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    More: Cool, Hellraiser, Hellraiser franchise, reboot sticks, Jamie Clayton, David Bruckner, Cenobite, Clive Barker, Graham Slipper  
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2053 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Sep 2022 at 6:50 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-09-30 6:56:18 PM  
Cenobite typewriter has such exquisite typos to show you.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 7:02:41 PM  
Remember: It's not hands that summon them, but intent.
 
2022-09-30 7:08:30 PM  
I'd like to see the original Hellraiser book adapted into a movie without changes. In the book, there's no daughter. The lead is a woman who's infatuated with what's-his-face (Andrew Robinson in the movie.) I'm guessing they changed it in the movie to appeal to teenagers, but it's not quite the same and she just ends up being a screaming twit like most teenagers in horror movies.
 
2022-09-30 7:12:20 PM  
Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.
 
2022-09-30 7:13:42 PM  

gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.


Fark 'em. Let them throw their impotent tantrums.
 
2022-09-30 7:19:20 PM  

gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.


Their biatching and moaning will be legendary, even in hell.
 
2022-09-30 7:19:27 PM  

gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.


They have been ever since her casting was announced, but it also makes it rather easy to just entirely out them as not being actual Hellraiser fans, so they get laughed at, a lot.
 
2022-09-30 7:21:22 PM  
I also think the incels were kinda tricked into being quieter than usual by the fact that if they were going to complain about Pinhead being gender swapped then they'd have to also admit that trans women are women.
 
2022-09-30 7:25:51 PM  

gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.


Female?
 
2022-09-30 7:27:26 PM  

Fart And Smunny: I also think the incels were kinda tricked into being quieter than usual by the fact that if they were going to complain about Pinhead being gender swapped then they'd have to also admit that trans women are women.


Also that it truer to the actual lore. These dudes are going to fap in incel anger
 
2022-09-30 7:30:20 PM  
I don't care how good this is, all that matters is stiggin it to the Incels.
 
2022-09-30 7:32:16 PM  
Hellraiser: Hellseeker was the closest thing we'll ever get to an actual Max Payne film.  Call it "Hellraiser in name", but between the noir elements and Dean farkING Winter, it was the most attention I'd paid to a Hellraiser film since my girlfriend dragged me to see Bloodline in highschool.
 
2022-09-30 7:37:12 PM  

IdentInvalid: Hellraiser: Hellseeker was the closest thing we'll ever get to an actual Max Payne film.  Call it "Hellraiser in name", but between the noir elements and Dean farkING Winter, it was the most attention I'd paid to a Hellraiser film since my girlfriend dragged me to see Bloodline in highschool.


It's kinda like how Hellworld was barely even in a hellraiser movie, but at least it gave us Lance Henrickson vs Pinhead for like twelve seconds.
 
2022-09-30 7:37:53 PM  

gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.


Female Mike Myers?

Brilliant.
 
2022-09-30 7:40:21 PM  

NathanAllen: gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.

Female Mike Myers?

Brilliant.


Pretty sure we've technically had that already via Curse of Michael Myers.
 
2022-09-30 7:44:52 PM  

IdentInvalid: Hellraiser: Hellseeker was the closest thing we'll ever get to an actual Max Payne film.  Call it "Hellraiser in name", but between the noir elements and Dean farkING Winter, it was the most attention I'd paid to a Hellraiser film since my girlfriend dragged me to see Bloodline in highschool.


Read the wiki about the plot and it seemed awesome. But I bet the follow-through (based on reviews) was not great.
 
2022-09-30 8:00:22 PM  
Curious to see this. Already started my Halloween marathoning and was thinking the other night how the Hellraiser franchise seems to be my limit in horror. It seems to straddle a line between "normal" horror and the torture-porn stuff that has no appeal to me. I guess because the torture-porn stuff in the series isn't exactly gratuitous in the same way as when it's being done by random hillbilly psychopath.
 
2022-09-30 8:04:35 PM  
"Best since the original."

Well that's a low bar.
 
2022-09-30 8:11:51 PM  

thornhill: "Best since the original."

Well that's a low bar.


I feel like the second one is pretty well-loved, and surpassing that level is a high bar for sequels in general.

Though I am not really thinking of this as a sequel inasmuch as a full-on reboot, I admit.
 
2022-09-30 8:14:40 PM  

Fart And Smunny: thornhill: "Best since the original."

Well that's a low bar.

I feel like the second one is pretty well-loved, and surpassing that level is a high bar for sequels in general.

Though I am not really thinking of this as a sequel inasmuch as a full-on reboot, I admit.


Yeah, it's not bad, can't really criticize it. But after that, JFC, some of them are unwatchable.
 
2022-09-30 8:29:20 PM  

thornhill: Fart And Smunny: thornhill: "Best since the original."

Well that's a low bar.

I feel like the second one is pretty well-loved, and surpassing that level is a high bar for sequels in general.

Though I am not really thinking of this as a sequel inasmuch as a full-on reboot, I admit.

Yeah, it's not bad, can't really criticize it. But after that, JFC, some of them are unwatchable.


Yeah - I feel like at least 3/4 gave us some wonderfully weird setpieces, but after that they got a bit boring to me.

I still marathoned them all last week to prep for this release, so I guess they're good enough, though.
 
2022-09-30 8:30:29 PM  
Woiw. That was a lot of words for "no."
 
2022-09-30 8:37:06 PM  

peachpicker: Cenobite typewriter has such exquisite typos to show you.

[Fark user image image 422x750]


There is a typewriter in Hellraiser Judgement that does look kinda like that.
 
2022-09-30 8:39:49 PM  

Fart And Smunny: thornhill: Fart And Smunny: thornhill: "Best since the original."

Well that's a low bar.

I feel like the second one is pretty well-loved, and surpassing that level is a high bar for sequels in general.

Though I am not really thinking of this as a sequel inasmuch as a full-on reboot, I admit.

Yeah, it's not bad, can't really criticize it. But after that, JFC, some of them are unwatchable.

Yeah - I feel like at least 3/4 gave us some wonderfully weird setpieces, but after that they got a bit boring to me.

I still marathoned them all last week to prep for this release, so I guess they're good enough, though.


Judgement is pretty good.
 
2022-09-30 8:40:14 PM  

Wobambo: Curious to see this. Already started my Halloween marathoning and was thinking the other night how the Hellraiser franchise seems to be my limit in horror. It seems to straddle a line between "normal" horror and the torture-porn stuff that has no appeal to me. I guess because the torture-porn stuff in the series isn't exactly gratuitous in the same way as when it's being done by random hillbilly psychopath.


The first two movies are definitely categorized in my head as "damn-near nihilistic." It's still the only 80s franchise that, pardon the phrase, can get under my skin if I'm in the right mood.

A reboot is fine with me. The messaging is universal, and the actress playing Pinhead seems pretty comfortable in her Cenobite skin (or what's left of it). I can't wait.
 
2022-09-30 8:42:24 PM  

Lumbar Puncture: Fart And Smunny: thornhill: Fart And Smunny: thornhill: "Best since the original."

Well that's a low bar.

I feel like the second one is pretty well-loved, and surpassing that level is a high bar for sequels in general.

Though I am not really thinking of this as a sequel inasmuch as a full-on reboot, I admit.

Yeah, it's not bad, can't really criticize it. But after that, JFC, some of them are unwatchable.

Yeah - I feel like at least 3/4 gave us some wonderfully weird setpieces, but after that they got a bit boring to me.

I still marathoned them all last week to prep for this release, so I guess they're good enough, though.

Judgement is pretty good.


I enjoyed a lot of its images, but I -hated- its color palette.
 
2022-09-30 9:11:49 PM  
Is it wrong I want to bang the female pinhead?
 
2022-09-30 9:12:11 PM  

Fart And Smunny: Lumbar Puncture: Fart And Smunny: thornhill: Fart And Smunny: thornhill: "Best since the original."

Well that's a low bar.

I feel like the second one is pretty well-loved, and surpassing that level is a high bar for sequels in general.

Though I am not really thinking of this as a sequel inasmuch as a full-on reboot, I admit.

Yeah, it's not bad, can't really criticize it. But after that, JFC, some of them are unwatchable.

Yeah - I feel like at least 3/4 gave us some wonderfully weird setpieces, but after that they got a bit boring to me.

I still marathoned them all last week to prep for this release, so I guess they're good enough, though.

Judgement is pretty good.

I enjoyed a lot of its images, but I -hated- its color palette.


That's legit.

But you could tell they were making it on a budget smaller than an incels chance at getting laid.
 
2022-09-30 9:16:36 PM  
Ugh, I have begrudgingly watched all of them in the franchise. Suchlet downs after the first cpl of movies.
Hopefully it's decent.
 
2022-09-30 9:27:01 PM  

gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.


The original was written as androgynous and Barker wanted to cast a woman for the film.  But what does he know?
 
2022-09-30 10:08:50 PM  

Flappyhead: gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.

The original was written as androgynous and Barker wanted to cast a woman for the film.  But what does he know?


Really liked the actress for this one in Sense8.
 
2022-09-30 10:16:30 PM  

Flappyhead: gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.

The original was written as androgynous and Barker wanted to cast a woman for the film.  But what does he know?


Tilda swinton would have been great.
 
2022-09-30 10:27:49 PM  

Space Station Wagon: Flappyhead: gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.

The original was written as androgynous and Barker wanted to cast a woman for the film.  But what does he know?

Tilda swinton would have been great.


She already did the angelic version in Constantine.
 
2022-10-01 1:04:00 AM  

baron von doodle: Space Station Wagon: Flappyhead: gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.

The original was written as androgynous and Barker wanted to cast a woman for the film.  But what does he know?

Tilda swinton would have been great.

She already did the angelic version in Constantine.


Speaking of, can't wait for the Constantine sequel.
 
2022-10-01 2:40:50 AM  

AeAe: Is it wrong I want to bang the female pinhead?


I could judge you....

But I can't since I fapped to the werewolf sex scene in "The Howling" when I was in high school.
 
2022-10-01 6:19:43 AM  

Fart And Smunny: NathanAllen: gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.

Female Mike Myers?

Brilliant.

Pretty sure we've technically had that already via Curse of Michael Myers.


Male Mike Myers then.

At this point my only goal is to jack with incels.

Just to remind them that they may no longer have to go to the high school locker rooms where they were mocked but by being creeps they've turned the entire world into a locker roon.
 
2022-10-01 6:45:12 AM  

Fart And Smunny: I also think the incels were kinda tricked into being quieter than usual by the fact that if they were going to complain about Pinhead being gender swapped then they'd have to also admit that trans women are women.


Yeah I figured it would be the usual shiatstorm but as far as I've seen the internet has been incredibly quiet in their grumbling about this.

Guess they blew their wad on a mermaid.
 
2022-10-01 9:13:45 AM  

ZMugg: Remember: It's not hands that summon them, but intent.


Not true. In both the original story and movie, Kirsty opens the box by accident, and the only reason they don't take her is she tells them about Frank escaping.
 
2022-10-01 9:17:11 AM  

thornhill: "Best since the original."

Well that's a low bar.


It's not as good as the first two movies, but better than the rest of them.

\got to see it in the theater, the way it was meant to be seen.
 
2022-10-01 9:18:54 AM  

AeAe: Is it wrong I want to bang the female pinhead?


news.toyark.comView Full Size
 
2022-10-01 9:23:37 AM  

gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.


The original Pinhead was female (or rather, female-appearing).

"Do you understand?" the figure beside the first speaker demanded. Its voice, unlike that of its companion, was light and breathy-the voice of an excited girl. Every inch of its head had been tattooed with an intricate grid, and at every intersection of horizontal and vertical axes a jeweled pin driven through to the bone. Its tongue was similarly decorated. "Do you even know who we are?" it asked. "Yes." Frank said at last. "I know."
 
2022-10-01 9:28:32 AM  

The_Sponge: AeAe: Is it wrong I want to bang the female pinhead?

I could judge you....

But I can't since I fapped to the werewolf sex scene in "The Howling" when I was in high


well, I have a new farkie for you
 
2022-10-01 9:31:07 AM  

Flappyhead: gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.

The original was written as androgynous and Barker wanted to cast a woman for the film.  But what does he know?


In the story Pinhead isn't even the main Cenobite.
 
2022-10-01 9:32:59 AM  
Incidentally, if you haven't read "The Hellbound Heart", it's available for free if you have Amazon Prime. Only takes an hour or two to read.
 
2022-10-01 9:42:06 AM  

Shakes999: Fart And Smunny: I also think the incels were kinda tricked into being quieter than usual by the fact that if they were going to complain about Pinhead being gender swapped then they'd have to also admit that trans women are women.

Yeah I figured it would be the usual shiatstorm but as far as I've seen the internet has been incredibly quiet in their grumbling about this.

Guess they blew their wad on a mermaid.


You must be so disappointed.
 
2022-10-01 9:54:08 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: AeAe: Is it wrong I want to bang the female pinhead?

[news.toyark.com image 667x1000]


whaaaa
   t?
 
2022-10-01 10:31:55 AM  

WhippingBoi: Shakes999: Fart And Smunny: I also think the incels were kinda tricked into being quieter than usual by the fact that if they were going to complain about Pinhead being gender swapped then they'd have to also admit that trans women are women.

Yeah I figured it would be the usual shiatstorm but as far as I've seen the internet has been incredibly quiet in their grumbling about this.

Guess they blew their wad on a mermaid.

You must be so disappointed.


This is a dumb comment and you should feel dumb for posting it.
 
2022-10-01 2:36:26 PM  
I want to get one of those puzzle boxes... but a real one. I would leave it on my coffee table for guests to play with
 
2022-10-01 5:01:32 PM  

Shakes999: Fart And Smunny: I also think the incels were kinda tricked into being quieter than usual by the fact that if they were going to complain about Pinhead being gender swapped then they'd have to also admit that trans women are women.

Yeah I figured it would be the usual shiatstorm but as far as I've seen the internet has been incredibly quiet in their grumbling about this.

Guess they blew their wad on a mermaid.


tbf blowing their wad on a mermaid is probably on a lot of peoples' bucket lists.
 
2022-10-01 5:17:08 PM  

baron von doodle: Space Station Wagon: Flappyhead: gunga galunga: Female Pinhead?

Aw, geez. The incels are gonna be biatching about this through Halloween.

The original was written as androgynous and Barker wanted to cast a woman for the film.  But what does he know?

Tilda swinton would have been great.

She already did the angelic version in Constantine.


I'm aware.
The world needs more tilda swinton I'm everything.
 
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