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(Lifehacker)   Everyone should sit down when they pee, because of course it's much easier that way to muffle the screams of burning agony   (lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Urination, Urinary bladder, Urine, Urethra, Urology, cultural pee-standers, negligible effect, Sitting  
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3121 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2022 at 7:30 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



109 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-09-28 11:05:28 PM  
As someone who cleans the bathrooms in a house with a boy and a man I heartily endorse sitting.
 
2022-09-28 11:16:14 PM  
I'm sorry but you just get superior camera angles when one of you is standing.
 
2022-09-28 11:36:55 PM  

ace in your face: As someone who cleans the bathrooms in a house with a boy and a man I heartily endorse sitting.


This just means urinals should be standard equipment in bathrooms.
 
2022-09-29 12:15:46 AM  
Perhaps squat.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2022-09-29 2:48:07 AM  
"bespoke urination simulation machine"
 
2022-09-29 2:48:33 AM  
Especially after heavy drinking. You don't have to worry about keeping your balance.
 
2022-09-29 5:47:42 AM  
I think girls should stand when they pee, too.

/gf once showed me that trick while we were hiking
//I made her show me again
///for science, of course
 
2022-09-29 5:52:30 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 7:32:38 AM  

bearded clamorer: [Fark user image 500x297]


Option A also lets you rest your head when you're drunk or tired... as long as the lid isn't taller than the tank when raised.
 
2022-09-29 7:33:02 AM  
No
 
zez
2022-09-29 7:34:14 AM  
"I doubt anyone who has ever cleaned a bathroom used by men would need scientific proof of the mess that standing creates"

What about the weird squatting women do that causes them to piss and shiat all over the seat and more?
 
2022-09-29 7:34:54 AM  
Does not work well when "morning wood" is an additional factor.
 
2022-09-29 7:35:17 AM  
As a tall man, I prefer sitting. Wearing shorts, I can feel the splash back on my legs when the toilet or urinal is too close to the ground.
 
2022-09-29 7:35:21 AM  

zez: "I doubt anyone who has ever cleaned a bathroom used by men would need scientific proof of the mess that standing creates"

What about the weird squatting women do that causes them to piss and shiat all over the seat and more?


Dave Barry called it "hover peeing."
 
2022-09-29 7:37:01 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 7:37:12 AM  
I only pee in the shower, in the park or in the pool, as nature intended.
 
2022-09-29 7:38:09 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 7:39:09 AM  
Methinks Smitty & these "experts" adhere to British bathroom flooring styles:
Fark user imageView Full Size

You can make me sit to pee when you remove my penis from my cold dead hands!!
 
2022-09-29 7:42:03 AM  
My standing to pee isn't really a problem, except at 3 AM in the dark, where morning wood is sometimes also a factor.
 
2022-09-29 7:42:09 AM  
I clean my own bathroom and would sooner piss in the yard than sit. Sitspissing isn't natural
 
2022-09-29 7:42:52 AM  
How do I keep my dingus out of the water then?
 
2022-09-29 7:43:37 AM  
I can't pee while seated. I can fill the bowl with brownie batter, but I still have to pee when I stand up. I don't get it, I have to clean up afterwards.
 
2022-09-29 7:44:15 AM  

Fireproof: My standing to pee isn't really a problem, except at 3 AM in the dark, where morning wood is sometimes also a factor.


Just circling the bowl trying to find the right sound that signifies one has found the deepest water.
 
2022-09-29 7:44:49 AM  
My wife, wanting to find where the occasional mouse was getting into the house, ordered a black-light to find urine stains.... She then used it to look at our son's bathroom.  OMG, the trauma....

/did I mention she's a bit OCD?
 
2022-09-29 7:45:02 AM  
Counterpoint:

Every building in the country should have it's plumbing rebuilt to include urinals and separate drain lines for urine. If at least some urine was treated separately from fecal matter, ammonia (amongst many useful other chemicals) could be harvested and used to fertilize crops, instead of converting fossil fuels to anhydrous ammonia through the Haber-Bosch process.

Obviously it's a massive infrastructure investment, but the long term benefits would be enormous.
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-00338-6
 
2022-09-29 7:46:57 AM  
Also when you sit on the toilet the penis is submerged in water, so no splashing.
 
2022-09-29 7:48:36 AM  

Nick Nostril: How do I keep my dingus out of the water then?


With a Matthew Whitaker big dick toilet.
 
2022-09-29 7:48:39 AM  

Red Shirt Blues: Especially after heavy drinking. You don't have to worry about keeping your balance.


Plant your left hand on the wall and lean over the toilet to establish a tripod stance, grab dick with right hand, aim straight down.

Minimal splashing/missing the toilet.
 
2022-09-29 7:49:14 AM  
Been doing so for decades.
 
2022-09-29 7:49:58 AM  

whereisian: I only pee in the shower, in the park or in the pool, as nature intended.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 7:50:09 AM  

zez: "I doubt anyone who has ever cleaned a bathroom used by men would need scientific proof of the mess that standing creates"

What about the weird squatting women do that causes them to piss and shiat all over the seat and more?


This. This author never been inside a lady's bathroom.
 
2022-09-29 7:51:13 AM  
I've had mostly female roommates for the past 30 years, so I learned to sit to pee in my early 20s. I can never be accused of spattering pee.
 
2022-09-29 7:52:51 AM  
Old joke:

It's the beginning of the world, and God has just finished created all the animals. He has them line up, and hauls out his sack of gifts to bestow on each. He works his way down the line, giving out flight, claws, camouflage stripes, ability to squirt ink, and so forth. Then, finally, at the very end of the line, here come Man and Woman. God rummages in the bottom of the sack, and says, "OK, I've only got two gifts left: the ability to pee standing up-" Man cuts in and says "That's the one for me! Pee standing up!" So God gives it to him and Man runs off yelling "Woo! I can pee standing up!" God looks in the sack one last time, and looks at Woman, and says "I'm sorry my dear, but all that's left is 'ability to have multiple orgasms'."

/Male
//Mostly pees sitting down
 
2022-09-29 7:53:21 AM  
I swear there are people actually doing this. I'm the women's bathroom too.

d2u3dcdbebyaiu.cloudfront.netView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 7:53:25 AM  

zez: "I doubt anyone who has ever cleaned a bathroom used by men would need scientific proof of the mess that standing creates"

What about the weird squatting women do that causes them to piss and shiat all over the seat and more?


I think they do that because they're afraid to sit after the previous woman did the weird squatting thing and pissed and shiat all over the seat.
 
2022-09-29 7:54:46 AM  
Having cleaned both "men's" and "women's" bathrooms - I'd much rather clean the men's room.
 
2022-09-29 7:55:07 AM  
Down sitter here.  Ex is German and that's the only good thing from that marriage.  Plus, I can clean a house.
 
2022-09-29 7:57:13 AM  
Subby, not sure how to tell you this, but what you're experiencing isn't normal. Go see a doctor.
 
2022-09-29 7:58:29 AM  

thealgorerhythm: Also when you sit on the toilet the penis is submerged in water, so no splashing.


This guy's got your solution
emptywheel.netView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 7:58:35 AM  
About the third or fourth time I awakened my wife with late night or early morning splashing, I started sitting to pee.  Only at night, but it does make for a happier wife.
 
2022-09-29 7:58:42 AM  

bingethinker: ace in your face: As someone who cleans the bathrooms in a house with a boy and a man I heartily endorse sitting.

This just means urinals should be standard equipment in bathrooms.


They are. It's called the sink.
 
2022-09-29 8:00:30 AM  

zeroflight222: I swear there are people actually doing this. I'm the women's bathroom too.

[d2u3dcdbebyaiu.cloudfront.net image 850x696]


Yeah, that and the people who can somehow manage to splatter shiat up under the seat. I've always just assumed there are those that walk among us with prehensile anuses.
 
2022-09-29 8:02:27 AM  

Fireproof: where morning wood is sometimes also a factor.


preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 8:02:47 AM  

Fizpez: My wife, wanting to find where the occasional mouse was getting into the house, ordered a black-light to find urine stains.... She then used it to look at our son's bathroom.  OMG, the trauma....

/did I mention she's a bit OCD?


Don't tell her about hotel rooms then...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 8:03:08 AM  

Psychopompous: Counterpoint:

Every building in the country should have it's plumbing rebuilt to include urinals and separate drain lines for urine. If at least some urine was treated separately from fecal matter, ammonia (amongst many useful other chemicals) could be harvested and used to fertilize crops, instead of converting fossil fuels to anhydrous ammonia through the Haber-Bosch process.

Obviously it's a massive infrastructure investment, but the long term benefits would be enormous.
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-00338-6


What if I er, someone I know is already collecting their urine in jars?  Maybe we could set up some kind of centralized collection facility.
 
2022-09-29 8:03:12 AM  

rideaurocks: I clean my own bathroom and would sooner piss in the yard than sit. Sitspissing isn't natural


One of the things I miss most about living deep in the country was the freedom to piss off the front porch, when I'd have to get up in the middle of the night to let the puppies out for a widdle. Fastest way to house-train dogs is to demonstrate that the outdoors are for peeing in.

I really miss looking up at Orion while watering the landscape, wisps of steam drifting through the clear night air...
 
2022-09-29 8:03:39 AM  

Fireproof: My standing to pee isn't really a problem, except at 3 AM in the dark, where morning wood is sometimes also a factor.


Now, the toilet at the college where I work? That things cleaned at least once a day and you'd still think it was being used by toddlers in the middle of potty training. There's so much farking piss on the floor.
 
2022-09-29 8:03:46 AM  
Did they also investigate sit vs stand to wipe after snapping one off?
 
2022-09-29 8:05:02 AM  

zeroflight222: I swear there are people actually doing this. I'm the women's bathroom too.

[d2u3dcdbebyaiu.cloudfront.net image 850x696]


It's the "PRRRT" sound that elevates that comic from funny to hilarious.
 
2022-09-29 8:07:17 AM  

bingethinker: ace in your face: As someone who cleans the bathrooms in a house with a boy and a man I heartily endorse sitting.

This just means urinals should be standard equipment in bathrooms.


But if you replace the toilets, won't that make it harder on the ladies?
charlottestories.comView Full Size
 
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