Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   Trump hired a real lawyer. Paid him $3 million up front. And now he's been sidelined, presumably because he gave Trump real legal advice   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Lawyer, Chris Kise, Supreme Court of the United States, President of the United States, United States, Federal government of the United States, Jury, Supreme court  
•       •       •

5305 clicks; posted to Politics » on 27 Sep 2022 at 2:20 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



152 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-09-27 12:47:39 PM  
You can only tell a client to stop committing crimes for so long.
 
2022-09-27 12:51:03 PM  
Kise's hiring came with an unusual price tag of $3 million, paid for by Trump's outside spending arm. The retainer fee, paid upfront, raised eyebrows among other lawyers on Trump's team, given the former President has a developed a reputation for not paying his legal fees.


Grandpa used to say that if you don't know who's the patsy at the table it's you.

He should have mentioned some tables are nearly ALL patsies.
 
2022-09-27 12:52:15 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Maybe the lawyer's vocal cords ran out?
 
2022-09-27 12:59:32 PM  
I dunno. I think it's funny a lawyer grifted him for once.
 
2022-09-27 1:02:09 PM  

OdradekRex: You can only tell a client to stop committing crimes for so long.


Just telling Trump to shut up would probably have done it.
"Talk less."
"Isn't it talk less, smile more?"
"Let's keep it simple to start with."
 
2022-09-27 1:11:11 PM  
Who recommended Dearie? They'll be in the doghouse.
 
2022-09-27 1:14:31 PM  
Trump hired a real lawyer. Paid him $3 million up front. And now he's been sidelined, presumably because he gave Trump real legal advice

Uh oh, better deploy the Ketchup Kleanup Brigade.
 
2022-09-27 1:27:07 PM  

wademh: Who recommended Dearie? They'll be in the doghouse.


That could be it.
Alternately, it might be that Kise explicitly refused a request by ex-45** to commit perjury in a brief.
 
2022-09-27 1:50:37 PM  
Kise is laughing all the way to the bank, I'm guessing
 
2022-09-27 2:00:47 PM  
His first mistake was probably telling Trump something he didn't want to hear.


pa1.narvii.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-27 2:23:05 PM  
I normally don't judge people by their looks, but that guy looks like he worked in the basement of Comet Pizza or something.
 
2022-09-27 2:23:45 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-27 2:24:09 PM  
Easiest money in the world. All you have to do is tell your client the truth, refuse to get yourself indicted for them, then sit back and do nothing while your client hangs himself.
 
2022-09-27 2:24:42 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Sounds like a fresh coat of paint may have been applied to his "residence"
 
rpm
2022-09-27 2:25:21 PM  

shastacola: His first mistake was probably telling Trump something he didn't want to hear.


[pa1.narvii.com image 499x374] [View Full Size image _x_]


No, that was his second mistake.

His first was dealing with Trump at all.
 
2022-09-27 2:27:36 PM  

rpm: shastacola: His first mistake was probably telling Trump something he didn't want to hear.


[pa1.narvii.com image 499x374] [View Full Size image _x_]

No, that was his second mistake.

His first was dealing with Trump at all.


maybe that was his plan.
get 3 mill.
Piss off trump by telling the truth.
Walk away 3 mill richer..
 
2022-09-27 2:27:53 PM  

shastacola: His first mistake was probably telling Trump something he didn't want to hear.



Yes probably. Hilarious that TFG is sidelining a former solictor general of Florida instead that lawyer who defended parking lots and his other assorted hacks.

Keep losing harder Donnie! America needs the laughs.
 
2022-09-27 2:29:33 PM  

Badmoodman: Trump hired a real lawyer. Paid him $3 million up front. And now he's been sidelined, presumably because he gave Trump real legal advice

Uh oh, better deploy the Ketchup Kleanup Brigade.


It's the Ketchup Kleanup Krue or KKK.
 
2022-09-27 2:30:59 PM  
The last thing Trump wants to hear is an honest, no bullshiat review of what he's done and what his chances of avoiding conviction really are...
 
2022-09-27 2:31:21 PM  
so who gave trump the $3 mill?
 
2022-09-27 2:31:30 PM  
I'm calling B.S. Trump never pays ANYBODY.
 
2022-09-27 2:31:41 PM  
 
2022-09-27 2:32:07 PM  
Fascists in disarray!!
 
2022-09-27 2:32:41 PM  

SpectroBoy: Kise's hiring came with an unusual price tag of $3 million, paid for by Trump's outside spending arm. The retainer fee, paid upfront, raised eyebrows among other lawyers on Trump's team, given the former President has a developed a reputation for not paying his legal fees.


Imagine being an attorney and being this dumb.
 
2022-09-27 2:33:06 PM  
Sounds like Kise tried to price himself out of the gig, but got called on it. Now he's scrambling to find a place where he can represent TFG without getting his license yanked.
 
2022-09-27 2:33:18 PM  

replacementcool: so who gave trump the $3 mill?


Trump probably stole that cash from the GOP.
 
2022-09-27 2:33:53 PM  
Lawyer: "Ok, first thing you're going to want to do is shut the fark up"

TittyBabyMcSmallHands: (doing his Apprentice thing) You're fired.

Lawyer: "Good luck, please don't mention my name in the future"

TittyBaby: (begins making airplane noises and writing to Truth Social
 
2022-09-27 2:34:11 PM  
I wonder if Dump will now get ANOTHER lawyer to sue THIS lawyer to get the retainer back? (and not pay the new lawyer)
 
2022-09-27 2:34:37 PM  

Weaver95: replacementcool: so who gave trump the $3 mill?

Trump probably stole that cash from the GOP.


I figured he got it from one of PACs
 
2022-09-27 2:35:10 PM  

ArkPanda: OdradekRex: You can only tell a client to stop committing crimes for so long.

Just telling Trump to shut up would probably have done it.
"Talk less."
"Isn't it talk less, smile more?"
"Let's keep it simple to start with."


"You're f*cked.  Make a deal."
 
2022-09-27 2:36:01 PM  

bumfuzzled: Sounds like Kise tried to price himself out of the gig, but got called on it. Now he's scrambling to find a place where he can represent TFG without getting his license yanked.


Yeah, he's going to earn that $3m by the time this is all over.

And I'm not even mad. I'm amused by the spectacle.
 
2022-09-27 2:36:38 PM  
Might have to do with him being a registered foreign agent for a Socialist Country in South America...
 
2022-09-27 2:37:45 PM  
Obviously, I'm more shocked that someone working for Trump got paid up front.
 
2022-09-27 2:38:12 PM  
I imagine Trump's legal team is running around like some old Benny Hill skit. Everybody is moving at top speed, but not actually doing anything but ringing up billable hours. And Yakety Sax is playing in the background.
 
2022-09-27 2:38:54 PM  

fringedmyotis: I'm calling B.S. Trump never pays ANYBODY.


One of his PACs paid for this. A rubefunded defense.
 
hej
2022-09-27 2:40:08 PM  
To be fair to Trump, Kise was paid with PAC money.  It's not as if it's his own money being wasted.
 
2022-09-27 2:40:42 PM  

spongeboob: Trump thinks the way to always be the smartest person in the room is to hire dumbasses


And he has never succeeded.
 
2022-09-27 2:40:42 PM  

Rann Xerox: ArkPanda: OdradekRex: You can only tell a client to stop committing crimes for so long.

Just telling Trump to shut up would probably have done it.
"Talk less."
"Isn't it talk less, smile more?"
"Let's keep it simple to start with."

"You're f*cked.  Make a deal."


"Plead guilty and beg for life in prison instead of the chair"
 
2022-09-27 2:41:13 PM  
I like this guy.  That's my kind of grift.
 
2022-09-27 2:42:16 PM  

GhostOfSavageHenry: Easiest money in the world. All you have to do is tell your client the truth, refuse to get yourself indicted for them, then sit back and do nothing while your client hangs himself.


Well, almost all. You have to do one more little thing: deposit the 3 mil in a trust account, deduct your (hours x hourly rate) from it, keep records, and return the balance if you get fired. If there's a fee dispute, a court or bar association will review whether your hourly rate and/or hours were unreasonable. For this representation, to hit "unreasonable", you would probably have to charge thousands of dollars an hour for >> 60 hrs/ week.
 
2022-09-27 2:42:43 PM  
This is almost certainly related to Dearie's instruction to "raise any factual dispute as to the completeness and accuracy of the Detailed Property Inventory" by the end of the month, where Trump almost certainly has demanded that Kise commit perjury.
 
2022-09-27 2:42:53 PM  

Rann Xerox: ArkPanda: OdradekRex: You can only tell a client to stop committing crimes for so long.

Just telling Trump to shut up would probably have done it.
"Talk less."
"Isn't it talk less, smile more?"
"Let's keep it simple to start with."

"You're f*cked.  Make a deal."


What was that movie where George Clooney was a fux it lawyer who almost got blowed up?

In it he goes to the house of some guy involved in a hit and run and tells him this is what you are going to
Turn yourself in
Give a statement saying you panicked and are sorry
Keep your mouth shut and we will try and get you probation

The guy looks at him and says I thought you were going to get me off

He retorts I am you deserve to go to jail
 
2022-09-27 2:42:55 PM  

Badmoodman: Trump hired a real lawyer. Paid him $3 million up front. And now he's been sidelined, presumably because he gave Trump real legal advice

Uh oh, better deploy the Ketchup Kleanup Brigade.


That's Ketchup Kleenup Krew....
 
2022-09-27 2:43:40 PM  

Klivian: Rann Xerox: ArkPanda: OdradekRex: You can only tell a client to stop committing crimes for so long.

Just telling Trump to shut up would probably have done it.
"Talk less."
"Isn't it talk less, smile more?"
"Let's keep it simple to start with."

"You're f*cked.  Make a deal."

"Plead guilty and beg for life in prison instead of the chair"


As far as I am aware none of the crimes listed in the search warrant are punishable by death or life in prison.
 
2022-09-27 2:44:36 PM  

Weaver95: replacementcool: so who gave trump the $3 mill?

Trump probably stole that cash from the GOP.


I legitimately can't be mad at grifters stealing from the GOP. Even if I hate the grifter.
 
2022-09-27 2:44:43 PM  

ArkPanda: OdradekRex: You can only tell a client to stop committing crimes for so long.

Just telling Trump to shut up would probably have done it.
"Talk less."
"Isn't it talk less, smile more?"
"Let's keep it simple to start with."


Donnie has the smile of a psycho or an idiot. "Shaddup, stupid, and keep your head down," is the best advice to give him.
 
2022-09-27 2:44:52 PM  
If you want to know where all of Trump's money goes and how he accumulates so much debt, there's your answer: Heavy litigation.

As I said in another thread, Trump doesn't see the law as a system of rules to abide by. Rather, he sees it as a weapon to bludgeon others through costly court appearances and legal filings.

So he sues. He sues to get what he wants. He sues to get his way. But even more importantly: He sues to hurt whoever he's targeting. He sues out of spite, to make it as painful as possible -- a pyrrhic war of attrition -- for whoever he feels has wronged him. Sometimes this works, but most times it just costs everybody time and money, especially himself. That's where most of his initial $400 million cash inheritance went.

Trump has been involved in over 3500 lawsuits, most of them he's instigated. He has settled or lost over half, won a precious few, even fewer have gone to court.

Suing isn't something us regular folks do often, because it costs money and lawyers. But Trump is rich (at least on paper) and can afford to sue. And he has learned that the mere threat of a lawsuit is enough to get most people to back down, because no one wants to waste money going toe-to-toe with him through a protracted legal injunction.

In fact, I'm willing to suggest that the biggest reason why Trump has so much debt is all the heavy litigation. He burns hundreds of thousands of dollars a day just in legal costs and court fees. If you look at the Trump Orgs finances (the REAL ones), probably up to 80% of its expenses is retaining lawyers. Any one of his ~500 LLCs could be mired in any kind of legal spat at any one time, which cuts into his overhead. He is constantly dipping into his hotel and golf course revenue to pay for personal vendettas which is why they're all failing.

The Trump Org is, if nothing else, merely a legal factory. It makes, produces, and pays for legal services.
 
2022-09-27 2:45:01 PM  

shpritz: One of his PACs paid for this.


Yup. He grifts about 200 million a year from the morans. 3mil is part of the interest made on that just sitting there. His businesses aren't making shiat, the only gain he's had is that shady Post office building lease he sold, and that was probably a wash.
 
2022-09-27 2:45:39 PM  

spongeboob: Rann Xerox: ArkPanda: OdradekRex: You can only tell a client to stop committing crimes for so long.

Just telling Trump to shut up would probably have done it.
"Talk less."
"Isn't it talk less, smile more?"
"Let's keep it simple to start with."

"You're f*cked.  Make a deal."

What was that movie where George Clooney was a fux it lawyer who almost got blowed up?

In it he goes to the house of some guy involved in a hit and run and tells him this is what you are going to
Turn yourself in
Give a statement saying you panicked and are sorry
Keep your mouth shut and we will try and get you probation

The guy looks at him and says I thought you were going to get me off

He retorts I am you deserve to go to jail


From Dusk Till Dawn?
 
2022-09-27 2:47:35 PM  
FTFA: "...paid for by Trump's outside spending arm."

And who tf is this?
 
Displayed 50 of 152 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.