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(Daily Mail)   Alex Jones has said sorry hundreds of times and still hasn't gotten it right, so he's given up trying   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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4320 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2022 at 10:45 PM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-09-22 9:04:33 PM  
When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.
 
2022-09-22 9:56:51 PM  

Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.


Oh c'mon, use some imagination...
Send in the geriatric stripper clowns!

/ for an extra $500 they'll throw him a lemon party
 
2022-09-22 10:27:25 PM  
He's playing up for the cameras. The judge has been way too lenient with him. Stop threatening to do something and actually do it.
 
TWX
2022-09-22 10:49:02 PM  
There are some acts for which an apology can never be sufficient.

Jones' denigrating the murder of children and their grieving families is one such act.
 
2022-09-22 10:51:22 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.

Oh c'mon, use some imagination...
Send in the geriatric stripper clowns!

/ for an extra $500 they'll throw him a lemon party


The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1/10) Movie CLIP - Nordberg's Bad Luck (1988) HD
Youtube J2_tJIgfnDA
 
2022-09-22 10:51:23 PM  
Judge should have a bailiff put a bark collar on him
 
2022-09-22 10:54:21 PM  
If this was a scene in a movie, I'd stop watching.
 
2022-09-22 10:54:52 PM  
Alex jones doesn't care anymore.  He admitted on the bench he cashed out $9 million in bit coin and gave it to himself.  Someone is funding him to be a shiatweasal as much as possible

/apologies to all shiatweasals
 
2022-09-22 10:55:34 PM  
I even might feel a little sorry for Alex Jones...if he didn't deserve every bad thing that ever happens to him.
 
2022-09-22 10:56:38 PM  
Its simple folks give to the rich. rush limbough who cloned alex
 
2022-09-22 10:58:06 PM  

Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.


A marching band
 
2022-09-22 10:58:14 PM  

Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.


i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 10:59:25 PM  
He claimed 'liberals' can 'switch emotions on and off when you want'...

It's called being sane.
 
2022-09-22 10:59:52 PM  
He only really started to go off the rails at the end of the day.  The plaintiff's attorney did a good job of slowly ramping up the pressure from just sort of nuts and bolts kind of questioning into sussing out Jones's familiarity with the size of his reach, the implicit impact that has on his company's money-earning, and also Jones being familiar with how his communications with his audience led and lead to real-life actions (e.g. his supporters showing up somewhere and being dildos).

Jones helped in this process because he absolutely would not farking shut up even when it was his own attorney trying to act in his benefit.  Earlier on in the day plaintiffs would ask a question, Jones would start launching into a long answer (to a yes/no/IDK question) and his attorney would object, but Jones would just keep powering on.  Then the judge would stop him and point out he didn't have to answer and shouldn't answer.  About halfway through the day she just gave the fark up and was like (I think she basically actually said this) 'I cannot keep doing this every single time.  If your client keeps choosing to answer despite your objection and I cannot get a word in edgewise, then that's your problem.'

By the end of the day he had gotten so wound up he was injecting bullshirt about globalists, and conspiracies, the deep state, etc.  He absolutely got saved by the bell at the end of the day.  It was only going to get worse.

tl;dr: he sorta behaved in the morning because the judge kept saving him from himself, over and over and over.  She gave up after lunch and things got entertaining.
 
2022-09-22 10:59:55 PM  
Jones cannot hide who he is.  He cannot afford to do so because his audience will not accept it, but he also just plain can't do it, no matter what's at stake.  He can lie about it, but under the least pressure, or when he is being himself for his audience, he reveals the truth.  And his true self is just awful.  His audience does not mind that - in fact, that is what they like about him, IMO - but it's a disaster for him in any kind of court case, because it means he almost certainly did whatever he is accused of doing, and did it gleefully.
 
2022-09-22 11:01:09 PM  
Wait. Alex Jones is 3 years younger than me?
 
2022-09-22 11:02:07 PM  

Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.


Some awful, painful, disgusting, incurable parasitic infection that turns his insides to jelly, slowly and painfully, and affecting his heart, lungs, and brain last so that he feels everything fail in its turn.

Or, something like that.
 
2022-09-22 11:02:15 PM  
I am still amazed that his conduct so far has failed to meet the standard for criminal harassment or reckless endangerment.
 
2022-09-22 11:02:17 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.

Oh c'mon, use some imagination...
Send in the geriatric stripper clowns!

/ for an extra $500 they'll throw him a lemon party


family guy breakfast machine
Youtube lYDzhLOPD3E


I'd take a slow bleed out from the Family Guy breakfast machine.
 
2022-09-22 11:07:08 PM  

Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 11:07:22 PM  
Anybody ever see a dude in court get forcibly restrained and muzzled? I have. Once. It was hilarious. Let us pray....
 
2022-09-22 11:10:00 PM  

Monkey: Wait. Alex Jones is 3 years younger than me?


Ten years younger than me.
 
2022-09-22 11:13:29 PM  

Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.


I will hire the barbershop quartet singers from family guy, prefixed by me, in a lab coat with a clip board, waking in and telling him he has aids, then the quartet.
 
2022-09-22 11:16:03 PM  

Walker: He's playing up for the cameras. The judge has been way too lenient with him. Stop threatening to do something and actually do it.


The judge knows Jones is just dying for the judge to do something that will give Jones an excuse for an appeal.  And which Jones will use to claim victimhood.

The judge is playing it smart.  When a dickhead is digging themselves into a hole, you don't take the shovel off them.
 
2022-09-22 11:16:53 PM  
But Jones seemed unfazed, saying: 'Just like all the Iraqis you liberals killed and loved.

The most widespread, nuttiest horseshiat adopted by even the "reasonable" Republicans is that the Iraqi invasion wasn't an overwhelmingly Republican operation, with regular threats of treasonous hanging for anyone who spoke out against it. "You're with us or the terrorists." They're rewriting history.
 
2022-09-22 11:17:14 PM  
This, btw, is the true right-wing mindset on display, and it should be saved in perpetuity.

"I said I was sorry! How many times can I say I'm sorry? You libs are never happy!"

Not realizing that this isn't about "saying he's sorry" and the damage is far beyond a mere apology. This is about acknowledging HE DID SOMETHING WRONG and other people suffered because of it.

The time for "apology" is long past. It is time for restitution, and he will not do that as glibly as he apologized. So he must be forced.
 
2022-09-22 11:18:22 PM  

princhester: Walker: He's playing up for the cameras. The judge has been way too lenient with him. Stop threatening to do something and actually do it.

The judge knows Jones is just dying for the judge to do something that will give Jones an excuse for an appeal.  And which Jones will use to claim victimhood.

The judge is playing it smart.  When a dickhead is digging themselves into a hole, you don't take the shovel off them.


Yes, never interrupt your opponent while they're making a mistake.
 
2022-09-22 11:19:43 PM  

kkinnison: Alex jones doesn't care anymore.  He admitted on the bench he cashed out $9 million in bit coin and gave it to himself.  Someone is funding him to be a shiatweasal as much as possible

/apologies to all shiatweasals


probably a sitting member of congress
 
2022-09-22 11:19:49 PM  

TWX: There are some acts for which an apology can never be sufficient.

Jones' denigrating the murder of children and their grieving families is one such act.


And he's still doing it.
 
2022-09-22 11:21:13 PM  
Alex Jones is the single most convincing argument in American history that maybe we should have the death penalty for civil trials.
 
2022-09-22 11:22:56 PM  

Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.


I heard he's partial to gay frog mariachi bands.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 11:25:12 PM  

Gyrfalcon: This, btw, is the true right-wing mindset on display, and it should be saved in perpetuity.

"I said I was sorry! How many times can I say I'm sorry? You libs are never happy!"

Not realizing that this isn't about "saying he's sorry" and the damage is far beyond a mere apology. This is about acknowledging HE DID SOMETHING WRONG and other people suffered because of it.

The time for "apology" is long past. It is time for restitution, and he will not do that as glibly as he apologized. So he must be forced.


It's also a pretty common Trumpian mindset regarding courts and trials: "If there's nothing I can say that will get me off the hook, then the trial wasn't fair. In a fair trial, all I'd have to do is find the correct set of words. It'd be like a test in school, see? If there is a question with no right answer, then it's not a fair test." Nevermind that this isn't how courts are supposed to work. It's how they expect courts to work, because it's how the entirety of life has worked for them so far, and they have zero experience to the contrary.
 
2022-09-22 11:25:20 PM  

Monkey: Wait. Alex Jones is 3 years younger than me?


It ain't the years, it's the mileage...of running over gay frogs & getting covered in their syphilitic gay juices at truckstop glory holes while using a Fully Automatic Assault Armor Piercing AR-15/AK-47 ghost gun hybrid barrel as a dildo with liberal tears as lube.

Or whatever his farking insane ramblings come up with this week.
 
2022-09-22 11:27:49 PM  
'Do you want me to stop your client from speaking?' she asked. 'Physically do you want me to stop him from speaking?'

media1.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 11:34:13 PM  
Unrepentant to the last.

F#ck this asshole long and hard.
 
2022-09-22 11:35:10 PM  

Monkey: Wait. Alex Jones is 3 years younger than me?


Came here to say that I just found out he's only 5 years older than me. He looks worse than my dad, a 67yo semi-alcoholic labourer.
 
2022-09-22 11:38:26 PM  
News Just in: Alex Jones, a man with anger management issues and impulse control problems, does not understand that people can normally control their emotions when appropriate for certain contexts.
 
2022-09-22 11:41:41 PM  
Anyone who actually follows Alex Jones and agrees with him is not even human and doesn't deserve to live among us as a free person.
 
2022-09-22 11:43:06 PM  

Aetre: It's also a pretty common Trumpian mindset regarding courts and trials: "If there's nothing I can say that will get me off the hook, then the trial wasn't fair. In a fair trial, all I'd have to do is find the correct set of words. It'd be like a test in school, see? If there is a question with no right answer, then it's not a fair test." Nevermind that this isn't how courts are supposed to work. It's how they expect courts to work, because it's how the entirety of life has worked for them so far, and they have zero experience to the contrary.


Another key element is that Trump and Trumpian pundits are used to operating only in the court of (limited) public opinion.  Their technique works because whatever they say is accepted as truth by their highly receptive audience, as long as it is what their audience wants to hear and has a certain truthiness to that audience.  And they are used to an unsophisticated audience who can be distracted as required, just by saying "But what about the liberals!"

Their technique falls apart like a cheap suit when they are expected to deal with actual facts, and with people who won't accept what they say at face value, and who can't be distracted by irrelevancies.
 
2022-09-22 11:46:28 PM  
Alex is only 40 something? Holy crap! I'd've thought he was pushing 70.
 
2022-09-22 11:48:29 PM  

Walker: He's playing up for the cameras. The judge has been way too lenient with him. Stop threatening to do something and actually do it.


That's what his legal team wants. It's a dumb plan but any action taken by the judge can be used in the inevitable appeal.

That's how it works when you have the $$$$ to play the game.
 
2022-09-22 11:49:52 PM  

PhoenixFarker: princhester: Walker: He's playing up for the cameras. The judge has been way too lenient with him. Stop threatening to do something and actually do it.

The judge knows Jones is just dying for the judge to do something that will give Jones an excuse for an appeal.  And which Jones will use to claim victimhood.

The judge is playing it smart.  When a dickhead is digging themselves into a hole, you don't take the shovel off them.

Yes, never interrupt your opponent while they're making a mistake.


- Sun Tzu
 
2022-09-22 11:50:48 PM  
Suggested restraint:
i.ebayimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 11:52:39 PM  

princhester: Aetre: It's also a pretty common Trumpian mindset regarding courts and trials: "If there's nothing I can say that will get me off the hook, then the trial wasn't fair. In a fair trial, all I'd have to do is find the correct set of words. It'd be like a test in school, see? If there is a question with no right answer, then it's not a fair test." Nevermind that this isn't how courts are supposed to work. It's how they expect courts to work, because it's how the entirety of life has worked for them so far, and they have zero experience to the contrary.

Another key element is that Trump and Trumpian pundits are used to operating only in the court of (limited) public opinion.  Their technique works because whatever they say is accepted as truth by their highly receptive audience, as long as it is what their audience wants to hear and has a certain truthiness to that audience.  And they are used to an unsophisticated audience who can be distracted as required, just by saying "But what about the liberals!"

Their technique falls apart like a cheap suit when they are expected to deal with actual facts, and with people who won't accept what they say at face value, and who can't be distracted by irrelevancies.


And how much I hope for the not-far-off day when they hold no more sway over the existence of the free and fair America we all grew up in.
 
2022-09-22 11:54:00 PM  
Here's how you say sorry to the people who you have tortured for years. You give them all the money you got for doing that plus everything else you have. Anything less is not an apology, it's being a vile, subhuman sack of shiar like all the people who listen to you.
 
2022-09-22 11:55:36 PM  
I'll send a dollar for every million he loses.
He might get rent from it.
 
2022-09-22 11:55:40 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Monkey: Wait. Alex Jones is 3 years younger than me?

Ten years younger than me.


Dad?
 
2022-09-22 11:58:19 PM  

Monac: Jones cannot hide who he is.  He cannot afford to do so because his audience will not accept it, but he also just plain can't do it, no matter what's at stake.  He can lie about it, but under the least pressure, or when he is being himself for his audience, he reveals the truth.  And his true self is just awful.  His audience does not mind that - in fact, that is what they like about him, IMO - but it's a disaster for him in any kind of court case, because it means he almost certainly did whatever he is accused of doing, and did it gleefully.


I did not want to be the first to bring up TFG. But, if you change the first word of this paragraph to Trump it actually works out pretty well.
 
2022-09-23 12:04:27 AM  

Derp Du Jour: Pocket Ninja: When his death finally comes, I hope it's exceptionally painful and drawn out. Some rare cancer, a horrible and disfiguring car crash, something along those lines. I may send celebration cards to his hospital room. Lots of them. Perhaps a band.

[Fark user image 425x318] [View Full Size image _x_]


/shakes tiny maracas...

And it would need a FULL horn section too...Maybe playing Celito Lindo or "hat dance" every few songs..
With lots of Ranchero songs about dead cowboys...
 
2022-09-23 12:11:23 AM  

UltimaCS: But Jones seemed unfazed, saying: 'Just like all the Iraqis you liberals killed and loved.

The most widespread, nuttiest horseshiat adopted by even the "reasonable" Republicans is that the Iraqi invasion wasn't an overwhelmingly Republican operation, with regular threats of treasonous hanging for anyone who spoke out against it. "You're with us or the terrorists." They're rewriting history.


Yeah I remember how all the Democratic senators who voted for the war tried to weasel their way out after it was unpopular. "It was Wormtongue! He made me do it!" As if they hadn't been enthusiastic participants. As if there isn't video of these farkers from the late '90s trying to convince the public to support an invasion of Iraq.
 
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