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(Daily Voice)   Connecticut man arrested after pulling off the greatest feat of multitasking ever   (dailyvoice.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Connecticut, Arrest, Hartford County, Connecticut, Hartford, Connecticut, Arrest warrant, resident Emmanuel Martinez-Morales, community members, course of several days  
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3833 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Sep 2022 at 1:25 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



40 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-02 9:29:33 PM  
FTFA:  "CT Man Wanted For Masturbating On Trails While Skateboarding Apprehended, Police Say"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-02 9:38:00 PM  
Single ladies, line forms to the left.
 
2022-09-02 9:50:33 PM  
I guess skate boarding can be a crime, if you do it that way
 
2022-09-02 9:50:35 PM  
Connecticut man arrested after pulling off the greatest feat of multitasking ever


I dunno. There was some good competition in multitasking today:

https://www.fark.com/comments/12541228/Multitasking-is-illegal-in-Texas#new
 
2022-09-02 11:42:31 PM  
Tony Cock
 
2022-09-02 11:45:55 PM  
I can't say I would have guessed skateboarding but I would have bet my non existent 401k that beating off was in there somewhere.
 
2022-09-03 12:13:54 AM  
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nabbed eh?  rather you than me
 
2022-09-03 1:31:34 AM  
the man bun. why any fellow wants to look like an Italian grandmother from Paterson NJ mystifies me.
 
2022-09-03 1:32:12 AM  
Why y'all gotta kink shame...
 
2022-09-03 1:33:28 AM  
the next story was even better: (dim the lights)

but then when I reloaded the page I couldn't find the story on the guy who started crying and throwing a tantrum because someone added peanuts to his sons drink, unbeknownst to them having a *sniff* peanut allergy

/soilt brats
 
2022-09-03 1:34:10 AM  
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skeet skeet skeet
 
2022-09-03 1:38:01 AM  
Holy fark that's a rough 30!
 
2022-09-03 1:38:56 AM  

sinko swimo: the man bun. why any fellow wants to look like an Italian grandmother from Paterson NJ mystifies me.


Because no one messes with an Italian grandmother from Patterson, NJ!
 
2022-09-03 1:39:40 AM  
Oh man.  I thought he was coming into some good things. He  never should have moved back east.  It makes you crazy.

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-03 1:41:09 AM  
It'd be more impressive if he was also swigging cranberry juice from the jug while lip syncing.
 
2022-09-03 1:41:56 AM  

cryinoutloud: Oh man.  I thought he was coming into some good things. He  never should have moved back east.  It makes you crazy.

[external-content.duckduckgo.com image 421x236]


Ya beat me fair and square.
 
2022-09-03 1:48:37 AM  
Dunno, think this one has him beat.

Hardcore White Boy shitting while Skateboarding.
Youtube FT0TfUkq6NQ
 
2022-09-03 1:51:52 AM  
He was going for the extremely dangerous Hang Eleven trick
 
2022-09-03 1:55:28 AM  
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2022-09-03 2:13:26 AM  
Was he wearing a helmet?

Either

/Safety third
 
2022-09-03 2:37:30 AM  
Cum or die
 
2022-09-03 2:42:57 AM  
On a hiking trail? He's lucky he didn't get run down by a biker in spandex.
 
2022-09-03 3:00:53 AM  
So dude was off-road skateboarding with his pants down? There used to be a TV show for guys like him.

Thrillseekers (with Chuck Conners) TV theme with Pete Smith v/o at end.
Youtube jQFK7Fd2O6A
 
2022-09-03 3:11:56 AM  
"while skateboarding to trail walkers"

What a monster.
 
2022-09-03 3:19:35 AM  
"An arrest warrant was applied for and granted. Shortly after Martinez-Morales turned himself in to the police, Egan added."

In what order? Jeebus, if only there was a thing where we agreed on how to use English, then we could teach it to folks instead of having the wild west, anything goes condition of internet journalism.

We could communicate with each other, convey information, and really make use of all this bandwidth.
 
2022-09-03 3:22:04 AM  
I conquer, it was  a horribly-phrased paragraph telling me not much more than I already... gnu

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2022-09-03 3:34:31 AM  
Where will you be when the Molly kicks in?
 
2022-09-03 4:26:11 AM  
They caught him beet red handed
 
2022-09-03 4:33:58 AM  
sk8ter boi
 
2022-09-03 4:41:43 AM  

Sluggy: sk8ter boi


Sk8er B8er
 
2022-09-03 4:49:46 AM  
Read an article a long time ago about some guy in NY that was flashing, cops saw him, tried to apprehend, he ran.  The weird part being the article claimed he kept masturbating while he was running, for 4 blocks.  How in the hell do you even when you're running at all seriously?  I never could quite mentally process that one, which honestly is probably for the best

/whole new meaning to people complaining about joggers being jerks
 
2022-09-03 5:09:32 AM  
A Connecticut wanker in Southington Court.
 
2022-09-03 5:31:16 AM  
And juggling with the other hand
 
2022-09-03 5:35:35 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Where will you be when the Molly kicks in?


Swear that was the most disappointing drug I ever had.
 
2022-09-03 5:35:52 AM  

drxym: And juggling with the other hand


Meh, juggling two balls is easy
 
2022-09-03 5:52:18 AM  
So he was gleaming the cube?
 
2022-09-03 8:22:51 AM  
Police:  Can you describe him?

Victim:  Um, he was Hispanic, unshaven, with a mustache, weird ear piercings, tattoos on his chest and forehead, black hair but tied in a blonde tinted bun in the back, and riding on a skateboard.  Sorry, I can't be more specific.  I hope that's enough to catch him.
 
2022-09-03 8:56:48 AM  
There's NO way a guy with a neck tattoo lives in Cheshire.
 
2022-09-03 9:29:18 AM  
"You call that a nose-bone? Here, let me show you a REAL nose-bone..."
 
2022-09-03 9:29:44 AM  
Things keep getting weirder everyday.
 
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