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(MSN)   Popular "how to" Google searches in the USA: "fix a leaky toilet", "roast a chicken", "start a business". Popular "how to" searches in Russia: "break an arm", "leave Russia". Surprisingly no "how to survive falling out a window". Fail tag for Putin and his war   (msn.com) divider line
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1142 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2022 at 5:50 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-09-22 5:04:51 PM  
Popular Google search in Ukraine: How to make a Molotov Cocktail
Popular Google search in Russia: How to get out of Russia
 
2022-09-22 5:33:28 PM  
Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"
 
2022-09-22 5:52:38 PM  
 No shame in trying to get out of a bullshiat war. I'd do the same.
 
2022-09-22 5:52:55 PM  
If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".
 
2022-09-22 5:55:37 PM  
why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.
 
2022-09-22 5:56:49 PM  

Private_Citizen: Popular Google search in Ukraine: How to make a Molotov Cocktail
Popular Google search in Russia: How to get out of Russia


Technically doing off to die in Ukraine IS getting out of Russia.
 
2022-09-22 5:57:31 PM  

Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.


A lot of this. Russians don't deserve search engines.
 
2022-09-22 5:57:33 PM  

tricycleracer: If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".


Or "how to pretend to be gay".
 
2022-09-22 5:57:54 PM  

Karma Chameleon: No shame in trying to get out of a bullshiat war. I'd do the same.


I assume you probably are or already did.
 
2022-09-22 5:58:18 PM  

Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.


With the way they use other consumer products to "military" I wouldn't doubt it is actually a great intelligence source for Ukraine.
 
2022-09-22 5:58:25 PM  

Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.


In all honesty its not easy to turn off the net to a country.. you have to control all the gateways.
 
2022-09-22 5:58:32 PM  

moto-geek: tricycleracer: If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".

Or "how to pretend to be gay".



Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 5:59:55 PM  
From Twitter:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 6:00:15 PM  

neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"


This is pretty accurate for much of Russian history, which sucks. They really need a new schtick.
 
2022-09-22 6:00:57 PM  
Photographer: Come on Vladie.  Show 'em you're not so bad.  Flash us a big smile!
Putin:Okay.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 6:02:13 PM  
Imagine the relief of taking off yesterday on a one way ticket out of Russia for all the military aged men who managed it. I'm sure they were all expecting to be stopped at the airport.
 
2022-09-22 6:02:13 PM  

Begoggle: Karma Chameleon: No shame in trying to get out of a bullshiat war. I'd do the same.

I assume you probably are or already did.


I think i just turned old enough that I'd probably be fine. But you better believe if they had instituted a draft during the Iraq shiatshow I would've fled to Canada or shot myself in the foot or something. Fark that.
 
2022-09-22 6:03:56 PM  

neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"


No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.
 
2022-09-22 6:04:12 PM  

Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.


That's a good point and it wouldn't be hard for Google to do that.
 
2022-09-22 6:04:29 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Photographer: Come on Vladie.  Show 'em you're not so bad.  Flash us a big smile!
Putin:Okay.
[Fark user image 384x254]


Looks like he bet on a fart and lost.
 
2022-09-22 6:05:19 PM  

Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.


Yeah but where the heck is Russia going to get enough grain to make all that vodak?

Oh. my. god.....
 
2022-09-22 6:06:14 PM  

Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.


Well you can't eat tracksuits, crappy music, and jokes about Catherine the Great farking a horse.
 
2022-09-22 6:06:28 PM  
I'm recovering from surgery for a proximal fracture of the humerus. Apparently, you can break an arm by falling weirdly while jogging. I was making great time too!
 
2022-09-22 6:06:34 PM  

neongoats: Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.

A lot of this. Russians don't deserve search engines.


at the very least force them to use Microsoft Bing.
 
2022-09-22 6:07:14 PM  
There's always the Ted Nugent-sky method...

Eat 5 servings of borscht, report to the conscription office, shart your pants in the middle of the process.
 
2022-09-22 6:07:27 PM  

Isitoveryet: neongoats: Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.

A lot of this. Russians don't deserve search engines.

at the very least force them to use Microsoft Bing.


Good god man. I didn't say torture them.
 
2022-09-22 6:08:22 PM  

Mcavity: Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.

In all honesty its not easy to turn off the net to a country.. you have to control all the gateways.


In theory Google could geofence the IP space but I am sure most of the citizens that are capable of knowing how to use the internet already use a VPN or other techniques to get around their own government. Then again I also would think if Google really wanted, they know exactly who is from Russia just by the data they collect and profiles they build and could just use that to block people. With the way tech works these days it's probably they just don't so they don't miss out on ad money but like I said earlier I would like to think they are collecting and sharing intelligence.
 
2022-09-22 6:11:54 PM  
"how to survive falling out a window"

Be this guy:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 6:16:49 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 6:21:03 PM  

Loucifer: Imagine the relief of taking off yesterday on a one way ticket out of Russia for all the military aged men who managed it. I'm sure they were all expecting to be stopped at the airport.


I wouldn't have relaxed until I had cleared immigration at whatever airport I had landed at. Remember that guy who was on a plane that Belarus forced to land so they could grab him?
Belarus forces airliner to land and arrests opponent, sparking U.S. and European outrage | Reuters
 
2022-09-22 6:21:46 PM  

moto-geek: tricycleracer: If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".

Or "how to pretend to be gay".


Bring someone along to sing a chorus of "Alice's Restaurant" with you. In harmony.
 
2022-09-22 6:23:03 PM  

moto-geek: Private_Citizen: Popular Google search in Ukraine: How to make a Molotov Cocktail
Popular Google search in Russia: How to get out of Russia

Technically doing off to die in Ukraine IS getting out of Russia.


Surrender to the nearest Ukrainian as soon as you get there and live.
 
2022-09-22 6:23:23 PM  
I like the part where they find out you still end up in the war with your broken arm.

That's going to suck.
 
2022-09-22 6:27:09 PM  

dbaggins: I like the part where they find out you still end up in the war with your broken arm.

That's going to suck.


They should have thought of that ahead of time.
 
2022-09-22 6:36:03 PM  
Get the fark out of here with this shiat article writer:
Fark user imageView Full Size

"If he succeeds".  Not happening. fark you.
 
2022-09-22 6:37:58 PM  
Honestly, if western allied countries want to help in a covert way here, getting young men the hell out of Russia, vetting them, and letting 'em start new lives somewhere else might not be the worst idea. Only question is where the ideal somewhere else would be.
 
2022-09-22 6:41:49 PM  

studebaker hoch: Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.

Yeah but where the heck is Russia going to get enough grain to make all that vodak?

Oh. my. god.....


Yeah, its a real mystery where Russia has a farkton of grain from, especially after the EU stopped importing it from them.
 
2022-09-22 6:42:52 PM  

neongoats: Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.

Well you can't eat tracksuits, crappy music, and jokes about Catherine the Great farking a horse.


You can if you have vodka enough.

Vodka has historically been used to solve a lot of problems in Russia, well, or make people not care because drunk.
 
2022-09-22 6:51:56 PM  
Vlad's speech yesterday:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Russian males aged 18-35:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 6:53:32 PM  
If I were a Russian and was conscripted, I would wait until I got to Ukraine front, shoot the compliance officer in my unit, and surrender to Ukraine.
 
2022-09-22 7:02:18 PM  

Don't Lag Me Bro: If I were a Russian and was conscripted, I would wait until I got to Ukraine front, shoot the compliance officer in my unit, and surrender to Ukraine.


Conscripted Russians have two choices: Surrender as soon as they enter Ukraine or fight and go home in a pine box.

As was said in the 2003 version of the Italian Job: "You don't mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, or motherfarking Ukrainians." Vlad is finding that out the hard way.
 
2022-09-22 7:06:29 PM  

dustman81: Don't Lag Me Bro: If I were a Russian and was conscripted, I would wait until I got to Ukraine front, shoot the compliance officer in my unit, and surrender to Ukraine.

Conscripted Russians have two choices: Surrender as soon as they enter Ukraine or fight and go home in a pine box.

As was said in the 2003 version of the Italian Job: "You don't mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, or motherfarking Ukrainians." Vlad is finding that out the hard way.


You're quite optimistic there, thinking that Russia would even bother to collect their dead.
 
2022-09-22 7:06:46 PM  

studebaker hoch: Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.

Yeah but where the heck is Russia going to get enough grain to make all that vodak?

Oh. my. god.....


Russia is one of the top sugar producers in the form of sugar beets... sugar -> alcohol.
 
2022-09-22 7:10:29 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 7:13:38 PM  

dustman81: Don't Lag Me Bro: If I were a Russian and was conscripted, I would wait until I got to Ukraine front, shoot the compliance officer in my unit, and surrender to Ukraine.

Conscripted Russians have two choices: Surrender as soon as they enter Ukraine or fight and go home in a pine box.

As was said in the 2003 version of the Italian Job: "You don't mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, or motherfarking Ukrainians." Vlad is finding that out the hard way.


Might only be one choice, I bet most if not all of those Russian captured that were just exchanged were sent right back out the door. That'd be a sucky situation but I guess they should have thought about that before attempting to fight the first go round and either revolted at home or defected to begin with.
 
2022-09-22 7:14:31 PM  

Loucifer: Imagine the relief of taking off yesterday on a one way ticket out of Russia for all the military aged men who managed it. I'm sure they were all expecting to be stopped at the airport.


Well, yeah. The sons of biatches are running away from a house fire they let happen and are hoping the rest of us can save the world from Putin's stupidity and evil. That's gotta be a weight off their shoulders.
 
2022-09-22 7:18:20 PM  
What do you call recent conscripts with a broken arm?   shock troops!
 
2022-09-22 7:20:14 PM  

neongoats: Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.

A lot of this. Russians don't deserve search engines.


in Russia, Google searches you
 
2022-09-22 7:21:27 PM  
Why is Google still working in Russia?  I thought Russia kicked them out and put up an Iron Wall to stop their citizens from accessing the real internet.
 
2022-09-22 7:44:12 PM  

moto-geek: tricycleracer: If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".

Or "how to pretend to be gay".


You don't want to be gay in Russia. What a sick joke.
 
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