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(Metro)   Three years after theft of golden toilet, Metro reports police still have nothing to go on. I said, they have nothing to go on because it's a toilet... Hello? Is this thing on?   (metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Obvious, Theft, Crime, 38-year-old man, Robbery, Winston Churchill, 69-year-old man, Toilet, Burglary  
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1226 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2022 at 2:25 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



24 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-24 2:28:57 AM  
I would have thought Trump would have been Prime Suspect Individual 1 for such a crime.
 
2022-09-24 2:30:57 AM  

englaja: I would have thought Trump would have been Prime Suspect Individual 1 for such a crime.


His middle name is John, after all.
 
2022-09-24 2:50:47 AM  
Shiny
 
2022-09-24 2:52:09 AM  
Insurance scam. Someone spray painted a toilet.

I remember the first story in my C.M. Kornbluth collection was about a guy who went to steal a mail parcel from a jeweler, but instead of jewelry he found a lump of dry ice. He had stumbled on an insurance scam.
 
2022-09-24 3:03:05 AM  
Feces.
 
2022-09-24 3:06:17 AM  
Hmm - even discarding the typical overinflated estimate the sheer 18k gold value on the thing was $1,726,008 and 28 cents at the time they stole it.  Assuming bottom of the barrel rates of 25% from a fence that's still $431,502 and 6 cents.  Not bad really for a night's burglary

/or someone just really wanted one and commissioned the theft
 
2022-09-24 3:07:36 AM  

wildcardjack: Insurance scam. Someone spray painted a toilet.

I remember the first story in my C.M. Kornbluth collection was about a guy who went to steal a mail parcel from a jeweler, but instead of jewelry he found a lump of dry ice. He had stumbled on an insurance scam.


It was quite real, they invited a lot of art critics and such to come have a look, and even a few minutes of privacy to piss in it if they liked.  Some did - said it was unsurprisingly about the same as pissing in any other toilet
 
2022-09-24 3:17:34 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Hmm - even discarding the typical overinflated estimate the sheer 18k gold value on the thing was $1,726,008 and 28 cents at the time they stole it.  Assuming bottom of the barrel rates of 25% from a fence that's still $431,502 and 6 cents.  Not bad really for a night's burglary

/or someone just really wanted one and commissioned the theft


You just need the right connections...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-24 3:23:13 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Hmm - even discarding the typical overinflated estimate the sheer 18k gold value on the thing was $1,726,008 and 28 cents at the time they stole it.  Assuming bottom of the barrel rates of 25% from a fence that's still $431,502 and 6 cents.  Not bad really for a night's burglary

/or someone just really wanted one and commissioned the theft


Hey look I can't math either - just realized I was plugging in the weight as if it were porcelain and converting that to gold.  Oh well, it's late and I'm dumb :)
 
2022-09-24 3:26:50 AM  
They have nothing to "go" on?  Why not use a bucket?
 
2022-09-24 3:29:32 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Hmm - even discarding the typical overinflated estimate the sheer 18k gold value on the thing was $1,726,008 and 28 cents at the time they stole it.  Assuming bottom of the barrel rates of 25% from a fence that's still $431,502 and 6 cents.  Not bad really for a night's burglary

/or someone just really wanted one and commissioned the theft

Hey look I can't math either - just realized I was plugging in the weight as if it were porcelain and converting that to gold.  Oh well, it's late and I'm dumb :)


Where'd the extra 4 cents go, dirtbag?!!!
 
2022-09-24 3:37:58 AM  

DannyBrandt: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Hmm - even discarding the typical overinflated estimate the sheer 18k gold value on the thing was $1,726,008 and 28 cents at the time they stole it.  Assuming bottom of the barrel rates of 25% from a fence that's still $431,502 and 6 cents.  Not bad really for a night's burglary

/or someone just really wanted one and commissioned the theft

Hey look I can't math either - just realized I was plugging in the weight as if it were porcelain and converting that to gold.  Oh well, it's late and I'm dumb :)

Where'd the extra 4 cents go, dirtbag?!!!


4 cents was about what my calculations were worth there so...
 
2022-09-24 4:57:40 AM  
Is the ballcock ona  golden toilet still rubber? If you don't put rubber on your ballcock you probably can't get it up during the refractory period between flushes, and there'll be a constant dribble going.
 
2022-09-24 5:18:05 AM  
This thing was melt down into ingots les than a week after it was stolen.
 
2022-09-24 5:32:27 AM  
I bought a gold toilet once. Didn't work worth a damn. You know how embarrassing it is when you have a solid gold toilet, but when a dinner guest excuses themselves to use the bathroom, you have to make an announcement "hey, um, if you use the gold toilet? Yeah, gotta jiggle the handle on it. Just, after you flush, you just gotta kinda jiggle the handle. Thanks."
 
2022-09-24 6:13:34 AM  
Golden toilet? the drunken fool shat in my trombone!
 
2022-09-24 6:15:50 AM  
Ackshually, you SIT on a toilet. You go IN a toilet.
 
2022-09-24 6:21:20 AM  

theknuckler_33: Ackshually, you SIT on a toilet. You go IN a toilet.


Not applicable to public toilets.
 
2022-09-24 6:26:51 AM  

theknuckler_33: theknuckler_33: Ackshually, you SIT on a toilet. You go IN a toilet.

Not applicable to public toilets.


I regret I have but one smart to give
 
2022-09-24 6:45:23 AM  

theknuckler_33: Ackshually, you SIT on a toilet. You go IN a toilet.


*frantically scribbles notes*

I'm still confused. What is the trombone for?
 
2022-09-24 6:49:39 AM  

DannyBrandt: theknuckler_33: Ackshually, you SIT on a toilet. You go IN a toilet.

*frantically scribbles notes*

I'm still confused. What is the trombone for?


Well, first you have to make sure it's rusty - very important
 
2022-09-24 11:29:14 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: wildcardjack: Insurance scam. Someone spray painted a toilet.

I remember the first story in my C.M. Kornbluth collection was about a guy who went to steal a mail parcel from a jeweler, but instead of jewelry he found a lump of dry ice. He had stumbled on an insurance scam.

It was quite real, they invited a lot of art critics and such to come have a look, and even a few minutes of privacy to piss in it if they liked.  Some did - said it was unsurprisingly about the same as pissing in any other toilet


The piece is e titled "America".  It actually belonged to the Guggenheim in NYC, where it was actually installed in a regular bathroom, and you could use it as any other toilet.  (There was a security guard).

They gave it on loan to the palace and it was stolen and presumably melted down rather soon after.
 
2022-09-24 11:30:26 AM  

IRestoreFurniture: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: wildcardjack: Insurance scam. Someone spray painted a toilet.

I remember the first story in my C.M. Kornbluth collection was about a guy who went to steal a mail parcel from a jeweler, but instead of jewelry he found a lump of dry ice. He had stumbled on an insurance scam.

It was quite real, they invited a lot of art critics and such to come have a look, and even a few minutes of privacy to piss in it if they liked.  Some did - said it was unsurprisingly about the same as pissing in any other toilet

The piece is e titled "America".  It actually belonged to the Guggenheim in NYC, where it was actually installed in a regular bathroom, and you could use it as any other toilet.  (There was a security guard).

They gave it on loan to the palace and it was stolen and presumably melted down rather soon after.


Oh, another fun fact.  Trump asked to borrow a piece of art from the Guggenheim to put in the white house while he was president.  I think it was a Picasso.  They declined but offered the toilet.  Apparently the white house never responded.
 
2022-09-24 11:35:04 AM  

theknuckler_33: Ackshually, you SIT on a toilet. You go IN a toilet.


Speak for yourself.
 
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