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(CNN)   Putin can send 30 million troops for all we care: they'll be equipped with slingshots and Nerf guns   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Russia, Soviet Union, Russian President, facing Ukrainian guns, Russian military fail, Russian citizens, former quality control auditor, Untrained waves  
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3753 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2022 at 10:50 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-09-22 9:10:53 AM  
What does God cannon fodder need with a starship weapon?
 
2022-09-22 10:14:08 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 10:52:29 AM  
Point of order: if they are all reservists, haven't they already gotten whatever bullshiat training they were going to get in peacetime? Like, they'd be rusty, but not green.
 
2022-09-22 10:55:14 AM  
Perhaps...but there's no reason to assume that Putin's terminology is truthful or accurate. Chances are, the men he plans on nabbing haven't been trained worth a damn, if at all. See what former General Mark Hertling (who knows a thing or two about military training) has to say about the Russians and their training.

https://twitter.com/MarkHertling/status/1572571676524838915
 
2022-09-22 10:55:38 AM  

UberDave: [Fark user image image 500x375]


Doctor Whatsit really let himself go
 
2022-09-22 10:55:41 AM  
I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.
 
2022-09-22 10:56:18 AM  

Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.


... and no bullets
 
2022-09-22 10:56:49 AM  
"The recent Ukrainian offensive, which has seen Kyiv recapture thousands of square meters of territory, has taken a significant toll."

So like, they recaptured a couple soccer pitches?

Jesus CNN, half your "journalists" are offshore where they actually understand the metric system.
 
2022-09-22 10:59:08 AM  
Putin couldn't have destroyed Russia so effectively or completely for generations to come if he was a straight up Langley Agent.
 
2022-09-22 11:00:31 AM  
His goal isn't to train or support them. He's taking a page from Stalin's playbook.
 
2022-09-22 11:01:02 AM  
Maybe Ryu and Ken can supply them. According to Sagat, they are excellent at obtaining Nerf arms; I saw it in a movie once...
 
2022-09-22 11:02:17 AM  
If you can be human shield, then you can be human cannonball. Yeet for Motherland.
 
2022-09-22 11:02:31 AM  
Just unleash the nukes already.
 
2022-09-22 11:03:33 AM  

Mechanicum: Point of order: if they are all reservists, haven't they already gotten whatever bullshiat training they were going to get in peacetime? Like, they'd be rusty, but not green.


Counterpoint, they may be even less likely to play ball because they know the festering shiat they will be walking into.

Also, still doesn't solve logistics or gets them working as a team.
 
2022-09-22 11:03:54 AM  

Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 11:04:10 AM  

oldweasel: Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.

... and no bullets


Guy behind them has the bullets.
 
2022-09-22 11:04:41 AM  

H31N0US: "The recent Ukrainian offensive, which has seen Kyiv recapture thousands of square meters of territory, has taken a significant toll."

So like, they recaptured a couple soccer pitches?

Jesus CNN, half your "journalists" are offshore where they actually understand the metric system.


Right? What about several kilometers?
 
2022-09-22 11:05:45 AM  
They'll just do it the traditional Russian way- the guys in front have guns, the guys behind get a gun when the guys in the front get killed.  Much more efficient than giving everyone a gun.
 
2022-09-22 11:10:20 AM  

Natalie Portmanteau: oldweasel: Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.

... and no bullets

Guy behind them has the bullets.


One of my uncles was a korean war vet.
He said the chinese did that.
First wave all had rifles, second wave about half had rifles, third wave none had rifles.
They were expected to arm themselves from the dead.
 
2022-09-22 11:10:21 AM  

Mechanicum: Point of order: if they are all reservists, haven't they already gotten whatever bullshiat training they were going to get in peacetime? Like, they'd be rusty, but not green.


Maybe, but what about the officer corps? I doubt they have enough for that many soldiers at the platoon or even company level.
 
2022-09-22 11:11:08 AM  
Remember that scene from Braveheart where the Irish run into battle and then just shake hands with everyone?
 
2022-09-22 11:11:15 AM  

oldweasel: Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.

... and no bullets


That's cause Americans bought all of the bullets on cheapammo.com.


/yes, I did as well
//nothing like two cans of corrosive ammo that need an actual can opener to get into
///it's fun to shoot with iron sights
 
TWX
2022-09-22 11:11:54 AM  
The Russians will just switch to tactics they've learned from the West:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-22 11:12:01 AM  

Mechanicum: Point of order: if they are all reservists, haven't they already gotten whatever bullshiat training they were going to get in peacetime? Like, they'd be rusty, but not green.


Russian training standards are nothing like Western ones. They are barely allowed to use ammo to train. Reservists might as well be green.
 
2022-09-22 11:13:23 AM  
Zerg Rush only works in StarCraft
 
TWX
2022-09-22 11:14:14 AM  

functionisalwaystaken: //nothing like two cans of corrosive ammo that need an actual can opener to get into


If you don't use the rifles or the ammo until it's war-of-attrition time, and you don't expect the rifle to survive more than a few weeks or months on the battlefield, it doesn't really matter how corrosive the ammunition is to the rifle, does it?
 
2022-09-22 11:15:07 AM  
Any daily regulars enjoy the source bingo in this link?

ISW

Trent Telenko

Oryx

Mark Hertling

/ I'm counting the damned free space
 
2022-09-22 11:15:28 AM  

docgrog: They'll just do it the traditional Russian way- the guys in front have guns, the guys behind get a gun when the guys in the front get killed.  Much more efficient than giving everyone a gun.


That was just a movie.

The traditional Russian way is that the guys in the back have the guns, and they're aiming at the guys in front if they try to surrender or retreat.
 
2022-09-22 11:15:32 AM  

Mechanicum: Point of order: if they are all reservists, haven't they already gotten whatever bullshiat training they were going to get in peacetime? Like, they'd be rusty, but not green.


emphasis on BS


The only people participating with any morale right now are the internal security forces pushing all these men onto buses. Because it's a situation of "them or me".
 
2022-09-22 11:15:49 AM  
...  What is georgia going to  do with 30 more million citizens?
 
Xai
2022-09-22 11:15:54 AM  
You need to realise what a lot of this was about: most of the current soldiers in Ukraine had already gone past the end of their contract, many were trying to go home.

With this move putin can extend their service indefinitely against their will. That's why he did it now.
 
2022-09-22 11:16:11 AM  

Fano: Putin couldn't have destroyed Russia so effectively or completely for generations to come if he was a straight up Langley Agent.


He's acting more and more like TFG every day
 
2022-09-22 11:17:45 AM  

Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.


Hey, that rifle shoots just fine. It also saves on ammo because the infantry will aim each shot instead of just spraying.
 
2022-09-22 11:18:11 AM  

FormlessOne: His goal isn't to train or support them. He's taking a page from Stalin's playbook.


Statin's playbook wasn't designed for artillery that can turn hundreds of square meters into an instant kill zone.
 
2022-09-22 11:19:31 AM  
I just had a shocking vision, an epiphany I'd you will, of how this is all going to all play out. It may not happen today, or maybe never next week. But it will happen soon, mark my words.

Putin at some point, in an effort to boost troop morale, will bravely scamper out of his coward compound and go out into the wild, and speak before the troops that REALLY don't want to be there. With a row of beefy guards sandwiched between him and the cannon fodder, he will give a speech. A powerful, eloquent and empassioned speech that to everyone bit him sounds like the dim witted ravings of a constipated egomaniacal dementia addled idiot. And I'm the middle of this speech, he'll feel the deep seated need for a big gesture, something that will spark rousing patriotism and enthusiasm in the crowd, and he'll give the tank beside him, whatever bucket if cobbled together scraps they have remaining at this point,  a good hearty slap. That winds up really being a few affectionate pats  And this simple but powerful act only results in a lot of eye rolling from the crowd and Putin dying from tetanus not long afterwards.
Mic drop. Book it, done.
 
2022-09-22 11:19:57 AM  

Natalie Portmanteau: Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.

[Fark user image 425x318]


"Scratch that, we have no bullets. New method: when the one in front with the rifle gets killed, the one behind picks up the rifle and waves it menacingly."
 
2022-09-22 11:20:13 AM  

functionisalwaystaken: oldweasel: Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.

... and no bullets

That's cause Americans bought all of the bullets on cheapammo.com.


/yes, I did as well
//nothing like two cans of corrosive ammo that need an actual can opener to get into
///it's fun to shoot with iron sights


Ammo sexuals have been buying up the Russian ammo stockpiles for decades.
 
2022-09-22 11:22:35 AM  
bring up the Twelve Pounders!
- all the horses are dead here, sir
bring 'em up by mule then
- all the mules are dead here, sir
well bring 'em up by hand, boys
- all the battery men are dead here, sir
well I need them Twelve Pounders
- there ain't no artillery left here, sir
 
2022-09-22 11:23:42 AM  

Palined Parenthood: If you can be human shield, then you can be human cannonball. Yeet for Motherland.


I remember hearing stories that during WWII, Russian field commanders would march platoons across rivers rather than deviate from operational orders. Of course, most of the troops didn't know how to swim and ended up drowning.
 
2022-09-22 11:25:55 AM  

Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.


What, again?
 
2022-09-22 11:27:29 AM  

UberDave: [Fark user image 500x375]


... I own every nerf gun that guy is wearing.
 
2022-09-22 11:28:23 AM  

Fano: Putin couldn't have destroyed Russia so effectively or completely for generations to come if he was a straight up Langley Agent.


China couldn't have wished for a better outcome either.  Didn't Putin just meet with Xi last week?

I'm guessing Xi told him to pound sand and he'll see him again in a year or two to offer pennies  on the dollar for mineral leasing rights in Eastern Russia.
 
2022-09-22 11:28:40 AM  

madgonad: Ethertap: I wouldn't be shocked if they get sent to Ukraine with 70 year old mosin-nagant (bolt action) rifles from WWII.

Hey, that rifle shoots just fine. It also saves on ammo because the infantry will aim each shot instead of just spraying.


His body will be shaking too much with fear to aim on a target
 
2022-09-22 11:28:51 AM  

exqqqme: Palined Parenthood: If you can be human shield, then you can be human cannonball. Yeet for Motherland.

I remember hearing stories that during WWII, Russian field commanders would march platoons across rivers rather than deviate from operational orders. Of course, most of the troops didn't know how to swim and ended up drowning.


farking wow.
and they owned our president just a couple years ago.
how far we've fallen
 
2022-09-22 11:28:54 AM  

btch_cakes: bring up the Twelve Pounders!
- all the horses are dead here, sir
bring 'em up by mule then
- all the mules are dead here, sir
well bring 'em up by hand, boys
- all the battery men are dead here, sir
well I need them Twelve Pounders
- there ain't no artillery left here, sir


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

This is an epochal moment.

These are the sorts of things that you war game and cannot believe you are making your kid brother be an inept version of the Washington Generals.
 
2022-09-22 11:29:26 AM  

Mister Buttons: Fano: Putin couldn't have destroyed Russia so effectively or completely for generations to come if he was a straight up Langley Agent.

China couldn't have wished for a better outcome either.  Didn't Putin just meet with Xi last week?

I'm guessing Xi told him to pound sand and he'll see him again in a year or two to offer pennies  on the dollar for mineral leasing rights in Eastern Russia.


I hope he cackled like Glomgold
 
TWX
2022-09-22 11:30:06 AM  

OptimisticCynicism: Mechanicum: Point of order: if they are all reservists, haven't they already gotten whatever bullshiat training they were going to get in peacetime? Like, they'd be rusty, but not green.

Russian training standards are nothing like Western ones. They are barely allowed to use ammo to train. Reservists might as well be green.


It sounds like Russia historically used its military conscripts in a fashion like America uses prison, as cheap labor that doesn't really have anything to do with the reason for being there.

So Conscript Ivanovich shows up, he's 'taught' how to stand in line or formation, how to put on his uniform, how to march in something approximating a formation, possibly how to carry a rifle on his shoulder along with a bunch of other miscellaneous crap to simulate the pack burden, then he's sent-off for hazing and/or manual labor.

I do oversimplify, but probably not to enough of a degree that it's entirely unrecognizable.
 
2022-09-22 11:30:12 AM  

UberDave: [Fark user image 500x375]


#bestlife
 
2022-09-22 11:31:45 AM  
You can still poke a lot of eyes out with slingshots and Nerf guns!
 
2022-09-22 11:33:04 AM  
Well, more accurately, the Russian off-brand version of Nerf: "Nyerf"
 
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