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(Esquire) Hero Sometimes it is hard to improve on the original headline. This is one of those times. "This Timeline of Trumpworld Excuses Proves Mar-a-Lago Raid Week Was Even Stupider Than You Remember" Tag is for the editor who picked the headline   (esquire.com) divider line
    More: Hero, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Barack Obama, President of the United States, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, J. Edgar Hoover, knee-jerk nihilist sycophancy of Trump, Magistrate  
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3931 clicks; posted to Politics » on 19 Aug 2022 at 7:55 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



51 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-08-19 6:55:45 PM  
I enjoyed every single word of that.

If this farker doesn't serve time, this isn't really America.
 
2022-08-19 6:56:08 PM  
*anymore
 
2022-08-19 7:59:20 PM  
What's even more stupid are the people who support this farking idiot ..
 
2022-08-19 8:02:04 PM  
FTFA: "January 6 pep rally MC-slash-Olympic sprinter Josh Hawley..."

Cheffkiss.gif
 
2022-08-19 8:02:04 PM  
Watching the flailing excuse flinging has been delightful.
 
2022-08-19 8:04:36 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-19 8:04:58 PM  

HedlessChickn: *anymore


It never was, you just didn't notice because history's been fairly successfully whitewashed.
 
2022-08-19 8:07:19 PM  
If only there was a Farker they could have ^c ^v
 
2022-08-19 8:09:16 PM  
If they can do this to a former president, imagine what they can do to you

did he call himself 'former'?  Umpossible.  Umpossible I say
 
2022-08-19 8:11:29 PM  
That raid happened what, 2 weeks ago?  How has he not been arrested yet?

I thought the guy was peddling nuclear secrets?  Or it should be pretty open and shut that he violated the national records act right?
 
2022-08-19 8:11:39 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-19 8:12:39 PM  
Some Republican voters I know think he's awful but would still vote for him because of socialism or something. Other Republican voters I know think he's God on earth and would sacrifice their children for him.
 
2022-08-19 8:13:28 PM  
Each day brought a new development almost divinely crafted to expose the knee-jerk nihilist sycophancy of Trump's defenders, as they repeatedly threw themselves in front of the Reality Bus only to be shocked-SHOCKED!-to find themselves under the wheels by the following lunchtime.

This guy's writing is downright delicious.
 
2022-08-19 8:14:07 PM  
"Picked?"

That is an odd way of looking at how publications work Subby. You think they let people submit ones?
 
2022-08-19 8:14:23 PM  

king of vegas: Some Republican voters I know think he's awful but would still vote for him because of socialism or something. Other Republican voters I know think he's God on earth and would sacrifice their children for him.


Encourage them to do so. Donald is an Aztec god and demands offering.
 
2022-08-19 8:14:31 PM  
First president to govern from prison
 
2022-08-19 8:17:11 PM  
My favorite part is how I - yes, even an ordinary puke like me - may have top secret shiat on my phone!

/sinister guitar theme
 
2022-08-19 8:19:45 PM  
They could have saved a bunch of words and just put up the list mrshowrules has posted and maintained.
 
2022-08-19 8:20:54 PM  
Will update list accordingly.

New info so far:
The boxes were full of golf balls
We thought the coop would work, so we didn't bother packing until the last minute
Trump didn't pack them personally, how could he know what any of it was

Also from earlier today:
Only a few people were even allowed to look at them at Mar-a-Lago
 
2022-08-19 8:21:09 PM  

buster_v: Watching the flailing excuse flinging has been delightful.


Yeah, but you aren't the audience for these excuses.  It's aimed at the faithful to keep them believing, and for them they work just fine.  The fact that the excuses are just a grab bag of mutually exclusive and logically impossible bullshiat doesn't phase them in the least.  Since Trump's strategy seems to be "let me get away with it our I will burn everything down", keeping his marching morons in line is his best move.
 
2022-08-19 8:22:26 PM  
That was a very enjoyable read!
 
2022-08-19 8:22:40 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-19 8:23:33 PM  
Nothing new, straight from the playbook


That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

The Narcissist's Prayer (by Dayna Craig) beautifully illustrates the inner workings of the narcissistic mind. Denial, gaslighting, minimising poor behaviour, blameshifting and shamedumping all feature in this one simple verse, all hallmarks of covert emotional abuse. To a narcissist the 'truth' is not seen as a finite, fixed entity, but as being malleable - as being whatever the narcissist says it is, at the time they say it.  The truth is simply whatever serves the narcissist at that particular time
.
 
2022-08-19 8:26:23 PM  

Dave and the Mission: Will update list accordingly.

New info so far:
The boxes were full of golf balls
We thought the coop would work, so we didn't bother packing until the last minute
Trump didn't pack them personally, how could he know what any of it was

Also from earlier today:
Only a few people were even allowed to look at them at Mar-a-Lago


Don't forget the basement. That no one in FL has.
 
2022-08-19 8:29:26 PM  

Dave and the Mission: Will update list accordingly.

New info so far:
The boxes were full of golf balls
We thought the coop would work, so we didn't bother packing until the last minute
Trump didn't pack them personally, how could he know what any of it was

Also from earlier today:
Only a few people were even allowed to look at them at Mar-a-Lago


ftfa: We were also treated to the line that the FBI had mostly recovered boxes of knick-knacks like cocktail napkins and golf balls.


Just...wow, right?
 
2022-08-19 8:30:29 PM  
It's crazy how much this story has changed in the two years since the FBI used a search warrant to get those boxes from mar-a-lag....wait, what?!?!

It hasn't even been two weeks?!?!!?!?!  Then why have I aged so much since that news broke?!?! ;)
 
2022-08-19 8:31:33 PM  
--
Stupid Excuses for having Top Seceret Classified Documents in your Pool House Closet.

By category:
1. I didn't have anything I shouldn't have:
1a. I didn't take any boxes
1b. There were no boxes at Mar-a-Lago
1c. I returned the boxes already
1d. Those boxes were full of golf balls

2. If I did, someone else is responsible:
2a. Anyone could have brought those boxes to Mar-a-Lago
2b. We just took stuff willy-nilly without looking at what it was
2c. We thought the coop would work, so we didn't bother packing 'til the last minute
2d. Mishandled and rushed move by GSA
2e. The boxes were planted by the FBI
2f. Trump didn't pack them himself, how could he know what they were?

3. Anyway, It doesn't matter for reasons:
3a.  Archives could have retrieved the boxes anytime they wanted
3b.  All the documents in the boxes were declassified
3c.  Anything I touched became automatically declassified by standing order
3d.  This information is already on the web for anyone to see
3e.  The documents should not have been classified in the first place
3f.  They were my documents
3g.  I was protecting the boxes for the Archives
3h.  I needed to share them with the American people
3i.  I don't believe in the classification system
3j.  Laws against espionage are wrong
3k.  The sensitivity of the documents has expired.
3l.  Like President Nixon said, "if the president does it, then it is not illegal."
3m. Only a few people were allowed in that room

4. Furthermore, everyone else is lying or has done worse:
4a. Nobody cared about it when Hillary did it.
4b. Obama took more boxes to Chicago
4c. Democrat hoax because J6 Committee ratings were dropping
4d. Nuh-uhhh
4e. Fake news
4f. The FBI took documents protected by Executive privilege
4g. My lawyers were involved so it's Attorney-Client privilege
 
2022-08-19 8:32:59 PM  
Where's the official list? Is it past 30 now?
 
2022-08-19 8:37:10 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Where's the official list? Is it past 30 now?


Don't be ridiculous.  It's EXACTLY thirty.
 
2022-08-19 8:38:56 PM  

RyansPrivates: They could have saved a bunch of words and just put up the list mrshowrules has posted and maintained.


Gyrfalcon: Where's the official list? Is it past 30 now?


1. There were no boxes at Mar-a-Lago
2. Other people brought those boxes to Mar-a-Lago
3. Archives could have retrieved the boxes anytime they wanted
4. All the documents in the boxes were declassified
5. I was protecting the boxes for the Archives
6. The boxes were planted by the FBI
7. Obama had more boxes
8.The documents should not have been classified in the first place
9. The documents were already returned.
10. They were my documents
11. There was a standing order that any documents I took out of the Oval Office were automatically declassified
12. Mishandled and rushed move by GSA
13. Invented hoax because J6 Committee ratings were dropping
14. Laws against espionage are wrong
15. Documents are protected by Client-attorney Privilege 
16. Documents are protected by Executive Privilege
17. Not only were the FBI wrong in taking them - they better give them back
18. The sensitivity of the documents has expired.
19. Like President Nixon said, "if the president does it, then it is not illegal."
20. I don't believe in the classification system
21. It was an assassination plot
22. Charging Trump would cause so much mayhem it would be a monstrous mistake
23. Every President takes classified documents with them when they leave
24. Mark Meadows planted the documents.
25. I couldn't trust National Archives with the documents because they're controlled by Biden and Obama
26. Only a limited number of Mar-a-Lago staff had access to the documents
 
2022-08-19 8:40:46 PM  

Tarl3k: It's crazy how much this story has changed in the two years since the FBI used a search warrant to get those boxes from mar-a-lag....wait, what?!?!

It hasn't even been two weeks?!?!!?!?!  Then why have I aged so much since that news broke?!?! ;)


Cause if it doesn't go away in four hours you should have seen a doctor.
 
2022-08-19 8:44:00 PM  

bobug: ftfa: We were also treated to the line that the FBI had mostly recovered boxes of knick-knacks like cocktail napkins and golf balls.


Just...wow, right?


That was the only part that I hadn't heard before. Probably didn't get much traction because even the Rs found it too unbelievable. Even the people who describe the execution of the warrant as a "RAID!" couldn't swallow that much BS.
 
2022-08-19 8:50:10 PM  
I prefer @mrshowrules list instead of having to wade through paragraph after paragraph of an already out of date list of excuses/deflections.

We don't really need in-depth explanations for each of the attempts to put a spin on this; the fact that the list is already so lengthy is indicative of  the GOP's desperation to deflect from the seriousness of the issue and their willingness to spew lies.
 
2022-08-19 8:50:19 PM  
This article is just one long Fark comment which is why I love you all so much.
 
2022-08-19 8:50:35 PM  

mrshowrules: RyansPrivates: They could have saved a bunch of words and just put up the list mrshowrules has posted and maintained.

Gyrfalcon: Where's the official list? Is it past 30 now?

1. There were no boxes at Mar-a-Lago
2. Other people brought those boxes to Mar-a-Lago
3. Archives could have retrieved the boxes anytime they wanted
4. All the documents in the boxes were declassified
5. I was protecting the boxes for the Archives
6. The boxes were planted by the FBI
7. Obama had more boxes
8.The documents should not have been classified in the first place
9. The documents were already returned.
10. They were my documents
11. There was a standing order that any documents I took out of the Oval Office were automatically declassified
12. Mishandled and rushed move by GSA
13. Invented hoax because J6 Committee ratings were dropping
14. Laws against espionage are wrong
15. Documents are protected by Client-attorney Privilege 
16. Documents are protected by Executive Privilege
17. Not only were the FBI wrong in taking them - they better give them back
18. The sensitivity of the documents has expired.
19. Like President Nixon said, "if the president does it, then it is not illegal."
20. I don't believe in the classification system
21. It was an assassination plot
22. Charging Trump would cause so much mayhem it would be a monstrous mistake
23. Every President takes classified documents with them when they leave
24. Mark Meadows planted the documents.
25. I couldn't trust National Archives with the documents because they're controlled by Biden and Obama
26. Only a limited number of Mar-a-Lago staff had access to the documents


21? Assassination? I missed that one.
 
2022-08-19 8:56:09 PM  

Exile On Beale Street: 21? Assassination? I missed that one.


https://www.fark.com/comments/12512184?utm_source=feed&utm_medium=comments&utm_campaign=fark#new

The level of rhetoric is so stupid, claims like this are practically ignored which is not good.
 
2022-08-19 9:07:37 PM  

Exile On Beale Street: 21? Assassination? I missed that one.


Something about the raid being the start of an assassination plot *shrug*
 
2022-08-19 9:15:49 PM  
"Trump mad!"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-08-19 9:21:10 PM  

Dave and the Mission: --
Stupid Excuses for having Top Seceret Classified Documents in your Pool House Closet.

By category:
1. I didn't have anything I shouldn't have:
1a. I didn't take any boxes
1b. There were no boxes at Mar-a-Lago
1c. I returned the boxes already
1d. Those boxes were full of golf balls

2. If I did, someone else is responsible:
2a. Anyone could have brought those boxes to Mar-a-Lago
2b. We just took stuff willy-nilly without looking at what it was
2c. We thought the coop would work, so we didn't bother packing 'til the last minute
2d. Mishandled and rushed move by GSA
2e. The boxes were planted by the FBI
2f. Trump didn't pack them himself, how could he know what they were?

3. Anyway, It doesn't matter for reasons:
3a.  Archives could have retrieved the boxes anytime they wanted
3b.  All the documents in the boxes were declassified
3c.  Anything I touched became automatically declassified by standing order
3d.  This information is already on the web for anyone to see
3e.  The documents should not have been classified in the first place
3f.  They were my documents
3g.  I was protecting the boxes for the Archives
3h.  I needed to share them with the American people
3i.  I don't believe in the classification system
3j.  Laws against espionage are wrong
3k.  The sensitivity of the documents has expired.
3l.  Like President Nixon said, "if the president does it, then it is not illegal."
3m. Only a few people were allowed in that room

4. Furthermore, everyone else is lying or has done worse:
4a. Nobody cared about it when Hillary did it.
4b. Obama took more boxes to Chicago
4c. Democrat hoax because J6 Committee ratings were dropping
4d. Nuh-uhhh
4e. Fake news
4f. The FBI took documents protected by Executive privilege
4g. My lawyers were involved so it's Attorney-Client privilege


I enjoy your outline thought process.
 
2022-08-19 9:37:22 PM  
A God Emperor stands above man's law.   Trump was sent by Jeebus to bring America to the End Times on the side of right.

No, not a meme or a troll or even a rabid AM talk host.   These words have been spoken by millions of Americans, some of whom are in Congress.
 
2022-08-19 10:15:07 PM  

Exile On Beale Street: mrshowrules: RyansPrivates: They could have saved a bunch of words and just put up the list mrshowrules has posted and maintained.

Gyrfalcon: Where's the official list? Is it past 30 now?

1. There were no boxes at Mar-a-Lago
2. Other people brought those boxes to Mar-a-Lago
3. Archives could have retrieved the boxes anytime they wanted
4. All the documents in the boxes were declassified
5. I was protecting the boxes for the Archives
6. The boxes were planted by the FBI
7. Obama had more boxes
8.The documents should not have been classified in the first place
9. The documents were already returned.
10. They were my documents
11. There was a standing order that any documents I took out of the Oval Office were automatically declassified
12. Mishandled and rushed move by GSA
13. Invented hoax because J6 Committee ratings were dropping
14. Laws against espionage are wrong
15. Documents are protected by Client-attorney Privilege 
16. Documents are protected by Executive Privilege
17. Not only were the FBI wrong in taking them - they better give them back
18. The sensitivity of the documents has expired.
19. Like President Nixon said, "if the president does it, then it is not illegal."
20. I don't believe in the classification system
21. It was an assassination plot
22. Charging Trump would cause so much mayhem it would be a monstrous mistake
23. Every President takes classified documents with them when they leave
24. Mark Meadows planted the documents.
25. I couldn't trust National Archives with the documents because they're controlled by Biden and Obama
26. Only a limited number of Mar-a-Lago staff had access to the documents

21? Assassination? I missed that one.


It's probably my favorite, since TFG wasn't even there, and the FBI knew it and intentionally chose to do it at that time.
 
2022-08-20 12:01:18 AM  
There was also the debut of "the president can declassify anything"...

Bullshiat. We already knew about it, specifically because we weren't sure if he would try and declassify important shiat. We've been discussing this for 2 years at least...
 
2022-08-20 12:03:13 AM  

HedlessChickn: I enjoyed every single word of that.

If this farker doesn't serve time, this isn't really America.


This is what America has been for too long, sadly.
 
2022-08-20 12:36:17 AM  

Dave and the Mission: Will update list accordingly.

New info so far:
The boxes were full of golf balls
We thought the coop would work, so we didn't bother packing until the last minute
Trump didn't pack them personally, how could he know what any of it was

Also from earlier today:
Only a few people were even allowed to look at them at Mar-a-Lago


Is this the (much easier to manage) list of excuses that haven'tbeen used?
 
2022-08-20 12:47:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Every picture I've seen of this walking spirochete recently, he looks worse than in the one before. The lawsuits, legal cases, and stress of his misdeeds must be catching up to him.

GOOD.
 
2022-08-20 1:08:02 AM  
...none of these potential charges reportedly hinge on the documents in question being classified

Ohhh, now THAT is an interesting development. They aren't even talking about the removal of the documents themselves, that's gonna have to take a number and wait in line? Wow... All of this shiat for soemthing we haven't even guessed at, PLUS whatever happens from these documents? Yeah, it is a bad week for Donnie.
 
2022-08-20 1:27:13 AM  

GypsyJoker: [Fark user image 850x562]

Every picture I've seen of this walking spirochete recently, he looks worse than in the one before. The lawsuits, legal cases, and stress of his misdeeds must be catching up to him.

GOOD.


Nothing a few lines of Sudafed and jar of circus make-up can't clear-up.
 
2022-08-20 1:47:41 AM  

Summoner101: First president to govern from prison


Trump signed a law that anyone convicted of mishandling classified documents can't run for president.
 
2022-08-20 2:29:14 AM  

J45Picker: "Trump mad!"

[Fark user image 850x563]


img-9gag-fun.9cache.comView Full Size
 
2022-08-20 3:54:22 AM  

mrshowrules: RyansPrivates: They could have saved a bunch of words and just put up the list mrshowrules has posted and maintained.

Gyrfalcon: Where's the official list? Is it past 30 now?

1. There were no boxes at Mar-a-Lago
2. Other people brought those boxes to Mar-a-Lago
3. Archives could have retrieved the boxes anytime they wanted
4. All the documents in the boxes were declassified
5. I was protecting the boxes for the Archives
6. The boxes were planted by the FBI
7. Obama had more boxes
8.The documents should not have been classified in the first place
9. The documents were already returned.
10. They were my documents
11. There was a standing order that any documents I took out of the Oval Office were automatically declassified
12. Mishandled and rushed move by GSA
13. Invented hoax because J6 Committee ratings were dropping
14. Laws against espionage are wrong
15. Documents are protected by Client-attorney Privilege 
16. Documents are protected by Executive Privilege
17. Not only were the FBI wrong in taking them - they better give them back
18. The sensitivity of the documents has expired.
19. Like President Nixon said, "if the president does it, then it is not illegal."
20. I don't believe in the classification system
21. It was an assassination plot
22. Charging Trump would cause so much mayhem it would be a monstrous mistake
23. Every President takes classified documents with them when they leave
24. Mark Meadows planted the documents.
25. I couldn't trust National Archives with the documents because they're controlled by Biden and Obama
26. Only a limited number of Mar-a-Lago staff had access to the documents


One more... but just one more please.  I'm still holding at 27 - c'mon...
 
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