Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Zillow)   Use the 3D tour to see if you can find a Balrog   (zillow.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Cave, Glenwood Canyon, Stalactite, Stalagmite, Cave of the Chimes, Colorado River, Glenwood Springs, Limestone  
•       •       •

3713 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Sep 2022 at 6:15 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-30 5:34:36 PM  
Cool. The bedrooms lack privacy and radon might be an issue.
 
2022-09-30 5:52:36 PM  

EvilEgg: Cool. The bedrooms lack privacy and radon might be an issue.


Great views, though, and the cave is cool. My question is about whether or not the latch hook rugs stay with the house. If not, my offer goes down.
 
2022-09-30 6:00:49 PM  
This is easily the most badass and interesting zillow link we've had here. 
I'm really curious on the previous owners, what their story is. 
If not rock shop owners, then what?
If I had the means this would make an amazing apocalypse ready dwelling.
 
2022-09-30 6:19:03 PM  
Balrogs aren't real, because for them to be real, God would have to have made them and God couldn't make them because

D.R.I. - God Is Broke
Youtube E5X2kVKRA6c


he didn't have the cash.
 
2022-09-30 6:19:32 PM  
Probably hotter than shiat during the summer and colder than fark in the winter.
 
2022-09-30 6:22:18 PM  

whidbey: Probably hotter than shiat during the summer and colder than fark in the winter.


Caves tend to be temp stable...
 
2022-09-30 6:23:52 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: This is easily the most badass and interesting zillow link we've had here.



Are you forgetting the one with the S&M dungeon sex room?
 
2022-09-30 6:24:55 PM  
My Father in law (now long dead) was a Geophysicist, and he would have loved this place.
Me - not so much
 
2022-09-30 6:26:27 PM  
That's sweet. If I had oligarch money to piss away I'd go live like Gimli son of Gloin.

And since in this scenario I have oligarch money, I'd renovate the little house area, and by fark clean up/upgrade the cave system so there isn't trash and wires everywhere. Also a couple of cats and a JRT or something to keep away the critters.
 
2022-09-30 6:26:30 PM  
I think it was behind the fridge!

But I could not pass.
 
2022-09-30 6:28:06 PM  
Didn't find the Balrog but I did spot this guy:
i.ytimg.comView Full Size

"Rocks are hard"
 
2022-09-30 6:32:43 PM  
The dude from Street Fighter?  Not sure what else a Balrog is.

Fark user image
 
2022-09-30 6:33:13 PM  
You shall not refinance!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 6:36:25 PM  
Gonna need a ton of these-

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 6:36:44 PM  
Hard to believe any of the electrical and plumbing is legal, and that this dwelling ever received a certificate of occupancy.

I also cannot see any bank financing a mortgage for this cave. And definitely don't think any insurance company would give you a policy.

Other than that, it looks like it has great bones!
 
2022-09-30 6:37:33 PM  
Balrogs are a lot of flame and rage, but you sing 'em a little song and they go right to sleep.
 
2022-09-30 6:47:49 PM  
I'd want a certified written statement with video proof that all the cave bats have been removed and all secondary entrances have been sealed up. Otherwise you're just going to end up with vampires in 30 years.
 
2022-09-30 6:49:12 PM  

EvilEgg: Cool. The bedrooms lack privacy and radon might be an issue.


That's what an air freshener is for
 
Al!
2022-09-30 6:51:44 PM  
I didn't find a balrog, but Balin's ghost told me Celeborn would throw in boats, cloaks, and lembas if I made the purchase today.
 
2022-09-30 6:55:43 PM  
I came for the trolling in this thread.
 
2022-09-30 7:04:23 PM  
No warranty that you can live there without dying?

"Habitability."
 
2022-09-30 7:04:59 PM  

Creoena: The dude from Street Fighter?  Not sure what else a Balrog is.

[Fark user image 90x157]


He's M. Bison, and I don't care about decades of avoiding lawsuits and calling him "Boxer" in competition circles.
 
2022-09-30 7:06:26 PM  
Exactly HOW do you access the place? Rapel down from the top or climb up from the bottom? Picture #3 doesn't shed any light as to how you get to it. It's interesting to be sure, but I can't see this as being anything other than a gimmicky Air B&B rental strictly for the 'out there' factor.
 
2022-09-30 7:08:22 PM  
I got lost in your house, man.
 
2022-09-30 7:08:40 PM  
That was the strangest 3D tour I've ever seen.  First, you can tell that almost everything in there is low quality and water damaged. Then you stumble into the cave system.  That must have been fun to photograph.

Interesting location but it needs to be gutted (saving the plastic chairs of course.)
 
2022-09-30 7:14:47 PM  

OK So Amuse Me: Exactly HOW do you access the place? Rapel down from the top or climb up from the bottom? Picture #3 doesn't shed any light as to how you get to it. It's interesting to be sure, but I can't see this as being anything other than a gimmicky Air B&B rental strictly for the 'out there' factor.


I was wondering that too. The 3D tour does sort of show that there are stairs that seem to lead up and away from that patio area, but it's not clear that this is the way out. It's also not clear just how many stairs it takes to reach a road or whatever.
 
2022-09-30 7:23:18 PM  
Bedroom with bookcase?  +4 Good Taste points.
 
2022-09-30 7:28:16 PM  
mystjourney.comView Full Size


The 3-D tour
 
2022-09-30 7:34:40 PM  

wxboy: OK So Amuse Me: Exactly HOW do you access the place? Rapel down from the top or climb up from the bottom? Picture #3 doesn't shed any light as to how you get to it. It's interesting to be sure, but I can't see this as being anything other than a gimmicky Air B&B rental strictly for the 'out there' factor.

I was wondering that too. The 3D tour does sort of show that there are stairs that seem to lead up and away from that patio area, but it's not clear that this is the way out. It's also not clear just how many stairs it takes to reach a road or whatever.


Looks like there is a trail that winds down the side of the hill:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 7:45:19 PM  
Room for expansion, just dynamite more rooms.
 
2022-09-30 8:03:43 PM  
Y'know, if your man cave is an actual cave you might just be a cave man...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 8:18:49 PM  
Unfortunately you got Lauren Boebert in Mordor positioned slightly to the west, ready to invade.
 
2022-09-30 8:36:30 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 8:40:10 PM  

Kyle Butler: Markoff_Cheney: This is easily the most badass and interesting zillow link we've had here.


Are you forgetting the one with the S&M dungeon sex room?


That's where the dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness.
 
2022-09-30 8:40:18 PM  

EvilEgg: Cool. The bedrooms lack privacy and radon might be an issue.


Wrong kind of rock.
 
2022-09-30 8:41:55 PM  
It's unique and not the worst thing ever (maybe it is from a practical standpoint), but first time I'm there alone at night and hear ANY sort of noise coming from those caves I'm packing my stuff and heading for a hotel I'm sure.
 
2022-09-30 8:45:24 PM  
I've got a lot of questions.  You could afford to build your lair in the cave, but you couldn't afford to get the ceilings/walls in the bedrooms built to put... i don't know, some form of materials together that doesnt have huge gaps? Either you have a ceiling, or you don't.

And the walls.  When i did the 3d tour, the walls are atrocious.

The idea of living in a modified cave system like this and the setting is definitely gorgeous.  but I don't understand why you half-assed so much of the interior work.  for north of 2 million, who is going to get into this?  would have to be someone with with 20 million in the bank, because you're going to need another million to make it not look like shiat on the inside.

On the plus side, you never have to worry about buying a new roof, or new siding, or gutters.  I guess it's not all bad.
 
2022-09-30 9:03:44 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 9:05:44 PM  
The Zillow listing doesn't seem to note it, but the listing is for 25 acres of land, some of which is touted as buildable. A developer could probably get away with subdividing it and turning a nice profit.

On the other hand, the view from the patio is of a valley with I-70 in it. Nearby on the mountaintop is a small amusement park with at least one roller coaster. I wonder what the noise would be like living there.
 
2022-09-30 9:18:28 PM  

Mock26: wxboy: OK So Amuse Me: Exactly HOW do you access the place? Rapel down from the top or climb up from the bottom? Picture #3 doesn't shed any light as to how you get to it. It's interesting to be sure, but I can't see this as being anything other than a gimmicky Air B&B rental strictly for the 'out there' factor.

I was wondering that too. The 3D tour does sort of show that there are stairs that seem to lead up and away from that patio area, but it's not clear that this is the way out. It's also not clear just how many stairs it takes to reach a road or whatever.

Looks like there is a trail that winds down the side of the hill:

[Fark user image image 507x428]


I imagine I get drunk as fark way to often to not pitch myself off the cliff or get legionnaires disease from... living there.
 
2022-09-30 9:46:22 PM  

Mcavity: whidbey: Probably hotter than shiat during the summer and colder than fark in the winter.

Caves tend to be temp stable...


I can't believe nobody else mentioned that your username checks out.
 
2022-09-30 9:58:21 PM  
I was more concerned about Grues when it took me entirely too long to figure out how to get out of the first room.
 
2022-10-01 1:33:48 AM  

thornhill: Hard to believe any of the electrical and plumbing is legal, and that this dwelling ever received a certificate of occupancy.

I also cannot see any bank financing a mortgage for this cave. And definitely don't think any insurance company would give you a policy.

Other than that, it looks like it has great bones!


Insurance for what?  It's not like it's going to catch on fire!
 
2022-10-01 2:00:20 AM  
This is a great house for people in LA. It's still worth $2,000,000b after it fell into a gorge.
 
2022-10-01 4:10:26 AM  
I decided to try it in VR.

Fark user imageView Full Size


It looks nice and it's convenient to turn your head to look around but I wish they would have used a stereoscopic camera.
 
2022-10-01 7:32:03 AM  

Flab: thornhill: Hard to believe any of the electrical and plumbing is legal, and that this dwelling ever received a certificate of occupancy.

I also cannot see any bank financing a mortgage for this cave. And definitely don't think any insurance company would give you a policy.

Other than that, it looks like it has great bones!

Insurance for what?  It's not like it's going to catch on fire!


I'd be more worried about a guest tripping and suing you.
 
2022-10-01 12:07:03 PM  

little big man: You shall not refinance!

[Fark user image 850x358]


Fool of a Took!
 
2022-10-01 12:07:32 PM  

Mock26: wxboy: OK So Amuse Me: Exactly HOW do you access the place? Rapel down from the top or climb up from the bottom? Picture #3 doesn't shed any light as to how you get to it. It's interesting to be sure, but I can't see this as being anything other than a gimmicky Air B&B rental strictly for the 'out there' factor.

I was wondering that too. The 3D tour does sort of show that there are stairs that seem to lead up and away from that patio area, but it's not clear that this is the way out. It's also not clear just how many stairs it takes to reach a road or whatever.

Looks like there is a trail that winds down the side of the hill:

[Fark user image 507x428]


Ah. So you have to hike a (probably gravelly) steep trail to get to or leave the place? That sounds fun. I guess that might be a plus or a minus depending on the buyer.
 
2022-10-01 1:20:45 PM  
If Minecraft has taught me anything, it's that expanding your cave home can be treacherous..
 
Displayed 49 of 49 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.