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(Manchester Evening News)   Sometimes its not what you say, but how you say it. But sometimes it's what you say when you're purchasing a cucumber   (manchestereveningnews.co.uk) divider line
    More: Awkward, Humour, Comedy, Defence mechanism, Humor, Lidl shopper, Friendly cashier, Facebook users, second person  
•       •       •

4712 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2022 at 2:20 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-29 1:41:30 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 2:09:52 PM  
I have a total of two cucumbers for lunch during the span of a week.  I purchase them on the weekend and the cashier has never looked at me strange because of the three cucumbers in my basket.
 
2022-09-29 2:12:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 2:22:17 PM  
Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.
 
2022-09-29 2:22:35 PM  
Paige, is that you?
 
2022-09-29 2:24:18 PM  

Kalyco Jack: Paige, is that you?


Bit tame for her, doncha think?
 
2022-09-29 2:24:41 PM  
I have heard versions of this told as a joke for a couple decades now.
 
2022-09-29 2:26:10 PM  
So the Attention Whore didn't get enough attention and had to post on FB to get more attention.
/What am I missing here?
//Needs more attention
///Don't use FB, never will
 
2022-09-29 2:26:13 PM  
Best Halloween prank:

Go to a store on Halloween morning, and try to purchase only a pack of razor blades and a bag of Halloween candy. See what kind of looks you get!
 
2022-09-29 2:28:25 PM  
Article is useless without pics.

nothingbutnetnanny.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 2:29:02 PM  

cyberspacedout: Article is useless without pics.

[nothingbutnetnanny.com image 500x614]


PAIGE NO
 
2022-09-29 2:30:28 PM  
Now there's an article that should have been a tweet.

/ not even that, really
 
2022-09-29 2:34:35 PM  
I'm not for sale.
 
2022-09-29 2:35:13 PM  

turbocucumber: I'm not for sale.


Really?
 
2022-09-29 2:35:32 PM  

cyberspacedout: Article is useless without pics.

[nothingbutnetnanny.com image 500x614]


It's even got a condom on it, ready to go!
 
2022-09-29 2:39:58 PM  
British people suffer the worst news.
 
2022-09-29 2:40:21 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 2:46:06 PM  
swahnhennessy: British people suffer the worst news.

They are often so embarrassed that they have to tell the world about how embarrassed they are...

"I got a small bust of Winston Churchill stuck in me bum and went to the hospital! I was so mortified!"
story continues on pg. 3
 
2022-09-29 2:46:15 PM  
Right after she made a comment about a party....
 
2022-09-29 2:46:54 PM  

turbocucumber: I'm not for sale.


Well I hope you're at least upgrading to electric. Nothing says, "too old" quite like a gas powered turbo.
 
2022-09-29 2:51:24 PM  

turbocucumber: I'm not for sale.


I won't hear you, but I'll feel you?
Without warning, somethings drawing, listen?
 
2022-09-29 2:52:08 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

/shamelessly stolen
 
2022-09-29 2:52:46 PM  
She was so embarrassed she told a tabloid so they'd publish the ordeal for the world to read about. Riiiiight.
 
2022-09-29 2:55:43 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 2:59:33 PM  
I would have thought England had a more whimsical name for a cucumber. I've taken to calling eggplants, aubergines cause it sounds all fun, classy and sophisticated.
 
2022-09-29 3:00:21 PM  

Prof. Frink: turbocucumber: I'm not for sale.

Really?


Really. I can't see a price tag. I've checked.
 
2022-09-29 3:01:40 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 3:03:32 PM  

Solty Dog: I would have thought England had a more whimsical name for a cucumber. I've taken to calling eggplants, aubergines cause it sounds all fun, classy and sophisticated.


melanzane works. moulignon doesn't.
 
2022-09-29 3:11:43 PM  
Got herself in quite the pickle. I'd call it a real incident
 
2022-09-29 3:16:24 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

/Submitted without comment.
 
2022-09-29 3:17:43 PM  
Can someone post a link to the form for requesting back my wasted thirty seconds?
 
2022-09-29 3:19:01 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: "I got a small bust of Winston Churchill stuck in me bum and went to the hospital! I was so mortified!"


You too?
 
2022-09-29 3:32:57 PM  

cyberspacedout: Article is useless without pics.

[nothingbutnetnanny.com image 500x614]


Why is a watermelon nearly $30?
 
2022-09-29 4:16:34 PM  

GonnaCallYouOut: cyberspacedout: Article is useless without pics.

[nothingbutnetnanny.com image 500x614]

Why is a watermelon nearly $30?


Because Brexit, and Truss.
 
2022-09-29 4:52:15 PM  

bifster: [Fark user image image 500x338]


Bahaha! Fark is such a hivemind, that's the first thing I thought of. 😂
 
2022-09-29 5:18:41 PM  
The Fast Show - Arthur Atkinson Complete Part 9
Youtube JicjC2GXKzE
 
2022-09-29 5:18:50 PM  

Creepy Lurker Guy: Mr. Shabooboo: "I got a small bust of Winston Churchill stuck in me bum and went to the hospital! I was so mortified!"

You too?


Everything was fine until I got down to the cigar....
 
2022-09-29 5:31:24 PM  

cyberspacedout: Article is useless without pics.

[nothingbutnetnanny.com image 500x614]


$26 dollars for a goddamned Watermelon?

what store is this?  Trader Joe's?
 
2022-09-29 6:01:13 PM  

poorjon: Got herself in quite the pickle. I'd call it a real incident


Yea, she's Lucky. Charmed even.
 
2022-09-29 6:10:23 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Creepy Lurker Guy: Mr. Shabooboo: "I got a small bust of Winston Churchill stuck in me bum and went to the hospital! I was so mortified!"

You too?

Everything was fine until I got down to the cigar....


The trick is to extinguish the cigar first.
 
2022-09-29 6:28:38 PM  

whitroth: GonnaCallYouOut: cyberspacedout: Article is useless without pics.

[nothingbutnetnanny.com image 500x614]

Why is a watermelon nearly $30?

Because Brexit, and Truss.


That photo dates back to 2015, or maybe earlier, so before both. The resolution isn't high enough to read the rest of the sign, but I'm thinking it's for a crate of several melons.
 
2022-09-29 6:57:52 PM  
I thought Lidl shopper was a rap name.
 
2022-09-29 9:17:40 PM  

cyberspacedout: Article is useless without pics.

[nothingbutnetnanny.com image 500x614]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 9:19:50 PM  
y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2022-09-30 12:15:10 AM  
Shopping list:
Cucumber
Olive oil

Some cheap Parmesan and Italian spices
for plausible deniability
 
2022-09-30 12:27:14 AM  
"I chose Dare."
 
2022-09-30 1:45:45 AM  

BonoboJeezus: Shopping list:
Cucumber
Olive oil

Some cheap Parmesan and Italian spices
for plausible deniability


Is the olive oil extra virgin?
 
2022-09-30 7:32:28 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

 
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