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(ABC News)   The most Alaska story that ever Alaska'd   (abcnews.go.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Alaska, Palmer, Alaska, Injury, Moose, bear attack, Anchorage, Alaska, brown bear, Alaska State Troopers  
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5387 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Sep 2022 at 5:30 AM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-09-23 5:38:09 AM  
And now a cub is going to starve to death.
 
2022-09-23 5:41:26 AM  
The child suffered serious injuries, while a man sustained humorous injuries, Alaska State Troopers said.

/ that's my story and I'm sticking to it
 
2022-09-23 5:42:21 AM  
Bear attacks humans, gets killed with gunz is barely recognizable as Alaskan. How about a 450 pound seal just chillin' on an airport runway like it owns the place?

https://www.adn.com/alaska-life/2017/10/24/in-utqiagvik-low-sealings-bring-a-unique-airplane-hazard/
 
2022-09-23 5:47:22 AM  
I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.
 
2022-09-23 5:55:54 AM  
Waiting for list of the kid's injuries.  Are we talking bites?  Scratches?  Bullet holes?
 
2022-09-23 6:15:00 AM  

dbirchall: Waiting for list of the kid's injuries.  Are we talking bites?  Scratches?  Bullet holes?


And I'm waiting for the relationship between the two related hunters.

Father-son, Grandpa-grandson, brother-brother, uncle-nephew, or step-father-step-son.

The possibilities are nearly endless.
 
2022-09-23 6:22:48 AM  
There is no way i'd take a 9 year old hunting. Ok, maybe i would if he was really fat and i could outrun him.
 
2022-09-23 6:32:09 AM  

Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.


Is a 9mm enough? Word on the street, and by street I mean internet, is that you can shoot a bear several times before it kills you.
 
2022-09-23 6:36:49 AM  

Badafuco: Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out


But just think of the obituary potential! That is gravestone gold
 
2022-09-23 6:39:32 AM  

August11: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

Is a 9mm enough? Word on the street, and by street I mean internet, is that you can shoot a bear several times before it kills you.


Not really the stopping power I need but it's better than nothing. Plus with a shot of bear spray, I think it will protect my pooping ass.
 
2022-09-23 6:40:10 AM  

berylman: Badafuco: Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out

But just think of the obituary potential! That is gravestone gold


I would definitely be a Fark headline.
 
2022-09-23 6:43:00 AM  

August11: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

Is a 9mm enough? Word on the street, and by street I mean internet, is that you can shoot a bear several times before it kills you.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 6:45:35 AM  

Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.


That was the talk of the fishing camp this Summer. Allegedly (anglers so they lie) a guest of an outfitter camp had decided that the weather was so nice he'd do his morning shiat with the outhouse door open.

Bear snatched him off the shiatter and was mauled him until his friend grabbed the cabin gun and drove him off.

Though, of all the places for a bear attack the one where you don't shiat your pants is probably a good enough one.
 
2022-09-23 6:45:45 AM  
And a I'm certainly not some crazy ammophile, it's only for survival. I don't have children and I don't open carry. It's just protection against bears and tweakers.
 
2022-09-23 6:46:12 AM  

Badafuco: August11: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

Is a 9mm enough? Word on the street, and by street I mean internet, is that you can shoot a bear several times before it kills you.

[Fark user image image 425x424]


Ha! Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Stay safe out there.
 
2022-09-23 6:51:57 AM  

NathanAllen: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

That was the talk of the fishing camp this Summer. Allegedly (anglers so they lie) a guest of an outfitter camp had decided that the weather was so nice he'd do his morning shiat with the outhouse door open.

Bear snatched him off the shiatter and was mauled him until his friend grabbed the cabin gun and drove him off.

Though, of all the places for a bear attack the one where you don't shiat your pants is probably a good enough one.


I mean, there are worse ways to die, but a bear mauling while in an outhouse is up there on the list of one of the most unpleasant ways to go.
 
2022-09-23 6:59:54 AM  
"The most Alaska story that ever Alaska'd"
Fark user imageView Full Size

/
Story contained exactly zero Palins.
//Also, no snowmobiles.
///Mandatory third slashie.
 
2022-09-23 7:01:39 AM  
Doesn't seem very Alaskan. I was expecting a drunken moose or at least a flock of bald eagles stealing groceries in a walmart parking lot.
 
2022-09-23 7:25:07 AM  

August11: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

Is a 9mm enough? Word on the street, and by street I mean internet, is that you can shoot a bear several times before it kills you.


Yep. You really need something with stopping power like a .357 if you don't want to be seriously mauled.
 
2022-09-23 7:26:20 AM  

Badafuco: NathanAllen: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

That was the talk of the fishing camp this Summer. Allegedly (anglers so they lie) a guest of an outfitter camp had decided that the weather was so nice he'd do his morning shiat with the outhouse door open.

Bear snatched him off the shiatter and was mauled him until his friend grabbed the cabin gun and drove him off.

Though, of all the places for a bear attack the one where you don't shiat your pants is probably a good enough one.

I mean, there are worse ways to die, but a bear mauling while in an outhouse is up there on the list of one of the most unpleasant ways to go.


If you are living a life where you regularly use an outhouse do you really want to avoid death?
 
2022-09-23 7:26:38 AM  

Sleeper_agent: Doesn't seem very Alaskan. I was expecting a drunken moose or at least a flock of bald eagles stealing groceries in a walmart parking lot.


Or at least the involvement of some sort of serious political corruption.
 
2022-09-23 7:30:43 AM  
That's not even in the first 5 pages of most Alaskan stories.

Ravens stealing short ribs from Costco customers.
 
2022-09-23 7:38:17 AM  

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Bear attacks humans, gets killed with gunz is barely recognizable as Alaskan. How about a 450 pound seal just chillin' on an airport runway like it owns the place?

https://www.adn.com/alaska-life/2017/10/24/in-utqiagvik-low-sealings-bring-a-unique-airplane-hazard/


I grew up in Alaska pre-internet and there are stories.

A bald eagle once grabbed a tourist's chihuahua in downtown anchorage while they were refueling their RV.

An airport in anchorage (fort hood, I think) installed a rubberized waterproof coating on one of their hangar roofs and a flock of ravens ate it. The whole thing. They just decided it was tasty. TONS of awesome raven stories.

And that's just anchorage.
 
2022-09-23 7:40:45 AM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: "The most Alaska story that ever Alaska'd"
[Fark user image 200x200] [View Full Size image _x_]
/Story contained exactly zero Palins.
//Also, no snowmobiles.
///Mandatory third slashie.


Snowmobile is like the third leading cause of death in Alaska.

pa1.narvii.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 7:42:17 AM  
Friday the 13th 5 (6/9) Movie CLIP - Killer Crapper (1985) HD
Youtube OGEmY8RCF40
what dying in an outhouse really looks like.
 
2022-09-23 7:43:53 AM  

Ambivalence: Don't Troll Me Bro!: Bear attacks humans, gets killed with gunz is barely recognizable as Alaskan. How about a 450 pound seal just chillin' on an airport runway like it owns the place?

https://www.adn.com/alaska-life/2017/10/24/in-utqiagvik-low-sealings-bring-a-unique-airplane-hazard/

I grew up in Alaska pre-internet and there are stories.

A bald eagle once grabbed a tourist's chihuahua in downtown anchorage while they were refueling their RV.

An airport in anchorage (fort hood, I think) installed a rubberized waterproof coating on one of their hangar roofs and a flock of ravens ate it. The whole thing. They just decided it was tasty. TONS of awesome raven stories.

And that's just anchorage.


MOAR
 
2022-09-23 7:51:09 AM  

Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.


Beth hit em with the bear mace!!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 7:52:29 AM  

Badafuco: And a I'm certainly not some crazy ammophile, it's only for survival. I don't have children and I don't open carry. It's just protection against bears and tweakers.


I thought for a second to train the bears to eat the tweakers but then you would have a bunch of cranked up bears
 
2022-09-23 8:15:57 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: The child suffered serious injuries, while a man sustained humorous injuries, Alaska State Troopers said.

/ that's my story and I'm sticking to it


I would have gone with "minor suffers major injuries" and prayed the adult involved held the rank of Major.
 
2022-09-23 8:22:56 AM  
Neither the 'most Alaska' headline nor the strange tag are justified. It's just a sad story about hunting.
 
2022-09-23 8:29:32 AM  

starlost: There is no way i'd take a 9 year old hunting. Ok, maybe i would if he was really fat and i could outrun him.


I would take a 9-year-old hunting if I thought he/she was ready, but I live in South Carolina. In Alaska, the definition of "ready" would be very different.
 
2022-09-23 8:34:37 AM  

YetiRider: And now a cub is going to starve to death.


At this time of year the cub would be able to forage on its own as it should be weaned. It probably won't make it due to its age and lack of knowledge on how to do bear stuff but it should be able to find food. kind of a shiatty situation all around to be honest.
 
2022-09-23 8:34:56 AM  

Churchy LaFemme: August11: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

Is a 9mm enough? Word on the street, and by street I mean internet, is that you can shoot a bear several times before it kills you.

Yep. You really need something with stopping power like a .357 if you don't want to be seriously mauled.


The uncomfortable truth is that while many calibers can do the job nothing short of an African dangerous game cartridge is guaranteed to abruptly stop a very large animal that is intent on killing you. Game warden Lou Kis unloaded his .357 magnum revolver into the head of a grizzly bear that was mauling him. It didn't stop mauling him until the last bullet by luck went into its neck and hit it in the spinal column.
 
2022-09-23 8:37:16 AM  

starlost: There is no way i'd take a 9 year old hunting. Ok, maybe i would if he was really fat and i could outrun him.


Meh I was hunting at 9, not moose hunting but rabbits, squirrels, and such.
 
2022-09-23 8:40:11 AM  

assjuice: Badafuco: NathanAllen: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

That was the talk of the fishing camp this Summer. Allegedly (anglers so they lie) a guest of an outfitter camp had decided that the weather was so nice he'd do his morning shiat with the outhouse door open.

Bear snatched him off the shiatter and was mauled him until his friend grabbed the cabin gun and drove him off.

Though, of all the places for a bear attack the one where you don't shiat your pants is probably a good enough one.

I mean, there are worse ways to die, but a bear mauling while in an outhouse is up there on the list of one of the most unpleasant ways to go.

If you are living a life where you regularly use an outhouse do you really want to avoid death?


It's a step up from shiatting in a honey bucket in Shishmaref.
 
2022-09-23 8:43:42 AM  

Netrngr: Meh I was hunting at 9, not moose hunting but rabbits, squirrels, and such.


Squirrels & such
Youtube 7S-a3Imcz2M
 
2022-09-23 8:43:46 AM  
The boy was just avenging his sister's m00se bite.
 
2022-09-23 8:44:50 AM  

Klyukva: The uncomfortable truth is that while many calibers can do the job nothing short of an African dangerous game cartridge is guaranteed to abruptly stop a very large animal that is intent on killing you. Game warden Lou Kis unloaded his .357 magnum revolver into the head of a grizzly bear that was mauling him. It didn't stop mauling him until the last bullet by luck went into its neck and hit it in the spinal column.


aws.boone-crockett.orgView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 8:44:59 AM  
Truth be told, they didn't come there for the hunting.
 
2022-09-23 9:22:29 AM  

Gentlequiet: Truth be told, they didn't come there for the hunting.


One of the oldest jokes I know.  Still funny.
 
2022-09-23 9:48:06 AM  

assjuice: Badafuco: NathanAllen: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

That was the talk of the fishing camp this Summer. Allegedly (anglers so they lie) a guest of an outfitter camp had decided that the weather was so nice he'd do his morning shiat with the outhouse door open.

Bear snatched him off the shiatter and was mauled him until his friend grabbed the cabin gun and drove him off.

Though, of all the places for a bear attack the one where you don't shiat your pants is probably a good enough one.

I mean, there are worse ways to die, but a bear mauling while in an outhouse is up there on the list of one of the most unpleasant ways to go.

If you are living a life where you regularly use an outhouse do you really want to avoid death?


Name def checks out
 
2022-09-23 9:51:12 AM  

Badafuco: And a I'm certainly not some crazy ammophile, it's only for survival. I don't have children and I don't open carry. It's just protection against bears and tweakers.


i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-23 10:04:14 AM  
Did the kid make fun of Elisha on his way to Bethel? Dude is really sensitive about his hair.
 
2022-09-23 10:36:13 AM  

Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.


Did you remove the front sight from that 9? Easier insertion and all that.

/10mm minimum
 
2022-09-23 10:37:45 AM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: "The most Alaska story that ever Alaska'd"
[Fark user image image 200x200]
/Story contained exactly zero Palins.
//Also, no snowmobiles.
///Mandatory third slashie.


It also contained zero meth and no unemployed persons.
 
2022-09-23 10:42:33 AM  

YetiRider: And now a cub is going to starve to death.


FTA:
The brown bear was with a cub at the time of the attack. The Alaska Wildlife Troopers and Alaska Department of Fish and Game were unable to locate a cub in the area after ground and aerial searches, McDaniel said.

It's possible that the bear saw the couple as a threat to it's cub, or they did something to the cub.  Really if it was there with it's cub, protection of that cub would have been it's first priority.
 
2022-09-23 10:44:30 AM  

NoGods: starlost: There is no way i'd take a 9 year old hunting. Ok, maybe i would if he was really fat and i could outrun him.

I would take a 9-year-old hunting if I thought he/she was ready, but I live in South Carolina. In Alaska, the definition of "ready" would be very different.


Indeed, more so if this was in Australia, where you have mutant beasts roaming about.
 
2022-09-23 10:53:07 AM  

berylman: Badafuco: Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out

But just think of the obituary potential! That is gravestone gold

--
"He died doing what he loved"
 
2022-09-23 11:27:14 AM  
We were on Baranof Island in July. There are about a thousand bears and 8,500 people living there, so one bear per 8.5 people. The residents somehow manage to not be eaten for the most part, so maybe figure out what those people do, and do lots of that.
 
2022-09-23 12:23:53 PM  

Klyukva: Churchy LaFemme: August11: Badafuco: I live up here in Fairbanks and there is not a single trip to my outhouse that I don't carry bear spray and my 9mm with me when I go. Especially right now as bears are trying to bulk up before they hibernate.

Dying outside on the sh*tter, mauled by a bear is not how I want to go out.

Is a 9mm enough? Word on the street, and by street I mean internet, is that you can shoot a bear several times before it kills you.

Yep. You really need something with stopping power like a .357 if you don't want to be seriously mauled.

The uncomfortable truth is that while many calibers can do the job nothing short of an African dangerous game cartridge is guaranteed to abruptly stop a very large animal that is intent on killing you. Game warden Lou Kis unloaded his .357 magnum revolver into the head of a grizzly bear that was mauling him. It didn't stop mauling him until the last bullet by luck went into its neck and hit it in the spinal column.



THIS

a 9mm would just piss off a grizzly, if it even feels it and as you point out even a .357 is insufficient. Then there are the guys that are so pants shiatingly scared but wanna be macho so they get a 500 S&W snubnose for bear protection... Let me tell you, those suckers KICK and if you have to draw and fire in a panic on a charging bear, there is a good chance the pistol is gonna go flying out of your hand after you pull the trigger the first time... with no guarantee it'll slow the bear down if you were lucky enough to hit it.

Bear spray is the best defense.
 
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