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(Seattle Times)   Attention all single Farkers: take a shower, get a haircut, and straighten up that back because you just got a second chance   (seattletimes.com) divider line
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8127 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2022 at 1:05 AM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



124 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-09-29 8:23:26 AM  

Jesus McSordid: No snark here for once, I truly wished for better for her. She is obviously a very fine person, and she deserves every happiness.


Good try, but I doubt she reads the comments section of the #4 news aggregator in all of Lexington, Kentucky. You shoot your shot though.
 
2022-09-29 8:43:05 AM  

rosekolodny: covfefe: I wonder why you would get married at all when the interest on your interest on your interest on your interest is always going to be more than your husband's lifetime earnings.

Because getting married doesn't have a damn thing with your spouse's money, you shallow POS.



I know some divorce lawyers who would argue otherwise.
 
2022-09-29 8:54:36 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: There is no such thing as a "billionaire philanthropist". If you have a billion dollars, you have too much money, no matter how much you've given away.


Better than billionaires who throw money at conservative causes to try to sustain hegemony.
 
2022-09-29 8:59:30 AM  

bluorangefyre: On the one hand, you're marrying a multi-billionaire.  On the other hand, she's pledged to give away like 95% of her wealth.  So you'll still end up with something resembling a Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot, but you'll also get to watch the digits slowly shrink.


Give me half a billion dollars and I'll make sure I give it all away too. I'm sure I could find ways to spend it.
 
2022-09-29 9:12:02 AM  

jst3p: rosekolodny: jst3p: ace in your face: Christ, could the single men out there wash their clothes, bodies and brush their teeth for us gals who aren't billionaires? No one wants to suck your dick if you stink.

What do you bring to the table beyond sucking dick? Learn to cook or give sound financial advice, bring something else to the table. You all suck dick.

I used to think you weren't a terrible person.

Always good to hear from a fan!

/if you know me at all you know sometimes I just post for the lolz


You can't do that on fark. If you don't specifically put a disclaimer that you aren't actually serious, you get farkied as that thing you posted.  By now, many people have you labeled as "woman hating misogynistic incel".

I shiatposted something about how great Trump was several years ago. I thought it was so over the top that it couldn't possibly be taken seriously.  It was. Now I have people who think I am the Trumpiest of Trumpers despite that I have always thought he was an assclown.

Sorry Jst, you done shot yourself in the dick and will get hate from now on.
I know. Doesn't matter how many times I say I don't like TFG, I am Trump loving MAGAt. I guess that's why people have alts, so they can safely shiatpost.
 
2022-09-29 9:37:33 AM  

jjorsett: philodough: That woman kept roofs over tons of Americans during the pandemic.

Her donations in the US to help with food & shelter since the pandemic are about 6 billion.

Meanwhile, her previous ex did about jack & shiat for his employees or anybody else.

Except employ and pay close to two million of them.


Oh yes, that was so very generous of him.
 
2022-09-29 9:38:39 AM  

jst3p: The Exit Stencilist: If you think you can compete with a 5'7" dick, go for it

If I can get her to squint just right I am in like Flynn.


I misread "squint" as "SQUIRT" and yes, if you can get her to squirt I'm pretty sure you're in.
 
2022-09-29 9:41:36 AM  

ace in your face: Christ, could the single men out there wash their clothes, bodies and brush their teeth for us gals who aren't billionaires? No one wants to suck your dick if you stink.


Put down the cigarettes and lay off the alcohol, we'll have a deal.
 
2022-09-29 9:42:08 AM  
How do I love the? Let me count the ways...
Fark user imageView Full Size

Plus you have enough money to put her on a Space X mission that fails if thing don't work out.
 
2022-09-29 9:54:20 AM  
Mackenzie Bezos is free and now MTG is going to be free.  Who to chose.
 
2022-09-29 10:27:42 AM  

BlazeTrailer: kkinnison: I think the only chance i have with her is if Cupid's arrow misses its target and hits me instead and impales both of us together

cause i got nothing except maybe knowing how to cook

I've had your Velveeta queso. You best be moving on.


Ah, but you haven't had *my* Velveeta queso. It's the bomb! I've had women ask me for the recipe, so you know it's good.
 
2022-09-29 10:48:55 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 11:04:45 AM  
Well subby, this being Fark.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 11:29:03 AM  
It's hilarious, sad, and predictable how a suggestion like "maintain good hygiene" has set off a number of you. Some Farkers just can't help telling on themselves.
 
2022-09-29 11:40:55 AM  

ace in your face: Christ, could the single men out there wash their clothes, bodies and brush their teeth for us gals who aren't billionaires? No one wants to suck your dick if you stink.


If you can't handle me at my smelliest, you don't deserve me at my cleanest
 
2022-09-29 12:05:29 PM  

rosekolodny: covfefe: I wonder why you would get married at all when the interest on your interest on your interest on your interest is always going to be more than your husband's lifetime earnings.

Because getting married doesn't have a damn thing with your spouse's money, you shallow POS.


c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-29 1:02:00 PM  

Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle: A shower? In this economy?


Exactly.  Body wash. Shampoo.  Conditioner.  Moisturizer.
 
2022-09-29 1:04:44 PM  

Incog_Neeto: ace in your face: Christ, could the single men out there wash their clothes, bodies and brush their teeth for us gals who aren't billionaires? No one wants to suck your dick if you stink.

If you can't handle me at my smelliest, you don't deserve me at my cleanest


This
 
2022-09-29 1:14:47 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: There is no such thing as a "billionaire philanthropist". If you have a billion dollars, you have too much money, no matter how much you've given away.


How about "billionaire philanthrapist"?
 
2022-09-29 1:52:24 PM  
Billionaires shouldn't be sought after.

Billionaires are abominable byproducts of an evil system and shouldn't exist.
 
2022-09-29 2:38:26 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: There is no such thing as a "billionaire philanthropist". If you have a billion dollars, you have too much money, no matter how much you've given away.


Derp
 
2022-09-29 2:39:24 PM  

bluejeansonfire: Billionaires shouldn't be sought after.

Billionaires are abominable byproducts of an evil system and shouldn't exist.


Sounds logical.  But, she married a dude that became a billionaire.  Maybe it's why she did very un-billionaire-like things in giving away billions soon after her divorce settlement landed in her accounts.
 
2022-09-29 8:04:52 PM  

BlazeTrailer: kkinnison: I think the only chance i have with her is if Cupid's arrow misses its target and hits me instead and impales both of us together

cause i got nothing except maybe knowing how to cook

I've had your Velveeta queso. You best be moving on.


Sir, this is derogatory slander.  I live in Wisconsin, we know what good cheese is, and Velveeta is what the tourists buy because they have no idea how a good artisanal cheese can elevate such a plebeian meal like grilled cheese sandwiches into a religions experaince

you will be contacted by my lawyer Shortly.

/yes his name is Ira shortly
 
2022-09-30 12:48:45 AM  
I knew she batted for my team. Thanks, captain obvious.
 
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