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(Yahoo)   Did you learn to shoot? Can you march in formation? Did you ride on a great big boat? Congratulations, you're qualified to teach kids   (news.yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Teacher, United States, United States Department of Education, Florida teachers, National Education Association, Education, School, Education in the United States  
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658 clicks; posted to STEM » on 13 Sep 2022 at 10:15 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-13 9:46:32 AM  
A big boat? Will there be lots of boat drinks?
 
2022-09-13 9:51:25 AM  
They will be screaming MAGAts a lot
 
2022-09-13 9:52:47 AM  
Jumbo shrimp
 
2022-09-13 9:56:20 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


The mitary has plenty of qualified instructors.
 
2022-09-13 9:58:25 AM  
Elsewhere across the United States as school resumed this August and September, districts have beamed virtual teachers into classrooms from several states away and offered bonuses to lure back retirees.

They're trying to get my dad to teach back in my home town. He's currently subbing (As a thing to stave off boredom, I guess), but they want him to come in as a full time teacher.

/Apparently, he got a teaching certificate at some point, so it makes some sense at least.
//Not that he's taught Chemistry, what they want him to teach
///He's subbing History and Art.
 
2022-09-13 9:58:47 AM  

OneDayWhat: [Fark user image image 323x750]

The mitary has plenty of qualified instructors.


Here's an awesome project a kid who was instructed by your standard issue grunt came up with
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-13 10:18:31 AM  
Certain government agencies will hire you for anything, as long as you're either a former police officer, or a  veteran.  Not qualified?  Doesn't matter.  Big fat asshole?  Doesn't matter.  You're hired!
 
2022-09-13 10:19:04 AM  
Son, we need to talk about your map assignment. Yes, Texas does have steers, but...
 
2022-09-13 10:23:59 AM  
Subby, I learned to shoot, march in formation, and sail in Boy Scouts. Does that mean I am qualified?

J/k, I am more qualified than most in the military would be.

/Certified to teach grades 6-12 history, political science, geography, psychology, grades 9-12 computer science and culinary arts, grades 6-8 science.
// After passing all the content exams, noped out of student teaching because the administration sucked, and learning is no longer the objective in public schools. Profits from football >education.
 
2022-09-13 10:25:36 AM  
I'll never figure out this strange obsession this country has with its military people. Either we're all heroes and deserve some kind of strange worship. Or we're broken parts of the military machine and can be tossed away without much thought.
 
2022-09-13 10:32:17 AM  
Teaching still beneath the dignity of right-wingers.  Teaching acknowledges there are things that can be tought instead of simply felt or believed.
 
2022-09-13 10:36:29 AM  

WhackingDay: I'll never figure out this strange obsession this country has with its military people. Either we're all heroes and deserve some kind of strange worship. Or we're broken parts of the military machine and can be tossed away without much thought.


(younglatingirl.jpg)

/back in my Army days I attended and later taught enough classes that I 'could' probably do it in a public school setting with a reasonable amount of success.  However just because I could that certainly doesn't mean I should
//much like I 'could' go rob a local bank, the consequences of such an action prevent me from doing so
 
2022-09-13 10:39:22 AM  

PTP_Professor: Subby, I learned to shoot, march in formation, and sail in Boy Scouts. Does that mean I am qualified?

J/k, I am more qualified than most in the military would be.

/Certified to teach grades 6-12 history, political science, geography, psychology, grades 9-12 computer science and culinary arts, grades 6-8 science.
// After passing all the content exams, noped out of student teaching because the administration sucked, and learning is no longer the objective in public schools. Profits from football >education.


I bet you can also bench press 350 and drive a new BMW M series
 
2022-09-13 10:43:39 AM  
The law gives qualifying veterans a five-year teaching certificate and allows them to work as teachers while they earn their bachelor's degrees.

I can't put into words how strange this sentence feels.
 
2022-09-13 10:46:51 AM  
In movies, showing teachers as being military veterans is one way to foreshadow society's collapse.
 
2022-09-13 10:48:54 AM  

WhackingDay: I'll never figure out this strange obsession this country has with its military people. Either we're all heroes and deserve some kind of strange worship. Or we're broken parts of the military machine and can be tossed away without much thought.


Veteran here, and you're correct.  A lot of my peers and seniors while on Active Duty were either raging a-holes, dumber than dirt, or serious mental cases.  The military is a cross-section of society, and our society has some serious issues.
 
2022-09-13 10:56:03 AM  

Azlefty: PTP_Professor: Subby, I learned to shoot, march in formation, and sail in Boy Scouts. Does that mean I am qualified?

J/k, I am more qualified than most in the military would be.

/Certified to teach grades 6-12 history, political science, geography, psychology, grades 9-12 computer science and culinary arts, grades 6-8 science.
// After passing all the content exams, noped out of student teaching because the administration sucked, and learning is no longer the objective in public schools. Profits from football >education.

I bet you can also bench press 350 and drive a new BMW M series


No and no. Can't even bench press my own weight due to spinal issues. BMW is too pricey for my tastes, although it was a blast to get to autocross one last year. To be brutally honest, the content exams are stupidly easy to take, and encompass multiple grade levels, so you don't have to take a different test for each grade. Having a degree in computer science made that test stupid easy, as did 6 years of culinary experience at the time I took the test. I was in school for a History Education degree, which required me to be able to pass the content exams for the history, political science, and geography. Psychology was the hardest, as I didn't pay attention in the class, and had no interest. The middle grades science was next hardest, because I didn't go to school for it. I took that just to appease my parents (dad is a biologist, stepmom is an entomologist)
 
2022-09-13 10:56:49 AM  
great big boats? they're ships,subby

/boats go on ships
 
2022-09-13 11:00:13 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/should toughen up them kindergartners
 
2022-09-13 11:11:51 AM  
Although to be fair, if you know better than to piss in a sink, then you are probably overqualified to teach most Florida children.
 
2022-09-13 11:14:31 AM  
Now that our teacher shortage has been taken care of - can we use the same template to fix healthcare?

/Don't like or trust veterans on the basis of them being veterans.
//Really dislike veterans who've made it the cornerstone of their identity.
///Am veteran
 
2022-09-13 11:24:31 AM  

OneDayWhat: OneDayWhat: [Fark user image image 323x750]

The mitary has plenty of qualified instructors.

Here's an awesome project a kid who was instructed by your standard issue grunt came up with[Fark user image image 425x147]


So we started to do that one day in high school shop class.  We were seeing who could drive a nail in furthest in one hit.

Mr Mateer went and lined up 6 nails, tapping them in slightly so they were in straight, then proceeded to submerge every one of them in a single hit.  He passed one of the other guys at the table the hammer and said 'now take them all out' then walked away.

Pretty sure he was a Vietnam or Korean vet.  I know Mr Avondet, the teacher who taught engine repair was.

But I was going to mention the potential problems with vets as teachers who aren't prepared for it.  I don't think it was known that Bob Ross was a military vet when this comedian did his act:

Joey Kola stand-up (1991)
Youtube PbCo-qMswwk
 
2022-09-13 11:25:24 AM  

WhackingDay: I'll never figure out this strange obsession this country has with its military people. Either we're all heroes and deserve some kind of strange worship. Or we're broken parts of the military machine and can be tossed away without much thought.


It's because they don't care about you as a person or even what you did or suffered, they care about the position and what they imagine you did there. They only care about what they imagine and you are the actor playing the part.

My sympathies about that. If you were underpaid and put into harsh conditions to help society thanks for sticking with it for however long you did.
 
2022-09-13 11:31:40 AM  
Is teaching first and second grade significantly more difficult now than it was? The majority of sentient adults could teach first grade.
 
2022-09-13 11:34:43 AM  

WhackingDay: I'll never figure out this strange obsession this country has with its military people. Either we're all heroes and deserve some kind of strange worship. Or we're broken parts of the military machine and can be tossed away without much thought.


It was on or before 9/11.

I don't think they even bothered televising the national anthem at sports events before that, but suddenly it became critically important for people to stand and show their respect for the flag.

There was some asshole who assaulted the guy in front of him for not standing ... because the guy was disabled (might've been a disabled vet)

It seemed to be about that time when you had to be all on for the military, no matter what they did, or you weren't considered a 'patriot'

/military brat
//had to go through a lot of shiat in the 80s as the new kid if we didn't go to DoDDS schools
///and it was in what are now known as 'red states'
 
2022-09-13 11:35:54 AM  

drewogatory: Is teaching first and second grade significantly more difficult now than it was? The majority of sentient adults could teach first grade.


You have to actually care about children, and not be an asshole.

Many Americans fail those qualifications
 
2022-09-13 11:41:43 AM  

Oneiros: drewogatory: Is teaching first and second grade significantly more difficult now than it was? The majority of sentient adults could teach first grade.

You have to actually care about children, and not be an asshole.

Many Americans fail those qualifications


I never claimed I could do it. But any adult that can tolerate children probably could.
 
2022-09-13 11:44:22 AM  
Don't forget... They're also letting Dependas become teachers as well.
 
2022-09-13 11:53:04 AM  

drewogatory: Oneiros: drewogatory: Is teaching first and second grade significantly more difficult now than it was? The majority of sentient adults could teach first grade.

You have to actually care about children, and not be an asshole.

Many Americans fail those qualifications

I never claimed I could do it. But any adult that can tolerate children probably could.


I was commenting on the 'majority of sentient adults' not you personally.

I spent a few days with a friend and her 7 year old a few weeks ago, and although I suspect that he has ADHD, I would be terrified at having a full class of students like that.

I would go off on the kids if I had to deal with that day after day for months at a time.

Teachers are underpaid because we take advantage of people who are 'passionate' about the job, and want to spend time with kids.  If you're not willing to pay more, you need to fix the problems that are causing people to not take the jobs or to resign-- asshole parents, disruptive students, lack of respect by politicians, etc.

And that's no quick fix, as you can't just magically wave a wand and turn someone into a good teacher.  Odds are, these people are going to be glorified substitutes, maybe teaching a syllabus that someone else came up with.

But then again, that might not be a horrible thing... hire some people to write good lesson plans for the kids, and take some of that load off the individual teachers
 
2022-09-13 11:55:45 AM  

drewogatory: Is teaching first and second grade significantly more difficult now than it was? The majority of sentient adults could teach first grade.


Next you'll be telling me that the majority of sentient adults are good parents.

/They're not
//Wrangling a room full of tiny people without murder is a skill
 
2022-09-13 12:00:34 PM  

SecondaryControl: drewogatory: Is teaching first and second grade significantly more difficult now than it was? The majority of sentient adults could teach first grade.

Next you'll be telling me that the majority of sentient adults are good parents.

/They're not
//Wrangling a room full of tiny people without murder is a skill


True, it's not like you can even vicariously enjoy some harmless dodge ball and red rover at recess either.
 
2022-09-13 12:14:04 PM  

Oneiros: It was on or before 9/11.


Yeah, I think you're right. When the Patriot Act hit and we suddenly decided we needed a Dept. of Homeland Security. Now everyone is trying to out patriot each other. Look at me, I can wave the flag harder than you.
 
2022-09-13 12:28:51 PM  

drewogatory: Is teaching first and second grade significantly more difficult now than it was? The majority of sentient adults could teach first grade.


But... could they do it without killing a few of the little shiats? Doubtful
 
2022-09-13 12:31:51 PM  
Training kids for the future career, I don't see a problem with this. Might as well teach them the answers to the ASVAB, how to apply for food stamps, etc.

Lets get them little uniforms, fake guns, and give them nothing but PT training. We don't really need literate soldiers. Combat infantry for 95% of them. Ground pounders, and obedient little soldiers.

Lets lower the draft age to say 10. Females can still be drafted as RPNs, don't need much training to change field dressings.
 
2022-09-13 1:02:18 PM  

AlphaG33k: Training kids for the future career, I don't see a problem with this. Might as well teach them the answers to the ASVAB, how to apply for food stamps, etc.

Lets get them little uniforms, fake guns, and give them nothing but PT training. We don't really need literate soldiers. Combat infantry for 95% of them. Ground pounders, and obedient little soldiers.

Lets lower the draft age to say 10. Females can still be drafted as RPNs, don't need much training to change field dressings.


Turns out that combat arms units I've worked with in the course of my employment are finding that traditional literacy and technological literacy are a bottleneck. The military really is a cross-section of people and the average literacy level is beneath the current requirements for plans, evaluations, asseasments, etc.

I also recall that my grandfather was a Sailor in WWII and became a math teach under a similar program in 1945-46.  He was also a colossal asshole, but the Navy didn't have much part in that I suspect.
 
2022-09-13 1:59:16 PM  
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2022-09-13 1:59:36 PM  
That is the dumbest thing DeSantis has ever come up with and that's saying something.

High school orientation

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-13 3:33:48 PM  
My father was a Marine who entered service in the late 1930's.  He liked to to tell a story about a pre-WWII Marine Corp Gunny who had my young father under his wing.  Apparently, a regular requirement at the time was the reading of a Navy regulation called "Rocks and Shoals" to formations of enlisted men.  Rocks and Shoals was Articles for the Government of the U.S. Navy.  It was replaced by the Uniform Code of Military Justice in 1951.

At one such formation, the Gunny, who couldn't read, was taking a crack at the Rocks and Shoals and not doing well at it.  After a bit of stammering and stumbling, he dropped the little book to his side and said, "Oh, Hell with it.  don't lie, don't steal, don't sleep on guard duty, and.....whatever you do, don't get yourself in any goddamn Navy brig.  You ain't nothin in a goddamn Navy brig."

My father thought that was hilarious and usually added that that Gunny had a very good grasp of the important parts of the Rocks and Shoals as it would apply to junior enlisted Marines.

Maybe they could dig up that old Marine and let him teach English Composition or something.
 
2022-09-14 8:24:28 AM  
"Welcome to Human Biology. I am your teacher, Sergeant Pocksmear. Let's get started. This, kids, is a rifle, while this *zip* is a gun. Now this one is for shooting..."
 
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