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(Yahoo)   Nothing says military victory quite like having your troops call an enemy hot-line to ask how to surrender. Fark: calls not limited to people already in the field   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Andrii Yusov, Russian language, Russian Empire, Ukrainians, only men  
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5538 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 27 Sep 2022 at 2:35 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-09-26 9:43:24 PM  
Someone should come up with a jingle for their hotline number sung in Russian to the tune of 800 Cars 4 Kids
 
2022-09-26 9:54:18 PM  
Cross the border. About face.
Walk backwards, guns fixed to the border.
When you are tapped on the shoulder, drop the weapon, and strip.
You get sweats, a potatoe, and you walk to the next post and snack on the spud, if you are hungry.
You will be trained for the Moscow march
 
2022-09-26 10:28:58 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: Someone should come up with a jingle for their hotline number sung in Russian to the tune of 800 Cars 4 Kids


Now why you want to start doing war crimes?
 
2022-09-26 10:50:32 PM  

vudukungfu: Cross the border. About face.
Walk backwards, guns fixed to the border.
When you are tapped on the shoulder, drop the weapon, and strip.
You get sweats, a potatoe, and you walk to the next post and snack on the spud, if you are hungry.
You will be trained for the Moscow march


Mr Quayle?
 
2022-09-26 11:54:17 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: Someone should come up with a jingle for their hotline number sung in Russian to the tune of 800 Cars 4 Kids


EIGHT HUNDRED
FIVE EIGHT EIGHT
TWO THREE HUNDRED

EMPIIIIRE
Of Russia no longer applicable
 
2022-09-27 12:31:52 AM  
War isn't funny. Until it is.
 
2022-09-27 2:40:32 AM  

The Exit Stencilist: Someone should come up with a jingle for their hotline number sung in Russian to the tune of 800 Cars 4 Kids


The IT Crowd Emergency #
Youtube qfWO5Kkzv74
 
2022-09-27 2:40:43 AM  
The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.
 
2022-09-27 2:42:25 AM  
Russian occupation authorities have said that they were planning to form "voluntary" battalions in the occupied territories in southern Ukraine. At the same time, however, Putin and other Russian officials are fearful of arming residents of the occupied territories of Ukraine.

This just now occurred to them? There aren't enough LOLs on the entire internet to describe their predicament.
 
2022-09-27 2:43:57 AM  
Victory?
 
2022-09-27 2:45:45 AM  

freitasm: Victory?


Forget it. He's rolling.
 
2022-09-27 2:46:28 AM  
Yeah, one day when the war is over these people are not going to be very welcome back in Russia.  They'll probably have to wait until Putin dies to go back home.
 
2022-09-27 2:47:09 AM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.


Because obviously they had the choice to protest without winding up in a siberian gulag for the rest of their short life. fark off you entitled jackass, everyone in russia knows damn well that you either step in line or vanish, there are no other options
 
2022-09-27 2:48:14 AM  
This isn't some liberal riff-raff, these are our people and I refuse to be silent about it." Continuing with the same theme, Simonyan cautioned: "Comrade Commanders, this is not the time for this... don't anger the people!"

Lol. now I see why they worship Tucker Carlson and the like.
 
2022-09-27 2:51:54 AM  
It's simple, shoot your officers, then shoot anyone trying to prevent you from surrendering. It's the problem of giving guns to protesters.
 
2022-09-27 2:55:04 AM  

wildcardjack: It's simple, shoot your officers, then shoot anyone trying to prevent you from surrendering. It's the problem of giving guns to protesters.


Don't shoot the officers, then Russia might replace them with officers that don't suck at their jobs.
 
2022-09-27 2:56:29 AM  

Concrete Donkey: We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.

Because obviously they had the choice to protest without winding up in a siberian gulag for the rest of their short life. fark off you entitled jackass, everyone in russia knows damn well that you either step in line or vanish, there are no other options


FWIW, this is just what I've seen on TV and online. Zelensky has been clear about helping Ukrainians drafted in the occupied territories. Interviewed fighters are the ones opining about the Russian conscripts.

As an outside observer, I readily admit to my privileged perspective. However, how that makes me the bad guy, I'm not quite sure.
 
2022-09-27 2:58:03 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-27 2:58:51 AM  

Concrete Donkey: We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.

Because obviously they had the choice to protest without winding up in a siberian gulag for the rest of their short life. fark off you entitled jackass, everyone in russia knows damn well that you either step in line or vanish, there are no other options


Revolution has never been civil.
 
2022-09-27 3:03:13 AM  
"Yes, what is the best way to surrender?"

"First: what's your position?"

"32-A Ulitsa Maroseyka---"

/ home address
 
2022-09-27 3:03:15 AM  
One interesting this is that this is the first war where many of the combatants have social media presences.  It's trivial to pull up their accounts and check their post history on Ru-Fark or whatever, and then filter them by naughty/nice.
 
2022-09-27 3:03:32 AM  

Concrete Donkey: We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.

Because obviously they had the choice to protest without winding up in a siberian gulag for the rest of their short life. fark off you entitled jackass, everyone in russia knows damn well that you either step in line or vanish, there are no other options


That's only true up to a certain point.

Are these guys fragging their officers? Bringing heavy equipment with them? Offering to put on Ukrainian uniforms and fight against the Russians?

Or is it just a belly-roll "please don't kill me, I don't want to be here"?

At some point, saying gee, the Russians had to do what they were told or die isn't enough. They have a third option, and they're not taking it.
 
2022-09-27 3:05:40 AM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: Concrete Donkey: We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.

Because obviously they had the choice to protest without winding up in a siberian gulag for the rest of their short life. fark off you entitled jackass, everyone in russia knows damn well that you either step in line or vanish, there are no other options

FWIW, this is just what I've seen on TV and online. Zelensky has been clear about helping Ukrainians drafted in the occupied territories. Interviewed fighters are the ones opining about the Russian conscripts.

As an outside observer, I readily admit to my privileged perspective. However, how that makes me the bad guy, I'm not quite sure.


You're the bad guy because you're judging them as evil for not doing something that is not possible for many of them to do: stand up for strangers at the cost of their own lives and the lives of their families.
 
2022-09-27 3:08:47 AM  

NotARocketScientist: We Ate the Necco Wafers: Concrete Donkey: We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.

Because obviously they had the choice to protest without winding up in a siberian gulag for the rest of their short life. fark off you entitled jackass, everyone in russia knows damn well that you either step in line or vanish, there are no other options

FWIW, this is just what I've seen on TV and online. Zelensky has been clear about helping Ukrainians drafted in the occupied territories. Interviewed fighters are the ones opining about the Russian conscripts.

As an outside observer, I readily admit to my privileged perspective. However, how that makes me the bad guy, I'm not quite sure.

You're the bad guy because you're judging them as evil for not doing something that is not possible for many of them to do: stand up for strangers at the cost of their own lives and the lives of their families.


I judged them? Show me where I did anything like that.

Perhaps you think the Ukrainians who are making the statements are the bad guys. At least direct your anger at the right people.
 
2022-09-27 3:09:42 AM  
theseniorlist.comView Full Size

Help! I've (The Russian Empire) fallen and I can't get up.
 
2022-09-27 3:09:53 AM  

electricjebus: wildcardjack: It's simple, shoot your officers, then shoot anyone trying to prevent you from surrendering. It's the problem of giving guns to protesters.

Don't shoot the officers, then Russia might replace them with officers that don't suck at their jobs.


Not sure if serious.
Seriously, if they have run out of solders what is the chance they have a surplus of officers who are not also untrained and unmotivated.
 
2022-09-27 3:10:22 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-27 3:13:06 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Concrete Donkey: We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.

Because obviously they had the choice to protest without winding up in a siberian gulag for the rest of their short life. fark off you entitled jackass, everyone in russia knows damn well that you either step in line or vanish, there are no other options

That's only true up to a certain point.

Are these guys fragging their officers? Bringing heavy equipment with them? Offering to put on Ukrainian uniforms and fight against the Russians?

Or is it just a belly-roll "please don't kill me, I don't want to be here"?

At some point, saying gee, the Russians had to do what they were told or die isn't enough. They have a third option, and they're not taking it.


Like how Americans stepped up against the highly unpopular Iraq war?
 
2022-09-27 3:16:11 AM  

darkone: electricjebus: wildcardjack: It's simple, shoot your officers, then shoot anyone trying to prevent you from surrendering. It's the problem of giving guns to protesters.

Don't shoot the officers, then Russia might replace them with officers that don't suck at their jobs.

Not sure if serious.
Seriously, if they have run out of solders what is the chance they have a surplus of officers who are not also untrained and unmotivated.


I wasn't being serious.  Anything that helps Ukraine is good and dead Russian officers helps Ukraine.  But man they do suck.  It's hard to believe that earlier this year we considered Russia a military power but it turns out they're basically a paper tiger... again.
 
2022-09-27 3:17:16 AM  

electricjebus: wildcardjack: It's simple, shoot your officers, then shoot anyone trying to prevent you from surrendering. It's the problem of giving guns to protesters.

Don't shoot the officers, then Russia might replace them with officers that don't suck at their jobs.


I'm pretty sure all of them are dead already.
 
2022-09-27 3:17:55 AM  

leeksfromchichis: Gyrfalcon: Concrete Donkey: We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.

Because obviously they had the choice to protest without winding up in a siberian gulag for the rest of their short life. fark off you entitled jackass, everyone in russia knows damn well that you either step in line or vanish, there are no other options

That's only true up to a certain point.

Are these guys fragging their officers? Bringing heavy equipment with them? Offering to put on Ukrainian uniforms and fight against the Russians?

Or is it just a belly-roll "please don't kill me, I don't want to be here"?

At some point, saying gee, the Russians had to do what they were told or die isn't enough. They have a third option, and they're not taking it.

Like how Americans stepped up against the highly unpopular Iraq war?


Wait - you think what happened with Iraq is comparable with what Russia is doing to Ukraine? That sure is an interesting and hot take.
 
2022-09-27 3:18:17 AM  
At this point, I'm wondering if Putin's plan is not to take a hit on Ukraine's resources by overwhelming them with prisonners of war.

A POW requires far more resource than a dead ennemy.
 
2022-09-27 3:18:40 AM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: The Ukrainian representatives I've seen on TV have not been especially welcoming of these conscripts. While there may be some sympathy and acceptance of conscripted Ukrainians in the disputed territories, the general attitude towards Russians who are just now finding religion is not so kind.

"Meat for the grinder" and "welcome to Hell" are two statements that stand out.

Standing by and letting the government carry on this illegal war for months has marked these conscripts as only interested in their own lives. Maybe the Ukrainian government will treat them well as prisoners of war, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards so far.


Does the Geneva convention apply here, maybe it should but will either side care.

Regardless the universal way to surrender is a white flag. Perhaps a mass air drop of white flags could be disruptive to troop moral and movement.
 
2022-09-27 3:26:17 AM  
This may be the first time an army is destroyed by a mass mobilization... The US had the draft in Vietnam and it permanently scarred the country, this is 100x worse. And a lot of the Rosgvardiya is already in Ukraine so there are fewer of them around to tamp down internal strife.

Putin is trying to go full Stalin but I don't know that he actually can.
 
2022-09-27 3:27:12 AM  

leeksfromchichis: Like how Americans stepped up against the highly unpopular Iraq war?


Arguably, anyone who either directly supported the war or tacitly, through inaction and silence, supported the war is liable for the continuation of the Iraq war.

We live in a democracy, and while we may individually differ on any given point, the majority will is determined by our votes (or the SCOTUS in 2000). As such, through the democratic process, we are all responsible for the choices our government makes, even if it may act against our individual desires.

The natural reaction to this is refusal, and that's a double-edged sword. While on the one hand refusal to acquiesce to the will of the majority can be seen as heroic and as acting as a stalwart for what is right, on the other hand it is a bitter pill to swallow that the decision of the majority will define the laws and direction of the country for the next several years.

This realization is part of what's rending this nation apart. If we were closer together on the issues, we might be more amenable to opposition rule, but the opposition holds views and supports policies which are terribly incongruous with the peaceful coexistence of our fellow citizens. I'm not sure where we go from here, but democracy doesn't seem like it is really viable in such a torn culture.
 
2022-09-27 3:28:27 AM  

padraig: At this point, I'm wondering if Putin's plan is not to take a hit on Ukraine's resources by overwhelming them with prisonners of war.

A POW requires far more resource than a dead ennemy.


At this point I don't think Putin has a plan.  He thought he was just going to wade on into Ukraine and they were all going to surrender to his obviously superior military.
 
2022-09-27 3:28:57 AM  

padraig: At this point, I'm wondering if Putin's plan is not to take a hit on Ukraine's resources by overwhelming them with prisonners of war.

A POW requires far more resource than a dead ennemy.


Maybe the Ukrainians can ship them to Florida. DeSantis has been jacking off to his "mass migration" fantasies long enough. So let's ship in 300k Russian dirt farmers into Boca Raton and Tampa Bay

And who knows, with so many Miami based Russian strip club owners wearing the gold chain in Slavic style and always looking for low rent doormen, DJs and dishwashers, they might actually pull a coup if DeSantis so much as thinks about bussing them out to liberal enclaves
 
2022-09-27 3:29:47 AM  
White flags don't work anymore?
 
2022-09-27 3:35:05 AM  

KodosZardoz: White flags don't work anymore?


Not always, it's better to just not even be on the battle field and quietly turn yourself in.  The other problem with a white flag is your own troops/officer might shoot you.
 
2022-09-27 3:39:47 AM  

vudukungfu: Cross the border. About face.
Walk backwards, guns fixed to the border.
When you are tapped on the shoulder, drop the weapon, and strip.
You get sweats, a potatoe, and you walk to the next post and snack on the spud, if you are hungry.
You will be trained for the Moscow march


Potatoe? That's an oldy.
 
2022-09-27 3:47:57 AM  
I press #2 for the free toaster but i really wanted #3 for the electric heating pad and a reusable cold compress. Should i surrender again?
 
2022-09-27 3:49:05 AM  

electricjebus: KodosZardoz: White flags don't work anymore?

Not always, it's better to just not even be on the battle field and quietly turn yourself in.  The other problem with a white flag is your own troops/officer might shoot you.


Sorry, I was being sarcastic. I keep forgetting to put the /s in after comments like that.
 
2022-09-27 3:57:05 AM  

nakmuay: [Fark user image image 500x1124]


Sacre bleu killed me.
 
2022-09-27 3:58:47 AM  
Who's going over to help rebuild? I have the will. Is there a channel to do this?

I snark hard but no snark here.
 
2022-09-27 4:00:27 AM  

KodosZardoz: electricjebus: KodosZardoz: White flags don't work anymore?

Not always, it's better to just not even be on the battle field and quietly turn yourself in.  The other problem with a white flag is your own troops/officer might shoot you.

Sorry, I was being sarcastic. I keep forgetting to put the /s in after comments like that.


It's alright, I'm drinking so my sarcasm meter is only operating at 50%.
 
2022-09-27 4:05:51 AM  
FTFA: "Russian occupation authorities have said that they were planning to form "voluntary" battalions in the occupied territories in southern Ukraine. At the same time, however, Putin and other Russian officials are fearful of arming residents of the occupied territories of Ukraine."

Oh what a tangled web we weave. Seems like Russia has exercised all options already and are now trying to squeeze blood from turnips.
 
2022-09-27 4:09:31 AM  

The Exit Stencilist: Someone should come up with a jingle for their hotline number sung in Russian to the tune of 800 Cars 4 Kids


That ear worm will cause all military personnel to surrender unconditionally.
 
2022-09-27 4:28:41 AM  

stringbad: nakmuay: [Fark user image image 500x1124]

Sacre bleu killed me.


savoir faire is everywhere!
 
2022-09-27 4:33:27 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: One interesting this is that this is the first war where many of the combatants have social media presences.  It's trivial to pull up their accounts and check their post history on Ru-Fark or whatever, and then filter them by naughty/nice.


"Smash that like/subscribe button for more updates on the location of my officers!"
 
2022-09-27 5:20:50 AM  

vudukungfu: Cross the border. About face.
Walk backwards, guns fixed to the border.
When you are tapped on the shoulder, drop the weapon, and strip.
You get sweats, a potatoe, and you walk to the next post and snack on the spud, if you are hungry.
You will be trained for the Moscow march


Dan Quayle?  Is that you?
 
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