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(Twitter)   America's penis about to get hammered again   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Florida, shot  
•       •       •

3685 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Sep 2022 at 11:04 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



103 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-09-23 5:55:55 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2022-09-23 10:13:37 PM  
Surely that will get rid of the gonorrhea, right?
 
2022-09-23 11:05:27 PM  
Balls.
 
2022-09-23 11:07:32 PM  
It's time for a sloppy circumcision.
 
Azz
2022-09-23 11:09:12 PM  
Smegma surprise!
 
2022-09-23 11:09:48 PM  
Sharpie gonna redirect it West at 2PM Tuesday.
 
2022-09-23 11:10:43 PM  
I only lasted two years in that sh*thole of a state. I will take earthquakes in Alaska any day of the week.
 
2022-09-23 11:12:27 PM  
Those bootstrapping God fearing Floridians will be fine. Go about your business.
 
2022-09-23 11:13:04 PM  
Hoping it tracks about 150 miles east by Tuesday/Wednesday
 
2022-09-23 11:14:11 PM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: Balls.


Already washed away, if you look at the map. Florida has been neutered for quite some time. Pisses them off something fierce!
 
2022-09-23 11:14:37 PM  

Mr. Fuzzypaws: Sharpie gonna redirect it West at 2PM Tuesday.


Easier than that -- Desantis will simply not allow Florida to track it.
 
2022-09-23 11:15:19 PM  
And with it the Florida homeowners insurance market will collapse.
 
2022-09-23 11:16:58 PM  
DeathSantis earned it hard last week. Sorry citizens, but you collectively voted for him. This is only your fault.
 
2022-09-23 11:18:22 PM  
politico.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 11:18:25 PM  
Good. Tampa St Pete sucks. Eastside, yo.
 
2022-09-23 11:19:41 PM  
Only 5 more to go.
 
2022-09-23 11:21:54 PM  
Naw, it's obvious it's gonna hit Alabama.
 
2022-09-23 11:22:16 PM  
Ted Cruz?
 
2022-09-23 11:26:03 PM  
Disney World still sucks
 
2022-09-23 11:26:40 PM  
Ah well.  Whatcha gonna do....
 
2022-09-23 11:28:52 PM  
You guys really didnt think we'd get out of this hurricane season without at least ONE major hurricane did you?

Normally I go to vacation to FL this time of year.  Guess I made the right choice not to go this year.
 
2022-09-23 11:30:04 PM  

Mrtraveler01: You guys really didnt think we'd get out of this hurricane season without at least ONE major hurricane did you?

Normally I go to vacation to FL this time of year.  Guess I made the right choice not to go this year.


I refuse to vacation there, it's a sh*thole state.
 
2022-09-23 11:30:24 PM  
UnBelizeable!
 
2022-09-23 11:30:27 PM  

corq: Mr. Fuzzypaws: Sharpie gonna redirect it West at 2PM Tuesday.

Easier than that -- Desantis will simply not allow Florida to track it.


I assumed he'd just bus it to DC.
 
2022-09-23 11:31:26 PM  

corq: Mr. Fuzzypaws: Sharpie gonna redirect it West at 2PM Tuesday.

Easier than that -- Desantis will simply not allow Florida to track it.


Fark user imageView Full Size


Easier than that Kat Kerr will pray it away.
 
2022-09-23 11:32:55 PM  

some_beer_drinker: [politico.com image 630x420]


Yup. I remember all the panic over Dorian after what it did to the Bahamas. Tree services were going around chopping anything next to power lines which is the first time I've seen them do THAT around here. There were long lines at gas stations, panic buying at stores, etc.

Then it just... sat there off the coast. And slowly went north. Without even touching us.

So come back to me the day before landfall and then I'll get worried.
 
2022-09-23 11:32:56 PM  
And if TFG were still in charge, he could've redirected it away using his magic sharpie powers.

Oh, and don't forget the nuke-ular. He's very good with the nuke-ular. His uncle at MIT would always say "Sir, how do you know so much about using the nuke-ular to stop hurricanes?"
 
2022-09-23 11:33:58 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size


Trump files insurance claim for $250,000,000
 
2022-09-23 11:35:10 PM  

fat boy: Hoping it tracks about 150 miles east by Tuesday/Wednesday


That's be the biggest collective "oh no! Anyway..."
 
2022-09-23 11:35:45 PM  
Good luck with all dat sh*t.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 11:36:41 PM  
I thought for sure this was about Aaron Rupar! 
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 11:37:55 PM  
I'm right at the landfall spot in that track. It's been nice knowing all of you.
 
2022-09-23 11:41:56 PM  
You usually have to pay extra to get your taint played with like that.
 
2022-09-23 11:43:02 PM  

KCinPA: I thought for sure this was about Aaron Rupar! [Fark user image 425x263]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 11:43:15 PM  
Major Hurricane Ian? Well at least it's not Colonel Hurricane Ian.
 
2022-09-23 11:45:05 PM  

dodecahedron: I'm right at the landfall spot in that track. It's been nice knowing all of you.


I survived Francis right there while on vacation. You will too. No worries but be safe.
 
2022-09-23 11:45:47 PM  
Good news: I'll get a few paid days off

Bad news: I'll spend my Monday putting up aluminum shutters on the 50+ windows at my parent's house. By myself.

Not looking forward to that.

/Luckily I have hurricane windows at my house
 
2022-09-23 11:46:12 PM  
Looks like this'll be my second major hurricane. Lost power for three days after Irma passed 15 miles east of me as a Cat2. This landfall has shifted some in the last half day, but it looks like it will hit me dead on or just north of me.

/I lived through Irma.
//I'm better prepared now.
///Ioniq5 V2L for the win.
 
2022-09-23 11:49:29 PM  

skybird659: Uchiha_Cycliste: Balls.

Already washed away, if you look at the map. Florida has been neutered for quite some time. Pisses them off something fierce!


This explains so very much.
 
2022-09-23 11:51:02 PM  
Joke's on the hurricane. Naples loves that shiat.
 
2022-09-23 11:52:34 PM  
Why is everyone so concerned?  You can just change the course storms take with a magic marker and a white board.
 
2022-09-23 11:52:43 PM  
It's all fake. Nothing is written in Sharpie.
 
2022-09-23 11:54:57 PM  

Stargazer86: some_beer_drinker: [politico.com image 630x420]

Yup. I remember all the panic over Dorian after what it did to the Bahamas. Tree services were going around chopping anything next to power lines which is the first time I've seen them do THAT around here. There were long lines at gas stations, panic buying at stores, etc.

Then it just... sat there off the coast. And slowly went north. Without even touching us.

So come back to me the day before landfall and then I'll get worried.


Dorian was going to make a direct hit at Jupiter (where I live), and it did that crazy wobble and started following the Gulfstream.

Trivia: Jupiter is the closest point the Gulfstream gets to the US.

The Windy app predicted it. I like their future cast, a lot. I remember when it did the wobble, Steve Weagle who is our local weather guy on the NBC affiliate and a neighbor of mine, started going nuts on-air when the radar showed the wobble.

That storm actually scared me shiatless. Anything under a Cat 4 doesn't bother me after 04-05. But Dorian was an angry biatch.
 
2022-09-23 11:55:24 PM  
If DeathSentence comes asking for federal aid, tell him to pound Blanche, then pound sand.

He wasted tax dollars on a political stunt; he shouldn't be trusted with any federal dollars.

Need money? Raise taxes.
 
2022-09-23 11:59:16 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 11:59:40 PM  
My mom lives in the west part of the panhandle. She just got a whole house generator installed and her roof fixed. She should be safe. So I say fark the rest of Florida. I know they'll come begging to the feds for aid when the hurricane hits and act like they deserve it.
 
2022-09-24 12:00:48 AM  
Good place for nuclear secrets, a closet, whoda thunk putin, Lindey , Hillery?
 
2022-09-24 12:03:20 AM  
It's filthy and could use a really good cleaning
 
2022-09-24 12:03:23 AM  
I'm with Patton Oswalt, it's not America's wang, it's America's saggy, aging nutsack.

But twice as wrinkly.
 
2022-09-24 12:03:59 AM  

KCinPA: I thought for sure this was about Aaron Rupar! [Fark user image 425x263]


That's because you're an idiot.
 
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