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(AL.com)   "Tainted Halloween candy" deaths since 1958 number... *checks records*... zero   (al.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Heroin, Drug addiction, Morphine, deadly fentanyl pills, Anxiety, U.S. Senator Tommy Tuberville of Alabama, best drug smugglers, drug traffickers  
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3002 clicks; posted to Main » and Food » on 02 Oct 2022 at 6:20 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



181 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-10-02 2:29:35 PM  
WTF am I doing wrong?
 
2022-10-02 2:33:23 PM  
OOGA BOOGA OOGA BOOGA!
 
2022-10-02 2:33:52 PM  
IIRC, the only death from something like this is a father who intentionally poisoned his son for the insurance money. He counted on this being a real thing to cover it up.
 
2022-10-02 2:34:49 PM  
If the warnings from U.S. Senator Tommy Tuberville of Alabama and a few other politicians are to be believed, drug traffickers are deliberately packaging deadly fentanyl pills disguised as candy to "drive addiction" among children and adults.

1) They're not
2) I thought fentanyl was supposed to be super deadly where being in a room where someone has used some would kill you, so to get candy to the addicting, but not fatal, dose must involve passing a pouch of fentanyl over the candy, like you're blessing it.
3) The idea doesn't make sense, anyway. Let's say you successfully got kids hooked on the drug you laced their candy with. How are they going to know what drug it is, or who to talk to to get more?
 
2022-10-02 2:38:40 PM  
That's why I just hand out slices of fresh apple pie.
 
2022-10-02 2:39:35 PM  
I remember the Halloween after the poisoned Tylenol debacle.  That sucked.  Most people didn't bother to give out candy because they figured nobody would be out.  Lowest haul ever.
 
2022-10-02 2:44:53 PM  
Yeah...sure, like dealers are gonna give away drugs.
It's that same old stupid 'panic' crap that's been around since the 60's.
Oh...dealers are gonna give LSD to your kids in the form of little stickers.
 
2022-10-02 2:56:05 PM  
Remember the old "Don't take apples because they hide razor blades in them" thing? Even as a kid that seemed unutterably stupid. My parents used to believe this shiat, too.
 
2022-10-02 3:03:47 PM  
Even as a kid I wondered who onn Earth would waste perfectly good drugs on Halloween candy

/It just didn't make sense
 
2022-10-02 3:09:05 PM  
Yeah...you're gonna waste 200-300 of primo sensimilla on pot brownies for the 'kids'.
Sure....but if you do let me know.
 
2022-10-02 3:10:51 PM  

optikeye: Yeah...you're gonna waste 200-300 of primo sensimilla on pot brownies for the 'kids'.
Sure....but if you do let me know.


Seriously... Trick or Treat
 
2022-10-02 3:29:01 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Even as a kid I wondered who onn Earth would waste perfectly good drugs on Halloween candy

/It just didn't make sense


It's very rare but it does happen.

https://www.oakbaynews.com/news/pot-edibles-handed-out-on-halloween/ (2017)

https://www.nsnews.com/highlights/two-charged-delta-residents-in-halloween-edibles-investigation-4699880 (2020)
 
2022-10-02 3:33:38 PM  

Ivo Shandor: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Even as a kid I wondered who onn Earth would waste perfectly good drugs on Halloween candy

/It just didn't make sense

It's very rare but it does happen.

https://www.oakbaynews.com/news/pot-edibles-handed-out-on-halloween/ (2017)

https://www.nsnews.com/highlights/two-charged-delta-residents-in-halloween-edibles-investigation-4699880 (2020)


Yeah, it's rare. So what? Some people fark goats, some priests don't diddle little boys. It's rare but it does happen.
 
2022-10-02 3:36:36 PM  

Ivo Shandor: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Even as a kid I wondered who onn Earth would waste perfectly good drugs on Halloween candy

/It just didn't make sense

It's very rare but it does happen.

https://www.oakbaynews.com/news/pot-edibles-handed-out-on-halloween/ (2017)

https://www.nsnews.com/highlights/two-charged-delta-residents-in-halloween-edibles-investigation-4699880 (2020)


Who died from that?
 
2022-10-02 3:41:26 PM  

Combustion: Ivo Shandor: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Even as a kid I wondered who onn Earth would waste perfectly good drugs on Halloween candy

/It just didn't make sense

It's very rare but it does happen.

https://www.oakbaynews.com/news/pot-edibles-handed-out-on-halloween/ (2017)

https://www.nsnews.com/highlights/two-charged-delta-residents-in-halloween-edibles-investigation-4699880 (2020)

Who died from that?


Nobody that I know of. I was responding to a comment about handing out drugs, not poison. I haven't heard of the latter happening around here.
 
2022-10-02 3:51:09 PM  
Just more nonsense they can blame democrats for, because their voter base are all morons.
 
2022-10-02 3:51:53 PM  
The first time I remember hearing a variation of this was when I was five years old. That was 1971.
 
2022-10-02 4:43:57 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 4:49:44 PM  
Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.
 
2022-10-02 4:51:30 PM  

vudukungfu: Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 5:11:10 PM  

vudukungfu: Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.


I never undrestood the point of wax lips
 
2022-10-02 5:13:42 PM  

leviosaurus: vudukungfu: Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.

I never undrestood the point of wax lips


frinkiac.comView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 5:14:12 PM  
No, it's true! My friend was driving to warn people about it when he saw a car driving with its lights off, so he flashed his lights and they followed him and murdered him as part of a gang initiation, and tragically it was the same day his brother was robbed on vacation and all they left behind was the toothbrushes and a camera, but when they got the film developed the thieves had the toothbrushes shoved up their asses, and then their house burned down and everything was destroyed except an unscathed copy of Snooki's autobiography.
 
2022-10-02 5:14:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 5:15:13 PM  

leviosaurus: vudukungfu: Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.

I never undrestood the point of wax lips


Fark user imageView Full Size


Or these.
 
2022-10-02 5:26:28 PM  
Nobody around here pays attention to those rumors. We have a guy on the corner who already has a graveyard and a 10 foot skeleton on his lawn, Other people have giant spiders hanging on their house, human limbs (plastic) hanging from chains from the trees, sculls and scary images projected on their house and skeletons swinging on the porch. I could go on.....

We had over 100 kids come to our door last year and expect as many this year.

Halloween is a real great time for kids in our neighborhood.

Screw the people who try to take the fun out of it for the kids.
 
2022-10-02 5:28:48 PM  

Jake Havechek: leviosaurus: vudukungfu: Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.

I never undrestood the point of wax lips

[Fark user image 425x425]

Or these.


Funny, I just mentioned wax lips to my wife. She said "Oh, I used to love those! And the wax bottles!" I told her "No, they're both disgusting". If she cared about my opinion I might be in trouble.
 
2022-10-02 6:11:30 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 6:21:09 PM  
In 1983, I had to throw out all of my Halloween candy. Every piece. Because Eric's dumbass mentally ill AW newly divorced mom freaked out about the wrapper on one of his pieces being open a bit. Allegedly. So she called all the other moms and got them all worked up over it. And we had been all over town that year. The best haul of my career.

I'm still pissed.

F*ck you, Eric's mom. F*ck. You.
 
2022-10-02 6:23:55 PM  
No one is going to give you opioids for free. Not even on Halloween.
 
2022-10-02 6:25:04 PM  
Drugs are expensive. Your child isn't that cool.
 
2022-10-02 6:25:49 PM  

Combustion: Ivo Shandor: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Even as a kid I wondered who onn Earth would waste perfectly good drugs on Halloween candy

/It just didn't make sense

It's very rare but it does happen.

https://www.oakbaynews.com/news/pot-edibles-handed-out-on-halloween/ (2017)

https://www.nsnews.com/highlights/two-charged-delta-residents-in-halloween-edibles-investigation-4699880 (2020)

Who died from that?


Becky

/couldn't help myself
 
2022-10-02 6:26:13 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 6:27:14 PM  
FFS. I remember the whole don't-eat-apples-because-people-put-razor-blades-in-them nonsense during the '80s. Here's the thing: No one ever gave out apples anyway because, really, who the fark would do that in the first place?
 
2022-10-02 6:28:50 PM  
Have to get them addicted young when they have all that disposable income from working in the mines.
 
2022-10-02 6:29:10 PM  

Bootleg: If the warnings from U.S. Senator Tommy Tuberville of Alabama and a few other politicians are to be believed, drug traffickers are deliberately packaging deadly fentanyl pills disguised as candy to "drive addiction" among children and adults.

1) They're not
2) I thought fentanyl was supposed to be super deadly where being in a room where someone has used some would kill you, so to get candy to the addicting, but not fatal, dose must involve passing a pouch of fentanyl over the candy, like you're blessing it.
3) The idea doesn't make sense, anyway. Let's say you successfully got kids hooked on the drug you laced their candy with. How are they going to know what drug it is, or who to talk to to get more?


Meanwhile, you know what is addictive and found in most candy? Sugar.
 
2022-10-02 6:30:29 PM  

Ivo Shandor: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Even as a kid I wondered who onn Earth would waste perfectly good drugs on Halloween candy

/It just didn't make sense

It's very rare but it does happen.

https://www.oakbaynews.com/news/pot-edibles-handed-out-on-halloween/ (2017)

https://www.nsnews.com/highlights/two-charged-delta-residents-in-halloween-edibles-investigation-4699880 (2020)


One kid in the first incident, two in the second, both possibly inadvertent. There is still no reported evidence of drugs being handed out en masse, intentionally or otherwise.
 
2022-10-02 6:30:37 PM  

Jake Havechek: leviosaurus: vudukungfu: Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.

I never undrestood the point of wax lips

[Fark user image 425x425]

Or these.


The wax is nice to chew on, the juice inside was tasty. I don't think I'd ever buy them for myself, but I was never too disappointed to get some for free.
 
2022-10-02 6:30:44 PM  
Law Enforcement aligned entities are the most likely suspects for such a distribution scheme.  Organized crime derives no benefit from such behavior.  If it doesn't make dollars, it doesn't make sense.  I can understand an improperly apportioned counterfeit pill, but not a tainted tootsie roll.
 
2022-10-02 6:30:58 PM  
You tell your kids you have to check their candy so they can steal it. Then those kids grow up and tell their kids they have to check their candy and that's how religion is born.
 
2022-10-02 6:32:54 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: FFS. I remember the whole don't-eat-apples-because-people-put-razor-blades-in-them nonsense during the '80s. Here's the thing: No one ever gave out apples anyway because, really, who the fark would do that in the first place?


And did they grow the apples around the razor blades somehow, getting them in there without splitting the apple skin? Because damn, talk about the long con.
 
2022-10-02 6:33:05 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: FFS. I remember the whole don't-eat-apples-because-people-put-razor-blades-in-them nonsense during the '80s. Here's the thing: No one ever gave out apples anyway because, really, who the fark would do that in the first place?


Sure they did.  People used to give fruit and popcorn on Halloween before Big Candy got ahold of the holiday.
 
2022-10-02 6:33:54 PM  
The only time I experienced any non candy when taking kids out for trick or treat was the bucket o' beer chilling in ice one house had specifically to hand out to parents.

That house was awesome.
 
2022-10-02 6:34:02 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: FFS. I remember the whole don't-eat-apples-because-people-put-razor-blades-in-them nonsense during the '80s. Here's the thing: No one ever gave out apples anyway because, really, who the fark would do that in the first place?


80's kid here.
Yes I did get apples once in a while.
No I did not need to be told not to eat them when I had a bag full of candy as an alternative.
 
2022-10-02 6:35:27 PM  

leviosaurus: vudukungfu: Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.

I never undrestood the point of wax lips


I have Wax Lips that came out of a Mold-A-Rama machine at a Candy Convention:
(the other side says "Not Edible")

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 6:35:36 PM  

Jake Havechek: leviosaurus: vudukungfu: Our house gave out wax teeth and wax lips.
I played Halloween LPs out of my bedroom window over the front porch.
The house was a few hundred years old, so we were spooky. Plus, you could hide in the trees on the front walk.

I never undrestood the point of wax lips

[Fark user image image 425x425]

Or these.


static.tvtropes.orgView Full Size
 
2022-10-02 6:35:45 PM  

Mugato: WTF am I doing wrong?


You're  supposed to use the doublesided razors.
 
2022-10-02 6:36:36 PM  
Sorry, subby, that count should read: 1.

That was Timothy O'Bryan, who was given poisoned pixie sticks by his own dad.

Now, it's important to note that the number of people who died from strangers giving them deliberately tainted candy remains 0.

The number of people who have died from candy that weren't specifically murdered by their own parents also remains 0.

How many may have gotten E. coli or salmonella from poor hygeine at the factory, or who got diabetes or something like that? idk, I didn't look that up.

But subby's formulation of the headline is technically incorrect.
 
2022-10-02 6:38:34 PM  
I never did get that LSD I was promised in the 80s.
 
2022-10-02 6:39:30 PM  
Every Halloween
Keep your eyes out for
:beep beep:
Tainted Dove
bars
 
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