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(Some Guy)   This is your pilot speaking we won't be taking off today due to the whole crew getting conscripted   (simpleflying.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Vladimir Putin, Russia, Russian airlines, Conscription, Russian aviation employees, Russian newspaper Kommersant, flag carrier Aeroflot, Prime Minister of Russia  
•       •       •

6018 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 25 Sep 2022 at 12:38 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



90 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-09-25 12:05:43 PM  
Russia is acting like it rally is WWIII
 
2022-09-25 12:17:37 PM  
I read that last word in the headline as "constipated", and it entirely changed the meaning. Made just as much sense, too. LOL
 
2022-09-25 12:23:43 PM  
"Comrades! Here are your conscription orders!"
"Why, thank you, comrade! We'll be sure to report forthwith."
"Thank you!"
*Kommisar leaves the plane,*
"What do we do now, Dimitri?"
"Runways are clear. Full throttle, Vasiliy"
 
2022-09-25 12:35:07 PM  

ms_lara_croft: I read that last word in the headline as "constipated", and it entirely changed the meaning. Made just as much sense, too. LOL


I did too the first time I read that headline.
 
2022-09-25 12:40:50 PM  
They should take a laxative then. Oh...
 
2022-09-25 12:42:36 PM  
That 300,000 number seems to be just maybe a lie.

But I'm guessing that soon there will be a law in Russia, that you can not add up numbers of people being conscripted.
 
2022-09-25 12:44:25 PM  
I don't know how portion resists the urge to use nukes when he run out of people and conventional weaponry. He's not the type to lose.  Plus, he has a bunker he can go to if he doesn't feel like going to that good night himself right away.
 
2022-09-25 12:44:26 PM  

edmo: Russia is acting like it rally is WWIII


Technically "Everyone else v. Russia" would count.

I doubt it's what they had in mind, but you reap what you cliché.
 
2022-09-25 12:45:48 PM  

Nirbo: edmo: Russia is acting like it rally is WWIII

Technically "Everyone else v. Russia" would count.

I doubt it's what they had in mind, but you reap what you cliché.


Russia will have some allies. China perhaps. Belarus, Serbia, Syria, North Korea, Turkey perhaps would flip.
 
2022-09-25 12:47:36 PM  

king of vegas: Nirbo: edmo: Russia is acting like it rally is WWIII

Technically "Everyone else v. Russia" would count.

I doubt it's what they had in mind, but you reap what you cliché.

Russia will have some allies. China perhaps. Belarus, Serbia, Syria, North Korea, Turkey perhaps would flip.


China has already closed their wallet and I wouldn't count on the others on a pinch.

They might as well have Italy as an ally.
 
2022-09-25 12:49:52 PM  
Even their conscription process is bizarre..Are they even making any considerations for the
essential services they need on the home front at all? Are they just grabbing all the employees
off the line of companies that make something to the point that they are cutting
their own supply of certain things they might rely on?? It's not like Russians have a real great track
record of logistics and planning. Their own incompetence at getting ample crops from farms to processes
led to multiple famines in the past..It would NOT surprise me at all if they took all the men from some
factory that makes something vital like steel cans, and sent them off..And they had no women trained
who could run the machines or fix them..And they ran out of cans because of it..That's the level of
incompetence they seem to have..
 
2022-09-25 12:51:05 PM  
Let's fast-forward to the part where the Russians gaddafi Putin.

/the sanctions will continue until you hold a free and fair election.
//a man can dream
 
2022-09-25 12:52:30 PM  
Hearing  that this was happening, the minute I landed somewhere that's not Russia, I'd get off the plane and never go back.
 
2022-09-25 12:53:55 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Even their conscription process is bizarre..Are they even making any considerations for the
essential services they need on the home front at all? Are they just grabbing all the employees
off the line of companies that make something to the point that they are cutting
their own supply of certain things they might rely on?? It's not like Russians have a real great track
record of logistics and planning. Their own incompetence at getting ample crops from farms to processes
led to multiple famines in the past..It would NOT surprise me at all if they took all the men from some
factory that makes something vital like steel cans, and sent them off..And they had no women trained
who could run the machines or fix them..And they ran out of cans because of it..That's the level of
incompetence they seem to have..


It's only a 3 day war. You're overthinking it.
 
2022-09-25 12:55:17 PM  
Putin's Vietnam is going as planned i see.
 
2022-09-25 12:56:56 PM  

Black_Lazerus: Putin's Vietnam is going as planned i see.


Technically it's his Afghanistan. He's Russian not French or American.
 
2022-09-25 12:56:57 PM  

jjorsett: Hearing  that this was happening, the minute I landed somewhere that's not Russia, I'd get off the plane and never go back.


Yeah, if they let any of those pilots and crews fly internationally after receiving their conscription notice, they're just begging for them to defect.
 
2022-09-25 12:57:01 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Even their conscription process is bizarre..Are they even making any considerations for the
essential services they need on the home front at all?


From what I've read, Putin made mention of certain exemptions in his speech, but the actual order is silent about them so authorities are just filling their quotas with whoever they can scrape up.
 
2022-09-25 12:57:26 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: That 300,000 number seems to be just maybe a lie.

But I'm guessing that soon there will be a law in Russia, that you can not add up numbers of people being conscripted.


It's Russia - not Florida.

Nah, they'll just continue to make up numbers that aren't even remotely accurate and downplay any causalities.
 
2022-09-25 1:01:33 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Even their conscription process is bizarre..Are they even making any considerations for the
essential services they need on the home front at all? Are they just grabbing all the employees
off the line of companies that make something to the point that they are cutting
their own supply of certain things they might rely on?? It's not like Russians have a real great track
record of logistics and planning. Their own incompetence at getting ample crops from farms to processes
led to multiple famines in the past..It would NOT surprise me at all if they took all the men from some
factory that makes something vital like steel cans, and sent them off..And they had no women trained
who could run the machines or fix them..And they ran out of cans because of it..That's the level of
incompetence they seem to have..


Russian standard for conscripts are: male, breathing, not from an oligarch's family. If you meet those criteria, report to your closest conscription office to fill out your last will and testament, and to pick up your rusted AK-47 and "armor", which is made of shredded newspaper and cardboard.
 
2022-09-25 1:04:51 PM  
I'm ok with stopping the flood of Russians "fleeing" so they can't just declare new regions of Russia to be defended
 
2022-09-25 1:05:31 PM  
Why wouldn't they just fly away? Damn, millennials, wait damn zooms.
 
2022-09-25 1:08:11 PM  
This makes me think of the workers conscripted into cleaning up and securing Chernobyl after the '86 disaster. Political officers showing up at the coal mines and telling the pit bosses "you and your miners come with us or we start executing you"
 
2022-09-25 1:17:58 PM  
They've struggled to feed and supply what troops are already there. It would not surprise me to find a thousand "soldiers" arrive to find nothing to eat or coats to wear beyond what they brought with them.
 
2022-09-25 1:18:34 PM  

king of vegas: Nirbo: edmo: Russia is acting like it rally is WWIII

Technically "Everyone else v. Russia" would count.

I doubt it's what they had in mind, but you reap what you cliché.

Russia will have some allies. China perhaps. Belarus, Serbia, Syria, North Korea, Turkey perhaps would flip.


No one wants Russia's friendship enough to get dragged into Russia's war, especially if it goes nuclear.  Hell half the reason North Korea sold Russia all those artillery shells was because this war made them realize that they are never gonna be able to invade South Korea, and therefore they need cash more than explosives.
 
2022-09-25 1:21:13 PM  

Intrepid00: Black_Lazerus: Putin's Vietnam is going as planned i see.

Technically it's his Afghanistan. He's Russian not French or American.


Well he seems to be speed running the Vietnam casualty count.
 
2022-09-25 1:21:19 PM  
God, they're so farked.  Good.
 
2022-09-25 1:27:01 PM  
Notice how none of Putin's goon squad is being called up?
 
2022-09-25 1:27:48 PM  
It may be intentional, Russia needs soldiers and many people are fleeing so by taking from airlines and mass transit they get bodies and reduce the number of ways the next wave can exit the country.
 
2022-09-25 1:30:25 PM  
Russian pilot thread?

oblig
The Vodka Burner
Youtube ZyvY2GK9B3M
 
2022-09-25 1:30:40 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-25 1:31:49 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Even their conscription process is bizarre..Are they even making any considerations for the
essential services they need on the home front at all? Are they just grabbing all the employees off the line of companies that make something to the point that they are cutting their own supply of certain things they might rely on??


Bankers, hackers and propagandists.

Russia excludes some IT professionals, bankers and journalists from mobilisation
 
2022-09-25 1:32:56 PM  

Intrepid00: Black_Lazerus: Putin's Vietnam is going as planned i see.

Technically it's his Afghanistan. He's Russian not French or American.


I was going with the corollary of drafting people that did not want to be drafted as opposed to the collapse of the former Soviet Union.
 
2022-09-25 1:33:14 PM  
"Several airlines and airports have already compiled lists of employees they believe are exempt from military conscription. However, there is considerable confusion about the process, as airline lawyers are unsure where to send their exemption lists.

"So far, carriers have sent off their lists to either the Ministry of Transport, the Ministry of Defense or regional authorities. Since airlines hire staff from different regions, it is also unclear which military registration and enlistment office to contact."


That's the kind of professionalism we've come to expect from Russia.
 
2022-09-25 1:33:15 PM  

ctighe2353: It may be intentional, Russia needs soldiers and many people are fleeing so by taking from airlines and mass transit they get bodies and reduce the number of ways the next wave can exit the country.


Russian airlines are on borrowed time anyhow, given the embargoes on parts and support for western built equipment. That'll make the crews much less necessary as time goes on.
 
2022-09-25 1:34:04 PM  

Unobtanium: "Comrades! Here are your conscription orders!"
"Why, thank you, comrade! We'll be sure to report forthwith."
"Thank you!"
*Kommisar leaves the plane,*
"What do we do now, Dimitri?"
"Runways are clear. Full throttle, Vasiliy"


"Dimitri - the orders say to head west to Ukraine, we seem to be headed south to Africa."
"Vasiliy, we are taking a shortcut."
 
2022-09-25 1:34:36 PM  

Saturn5: jjorsett: Hearing  that this was happening, the minute I landed somewhere that's not Russia, I'd get off the plane and never go back.

Yeah, if they let any of those pilots and crews fly internationally after receiving their conscription notice, they're just begging for them to defect.


And they take the plane with them too.
 
2022-09-25 1:36:57 PM  
Woo, Ukraine is getting free planes too.
 
2022-09-25 1:37:42 PM  

king of vegas: I don't know how portion resists the urge to use nukes when he run out of people and conventional weaponry. He's not the type to lose.  Plus, he has a bunker he can go to if he doesn't feel like going to that good night himself right away.


I curse your autocorrect.
 
2022-09-25 1:39:23 PM  
This is what happens when you believe your own lies about how awesome things are in spite 20 years of neglect and kleptocracy.

Sadly, they are committed now.  I feel regime change is the only way out for a peaceful end and Ukraine keeping sovereignty over their rightful territory.

The Ukrainian Ulcer will slowly bleed the life out of Putin.
 
2022-09-25 1:42:44 PM  

Russ1642: Saturn5: jjorsett: Hearing  that this was happening, the minute I landed somewhere that's not Russia, I'd get off the plane and never go back.

Yeah, if they let any of those pilots and crews fly internationally after receiving their conscription notice, they're just begging for them to defect.

And they take the plane with them too.


An aircraft without the maintenance logs is scrap metal.
 
2022-09-25 1:48:04 PM  

jjorsett: Mr. Shabooboo: Even their conscription process is bizarre..Are they even making any considerations for the
essential services they need on the home front at all?

From what I've read, Putin made mention of certain exemptions in his speech, but the actual order is silent about them so authorities are just filling their quotas with whoever they can scrape up.


What is the mood in the Russian troll factories?
Are they worried about being conscripted, or do they feel safe?
 
2022-09-25 1:50:26 PM  

ms_lara_croft: I read that last word in the headline as "constipated", and it entirely changed the meaning. Made just as much sense, too. LOL


I also read it that way lol
 
Kiz
2022-09-25 1:54:34 PM  

king of vegas: I don't know how portion resists the urge to use nukes when he run out of people and conventional weaponry. He's not the type to lose.  Plus, he has a bunker he can go to if he doesn't feel like going to that good night himself right away.


if Putin starts filling a giant underground vault with sycophants and super models, then it's really time to worry.
 
2022-09-25 1:55:09 PM  

ChiliBoots: Russ1642: Saturn5: jjorsett: Hearing  that this was happening, the minute I landed somewhere that's not Russia, I'd get off the plane and never go back.

Yeah, if they let any of those pilots and crews fly internationally after receiving their conscription notice, they're just begging for them to defect.

And they take the plane with them too.

An aircraft without the maintenance logs is scrap metal.


In that case, melt it down and turn it into weapons and ammo for the Ukrainian army. The airline's crew doesn't give a rat's ass as they're not going back to Russia.
 
2022-09-25 1:55:43 PM  
A-list
Iconic
Mega-yacht
Supermodel

...superpower
 
2022-09-25 2:13:34 PM  

Snort: This is what happens when you believe your own lies about how awesome things are in spite 20 years of neglect and kleptocracy.

Sadly, they are committed now.  I feel regime change is the only way out for a peaceful end and Ukraine keeping sovereignty over their rightful territory.

The Ukrainian Ulcer will slowly bleed the life out of Putin.


The Russian state is basically failed and run by people no different than these fine fellas:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-25 2:13:39 PM  

ChiliBoots: Russ1642: Saturn5: jjorsett: Hearing  that this was happening, the minute I landed somewhere that's not Russia, I'd get off the plane and never go back.

Yeah, if they let any of those pilots and crews fly internationally after receiving their conscription notice, they're just begging for them to defect.

And they take the plane with them too.

An aircraft without the maintenance logs is scrap metal.


A Russian plane by now is likely scrap metal anyway.  But land in the right place and they will be stripped for parts that somehow find their way to the open market.  Good bet the same happened to MH370 (CNN's white whale of a missing plane).

If the crew can't get it up and out of Russia, that's one way for Putin to deal with the lack of spare parts from the West.  He can get them to trickle in over the black market and get them "Russian flightworthy" without racking up too many hours on them.
 
2022-09-25 2:20:57 PM  
Its not like anyone has a reason to leave Russia.
 
2022-09-25 2:26:13 PM  

yet_another_wumpus: ChiliBoots: Russ1642: Saturn5: jjorsett: Hearing  that this was happening, the minute I landed somewhere that's not Russia, I'd get off the plane and never go back.

Yeah, if they let any of those pilots and crews fly internationally after receiving their conscription notice, they're just begging for them to defect.

And they take the plane with them too.

An aircraft without the maintenance logs is scrap metal.

A Russian plane by now is likely scrap metal anyway.  But land in the right place and they will be stripped for parts that somehow find their way to the open market.Good bet the same happened to MH370 (CNN's white whale of a missing plane).

If the crew can't get it up and out of Russia, that's one way for Putin to deal with the lack of spare parts from the West.  He can get them to trickle in over the black market and get them "Russian flightworthy" without racking up too many hours on them.


Aeroflot HQ gets an e-mail from Ethiopia... "Please pick up your A-380 at Addis-Ababa Airport." .
It's been parked in the Red Zone for more than 30 minutes...
 
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