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(Mother Jones)   Capitol terrorist Underpants Boy guilty, faces 24 years. Fark: After rejecting plea deal that would have limited prison time to about 90 days   (motherjones.com) divider line
    More: Followup, United States Capitol Police, United States Capitol, United States Capitol shooting incident, defendant John Strand, Washington, D.C., Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C., Supreme Court of the United States, United States Capitol rotunda  
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3393 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Sep 2022 at 4:55 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



73 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-09-27 10:08:51 PM  
These are not smart people.
 
2022-09-27 10:19:58 PM  
-testimony that even Strand's lawyer admitted was harrowing.

He had a lawyer? And still managed not to get away with a 90-day slap on the wrist?
 
2022-09-27 10:55:43 PM  

Sawdust and Mildew: -testimony that even Strand's lawyer admitted was harrowing.

He had a lawyer? And still managed not to get away with a 90-day slap on the wrist?


He is not a clever man.
 
2022-09-28 12:07:10 AM  
Enjoy your stupid prize.
 
2022-09-28 4:15:14 AM  
That's some weapons grade finding out.
 
2022-09-28 4:57:03 AM  

OdradekRex: These are not smart people.


he loves the poorly educated
 
2022-09-28 4:58:11 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 4:58:43 AM  
This must be that nothing that keeps happening
 
2022-09-28 4:59:20 AM  
'90 days isn't enough to give me proper street cred.'
'Fine.  See you in 2046.'
 
2022-09-28 5:05:27 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 5:11:42 AM  

qorkfiend: This must be that nothing that keeps happening


Problem is that so far it only seems to be happening to the prawns and not the organ-grinders.
 
2022-09-28 5:13:12 AM  
His father, a Navy officer, nicknamed him "Maverick," which is why Strand adopted the hashtag #TruthMaverick to refer to himself on social media once he got into politics. He was homeschooled

He never stood a chance.
 
2022-09-28 5:15:09 AM  

qorkfiend: This must be that nothing that keeps happening


They're not all dead, so it's the same as nothing.
 
2022-09-28 5:16:31 AM  
Strand claimed to have joined the mob at the Capitol simply as Gold's "protector," using his skills as a licensed security professional


i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 5:17:14 AM  
So when DeSantis or TFG pardon these guys, they'll be given judgeships or Medals of Freedom?
 
2022-09-28 5:19:06 AM  
Why would he take a plea when Trump has his back?  Pardon is coming as soon as Trump is installed as President in 2 weeks.
 
2022-09-28 5:26:28 AM  
Waiting for the followup of the actual sentencing before i celebrate.
 
2022-09-28 5:30:24 AM  

Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle: qorkfiend: This must be that nothing that keeps happening

Problem is that so far it only seems to be happening to the prawns and not the organ-grinders.


i like it when my organs grind the prawns.

casuallypeckish.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 5:33:51 AM  
FTA:
"Strand remained stoic as the jury read out the verdict."


Blue Steel?

static.standard.co.ukView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 5:35:29 AM  
Take the plea and get 90 days, or go to court and OWN THE LIBS!!!

Gosh, I'm owned now.  All you other MAGA heads need to own me even more.
 
2022-09-28 5:43:10 AM  
Oh god I feel so owned. You sure showed me!
 
2022-09-28 5:44:52 AM  
I'm no internet lawyer, but isn't even feigned contrition important in lowering your punishment?
 
2022-09-28 5:48:30 AM  
Defendant 1: "I'm so sorry". Gets 3 months.

Defendant 2: "I'm so sorry." Gets 9 months. Probation.

This guy:  "I will not bend the knee to tyranny!" "My prosecution part of an utterly dishonest and politicized kangaroo court circus."

Found guilty on all five counts in the indictment, including ... a felony that by itself carries a maximum 20-year sentence and a $250,000 fine.

I'm not sure his strategy was the best one.
 
2022-09-28 5:50:59 AM  

Sawdust and Mildew: -testimony that even Strand's lawyer admitted was harrowing.

He had a lawyer? And still managed not to get away with a 90-day slap on the wrist?



What ignoring your attorney's advice may look like:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 5:55:22 AM  
This kind of thing helps me remember that all my farkups over the last 45 years, smooshed together, aren't nearly as bad as this guy's farkup on one day.  That's comforting.
 
2022-09-28 5:56:40 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Sawdust and Mildew: -testimony that even Strand's lawyer admitted was harrowing.

He had a lawyer? And still managed not to get away with a 90-day slap on the wrist?


What ignoring your attorney's advice may look like:
[Fark user image 400x222] [View Full Size image _x_]


If you spoke ant-speech you'd hear a really tiny "Leroy Jenkins!".
 
2022-09-28 6:06:21 AM  

Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle: qorkfiend: This must be that nothing that keeps happening

Problem is that so far it only seems to be happening to the prawns and not the organ-grinders.


"Ain't nothing gonna happen" doesn't draw such a distinction
 
2022-09-28 6:22:03 AM  

qorkfiend: Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle: qorkfiend: This must be that nothing that keeps happening

Problem is that so far it only seems to be happening to the prawns and not the organ-grinders.

"Ain't nothing gonna happen" doesn't draw such a distinction


I thought we Liberals were into slogans with implied complexity, like defund the police.
 
2022-09-28 6:34:35 AM  
After finally leaving the House chamber hallway, Strand and Gold didn't exit the building as instructed by police. Instead, Gold went into Statuary Hall and attempted to give a speech-the speech, Strand's lawyer argued, that is the heart of this case. Officers forced her to leave the hall, but she later went into the Rotunda and climbed on a statue with a bullhorn and continued to address the rioters, with Strand perched right behind her.

"Pay attention to me!"

"Okay. Here's several years of it. Oh, wait. 'Attention' not 'detrntion'. Close enough."
 
2022-09-28 6:41:34 AM  
I'm sure even the most over worked and incompetent of public defenders tried to talk him out of going to trial.

Not sure who came up with the idea of blaming the older GF. Not the best defense but not the worst either. But it sure as fark was not gonna work without some witnesses to corroborate that she messed him up.

You'd at least need some friends and/family to paint a picture that this guy was a sweet home school dummy and that this older doctor lady manipulated him with her 'smarts'. And you'd probably need to get her on the stand to show the jury that she is capable of all that.

Instead they seem to have tried to blame her without actually throwing her under the bus and provided zero witnesses to corroborate.
 
2022-09-28 6:46:18 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 6:50:46 AM  

Aquapope: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Sawdust and Mildew: -testimony that even Strand's lawyer admitted was harrowing.

He had a lawyer? And still managed not to get away with a 90-day slap on the wrist?


What ignoring your attorney's advice may look like:
[Fark user image 400x222] [View Full Size image _x_]

If you spoke ant-speech you'd hear a really tiny "Leroy Jenkins!".


Spider vs Ant - Leeroy Jenkins
Youtube c5U28XQyZeU
 
2022-09-28 6:51:24 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: [Fark user image image 850x1211]


CSB Time: My mom was the manager at the Pizza Hut where he worked. It's quite possible that she is the one that gave hime the name "Dav." She remembers him, but doesn't remember who gave him the name tag.
 
2022-09-28 6:51:24 AM  
Well there's one we probably won't be hearing about again for a while. So...thanks for being a dumbass?
 
2022-09-28 6:52:29 AM  
That's a guy who spent his life thinking consequences are only for uggos.
 
2022-09-28 6:53:50 AM  
The sad/hilarious thing is these is they don't trust the government and represent themselves. They are then surprised that they get the book thrown at them. But instead of realizing they are in this situation because of their stupid reasoning, they just double down on "the government is outta control and I'm being oppressed by them!"
You can't win.
 
2022-09-28 6:54:11 AM  
motherjones.comView Full Size


Handsome guy.  He is NOT going to have a fun time in prison.  The whole Underpants thing is REALLY going to haunt him.

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 7:03:59 AM  

kbronsito: I'm sure even the most over worked and incompetent of public defenders tried to talk him out of going to trial.

Not sure who came up with the idea of blaming the older GF. Not the best defense but not the worst either. But it sure as fark was not gonna work without some witnesses to corroborate that she messed him up.

You'd at least need some friends and/family to paint a picture that this guy was a sweet home school dummy and that this older doctor lady manipulated him with her 'smarts'. And you'd probably need to get her on the stand to show the jury that she is capable of all that.

Instead they seem to have tried to blame her without actually throwing her under the bus and provided zero witnesses to corroborate.


It took about a week for her lawyer to talk sense into her.

Case Status:Arrested 1/18/21.

Indicted 2/5/21.

Arraigned 2/25/21 and pleaded not guilty to all counts.

Pleaded guilty 3/3/22.

Sentenced 6/16/22, 60 days in jail, one year of supervised release, $9,500 fine, and $500 restitution.
 
2022-09-28 7:11:48 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Defendant 1: "I'm so sorry". Gets 3 months.

Defendant 2: "I'm so sorry." Gets 9 months. Probation.

This guy:  "I will not bend the knee to tyranny!" "My prosecution part of an utterly dishonest and politicized kangaroo court circus."

Found guilty on all five counts in the indictment, including ... a felony that by itself carries a maximum 20-year sentence and a $250,000 fine.

I'm not sure his strategy was the best one.


This is what happens to people who can't deal with their petty personal problems and try to overthrow the government to fix them.
 
2022-09-28 7:21:45 AM  
The guy deserves a lengthy prison sentence. Nobody deserves rape.
 
2022-09-28 7:34:42 AM  

Hooferatheart: The guy deserves a lengthy prison sentence. Nobody deserves rape.


What you deserve and what you get are often quite different things.
 
2022-09-28 7:38:01 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 7:38:42 AM  

another one of them: kbronsito: I'm sure even the most over worked and incompetent of public defenders tried to talk him out of going to trial.

Not sure who came up with the idea of blaming the older GF. Not the best defense but not the worst either. But it sure as fark was not gonna work without some witnesses to corroborate that she messed him up.

You'd at least need some friends and/family to paint a picture that this guy was a sweet home school dummy and that this older doctor lady manipulated him with her 'smarts'. And you'd probably need to get her on the stand to show the jury that she is capable of all that.

Instead they seem to have tried to blame her without actually throwing her under the bus and provided zero witnesses to corroborate.

It took about a week for her lawyer to talk sense into her.

Case Status:Arrested 1/18/21.

Indicted 2/5/21.

Arraigned 2/25/21 and pleaded not guilty to all counts.

Pleaded guilty 3/3/22.

Sentenced 6/16/22, 60 days in jail, one year of supervised release, $9,500 fine, and $500 restitution.


She probably knows she was running a con with her antivaxx bullshiat, and that she took it too far. Her lawyer was probably able to get her to break character long enough for her to make good choices long enough to plea that case.
 
2022-09-28 7:38:58 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Hooferatheart: The guy deserves a lengthy prison sentence. Nobody deserves rape.

What you deserve and what you get are often quite different things.


And the American public knows this is true
 
2022-09-28 7:51:10 AM  

sleze: Handsome guy.  He is NOT going to have a fun time in prison.  The whole Underpants thing is REALLY going to haunt him.


Hey, he'll be famous.  I could see most of the inmates and a few of the staff going to the trouble of finding ads featuring him and taping them up on their walls.
 
2022-09-28 8:01:21 AM  
...and yet, I am good with his defense decisions. I mean, it shows all the forethought and restraint that he'll always be known for.
 
2022-09-28 8:01:41 AM  
I'm not going to joke about what he has coming.

But I am smiling
 
2022-09-28 8:05:43 AM  
"Nothing gets between my Calvin's.  Except the Boss of Cell Block B."
 
2022-09-28 8:38:04 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/ moar of this, pleez
 
2022-09-28 8:46:13 AM  

Aquapope: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Sawdust and Mildew: -testimony that even Strand's lawyer admitted was harrowing.

He had a lawyer? And still managed not to get away with a 90-day slap on the wrist?


What ignoring your attorney's advice may look like:
[Fark user image 400x222] [View Full Size image _x_]

If you spoke ant-speech you'd hear a really tiny "Leroy Jenkins!".


"Leeroy Jenkins" is in fact what I GIS'd to find that gif.
 
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