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(News 5 Cleveland)   Myles Garrett rolls his Porsche on the way home from practice and is hospitalized   (news5cleveland.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Ohio State Highway Patrol, defensive end Myles Garrett, single-car crash Monday afternoon, Cleveland Browns, MEDINA COUNTY, Washington, Ohio State Highway Patrol officials, Ohio  
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486 clicks; posted to Sports » on 27 Sep 2022 at 3:50 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-27 5:34:05 AM  
Those damned Browns fans have gone too far this time.
 
2022-09-27 5:56:42 AM  
Road head.
 
2022-09-27 6:08:28 AM  

martiandooz: Road head.


I came for that.
/ phrasing?!
 
2022-09-27 6:56:02 AM  

martiandooz: Road head.


Seat belts were on. He was just enjoying an expensive toy and maybe showing off a little.
 
2022-09-27 7:18:12 AM  
Ahh, more car than driver skill
 
2022-09-27 7:19:01 AM  
Sounds like Garrett opted to not pay for the driver training that Porsche offers as a part of the delivery package.
 
2022-09-27 7:23:06 AM  
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Ouch.  I'm surprised he fits in a 911.  They are not big cars inside.
 
2022-09-27 7:26:05 AM  
this is just a few miles from my house.  I went down there.... from the skid marks, it looks like he was speeding
 
2022-09-27 7:49:53 AM  

ltdanman44: from the skid marks, it looks like he was speeding


What kind of loser buys a Porsche so they can drive the speed limit?
 
2022-09-27 7:55:37 AM  

ltdanman44: this is just a few miles from my house.  I went down there.... from the skid marks, it looks like he was speeding


Sounds like he turned off all the driver aids.
 
2022-09-27 8:16:15 AM  

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: ltdanman44: from the skid marks, it looks like he was speeding

What kind of loser buys a Porsche so they can drive the speed limit?


Someone who doesn't want to roll the car like an idiot, risking a career worth hundreds of millions of dollars?
 
2022-09-27 8:45:17 AM  
He was just taking it for a little spin.
Maybe showing it off to a couple of friends

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2022-09-27 8:46:34 AM  
He almost Hortoned himself.
 
2022-09-27 8:49:37 AM  

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: ltdanman44: from the skid marks, it looks like he was speeding

What kind of loser buys a Porsche so they can drive the speed limit?


You've obviously never been to Florida. Old people love to buy high end 911's and drive them 5 under the limit in the passing lane all day.
 
2022-09-27 9:46:45 AM  
Hopefully he will fully recover from this.
 
2022-09-27 10:12:06 AM  

martiandooz: Road head.


Roethlisberger unretired and signed with the Clowns?
 
2022-09-27 10:47:57 AM  

ltdanman44: this is just a few miles from my house.  I went down there.... from the skid marks, it looks like he was speeding


If my car was about to flip, I'd have plenty of skid marks as well
 
2022-09-27 11:45:34 AM  
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/happy ending, the no one was injured in the car crash
 
2022-09-27 12:00:32 PM  
He said he swerved to avoid an animal in the road and lost control when overcorrecting.
 
2022-09-27 12:09:17 PM  

Troy McClure: He said he swerved to avoid an animal in the road and lost control when overcorrecting.


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/deer was a Steelers fan
 
2022-09-27 12:10:32 PM  

ElFugawz: [Fark user image image 256x256] : [Fark user image image 256x256]
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/happy ending, the no one was injured in the car crash


No, the happy ending guy is Deshame Cosby, the QB.
 
2022-09-27 12:51:03 PM  

null: ElFugawz: [Fark user image image 256x256] : [Fark user image image 256x256]
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/happy ending, the no one was injured in the car crash

No, the happy ending guy is Deshame Cosby, the QB.


Here's the rub: If it's about the Browns, I'm going to make massage references even if Deshaun Watstein is not involved in the story.
 
2022-09-27 1:35:05 PM  

null: ElFugawz: [Fark user image image 256x256] : [Fark user image image 256x256]
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/happy ending, the no one was injured in the car crash

No, the happy ending guy is Deshame Cosby, the QB.


I get it, you're a Browns fan and you're in pain. But that nickname is way too clunky and I've seen you use it in like 10 threads. It just doesn't flow and it barely reminds the viewer of the person in question, since you've tweaked both parts.

Try Deshaun Cosby or Deshame Watson. Or, like the dude posting above, Deshaun Watstein. All are a vast improvement.

My condolences, again, on your franchise.
 
2022-09-27 1:53:02 PM  

Troy McClure: He said he swerved to avoid an animal in the road and lost control when overcorrecting.


If that happened, then he definitely had all the driver aids disabled
 
2022-09-27 2:35:07 PM  

ElFugawz: null: ElFugawz: [Fark user image image 256x256] : [Fark user image image 256x256]
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[Fark user image image 225x225] : [Fark user image image 256x256]

/happy ending, the no one was injured in the car crash

No, the happy ending guy is Deshame Cosby, the QB.

Here's the rub: If it's about the Browns, I'm going to make massage references even if Deshaun Watstein is not involved in the story.


Come again?
 
2022-09-27 2:36:36 PM  

Eddie Hazel's E string: null: ElFugawz: [Fark user image image 256x256] : [Fark user image image 256x256]
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[Fark user image image 225x225] : [Fark user image image 256x256]

/happy ending, the no one was injured in the car crash

No, the happy ending guy is Deshame Cosby, the QB.

I get it, you're a Browns fan and you're in pain. But that nickname is way too clunky and I've seen you use it in like 10 threads. It just doesn't flow and it barely reminds the viewer of the person in question, since you've tweaked both parts.

Try Deshaun Cosby or Deshame Watson. Or, like the dude posting above, Deshaun Watstein. All are a vast improvement.

My condolences, again, on your franchise.


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-27 3:40:05 PM  

Rapmaster2000: [Fark user image image 850x478]
Ouch.  I'm surprised he fits in a 911.  They are not big cars inside.


At least he was driving a real Porsche, not a Cayenne, Panamera or Taycan.

/Poor 911 Turbo
 
2022-09-27 5:04:27 PM  

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: ltdanman44: from the skid marks, it looks like he was speeding

What kind of loser buys a Porsche so they can drive the speed limit?


same people who buy a BMW and then use the turn signals...
 
2022-09-27 6:35:21 PM  

question_dj: Troy McClure: He said he swerved to avoid an animal in the road and lost control when overcorrecting.

If that happened, then he definitely had all the driver aids disabled


Why do you say that?
 
2022-09-27 10:52:20 PM  

Troy McClure: question_dj: Troy McClure: He said he swerved to avoid an animal in the road and lost control when overcorrecting.

If that happened, then he definitely had all the driver aids disabled

Why do you say that?


Porsche has excellent driver aids that would prevent the bulk of that from happening. Most shiat like this happens because someone thinks they need to be in track mode on the street. Track mode turns off things like traction control, abs, changes the way the suspension handles, the throttle mapping, and the engine mapping. Also a solid chance he shelled out extra money for carbon brakes, which only work when they're warm.

Removal of driver aids exposes the lack of skill most supercar owners have. With them on, a blip of the throttle with steering input is probably fine. With them off? Not so much.
 
2022-09-28 12:14:37 AM  

question_dj: Troy McClure: question_dj: Troy McClure: He said he swerved to avoid an animal in the road and lost control when overcorrecting.

If that happened, then he definitely had all the driver aids disabled

Why do you say that?

Porsche has excellent driver aids that would prevent the bulk of that from happening. Most shiat like this happens because someone thinks they need to be in track mode on the street. Track mode turns off things like traction control, abs, changes the way the suspension handles, the throttle mapping, and the engine mapping. Also a solid chance he shelled out extra money for carbon brakes, which only work when they're warm.

Removal of driver aids exposes the lack of skill most supercar owners have. With them on, a blip of the throttle with steering input is probably fine. With them off? Not so much.


The supercar market exists because of a) people dedicated to the extremes of engineering, or b) people with too much money?
Expensive Supercars Fails 2022
Youtube CshPJIScYto

Bonus: annoying commentary
 
2022-09-28 3:47:09 PM  
She was buffing the shifter and it popped out a gear.
 
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