacking universal healthcare and social safety nets, we're each of us only one bad illness or accident away from being disabled.
 
2022-10-03 2:25:20 PM  
You want to preserve those core family memories.
 
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