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(Variety)   The best movies never made. Titanic 2: Electric Boogaloo sadly missing from the list   (variety.com) divider line
    More: Sad, American film actors, American television actors, Film history, Leonardo DiCaprio, Howard Hughes biopic, Christopher Nolan, auteur passion projects, Star Wars  
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1824 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Aug 2022 at 7:30 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-08-20 5:16:22 AM  
That movie was titled "Star Wars: Duel of the Fates" and did not include any of the Emperor Palpatine nonsense that dragged down "The Rise of Skywalker." The script for Trevorrow's movie included bigger roles for John Boyega's Finn and Kelly Marie Tran's Rose

Interested.
 
2022-08-20 6:47:44 AM  
But but but,,,

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-20 7:24:46 AM  
Part of me wishes we had gotten Kevin Smith's Superman movie starring Nic Cage as the Man of Steel.

How often do you get to see a train carrying other trains loaded with hair-trigger bombs smash into a train carrying other trains loaded with Faberge eggs carved from critical-mass plutonium right over a leaking nuclear power plant built over about-to-erupt Yellowstone Supervolcano as a meteor made of Ezra Millers strikes?
 
2022-08-20 7:39:10 AM  
Yeah, he's turned out to be a Jack bag. At one point, James Franco would've been perfect for a James Dean biopic.

42 was a really good film about Jackie Robinson. Chadwick Boseman was great.
 
2022-08-20 7:46:43 AM  
So 19-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio was too young too play a guy who died at 24 in real life?
 
2022-08-20 7:57:45 AM  
I thought the sequel to Titanic was Hindenburg.
 
2022-08-20 7:59:38 AM  
So Patty Jenkins, who made WW1984, thought the Thor Dark World script was bad and dropped out?
 
2022-08-20 8:11:23 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Yeah, he's turned out to be a Jack bag. At one point, James Franco would've been perfect for a James Dean biopic.


He was in one.
 
2022-08-20 8:13:12 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Part of me wishes we had gotten Kevin Smith's Superman movie starring Nic Cage as the Man of Steel.

How often do you get to see a train carrying other trains loaded with hair-trigger bombs smash into a train carrying other trains loaded with Faberge eggs carved from critical-mass plutonium right over a leaking nuclear power plant built over about-to-erupt Yellowstone Supervolcano as a meteor made of Ezra Millers strikes?


Sounds like Waterworld. Probably a cult classic, but so objectively bad, that you would have had to admire it.

But as far as an MCEscher fractal train derailment, we always have Battlefield Earth. YOU ALL HAVE BATTLEFIELD EARTH!
 
2022-08-20 8:16:05 AM  
Miller got far along enough to cast Armie Hammer as Batman

Ah, a Batman that will actually suck your blood.
 
2022-08-20 8:19:12 AM  
Lot of biopics. I hate biopics.

I would have seen Kill Bill 3 but that ship has sailed.
 
2022-08-20 8:24:43 AM  
A DARKER Batman, really?
 
2022-08-20 8:27:52 AM  
List fails without
Fark user imageView Full Size


... but redeems itself a little with Guillermo del Toro's "At the Mountains of Madness". That would have been glorious.
 
2022-08-20 8:35:10 AM  
What about Highlander II?
I did like the Suspiria remake, but clocking in at almost three hours, that was enough, thank you.
 
2022-08-20 8:35:17 AM  

Ginnungagap42: List fails without
[Fark user image 360x349]


I actually tried to watch Buckaroo Banzai for the first time the other day. I had to shut it off after like 5-10 minutes. I kept thinking: "What the fark is this shiat?

Maybe I didn't wait long enough. Or perhaps you had to watch it in its time.
 
2022-08-20 8:37:27 AM  

bostonguy: Ginnungagap42: List fails without
[Fark user image 360x349]

I actually tried to watch Buckaroo Banzai for the first time the other day. I had to shut it off after like 5-10 minutes. I kept thinking: "What the fark is this shiat?

Maybe I didn't wait long enough. Or perhaps you had to watch it in its time.


Buckaroo Banzai is a good drinking movie, or friend movie. It was so batshiat insane. Hulu had it for the first time 3ish years ago, and my roommates insited I drop everything and watch this "classic".

It was an enjoyable night, but a movie I will never watch again, on my own.
 
2022-08-20 8:44:08 AM  

Man On A Mission: But but but,,,

[Fark user image image 850x1259]


Oh you.
Have you never seen Raise the Titanic?  The 1997 film is a prequel.
/old
 
2022-08-20 8:44:15 AM  

Confabulat: So 19-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio was too young too play a guy who died at 24 in real life?


24 is old for Leonardo DiCaprio.
 
2022-08-20 8:44:44 AM  

Ginnungagap42: List fails without
[Fark user image image 360x349]

... but redeems itself a little with Guillermo del Toro's "At the Mountains of Madness". That would have been glorious.


RIP Fred Ward
 
2022-08-20 8:50:34 AM  

bostonguy: Ginnungagap42: List fails without
[Fark user image 360x349]

I actually tried to watch Buckaroo Banzai for the first time the other day. I had to shut it off after like 5-10 minutes. I kept thinking: "What the fark is this shiat?

Maybe I didn't wait long enough. Or perhaps you had to watch it in its time.


Just pretend you are having a malaria fever dream then it will make perfect sense
 
2022-08-20 8:54:06 AM  

Northern: Man On A Mission: But but but,,,

[Fark user image image 850x1259]

Oh you.
Have you never seen Raise the Titanic?  The 1997 film is a prequel.
/old


It's real.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-20 9:05:13 AM  
The ideas and pre-production details behind Jodorowsky's Dune are so amazing, the movie didn't even have to be made for it to exist in our cultural consciousness.

Had it actually been made, it would have been incomprehensible and unwatchable, at least if the viewer were sober. But it would have been a fantastic disaster.
 
2022-08-20 9:10:12 AM  
No Leonard Part 7?
 
2022-08-20 9:24:56 AM  
Tarantino wants his daughter for Kill Bill Vol. 3 when the original BB is still available?

Gogo has a twin?

Is QT watching too many soaps?
 
2022-08-20 9:30:53 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: Tarantino wants his daughter for Kill Bill Vol. 3 when the original BB is still available?


He wants Uma's daughter, the lesbian from Stranger Things to play her. She looks a lot like her. But it doesn't look like it's happening so it doesn't matter.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-20 9:58:07 AM  

TheCubsFan: No Leonard Part 7?


I am holding out for Ghost Dad 2: Spiritual Consent
 
2022-08-20 10:12:41 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-20 10:15:18 AM  
Downey would not make a good Poe.
They guy who plays goth Batman might though.
 
2022-08-20 10:23:31 AM  
Space Balls II: The Soich for More Money
 
2022-08-20 10:32:09 AM  
Spike Jonze's "Harold and the Purple Crayon"

I'll take, "Real Movie or Porn Parody Title" for $200, Ken
 
2022-08-20 10:51:08 AM  

Confabulat: So 19-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio was too young too play a guy who died at 24 in real life?


I think it was just that Dicaprio looked much younger than he was. Which I can see.
 
2022-08-20 11:21:00 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: bostonguy: Ginnungagap42: List fails without
[Fark user image 360x349]

I actually tried to watch Buckaroo Banzai for the first time the other day. I had to shut it off after like 5-10 minutes. I kept thinking: "What the fark is this shiat?

Maybe I didn't wait long enough. Or perhaps you had to watch it in its time.

Just pretend you are having a malaria fever dream then it will make perfect sense


No, you just have to let go and accept the odd reality of a crime fighting, rock and rolling, super scientist, and his band of cohorts

Pluse Lithgow chewing scenery like it's French pastry is wonderful

Also has a lovely little never mentioned Cold War joke, the secretary of defense is Russian
 
2022-08-20 11:43:50 AM  
variety.comView Full Size


I stopped scrolling at this pic

What was the article about?
 
2022-08-20 12:08:23 PM  

Random Celebrity Insult Generator: Spike Jonze's "Harold and the Purple Crayon"

I'll take, "Real Movie or Porn Parody Title" for $200, Ken


I love Spike Jonze's stuff and I really wanted to love "Where the Wild Things Are."
Hated it.
 
2022-08-20 12:09:56 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-20 1:15:35 PM  
I thought this was the sequel to Titanic...

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2022-08-20 1:19:51 PM  
Kung Pow Enter the Fist 2
 
2022-08-20 1:43:31 PM  
It doesn't take theology and geometry to see this list should have included A Confederacy of Dunces.
 
2022-08-20 1:58:13 PM  

CarnySaur: What about Highlander II?
I did like the Suspiria remake, but clocking in at almost three hours, that was enough, thank you.


I remember watching suspiria in my very early days of getting high, so I was quite high. It was a freaky movie, and I liked it, but the music was so damn captivating.
 
2022-08-20 1:59:10 PM  

talkyournonsense: They guy who plays goth Batman might though.


You'd have to be more specific.
 
2022-08-20 2:01:27 PM  
Ugh... That Del Toro Lovecraft film wasn't on my radar at all. That would have been amazing. His style would lend itself so well to a lot of those stories.
 
2022-08-20 2:05:06 PM  

CarnySaur: What about Highlander II?

I know it's a joke that Highlander 2 was so bad that it doesn't exist but also, the very premise of the original precludes any sequels. "There can be only one".


The original had such great cinematography and for its time a film that wasn't ILM, VFX that they taught it in my high school film class. But it was inherently a one film deal. But it didn't turn out that way.
 
2022-08-20 2:05:37 PM  

Mugato: Northern: Man On A Mission: But but but,,,

[Fark user image image 850x1259]

Oh you.
Have you never seen Raise the Titanic?  The 1997 film is a prequel.
/old

It's real.

[Fark user image image 189x266]


Just watched that on Tubi last week for the first time.  It is hilariously awful
 
2022-08-20 2:06:01 PM  
but his storyline was far more darker

*sigh*
 
2022-08-20 2:08:44 PM  

Firststepsadoozie: [Fark user image 735x980]


I can't see Sad Sack Nick Cage or Maniac Nick Cage as Superman. Though that may have made it a great film.
 
2022-08-20 2:39:47 PM  
Schindler's List 2
 
2022-08-20 2:44:23 PM  

BeerGraduate: Schindler's List 2


"Oh shiat, there was another list on the other side!"
 
2022-08-20 2:46:19 PM  

bostonguy: I actually tried to watch Buckaroo Banzai for the first time the other day. I had to shut it off after like 5-10 minutes. I kept thinking: "What the fark is this shiat?


The film is entirely inside its own thing.  (Which happens to be a pastiche of Doc Savage, but that's beside the point unless you know Doc Savage.)  There's no point in watching a little bit of it except for surreal lulz, because it builds on itself.  It doesn't exist in the context of generic films, only in its own, so if you don't watch enough for the atmosphere to click, it's like you're staring at Magic Eye pictures that don't have a stereoscopic image separated in them.  Kind of a waste of your time.

You don't need to see the film, or to 'get' it, or so on.  But it might work a lot better on the second try, if you care to bother.

Incidentally, the DVD commentary for it is amazing.  It's the director and a guy pretending to be one of the actual Cavaliers, and they discuss what actually happened in real life vs what the film was allowed to portray, etc.  He complains at one point that the actor playing him is wearing two belts.  "I don't wear two belts!  I never wore two belts!"  It's almost as good as the commentary for Carpenter's The Thing.
 
2022-08-20 3:37:42 PM  
Subby, I believe you mean
Titanic II: Rose Figures Out How to Fit Two Farking People on a Gigantic Goddamn Door
 
2022-08-20 3:46:45 PM  

Mugato: BeerGraduate: Schindler's List 2

"Oh shiat, there was another list on the other side!"


..."I have a very particular set of skills."
 
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