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(CNN)   Happy New Year, Jewish Farkers -- share the recipes that you're using tonight to the right   (edition.cnn.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Jewish people, name Rosh Hashanah, Shofar, earliest mention of Rosh Hashanah, Judaism, blowing of a traditional horn  
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986 clicks; posted to Main » and Food » on 25 Sep 2022 at 12:26 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



76 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-09-25 10:11:08 AM  
Shanah tova from Tel Aviv, everyone!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-25 10:21:43 AM  
Chag Sameach and L'shana Tova Tikateyvu, Farkers!
 
2022-09-25 12:29:50 PM  
Challah:

-- 1/2 lb Loaf:
2 large Eggs (best if at room temperature) in loaf and 1 egg for glaze
⅝ cup Water; tepid
1 ½ tablespoon Oil; corn OR other bland oil. margarine also works
½ teaspoon Salt
4 ½ tablespoon Sugar (you can replace 1 or 2 tbs with
about 1.5 to 2.5 of honey for better loaf)
3 cup Bread flour
2 ¼ teaspoon Yeast; Rapid-Rise
 
2022-09-25 12:31:13 PM  
The old ways are the best.

colbertnation.mtvnimages.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-25 12:33:49 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: The old ways are the best.

[colbertnation.mtvnimages.com image 850x478]


TRADITION
 
2022-09-25 12:38:52 PM  
I'm making 5,783 cupcakes. Only 5,776 to go.
 
2022-09-25 12:40:43 PM  
I'm ordering Chinese
 
2022-09-25 12:45:21 PM  

bostonguy: Shanah tova from Tel Aviv, everyone!


The only thin butt in that pic is the dog.
 
2022-09-25 12:45:32 PM  
Happy New Year to my fellow Jews as I celebrate in our space laser (the best latke's are made up here!)

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-25 12:46:36 PM  
1. Take one spouse and kids
2. Place in car
3. Go to parents' house
4. Serves whatever they made for you

/Thanks mom & dad!
 
2022-09-25 12:56:03 PM  
Hebrew National hot dogs
 
2022-09-25 12:56:40 PM  
Happy New Year, enjoy
 
2022-09-25 12:58:36 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-25 1:04:44 PM  
1) Go to pantry.
2) Look for jar of gefilte fish
3) Curse I forgot to buy horse radish
4) Eat
 
2022-09-25 1:10:27 PM  
Gentile here.

The few Jews I've ever met have been amazing people. Just downright good. Nearly married one but we weren't compatible unfortunately.

I would kill a man who hates a Jew.
 
2022-09-25 1:18:23 PM  
There was a chrain shortage in Madrid.
So El-Al flies a load over.
The airport runways are flooded, so the chrain in Spain stays mainly on the plane
 
2022-09-25 1:18:48 PM  
On long flights I order the Kosher meal. Better quality.
 
2022-09-25 1:21:42 PM  

johnphantom: On long flights I order the Kosher meal. Better quality.


And people who order special meals get served first too.
 
2022-09-25 1:23:25 PM  
Crap, I forgot it's Rosh Hashanah. I'm a terrible jew.

*Checks fridge*

I guess the pork and oysters are right out. Well, at least I've got an onion.
 
2022-09-25 1:29:59 PM  
Apple pie!
1. Go to Costco.
2. Buy an Apple pie.
 
2022-09-25 1:34:42 PM  
I took advantage of the brisket my local grocery store had on sale

mmmm, smoked brisket

/i'm not jewish
 
2022-09-25 1:39:41 PM  
I've got matzo balls to make.
No recipe here since i just follow the box.
 
2022-09-25 1:47:47 PM  
At some point I'll put brisket in the slow cooker. But not tonight.

/how do ya like them apples, and honey?
 
2022-09-25 1:51:25 PM  

Valter: Gentile here.

The few Jews I've ever met have been amazing people. Just downright good. Nearly married one but we weren't compatible unfortunately.

I would kill a man who hates a Jew.


Try some apples dipped in honey Francis.
 
2022-09-25 1:59:00 PM  

Number 216: Happy New Year to my fellow Jews as I celebrate in our space laser (the best latke's are made up here!)

[Fark user image 220x2

Ethertap: Crap, I forgot it's Rosh Hashanah. I'm a terrible jew.

*Checks fridge*

I guess the pork and oysters are right out. Well, at least I've got an onion.


All you need is a potato and an egg and you have latkes!
 
2022-09-25 2:16:01 PM  

Valter: Gentile here.

The few Jews I've ever met have been amazing people. Just downright good. Nearly married one but we weren't compatible unfortunately.

I would kill a man who hates a Jew.


Well, that escalated quickly.
 
2022-09-25 2:16:40 PM  

Valter: Gentile here.

The few Jews I've ever met have been amazing people. Just downright good. Nearly married one but we weren't compatible unfortunately.

I would kill a man who hates a Jew.


I see you've never encountered orthodox jews.  Buncha fundamentalist assholes.

/married a jew.
//jewishness is fine, better than the goddamn christians.
///there's some annoying cultural stuff though.
 
2022-09-25 2:17:01 PM  

damageddude: 1) Go to pantry.
2) Look for jar of gefilte fish
3) Curse I forgot to buy horse radish
4) Eat


I thought it was lutefisk?
 
2022-09-25 2:20:01 PM  

bostonguy: Shanah tova from Tel Aviv, everyone!

[Fark user image image 850x637]


Name doesn't check?
 
2022-09-25 2:22:11 PM  

Number 216: Happy New Year to my fellow Jews as I celebrate in our space laser (the best latke's are made up here!)

[Fark user image image 220x211]


Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.
 
2022-09-25 2:23:53 PM  

NINEv2: Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.


I'll give you a dollar (shekel?) if you change it to FBI.
 
2022-09-25 2:25:07 PM  

NINEv2: bostonguy: Shanah tova from Tel Aviv, everyone!

[Fark user image image 850x637]

Name doesn't check?


Profile: Half-American, half-Israeli guy in Tel Aviv and working in journalism and marketing. User name comes from living in Boston -- which is when I joined Fark.
 
2022-09-25 2:35:37 PM  
Great grandmother converted to Judaism. Thought after the birth of my grandmother, so I don't think the hereditary aspect works that way to consider my father part Jew.

Still, having some Jewishness in the ancestral line did inoculate me against a lot of racist rhetoric.

Hope everyone enjoys themselves, and each other's company tonight. Wishing you all the best.
 
2022-09-25 2:38:05 PM  
I'm doing something non-traditional this year. Most people make brisket, but I suck at making brisket. So I'm roasting up some chicken drumsticks to have with mashed potatoes and Pinto beans. Yes, a very festive meal!

Of course, I will have some apples and honey on the side.
 
2022-09-25 2:41:18 PM  

bostonguy: NINEv2: bostonguy: Shanah tova from Tel Aviv, everyone!

[Fark user image image 850x637]

Name doesn't check?

Profile: Half-American, half-Israeli guy in Tel Aviv and working in journalism and marketing. User name comes from living in Boston -- which is when I joined Fark.


Do we need to adjust for a Boston accent?

Shaner Tover?
 
2022-09-25 2:42:02 PM  

DuneClimber: Most people make brisket, but I suck at making brisket. So I'm roasting up some chicken drumsticks


Fark user imageView Full Size


/ kidding
 
2022-09-25 2:42:54 PM  

Valter: The few Jews I've ever met have been amazing people. Just downright good. Nearly married one but we weren't compatible unfortunately.


You over-shared and therefore piqued my curiosity: was that a square peg/round hole problem or was it the other way around?

/ sorry, I have a weird mind...
// and then, fark it - it is Fark after all
 
2022-09-25 2:43:19 PM  

whither_apophis: Do we need to adjust for a Boston accent?

Shaner Tover?


Fark user imageView Full Size


/ yes
 
2022-09-25 2:45:25 PM  
I plan on feeling extra guilty.
 
2022-09-25 2:52:52 PM  

NINEv2: Number 216: Happy New Year to my fellow Jews as I celebrate in our space laser (the best latke's are made up here!)

[Fark user image image 220x211]

Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.


Could also go with

BIDENISYOURPRESIDENT

to super fark with them 😁
 
2022-09-25 2:55:30 PM  
Happy Jew Year!
 
2022-09-25 2:58:46 PM  

bostonguy: NINEv2: Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.

I'll give you a dollar (shekel?) if you change it to FBI.


Nah, FBISURVVAN236...then just wait for the fun to begin.
 
2022-09-25 2:59:37 PM  

bostonguy: NINEv2: Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.

I'll give you a dollar (shekel?) if you change it to FBI.


I'll consider it. Not sure that "GOYLASERCOMMAND" would strike the same fear into that MAGAt. :)

/it'll be more like "hurrr you misspelled goya durrr"
 
2022-09-25 3:01:26 PM  

Number 216: NINEv2: Number 216: Happy New Year to my fellow Jews as I celebrate in our space laser (the best latke's are made up here!)

[Fark user image image 220x211]

Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.

Could also go with

BIDENISYOURPRESIDENT

to super fark with them 😁


Have to spell it phonetically though. Byeduhthtillyoplethidint
 
2022-09-25 3:03:07 PM  

NINEv2: Number 216: NINEv2: Number 216: Happy New Year to my fellow Jews as I celebrate in our space laser (the best latke's are made up here!)

[Fark user image image 220x211]

Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.

Could also go with

BIDENISYOURPRESIDENT

to super fark with them 😁

Have to spell it phonetically though. Byeduhthtillyoplethidint


Touché!
 
2022-09-25 3:23:35 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: damageddude: 1) Go to pantry.
2) Look for jar of gefilte fish
3) Curse I forgot to buy horse radish
4) Eat

I thought it was lutefisk?


Nope. First lutefisk recipie that said add bacon should have told you.
 
2022-09-25 3:26:43 PM  

NINEv2: Number 216: NINEv2: Number 216: Happy New Year to my fellow Jews as I celebrate in our space laser (the best latke's are made up here!)

[Fark user image image 220x211]

Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.

Could also go with

BIDENISYOURPRESIDENT

to super fark with them 😁

Have to spell it phonetically though. Byeduhthtillyoplethidint


Just thought since you wouldn't have to spell it out phonetically as it would be words your neighbors would comprehend

TRUMPLOST-BIGLY
 
2022-09-25 3:27:55 PM  

Number 216: NINEv2: Number 216: NINEv2: Number 216: Happy New Year to my fellow Jews as I celebrate in our space laser (the best latke's are made up here!)

[Fark user image image 220x211]

Our neighbor's home network is called TRUMPWON, so we're going to change ours to either KILLARYSEMAILS or SPACELASERCOMMAND.

Could also go with

BIDENISYOURPRESIDENT

to super fark with them 😁

Have to spell it phonetically though. Byeduhthtillyoplethidint

Just thought since you wouldn't have to spell it out phonetically as it would be words your neighbors would comprehend

TRUMPLOST-BIGLY


I think they speak fluent *fartnoise*
 
2022-09-25 3:32:06 PM  
I only eat things that ethnics eat on special occasions.
 
2022-09-25 3:37:26 PM  
Recipe? Get some Israeli whisky. Pour into a glass. Enjoy.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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