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(wtnh.com)   You can't convict me, I was just doing what Trump asked me to do   (wtnh.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, White House, Lawyer, Stewart Rhodes, President of the United States, United States Capitol, Criminal law, Washington, D.C., founder of the Oath Keepers  
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4381 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Oct 2022 at 4:50 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



93 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-10-01 11:26:40 AM  
That's right up there with "I was hiding in the bushes outside Ana de Armas' house with duct tape and chloroform because I was waiting for her to reply to my DM about a romantic evening together"
 
2022-10-01 11:34:08 AM  
Did any smart people participate in the insurrection?
 
2022-10-01 11:38:05 AM  
The bank manager said he was going to open the vault if we walked in with masks and guns.  Who knew he was going to lie to us?
 
2022-10-01 11:39:58 AM  
Rhodes' lawyers have argued Trump could have called up a militia in response to "what he perceived as a conspiracy to deprive a class of persons in several states of their voting rights."

There is no F*CK YOU big enough for this, you gerrymandering, voter suppressing, pieces of shiat.
 
2022-10-01 11:42:24 AM  
By the sounds of the jury selection, this defense is gonna go over like a wet fart.
 
2022-10-01 11:42:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-01 11:47:25 AM  
I mean, this would be utter bullshiat even if he had been issued orders by Trump. But in this case he's saying he was anticipating orders. So the orders never actually came.

Of course we live in a world where Dobald Trump can declassified documents by just thinking about it. So maybe telepathy changes the game somewhat.
 
2022-10-01 11:51:56 AM  
"Lawyers for Stewart Rhodes, founder of the extremist group, are poised to argue that jurors cannot find him guilty of seditious conspiracy because all the actions he took before the siege on Jan. 6, 2021, were in preparation for orders he anticipated from the then-president"

Wow, it's almost like the then-president is also guilty of seditious conspiracy but abandoned you when the plan failed.

Huh.
 
2022-10-01 12:01:45 PM  
Just following orders?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-01 12:08:24 PM  
Known as the Nazi defense.
 
2022-10-01 12:57:04 PM  
If your plan requires you to win to get away with it - you shouldn't biatch and moan when you lose.
 
2022-10-01 1:07:24 PM  

aaronx: Did any smart people participate in the insurrection?


Not if they were smart!
 
2022-10-01 2:56:11 PM  
Important to remember Stewart Rhodes actual first name is "Elmer".

Elmer and The Oafs - Tour America 2022!!
 
2022-10-01 3:20:16 PM  

aaronx: Did any smart people participate in the insurrection?


Yes, behind the scenes. The DOJ might eventually get around to investigating a few of them in a decade or so, after they finish processing all of the cannon fodder.
 
2022-10-01 3:44:00 PM  
Alright. Convict him of being an idiot

/Slam dunk
 
2022-10-01 4:50:24 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-01 4:55:54 PM  
Oaf Creeper, translated: I didn't commit any crimes because the crimes I committed wouldn't be crimes if I'd succeeded.
 
2022-10-01 4:57:22 PM  
MICHELLE.OBUMA MADE ME KILL mEAT EATRES!!!!
 
2022-10-01 4:57:48 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I mean, this would be utter bullshiat even if he had been issued orders by Trump. But in this case he's saying he was anticipating orders. So the orders never actually came.

Of course we live in a world where Dobald Trump can declassified documents by just thinking about it. So maybe telepathy changes the game somewhat.


No, non, no! Trump used the same telepathic technique to issue orders that he used to declassify documents. Shame it doesn't leave any records
 
2022-10-01 4:59:47 PM  
If "you can't convict me, all I did was actively stage a coup to overthrow the legitimate elected government through terrorist acts because I figured TFG would be totes onboard with it!"-somehow makes his legal problems go away, then this country is farked beyond saving.
 
2022-10-01 5:00:42 PM  

Cheron: Pocket Ninja: I mean, this would be utter bullshiat even if he had been issued orders by Trump. But in this case he's saying he was anticipating orders. So the orders never actually came.

Of course we live in a world where Dobald Trump can declassified documents by just thinking about it. So maybe telepathy changes the game somewhat.

No, non, no! Trump used the same telepathic technique to issue orders that he used to declassify documents. Shame it doesn't leave any records


Check the white house plumbing.
 
2022-10-01 5:00:44 PM  
I'm going to start using this.

Why yes I did charge the hookers and blow to the corporate card, but it was only in anticipation that the ceo would need them.
 
2022-10-01 5:02:46 PM  
If the charge is seditious conspiracy, sounds to me like he just confessed.
 
2022-10-01 5:03:09 PM  

aaronx: Did any smart people participate in the insurrection?


Yeah, all the Antifa. Somehow they led the insurrection, then escaped without getting charged because no one ever saw them or took any video of them.
 
2022-10-01 5:04:03 PM  

gopher321: Important to remember Stewart Rhodes actual first name is "Elmer".

Elmer and The Oafs - Tour America 2022!!


Yeah, that name should stick.
 
2022-10-01 5:07:20 PM  
"This is an incredibly complicated defense of theory"

No it isn't.
 
2022-10-01 5:07:24 PM  
FTFA: ...jurors cannot find him guilty of seditious conspiracy because all the actions he took before the siege on Jan. 6, 2021, were in preparation for orders he anticipated from the then-president - orders that never came.

I believe I may have found a tiny flaw in their defense.
 
2022-10-01 5:08:29 PM  
Get bent, loser.
 
2022-10-01 5:08:54 PM  
I love the fact that these idiots have basically confessed based on a defense that will never hold up.
 
2022-10-01 5:09:00 PM  
so his defense is "yup, i did it, im guilty".....  ?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-01 5:11:22 PM  
Can't find you guilty of sedition.  How about we find you guilty of being stupid?  Even more than American grade stupid. Stoopid level stupid. Sticking your finger in the light socket twice stupid.  Extended warranty on a USB cable stupid.
 
2022-10-01 5:11:33 PM  
SURE I DID IT, BUT BECAUSE THAT GUY TOLD ME TO!

NO, I'M NOT IN HIS EMPLOY OR ASSOCIATED WITH HIM IN ANY OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT HE TOLD ME WHAT TO DO!
 
2022-10-01 5:11:42 PM  
• the idea that a modern POTUS would revert to a private militia is laughable
• this idiot said publically on several occasions he wanted to do it on Trump's behalf, but that he was going to do without him, too.
• Just because they all went to Olive Garden after they failed, doesn't mean they didn't try.
• They're trying to say that the Insurrection was a perfect occasion to act and they didn't? Any Oaf Keeper there was just freelancing. Who do they they're kidding -- they were the Insurrection.
 
2022-10-01 5:12:08 PM  
In past coup attempts, people expected to either succeed or not bother thinking about the or, because they wouldn't be thinking much longer if it came to it.

These assholes got off physically fine (minus some tramplings and one shot) and never thought to begin with.
 
2022-10-01 5:13:24 PM  
An interesting defense, but...

Please explain to me where, in law, it states that a terrorist militia has to follow the orders of the President in storming the capital?

Please explain to me where, in law, it states that the President can order civilians to commit crimes and they must obey?

No?

Well, then, you engaged in conspiracy to commit crimes.

And you are just another deniable idiot that TFG uses and disposes of in his attempt to maintain the spotlight on himself. While you're doing time, he might bring up your name at his rallies, but this won't be out of any genuine effort to win your release but because it might bring him a cheer from the crowd.

And that's it.
 
2022-10-01 5:13:41 PM  
This asshole went to Yale Law School. The most selective law school in the country, according to the data.

How in fark did this chud get into Yale? Seriously.
 
2022-10-01 5:13:50 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I mean, this would be utter bullshiat even if he had been issued orders by Trump. But in this case he's saying he was anticipating orders. So the orders never actually came.

Of course we live in a world where Dobald Trump can declassified documents by just thinking about it. So maybe telepathy changes the game somewhat.


Oh he got orders alright. Trump gave his orders to his capo Roger Stone. Stone then coyly pointed brown shirts in the right direction.
 
2022-10-01 5:14:05 PM  
If TFG told you to jump off a cliff, would you?
"Yes"
Telegram from Donald J. Trump!  Telegram!  Sir, STOP.  Jump STOP.
"Sounds like him.  Off I go."
 
2022-10-01 5:14:19 PM  

davynelson: SURE I DID IT, BUT BECAUSE THAT GUY TOLD ME TO!

NO, I'M NOT IN HIS EMPLOY OR ASSOCIATED WITH HIM IN ANY OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT HE TOLD ME WHAT TO DO!


Its a fantasy -- and he wants to tell his "story" into the public record, for the historical record.

He'll risk going to prison for his twisted version of what J6 was about.
 
2022-10-01 5:14:50 PM  

RasIanI: davynelson: SURE I DID IT, BUT BECAUSE THAT GUY TOLD ME TO!

NO, I'M NOT IN HIS EMPLOY OR ASSOCIATED WITH HIM IN ANY OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT HE TOLD ME WHAT TO DO!

Its a fantasy -- and he wants to tell his "story" into the public record, for the historical record.

He'll risk going to prison for his twisted version of what J6 was about.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-10-01 5:17:10 PM  

KerryKlu: "This is an incredibly complicated defense of theory"

No it isn't.


To be fair, the mental gymnastics required to convince yourself it would absolve him from any consequences are absolutely insane.
 
2022-10-01 5:17:33 PM  
Perhaps former president Mangolini will show up in court and give verification to the Oath Keepers's defense strategy.

O_o

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
2022-10-01 5:18:44 PM  
Headline: "...doing what Trump asked me to do"

Article: "Trump didn't do that"

That was easy
 
2022-10-01 5:18:54 PM  

aaronx: Did any smart people participate in the insurrection?


No, but a lot of S-M-R-T people did.
 
2022-10-01 5:21:37 PM  
Judgement at Nuremberg meets Idiocracy
 
2022-10-01 5:24:42 PM  
You are more than welcome to provide direct evidence Trump and his team were preparing you for the insurrection.
 
2022-10-01 5:31:32 PM  
Lets just presume for a moment that everything the dumbass in TFA said is true.   Trump was going to use the insurrection act to call up a militia to stop the steal.

That still ain't *you* chucklehead.  You are no member of a well regulated militia.  You're a fat cosplaying clown.  State governor out front shoulda told ya'.
 
2022-10-01 5:31:33 PM  

danvon: This asshole went to Yale Law School. The most selective law school in the country, according to the data.

How in fark did this chud get into Yale? Seriously.


And according to some people that means he couldn't possibly be stupid, after all hE wEnT tO An iVy LeAgUe sChOoL.
 
2022-10-01 5:32:07 PM  

Excelsior: If "you can't convict me, all I did was actively stage a coup to overthrow the legitimate elected government through terrorist acts because I figured TFG would be totes onboard with it!"-somehow makes his legal problems go away, then this country is farked beyond saving.


Whelp, when congressmen are paying high school girls for sex with venmo and getting a walk, anything is possible.
 
2022-10-01 5:33:23 PM  

davynelson: SURE I DID IT, BUT BECAUSE THAT GUY TOLD ME TO!

NO, I'M NOT IN HIS EMPLOY OR ASSOCIATED WITH HIM IN ANY OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT HE TOLD ME WHAT TO DO!


I mean maaaaaybe if he was a govt employee...but he's just some hut-hut-hut wannabe soldier.
 
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