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(MSN)   Popular "how to" Google searches in the USA: "fix a leaky toilet", "roast a chicken", "start a business". Popular "how to" searches in Russia: "break an arm", "leave Russia". Surprisingly no "how to survive falling out a window". Fail tag for Putin and his war   (msn.com) divider line
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1201 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2022 at 5:50 PM (25 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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Private_Citizen [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-09-22 5:04:51 PM  
Popular Google search in Ukraine: How to make a Molotov Cocktail
Popular Google search in Russia: How to get out of Russia
 
neongoats [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 5:33:28 PM  
Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"
 
Karma Chameleon
2022-09-22 5:52:38 PM  
 No shame in trying to get out of a bullshiat war. I'd do the same.
 
tricycleracer
2022-09-22 5:52:55 PM  
If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".
 
Isitoveryet
2022-09-22 5:55:37 PM  
why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.
 
moto-geek
2022-09-22 5:56:49 PM  

Private_Citizen: Popular Google search in Ukraine: How to make a Molotov Cocktail
Popular Google search in Russia: How to get out of Russia


Technically doing off to die in Ukraine IS getting out of Russia.
 
neongoats [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 5:57:31 PM  

Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.


A lot of this. Russians don't deserve search engines.
 
moto-geek
2022-09-22 5:57:33 PM  

tricycleracer: If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".


Or "how to pretend to be gay".
 
Begoggle
2022-09-22 5:57:54 PM  

Karma Chameleon: No shame in trying to get out of a bullshiat war. I'd do the same.


I assume you probably are or already did.
 
darinwil
2022-09-22 5:58:18 PM  

Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.


With the way they use other consumer products to "military" I wouldn't doubt it is actually a great intelligence source for Ukraine.
 
Mcavity
2022-09-22 5:58:25 PM  

Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.


In all honesty its not easy to turn off the net to a country.. you have to control all the gateways.
 
moto-geek
2022-09-22 5:58:32 PM  

moto-geek: tricycleracer: If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".

Or "how to pretend to be gay".



Fark user imageView Full Size
 
CarnySaur [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 5:59:55 PM  
From Twitter:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Squid_for_Brains [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 6:00:15 PM  

neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"


This is pretty accurate for much of Russian history, which sucks. They really need a new schtick.
 
Louisiana_Sitar_Club
2022-09-22 6:00:57 PM  
Photographer: Come on Vladie.  Show 'em you're not so bad.  Flash us a big smile!
Putin:Okay.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Loucifer
2022-09-22 6:02:13 PM  
Imagine the relief of taking off yesterday on a one way ticket out of Russia for all the military aged men who managed it. I'm sure they were all expecting to be stopped at the airport.
 
Karma Chameleon
2022-09-22 6:02:13 PM  

Begoggle: Karma Chameleon: No shame in trying to get out of a bullshiat war. I'd do the same.

I assume you probably are or already did.


I think i just turned old enough that I'd probably be fine. But you better believe if they had instituted a draft during the Iraq shiatshow I would've fled to Canada or shot myself in the foot or something. Fark that.
 
Ketchuponsteak
2022-09-22 6:03:56 PM  

neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"


No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.
 
Rage Against the Thorazine [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 6:04:12 PM  

Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.


That's a good point and it wouldn't be hard for Google to do that.
 
studebaker hoch
2022-09-22 6:04:29 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Photographer: Come on Vladie.  Show 'em you're not so bad.  Flash us a big smile!
Putin:Okay.
[Fark user image 384x254]


Looks like he bet on a fart and lost.
 
studebaker hoch
2022-09-22 6:05:19 PM  

Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.


Yeah but where the heck is Russia going to get enough grain to make all that vodak?

Oh. my. god.....
 
neongoats [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 6:06:14 PM  

Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.


Well you can't eat tracksuits, crappy music, and jokes about Catherine the Great farking a horse.
 
kbronsito
2022-09-22 6:06:28 PM  
I'm recovering from surgery for a proximal fracture of the humerus. Apparently, you can break an arm by falling weirdly while jogging. I was making great time too!
 
Isitoveryet
2022-09-22 6:06:34 PM  

neongoats: Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.

A lot of this. Russians don't deserve search engines.


at the very least force them to use Microsoft Bing.
 
RoyFokker'sGhost
2022-09-22 6:07:14 PM  
There's always the Ted Nugent-sky method...

Eat 5 servings of borscht, report to the conscription office, shart your pants in the middle of the process.
 
neongoats [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 6:07:27 PM  

Isitoveryet: neongoats: Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.

A lot of this. Russians don't deserve search engines.

at the very least force them to use Microsoft Bing.


Good god man. I didn't say torture them.
 
darinwil
2022-09-22 6:08:22 PM  

Mcavity: Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.

In all honesty its not easy to turn off the net to a country.. you have to control all the gateways.


In theory Google could geofence the IP space but I am sure most of the citizens that are capable of knowing how to use the internet already use a VPN or other techniques to get around their own government. Then again I also would think if Google really wanted, they know exactly who is from Russia just by the data they collect and profiles they build and could just use that to block people. With the way tech works these days it's probably they just don't so they don't miss out on ad money but like I said earlier I would like to think they are collecting and sharing intelligence.
 
Weatherkiss [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-09-22 6:11:54 PM  
"how to survive falling out a window"

Be this guy:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Red Shirt Blues
2022-09-22 6:16:49 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Carter Pewterschmidt [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 6:21:03 PM  

Loucifer: Imagine the relief of taking off yesterday on a one way ticket out of Russia for all the military aged men who managed it. I'm sure they were all expecting to be stopped at the airport.


I wouldn't have relaxed until I had cleared immigration at whatever airport I had landed at. Remember that guy who was on a plane that Belarus forced to land so they could grab him?
Belarus forces airliner to land and arrests opponent, sparking U.S. and European outrage | Reuters
 
Hoopy Frood
2022-09-22 6:21:46 PM  

moto-geek: tricycleracer: If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".

Or "how to pretend to be gay".


Bring someone along to sing a chorus of "Alice's Restaurant" with you. In harmony.
 
TwilightZone
2022-09-22 6:23:03 PM  

moto-geek: Private_Citizen: Popular Google search in Ukraine: How to make a Molotov Cocktail
Popular Google search in Russia: How to get out of Russia

Technically doing off to die in Ukraine IS getting out of Russia.


Surrender to the nearest Ukrainian as soon as you get there and live.
 
dbaggins
2022-09-22 6:23:23 PM  
I like the part where they find out you still end up in the war with your broken arm.

That's going to suck.
 
studebaker hoch
2022-09-22 6:27:09 PM  

dbaggins: I like the part where they find out you still end up in the war with your broken arm.

That's going to suck.


They should have thought of that ahead of time.
 
DOCTORD000M
2022-09-22 6:36:03 PM  
Get the fark out of here with this shiat article writer:
Fark user imageView Full Size

"If he succeeds".  Not happening. fark you.
 
Aetre [TotalFark]
2022-09-22 6:37:58 PM  
Honestly, if western allied countries want to help in a covert way here, getting young men the hell out of Russia, vetting them, and letting 'em start new lives somewhere else might not be the worst idea. Only question is where the ideal somewhere else would be.
 
Ketchuponsteak
2022-09-22 6:41:49 PM  

studebaker hoch: Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.

Yeah but where the heck is Russia going to get enough grain to make all that vodak?

Oh. my. god.....


Yeah, its a real mystery where Russia has a farkton of grain from, especially after the EU stopped importing it from them.
 
Ketchuponsteak
2022-09-22 6:42:52 PM  

neongoats: Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.

Well you can't eat tracksuits, crappy music, and jokes about Catherine the Great farking a horse.


You can if you have vodka enough.

Vodka has historically been used to solve a lot of problems in Russia, well, or make people not care because drunk.
 
dustman81
2022-09-22 6:51:56 PM  
Vlad's speech yesterday:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Russian males aged 18-35:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Don't Lag Me Bro
2022-09-22 6:53:32 PM  
If I were a Russian and was conscripted, I would wait until I got to Ukraine front, shoot the compliance officer in my unit, and surrender to Ukraine.
 
dustman81
2022-09-22 7:02:18 PM  

Don't Lag Me Bro: If I were a Russian and was conscripted, I would wait until I got to Ukraine front, shoot the compliance officer in my unit, and surrender to Ukraine.


Conscripted Russians have two choices: Surrender as soon as they enter Ukraine or fight and go home in a pine box.

As was said in the 2003 version of the Italian Job: "You don't mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, or motherfarking Ukrainians." Vlad is finding that out the hard way.
 
Claude Ballse
2022-09-22 7:06:29 PM  

dustman81: Don't Lag Me Bro: If I were a Russian and was conscripted, I would wait until I got to Ukraine front, shoot the compliance officer in my unit, and surrender to Ukraine.

Conscripted Russians have two choices: Surrender as soon as they enter Ukraine or fight and go home in a pine box.

As was said in the 2003 version of the Italian Job: "You don't mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, or motherfarking Ukrainians." Vlad is finding that out the hard way.


You're quite optimistic there, thinking that Russia would even bother to collect their dead.
 
Sleeper_agent
2022-09-22 7:06:46 PM  

studebaker hoch: Ketchuponsteak: neongoats: Soon it's going to be "how to eat delicious tree bark in a vain attempt to not starve to death"

And "how to heat your home with your own dung"

No its not. You just made that up, without knowing what Russia has, and what it doesn't have.

Other stuff Russia isn't going to run out of is vodka, since thats made from grain.

Yeah but where the heck is Russia going to get enough grain to make all that vodak?

Oh. my. god.....


Russia is one of the top sugar producers in the form of sugar beets... sugar -> alcohol.
 
KodosZardoz
2022-09-22 7:10:29 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
darinwil
2022-09-22 7:13:38 PM  

dustman81: Don't Lag Me Bro: If I were a Russian and was conscripted, I would wait until I got to Ukraine front, shoot the compliance officer in my unit, and surrender to Ukraine.

Conscripted Russians have two choices: Surrender as soon as they enter Ukraine or fight and go home in a pine box.

As was said in the 2003 version of the Italian Job: "You don't mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, or motherfarking Ukrainians." Vlad is finding that out the hard way.


Might only be one choice, I bet most if not all of those Russian captured that were just exchanged were sent right back out the door. That'd be a sucky situation but I guess they should have thought about that before attempting to fight the first go round and either revolted at home or defected to begin with.
 
toraque [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-09-22 7:14:31 PM  

Loucifer: Imagine the relief of taking off yesterday on a one way ticket out of Russia for all the military aged men who managed it. I'm sure they were all expecting to be stopped at the airport.


Well, yeah. The sons of biatches are running away from a house fire they let happen and are hoping the rest of us can save the world from Putin's stupidity and evil. That's gotta be a weight off their shoulders.
 
dbaggins
2022-09-22 7:18:20 PM  
What do you call recent conscripts with a broken arm?   shock troops!
 
munko
2022-09-22 7:20:14 PM  

neongoats: Isitoveryet: why haven't we turned Google off in Russia yet?

/admittedly, i have no idea how this works.

A lot of this. Russians don't deserve search engines.


in Russia, Google searches you
 
dbaggins
2022-09-22 7:21:27 PM  
Why is Google still working in Russia?  I thought Russia kicked them out and put up an Iron Wall to stop their citizens from accessing the real internet.
 
My Second Fark Account
2022-09-22 7:44:12 PM  

moto-geek: tricycleracer: If Google existed in America in 1969, it would be "move to Canada".

Or "how to pretend to be gay".


You don't want to be gay in Russia. What a sick joke.
 
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