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(Lifehacker)   Do you like pizza rolls, but hate the convenience of dumping frozen ones out of the bag onto a tray?   (lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Sauce, Soybean, Campania, Neapolitan cuisine, Soy milk, Pizza, Tofu, Tofu puffs  
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973 clicks; posted to Food » on 01 Sep 2022 at 7:30 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-01 7:54:52 PM  
I don't think she understands how nutrition works.
 
2022-09-01 7:55:14 PM  
media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-01 8:43:59 PM  
yo CLAIRE, we can see you......

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-01 8:54:13 PM  
fark that a friend has the best way of doing pizza rolls... get a package of crescent dough. Spread those farkers with marinara, add stick of mozz cheese sticks. Wrap em up garlic and butter. Oven.

It's infinitely better with left over home made marinara, but my nephews and neice would sneak the shiat out of em before the adults did when I made em in Ohio.

It's a damn pizza roll not a health snack.

STILL NOT HOW YOU MAKE GAINS CLAIRE 
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-01 8:54:17 PM  
Has anyone heard anything from tintar lately?  I'm afraid the answer is going to be no.  I miss the dude.
 
2022-09-01 8:56:30 PM  

Warthog: Has anyone heard anything from tintar lately?  I'm afraid the answer is going to be no.  I miss the dude.


no. and fully agreed
 
2022-09-01 9:34:03 PM  

Axeofjudgement: fark that a friend has the best way of doing pizza rolls... get a package of crescent dough. Spread those farkers with marinara, add stick of mozz cheese sticks. Wrap em up garlic and butter. Oven.

It's infinitely better with left over home made marinara, but my nephews and neice would sneak the shiat out of em before the adults did when I made em in Ohio.

It's a damn pizza roll not a health snack.

STILL NOT HOW YOU MAKE GAINS CLAIRE [Fark user image 225x225]


see, it's fine to make yummy family/friend foods. just don't pretend it's weightloss food.

and REMEMBER yummy food can be -uhmm- NOT an entire half stick-o-butter-terrine, ms claire.....

man, she makes me TIRED.
 
2022-09-01 9:42:48 PM  
You do know you can buy frozen pizza rolls in handy serving-sized trays?

Difficulty: Their idea of a serving.
 
2022-09-01 9:43:54 PM  

luna1580: Axeofjudgement: fark that a friend has the best way of doing pizza rolls... get a package of crescent dough. Spread those farkers with marinara, add stick of mozz cheese sticks. Wrap em up garlic and butter. Oven.

It's infinitely better with left over home made marinara, but my nephews and neice would sneak the shiat out of em before the adults did when I made em in Ohio.

It's a damn pizza roll not a health snack.

STILL NOT HOW YOU MAKE GAINS CLAIRE [Fark user image 225x225]

see, it's fine to make yummy family/friend foods. just don't pretend it's weightloss food.

and REMEMBER yummy food can be -uhmm- NOT an entire half stick-o-butter-terrine, ms claire.....

man, she makes me TIRED.


I actually would like to do a side by side with Claire and how to do this correctly and go for building muscle.

She's so half assedly promoting shiat while doing the third party disclaimer "but I'm doing this"
 
2022-09-01 9:46:01 PM  

Axeofjudgement: luna1580: Axeofjudgement: fark that a friend has the best way of doing pizza rolls... get a package of crescent dough. Spread those farkers with marinara, add stick of mozz cheese sticks. Wrap em up garlic and butter. Oven.

It's infinitely better with left over home made marinara, but my nephews and neice would sneak the shiat out of em before the adults did when I made em in Ohio.

It's a damn pizza roll not a health snack.

STILL NOT HOW YOU MAKE GAINS CLAIRE [Fark user image 225x225]

see, it's fine to make yummy family/friend foods. just don't pretend it's weightloss food.

and REMEMBER yummy food can be -uhmm- NOT an entire half stick-o-butter-terrine, ms claire.....

man, she makes me TIRED.

I actually would like to do a side by side with Claire and how to do this correctly and go for building muscle.

She's so half assedly promoting shiat while doing the third party disclaimer "but I'm doing this"


It's like watching a caterpillar wannabe Ragen Chastain bloom into an abomination of a butterfly with ravenous followers
 
2022-09-01 9:57:13 PM  

Axeofjudgement: luna1580: Axeofjudgement: fark that a friend has the best way of doing pizza rolls... get a package of crescent dough. Spread those farkers with marinara, add stick of mozz cheese sticks. Wrap em up garlic and butter. Oven.

It's infinitely better with left over home made marinara, but my nephews and neice would sneak the shiat out of em before the adults did when I made em in Ohio.

It's a damn pizza roll not a health snack.

STILL NOT HOW YOU MAKE GAINS CLAIRE [Fark user image 225x225]

see, it's fine to make yummy family/friend foods. just don't pretend it's weightloss food.

and REMEMBER yummy food can be -uhmm- NOT an entire half stick-o-butter-terrine, ms claire.....

man, she makes me TIRED.

I actually would like to do a side by side with Claire and how to do this correctly and go for building muscle.

She's so half assedly promoting shiat while doing the third party disclaimer "but I'm doing this"


i'm about to come down on the side of "CLAIRE is still telling us a dishonest 'autobiography' of food"

because i once self-harmed by reading ALL her lifehacker posts, in order, like a year ago.....

i gleaned she was a latch-key only child of a single mom in rural mississippi......who also had a wild animal vet dad she loves hanging around.

she was forced to feed herself as an only child of a single mom......who had younger identical twin kid sisters in the kitchen too.

she's a 34 YO "decade long" food writer who also just had a BS in chem from uni of florida much less than 10 years ago, tampa location.

she's a protein mad power lifter who also wants us to eat pure butter and mayo 3 times/day......

-see, i just can't TRUST her "food writing" autobiography anymore

boo at CLAIRE!
 
2022-09-01 10:11:46 PM  
Axeofjudgement:

It's like watching a caterpillar wannabe Ragen Chastain bloom into an abomination of a butterfly with ravenous followers

yes. i remember who that is. and yes, it makes me sad.

looking at the farkers who LOVE claire, with a serious side-eye......
 
2022-09-01 10:20:02 PM  

natazha: You do know you can buy frozen pizza rolls in handy serving-sized trays?

Difficulty: Their idea of a serving.


Convenience? How about ordering a regular pizza (or Sicilian) uncut. Slice it up and roll it your way.

Easy peasy
 
2022-09-01 10:24:10 PM  
I have no idea how good tofu pizza rolls are. They might be awesome. But this...

They passed the Official Test of a Pizza Roll: They burned the shiat out of my mouth.

Is absolute bullsh*t.
 
2022-09-01 10:29:29 PM  

AnudderFreakinFarker: natazha: You do know you can buy frozen pizza rolls in handy serving-sized trays?

Difficulty: Their idea of a serving.

Convenience? How about ordering a regular pizza (or Sicilian) uncut. Slice it up and roll it your way.

Easy peasy


There's a place near me that sells "pizza rolls" as an app. They're basically just mini stromboli.
 
2022-09-01 10:36:45 PM  
Someone mentioned twice earlier might have abandoned ship due to a really awful job on the websites behalf and a ham handed response after days of people wondering what and why , in a daily thread. I too miss said person.
 
2022-09-01 10:44:20 PM  

alienated: Someone mentioned twice earlier might have abandoned ship due to a really awful job on the websites behalf and a ham handed response after days of people wondering what and why , in a daily thread. I too miss said person.


Fark mods curating? No!

Fark. Mods curating a Ukrainian war thread? Never

Fark mods coming out the next day and trying to explain... OK probably.

Drew farked ellen pao
 
2022-09-01 10:44:23 PM  

alienated: Someone mentioned twice earlier might have abandoned ship due to a really awful job on the websites behalf and a ham handed response after days of people wondering what and why , in a daily thread. I too miss said person.


uhmm, wat? you mean LP?

he's missing EVERYWHERE, not just there..........

i am sad.
 
2022-09-01 10:46:15 PM  
oh, i guessed wrong on the daily threads. maybe?

no, i mean EVERYWHERE....

i am sad.
 
2022-09-01 10:49:48 PM  

Axeofjudgement: alienated: Someone mentioned twice earlier might have abandoned ship due to a really awful job on the websites behalf and a ham handed response after days of people wondering what and why , in a daily thread. I too miss said person.

Fark mods curating? No!

Fark. Mods curating a Ukrainian war thread? Never

Fark mods coming out the next day and trying to explain... OK probably.

Drew farked ellen pao


YOU know what i meant by everywhere.........even if you're also gone.
 
2022-09-01 10:51:24 PM  
sorry kids, i better go to bed soon. my SAD is translating into irritable.

my apologies 😟
 
2022-09-01 10:54:02 PM  

grumpfuff: I have no idea how good tofu pizza rolls are. They might be awesome. But this...

They passed the Official Test of a Pizza Roll: They burned the shiat out of my mouth.

Is absolute bullsh*t.


It's technically true as Claire does eat a lot of questionable food that could be considered sh*t. A hot tofu pizza roll can peel the top layer of epithelial cells cleanly off, thereby removing any residue as well.
 
2022-09-01 10:54:56 PM  

luna1580: sorry kids, i better go to bed soon. my SAD is translating into irritable.

my apologies 😟


It's understood. I miss him as well.
 
2022-09-01 11:13:39 PM  
i really am going to bed, and going sad, now.
 
2022-09-02 12:22:03 AM  
So what do I do? Buy my nephew and niece Pro Cook stainless steel or go in for All-Clad?
 
2022-09-02 1:09:57 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size


/I, too, miss the person who hasn't been seen, like, anywhere lately.
//he doesn't have to come back, but it'd be nice if we didn't have to have a BeyondFark thread for him.
 
151 [OhFark]
2022-09-02 1:29:42 AM  

Axeofjudgement: but my nephews and neice would sneak the shiat out of em before the adults did when I made em in Ohio.


I was staying with my friend a few months ago, and her daughters friend happened to be staying the night one night. Me and my friend got kinda tipsy (drunk as fark) she went to bed (again, friend, not like that). So I stay up playing board games with the kids and I'm like yo, I'm hungry y'all want some pizza rolls? Of course they say yes, so I dumped a giant ass 5lb bag onto the sheet tray, cook em, pull em out of the oven, go to smoke to let em cool off a bit before we eat em. Come back inside and these damn kids left me farking SIX pizza rolls man. Six. Out of like a hundred. Six.
 
151 [OhFark]
2022-09-02 1:33:44 AM  
Well I certainly didn't read this thread all the way through 😬😬😬
 
2022-09-02 2:54:21 PM  
From a calorie standpoint tofu has fewer than bread with more protein. So from the point of view of a protein obsessed lifter looking to recomposition these could be....

Oh she used deep fried tofu puffs. Nevermind.

I would make an oven baked crispy tofu (I've posted that recipe before) topped with an appropriate serving of strong flavoured cheese and then dip them in home made marinara. That would be healthier than pizza bites, kick the junk craving, depending on the cheese it'd be a good amount of protein with not too many calories.


I have all these ingredients. Lunch tomorrow maybe?
 
2022-09-02 4:30:44 PM  

eyeq360: grumpfuff: I have no idea how good tofu pizza rolls are. They might be awesome. But this...

They passed the Official Test of a Pizza Roll: They burned the shiat out of my mouth.

Is absolute bullsh*t.

It's technically true as Claire does eat a lot of questionable food that could be considered sh*t. A hot tofu pizza roll can peel the top layer of epithelial cells cleanly off, thereby removing any residue as well.


By that test a really hot soup is a pizza roll.
 
2022-09-03 2:16:19 AM  

eyeq360: luna1580: sorry kids, i better go to bed soon. my SAD is translating into irritable.

my apologies 😟

It's understood. I miss him as well.


I do too. I don't understand the hints in this thread as to the possible cause (owning to never being on TF, I guess) but hope he returns soon.
Vegelon Rights And Peace!

Vegetable Rights And Peace! Neil, The Young Ones
Youtube 0y7QhnjyDXU
 
2022-09-03 3:25:59 AM  
If only someone could invent a pizza roll that didn't go sploot while baking that would be ever so swell.
 
2022-09-03 3:34:52 AM  

fragMasterFlash: If only someone could invent a pizza roll that didn't go sploot while baking that would be ever so swell.


If it didn't sploot, wouldn't it be ever so *not* swell?
 
2022-09-03 3:38:42 AM  

Thinkybird: fragMasterFlash: If only someone could invent a pizza roll that didn't go sploot while baking that would be ever so swell.

If it didn't sploot, wouldn't it be ever so *not* swell?


Perhaps they should be pre-swole so they can reverse sploot?
 
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