Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(MSN)   Black Mamba No. 3   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Africa, black mamba snake, Mamba, sub-Saharan Africa, black mamba, most feared snakes, South Africa, Tapiwa Musiiwa of the Hurungwe District  
•       •       •

3657 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2022 at 10:37 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-29 9:41:06 PM  
"In Africa, the saying goes, "In the bush, an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba, and this has been true in Africa since the dawn of time, is death sure." Hence its handle, "Death Incarnate." Its neurotoxic venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system, causing paralysis. The venom of a black mamba can kill a human being in four hours if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within 20 minutes. The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan. If not treated quickly with antivenom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the black mamba can deliver as much as 100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite
 
2022-09-29 10:43:32 PM  
houseofheat.coView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 10:45:35 PM  
Box jellyfish laughs.
 
2022-09-29 10:53:15 PM  
lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 10:53:32 PM  
I lived in West Africa as a child for 2 years. The saying was something like " A black mamba bite will kill you in 7 seconds. Unless you are an athlete, in which case 5 seconds"

I recall being stopped in a (dirt) road, waiting for 1 to cross, he did stretch the entire thing at one point, was at least 10 ft probably 15.

A green mamba was loose in church once. Sweet symbolism. It was killed by a guy with a 2x4 standing on a folding chair.

We used to sing the popular songs of the day if we walked across a field alone, to scare the snakes away. Though now I realize that was probably just for confidence.

And that's all my cool mamba stories bros.

/ And why I still know all the words to "Delta Dawn" and "Angie Baby"
 
2022-09-29 10:55:59 PM  
Glad it wasn't in a helicopter. That could be messy...
 
2022-09-29 10:59:20 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 11:00:57 PM  
Glad it wasn't in a hotel in Colorado.
 
2022-09-29 11:01:35 PM  
Mamba 1 2 3,4,5 everybody gettin' bitten so c'mon let's die...
 
2022-09-29 11:13:10 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 11:37:26 PM  

farknozzle: Mamba 1 2 3,4,5 everybody gettin' bitten so c'mon let's die...


a little bit of neurotoxin in your veins...
 
2022-09-29 11:52:16 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 11:53:25 PM  
aespa 에스파 'Black Mamba' MV
Youtube ZeerrnuLi5E
 
2022-09-29 11:56:49 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 11:57:36 PM  

vudukungfu: "In Africa, the saying goes, "In the bush, an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba, and this has been true in Africa since the dawn of time, is death sure." Hence its handle, "Death Incarnate." Its neurotoxic venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system, causing paralysis. The venom of a black mamba can kill a human being in four hours if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within 20 minutes. The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan. If not treated quickly with antivenom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the black mamba can deliver as much as 100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite


You forgot (to paraphrase): "Gargantuan: you so rarely get to use it in a sentence."
 
2022-09-30 12:12:52 AM  
"the fatal snake attack on Musiiwa's family members happened as they were collecting firewood"

Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. When I'm "collecting" firewood, I might encounter bears, wolves, cougars and farking honeybadgers who don't give a shiat, but those are still animals you can kinda sorta reason with, except for honeybadgers, of course.
Reptiles? No thanks. Vile and evil. Unleash all firepower you carry.
 
2022-09-30 12:28:44 AM  

vudukungfu: "In Africa, the saying goes, "In the bush, an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba, and this has been true in Africa since the dawn of time, is death sure." Hence its handle, "Death Incarnate." Its neurotoxic venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system, causing paralysis. The venom of a black mamba can kill a human being in four hours if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within 20 minutes. The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan. If not treated quickly with antivenom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the black mamba can deliver as much as 100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite


I've always loved that word. "Gargantuan "
 
2022-09-30 1:44:48 AM  
I mean, a black mamba is still just a snake. Some dumb s**t has to happen for one to kill three people. They probably all tried to kill it and all got nicked.
 
2022-09-30 1:51:58 AM  

vudukungfu: "In Africa, the saying goes, "In the bush, an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba, and this has been true in Africa since the dawn of time, is death sure." Hence its handle, "Death Incarnate." Its neurotoxic venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system, causing paralysis. The venom of a black mamba can kill a human being in four hours if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within 20 minutes. The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan. If not treated quickly with antivenom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the black mamba can deliver as much as 100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite


You found my notebook!
 
2022-09-30 1:57:42 AM  

rv4-farker: "Gargantuan: you so rarely get to use it in a sentence."


Brobdingnagian, even less so.
 
2022-09-30 2:09:11 AM  

vudukungfu: "In Africa, the saying goes, "In the bush, an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba, and this has been true in Africa since the dawn of time, is death sure." Hence its handle, "Death Incarnate." Its neurotoxic venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system, causing paralysis. The venom of a black mamba can kill a human being in four hours if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within 20 minutes. The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan. If not treated quickly with antivenom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the black mamba can deliver as much as 100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite


You know, I've always liked that word, "gargantuan", you so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence.
 
2022-09-30 2:52:12 AM  
The article says the boy was bitten on the ankle as he tried to get away.

If this snake were put on trial, it would lose the "stand your ground" defense on that.

"Nervous animals," my ass.
 
2022-09-30 2:54:07 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 3:39:08 AM  
A snake bit Monica ends her life.A snake bit Erica on her side.A snake bit Rita on her knee.A snake bit Tina, so I see.A snake bit Sandra on the bum.A snake bit Mary all night long.A snake bit Jessica on the canA snake bit you and I said "damn!"
 
2022-09-30 4:51:47 AM  

SurelyShirley: "the fatal snake attack on Musiiwa's family members happened as they were collecting firewood"

Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. When I'm "collecting" firewood, I might encounter bears, wolves, cougars and farking honeybadgers who don't give a shiat, but those are still animals you can kinda sorta reason with, except for honeybadgers, of course.
Reptiles? No thanks. Vile and evil. Unleash all firepower you carry.


CONTAAAACT
 
2022-09-30 5:05:41 AM  

XrayVision: I lived in West Africa as a child for 2 years. The saying was something like " A black mamba bite will kill you in 7 seconds. Unless you are an athlete, in which case 5 seconds"

I recall being stopped in a (dirt) road, waiting for 1 to cross, he did stretch the entire thing at one point, was at least 10 ft probably 15.

A green mamba was loose in church once. Sweet symbolism. It was killed by a guy with a 2x4 standing on a folding chair.

We used to sing the popular songs of the day if we walked across a field alone, to scare the snakes away. Though now I realize that was probably just for confidence.

And that's all my cool mamba stories bros.

/ And why I still know all the words to "Delta Dawn" and "Angie Baby"


Me too, 4 years in Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire.  Our gardener would kill snakes with his slingshot and hang them on the gate for a local guy who came around collecting them and made snakeskin belts out of them.  One day when I got back from school there was a huge mamba on the gate.  They're evil looking.
 
2022-09-30 5:20:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 7:30:19 AM  

XrayVision: I lived in West Africa as a child for 2 years. The saying was something like " A black mamba bite will kill you in 7 seconds. Unless you are an athlete, in which case 5 seconds"

I recall being stopped in a (dirt) road, waiting for 1 to cross, he did stretch the entire thing at one point, was at least 10 ft probably 15.

A green mamba was loose in church once. Sweet symbolism. It was killed by a guy with a 2x4 standing on a folding chair.

We used to sing the popular songs of the day if we walked across a field alone, to scare the snakes away. Though now I realize that was probably just for confidence.

And that's all my cool mamba stories bros.

/ And why I still know all the words to "Delta Dawn" and "Angie Baby"


When I was getting prepped to head to Zimbabwe as an archaeology grad student, my mentor told me that if you're walking through the bush, and you smell corn, stop moving and remain perfectly still. Apparently, that's what he was told by the locals he had an in with.

I guess when he was doing his grad work over there, he was out in the field walking to his site with his guides when everyone just stopped moving. He was told to remain dead still. Then, a full grown mamba lifted itself off the ground, and was eye to eye with one of the guides (who was about 5'10"). My mentor said the guide was statuesque, immovable. After a minute or so, the mamba relaxed and moved along. The group waited until they could no longer smell it.

Not sure if they actually smell, never ran into one. Thank all the gods/dieties/spirits/whatever.
 
2022-09-30 8:12:59 AM  

bearded clamorer: [Fark user image 640x396]


You seem like your knee-deep in the hoopla
 
2022-09-30 8:29:47 AM  

SurelyShirley: "the fatal snake attack on Musiiwa's family members happened as they were collecting firewood"

Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. When I'm "collecting" firewood, I might encounter bears, wolves, cougars and farking honeybadgers who don't give a shiat, but those are still animals you can kinda sorta reason with, except for honeybadgers, of course.
Reptiles? No thanks. Vile and evil. Unleash all firepower you carry.


Collecting firewood is also known as destroying habitat.
 
2022-09-30 10:39:53 PM  

Snort: SurelyShirley: "the fatal snake attack on Musiiwa's family members happened as they were collecting firewood"

Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. When I'm "collecting" firewood, I might encounter bears, wolves, cougars and farking honeybadgers who don't give a shiat, but those are still animals you can kinda sorta reason with, except for honeybadgers, of course.
Reptiles? No thanks. Vile and evil. Unleash all firepower you carry.

Collecting firewood is also known as destroying habitat.


Yeah naw. We have a 20 acre all-forest property and just the "dead standing" lodgepoles provide more than our need of firewood every year, so there's still plenty of live and healthy, plus plenty of dead standing trees to provide habitat for all sorts of creatures around.
Plus, our property borders on just about 2 million acres of national forest and at least the same amount of timberland. My collecting 4-5 cord of firewood per year will not change a thing.

/don't move here, though, it gets cold
//and we have a lot of snow
///and no one but ourselves to clear the roads
////Texas is sooo much nicer!
 
2022-10-01 12:19:44 AM  

urethra_franklin: XrayVision: I lived in West Africa as a child for 2 years. The saying was something like " A black mamba bite will kill you in 7 seconds. Unless you are an athlete, in which case 5 seconds"

I recall being stopped in a (dirt) road, waiting for 1 to cross, he did stretch the entire thing at one point, was at least 10 ft probably 15.

A green mamba was loose in church once. Sweet symbolism. It was killed by a guy with a 2x4 standing on a folding chair.

We used to sing the popular songs of the day if we walked across a field alone, to scare the snakes away. Though now I realize that was probably just for confidence.

And that's all my cool mamba stories bros.

/ And why I still know all the words to "Delta Dawn" and "Angie Baby"

When I was getting prepped to head to Zimbabwe as an archaeology grad student, my mentor told me that if you're walking through the bush, and you smell corn, stop moving and remain perfectly still. Apparently, that's what he was told by the locals he had an in with.

I guess when he was doing his grad work over there, he was out in the field walking to his site with his guides when everyone just stopped moving. He was told to remain dead still. Then, a full grown mamba lifted itself off the ground, and was eye to eye with one of the guides (who was about 5'10"). My mentor said the guide was statuesque, immovable. After a minute or so, the mamba relaxed and moved along. The group waited until they could no longer smell it.

Not sure if they actually smell, never ran into one. Thank all the gods/dieties/spirits/whatever.


They ain't that big.
King Cobra, however. Yeah.
 
Displayed 32 of 32 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.