Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(MSN)   My Maserati went 185, the teen that stole it couldn't drive   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Police, Sheriff, Pinellas County, Constable, Coroner, Crime, Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri, criminal history  
•       •       •

3777 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2022 at 9:05 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



89 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-10-02 9:08:55 PM  
FTA: "they found that the Maserati's door was unlocked.
They found the keys inside
"

Yeah, insurance isn't covering this one. Sorry owner.
 
2022-10-02 9:09:02 PM  
Bullshiat. My headline was much better.
 
2022-10-02 9:10:30 PM  
the teen that stole it, he couldn't drive

FTFY, subby
 
2022-10-02 9:12:30 PM  
Malachi got crunched.
 
2022-10-02 9:13:08 PM  

drayno76: FTA: "they found that the Maserati's door was unlocked.
They found the keys inside"

Yeah, insurance isn't covering this one. Sorry owner.


That's the story they are telling despite one being dead and the other in critical condition.
 
2022-10-02 9:14:08 PM  
One less useless shiatbag to worry about, now smack the accomplice with a felony murder rap and flush him out of society too.
 
2022-10-02 9:17:03 PM  

X-Geek: the teen that stole it, he couldn't drive

FTFY, subby


or just couldn't drive
 
2022-10-02 9:17:38 PM  
Your dads awesome set of tools won't fix this.
 
2022-10-02 9:17:41 PM  
I was hoping this was going to be another article about a teenager foiled by a stick-shift.

/also love articles about teenagers baffled by cursive script.
 
2022-10-02 9:21:13 PM  

Bslim: now smack the accomplice with a felony murder rap


45 days in jail; with soymilk?

The murderers of DC cops on Jan 6th are still walking free, some are even voting in Congress.
 
2022-10-02 9:21:28 PM  
"one of the teen's parents had recently moved him to a new school in an effort to prevent them from engaging in criminal behaviour."

Well, that worked out great.
 
2022-10-02 9:21:41 PM  

Bslim: One less useless shiatbag to worry about, now smack the accomplice with a felony murder rap and flush him out of society too.


This!

Seriously.  This needs to be the result.

Also ban all ICE vehicles other than mass transit or smart car class vehicles.

Problem solved.

At least in the US.  We are enlightened and don't need super cars.  We can have trans warp shuttles in the metaverse.
 
2022-10-02 9:22:03 PM  

Madman drummers bummers: "one of the teen's parents had recently moved him to a new school in an effort to prevent them from engaging in criminal behaviour."

Well, that worked out great.


According to the sheriff, the teens did not have much of a criminal history

Ummm they are teens, they shouldn't have any criminal history
 
2022-10-02 9:23:21 PM  
The owner will be sued for leaving keys in his car by the families of the car thieves.
 
2022-10-02 9:25:32 PM  

AmbassadorBooze: Bslim: One less useless shiatbag to worry about, now smack the accomplice with a felony murder rap and flush him out of society too.

This!

Seriously.  This needs to be the result.

Also ban all ICE vehicles other than mass transit or smart car class vehicles.

Problem solved.

At least in the US.  We are enlightened and don't need super cars.  We can have trans warp shuttles in the metaverse.


THIS!
 
2022-10-02 9:26:17 PM  

drayno76: FTA: "they found that the Maserati's door was unlocked.
They found the keys inside"

Yeah, insurance isn't covering this one. Sorry owner.


He can buy another.
 
2022-10-02 9:28:41 PM  
I love how they mention the brand of car.  This would not make the news if it was a prius..
A maserati parked in the street or driveway with the keys inside is likely am older model and relatively cheap.

Maserati is not the status symbol they one were.

If you can afford a real status symbol car you already have a garage to keep it in.
 
2022-10-02 9:29:16 PM  

Ketchuponsteak: drayno76: FTA: "they found that the Maserati's door was unlocked.
They found the keys inside"

Yeah, insurance isn't covering this one. Sorry owner.

He can buy another.


Why? They found it. It's right there. And there. And over there.
 
2022-10-02 9:29:59 PM  

Your Hind Brain: The owner will be sued for leaving keys in his car by the families of the car thieves.


Good.
 
2022-10-02 9:31:21 PM  

Your Hind Brain: The owner will be sued for leaving keys in his car by the families of the car thieves.


Then he should countersue them for raising public nuisances.
 
2022-10-02 9:33:41 PM  
Physics is a harsh mistress. And doesn't care if you're stupid.
 
2022-10-02 9:34:44 PM  

jmr61: Bullshiat. My headline was much better.


I imagine it was since this one doesn't have the timing right
 
2022-10-02 9:36:02 PM  
One less Florida Man.
 
2022-10-02 9:36:27 PM  

ctighe2353: I love how they mention the brand of car.  This would not make the news if it was a prius..
A maserati parked in the street or driveway with the keys inside is likely am older model and relatively cheap.

Maserati is not the status symbol they one were.

If you can afford a real status symbol car you already have a garage to keep it in.


Yes, no one ever goes beyond their means to lease a sports car...
 
2022-10-02 9:36:43 PM  
Life had been good to them so far.
 
2022-10-02 9:39:47 PM  
Did the teens find the car keys hidden in the visor, like people in the movies always find car keys?
 
2022-10-02 9:43:24 PM  

puffy999: jmr61: Bullshiat. My headline was much better.

I imagine it was since this one doesn't have the timing right


Bullshiat, this one works, you just don't know how to do music.

/not subby
 
2022-10-02 9:44:13 PM  

skinink: Did the teens find the car keys hidden in the visor, like people in the movies always find car keys?


blog.silentsignal.euView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 9:45:03 PM  

ctighe2353: Madman drummers bummers: "one of the teen's parents had recently moved him to a new school in an effort to prevent them from engaging in criminal behaviour."

Well, that worked out great.

According to the sheriff, the teens did not have much of a criminal history

Ummm they are teens, they shouldn't have any criminal history


That's what I was thinking. At 15, if you have much of a criminal history you are aspiring to be a career criminal.
 
2022-10-02 9:47:26 PM  
Is the building OK? It's the only non-douchy element of this story.
 
2022-10-02 9:48:20 PM  

Madman drummers bummers: Your Hind Brain: The owner will be sued for leaving keys in his car by the families of the car thieves.

Then he should countersue them for raising public nuisances.


Attractive Nuisance v. Public Nuisance et al. The only winners are the attorneys.
 
2022-10-02 9:48:35 PM  

drayno76: FTA: "they found that the Maserati's door was unlocked.
They found the keys inside"

Yeah, insurance isn't covering this one. Sorry owner.


Yes it is. Either learn the subject or keep quiet.
 
2022-10-02 9:49:47 PM  
I once knew a kid who very much wanted to grow up to be Al Capone. The last I ever heard of him he botched a high-end burglary, snatched the homeowners Porsche to try and make a getaway only to end up crashed and committed to the mental hospital of last resort. Sucks to be you, "Huey".
 
2022-10-02 9:51:24 PM  

waxbeans: Your Hind Brain: The owner will be sued for leaving keys in his car by the families of the car thieves.

Good.


Also false. Everyone in this site is getting dumber. How is that possible?
 
2022-10-02 9:51:49 PM  
Top Gear- How Hard Can It Be?
Youtube uL0ROeZw7wA
 
2022-10-02 9:55:20 PM  

almejita: puffy999: jmr61: Bullshiat. My headline was much better.

I imagine it was since this one doesn't have the timing right

Bullshiat, this one works, you just don't know how to do music.

/not subby


What, because there's an unwritten dramatic pause instead of a word?

The Simpsons S09E17 "You have to listen to the notes she's NOT playing"
Youtube BbeilmP2wY8
 
2022-10-02 9:55:37 PM  
Who leaves the keys in an unlocked car that is unreliable and expensive to maintain? Someone that is hoping it isn't still there when they return.
 
2022-10-02 9:56:01 PM  
Who the fark leaves their car keys in their car? And how is someone that dumb rich enough to buy a Maserati?
 
2022-10-02 9:56:31 PM  
Subby you managed to ruin the meter.  Just count the syllables and match them, FFS. This is not rocket surgery.
 
2022-10-02 9:56:41 PM  

ctighe2353: I love how they mention the brand of car.  This would not make the news if it was a prius..


Dunno. I'd be interested in a story about a Prius doing 185 mph. I don't think they'd do that in free fall.
 
2022-10-02 10:03:07 PM  

puffy999: almejita: puffy999: jmr61: Bullshiat. My headline was much better.

I imagine it was since this one doesn't have the timing right

Bullshiat, this one works, you just don't know how to do music.

/not subby

What, because there's an unwritten dramatic pause instead of a word?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/BbeilmP2wY8]


you gotta put the pause after stole, and a big 'it' in 'it couldn't drive'

really push the 'it'
 
2022-10-02 10:06:27 PM  

WelldeadLink: Ketchuponsteak: drayno76: FTA: "they found that the Maserati's door was unlocked.
They found the keys inside"

Yeah, insurance isn't covering this one. Sorry owner.

He can buy another.

Why? They found it. It's right there. And there. And over there.


At least it's all over.

Seriously, though, I hope Keondrick has nightmares about killing his friends. Probably won't, but we can hope.
 
2022-10-02 10:06:58 PM  

gameshowhost: Subby you managed to ruin the meter.  Just count the syllables and match them, FFS. This is not rocket surgery.


But it's a Fark tradition and practically guarantees a green if the meter sucks.
 
2022-10-02 10:08:24 PM  
Oh hi, what's going on in this thread?

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 10:09:46 PM  

almejita: puffy999: almejita: puffy999: jmr61: Bullshiat. My headline was much better.

I imagine it was since this one doesn't have the timing right

Bullshiat, this one works, you just don't know how to do music.

/not subby

What, because there's an unwritten dramatic pause instead of a word?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/BbeilmP2wY8]

you gotta put the pause after stole, and a big 'it' in 'it couldn't drive'

really push the 'it'


Yeah but that sucks lyrically anyway

Now a cymbal "tap-tap-tap* or *bang-ding-CRASH* after a short "it" would work
 
2022-10-02 10:13:19 PM  

puffy999: almejita: puffy999: almejita: puffy999: jmr61: Bullshiat. My headline was much better.

I imagine it was since this one doesn't have the timing right

Bullshiat, this one works, you just don't know how to do music.

/not subby

What, because there's an unwritten dramatic pause instead of a word?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/BbeilmP2wY8]

you gotta put the pause after stole, and a big 'it' in 'it couldn't drive'

really push the 'it'

Yeah but that sucks lyrically anyway

Now a cymbal "tap-tap-tap* or *bang-ding-CRASH* after a short "it" would work


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 10:14:42 PM  

LouisZepher: WelldeadLink: Ketchuponsteak: drayno76: FTA: "they found that the Maserati's door was unlocked.
They found the keys inside"

Yeah, insurance isn't covering this one. Sorry owner.

He can buy another.

Why? They found it. It's right there. And there. And over there.

At least it's all over.

Seriously, though, I hope Keondrick has nightmares about killing his friends. Probably won't, but we can hope.


Bruh, it's not my fault, bruh. They didn't fasten their seatbelts, bruh. They distracted me, bruh. Bruh, they were streaming on Snapchat, bruh. Bruh.
 
2022-10-02 10:15:13 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: Who the fark leaves their car keys in their car? And how is someone that dumb rich enough to buy a Maserati?


Oh, a lot of stupid people have way too much money.
 
2022-10-02 10:16:40 PM  

farkingismybusiness: Malachi got crunched.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 10:19:12 PM  

Madman drummers bummers: "one of the teen's parents had recently moved him to a new school in an effort to prevent them from engaging in criminal behaviour."

Well, that worked out great.


But "the teens did not have much of a criminal history...."

How much is too much criminal history and how much is just right?  Asking for my teenager
 
Displayed 50 of 89 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.